Fade - Fighting Fate #3

by Maree Green

And that was a promise.

  Chapter 33

  Amy

  Alex gave me the week off.

  I wanted to show him I was reliable, but I couldn’t argue. I needed this. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing I’d chosen work over time with Daniel once he was deployed.

  His deployment was a contract for six months. I knew six months wasn’t so bad. We’d gone through that when he was in Australia. Even the no contact thing. But this was different. I knew it. He knew it. Everyone knew it. He wasn’t just going to be in a different country. He was going to be in a country in trouble. A country known for being filled with extremists who enjoyed murdering people who opposed their beliefs.

  I wasn’t stupid. I knew Daniel thought I was fairly oblivious to exactly what he was trained to do, but when he’d told me, I researched it as much as I could. I needed to know what he would be doing, and how much danger he’d be putting himself in.

  The dictionary listed the meaning of reconnaissance as, a search made for useful military information in the field, especially by examining the ground. But I knew when it came to war-torn countries and terrorism, recon meant so much more than that, and close-range recon even more again.

  They needed to find out where the worst of the bad people were stationed. They needed to find out where they kept their weapons. They needed to find out information relating to the enemy’s plans and when they were going to attack. They needed to get close, and they needed to put themselves in danger to do it. It made me feel sick.

  Now, with only a little more than twenty-four hours before D day, I lay snuggled in Daniel’s arms, listening to his deep, even breaths. It wasn’t often I woke before him, and even rarer he would keep sleeping once I woke. But for some reason, it meant a lot for me to be able to do it. Feeling him breathing under my hand calmed me. It settled the nausea that constantly lingered in my stomach these last few days.

  Emotions were a hard thing to balance. On one side, Daniel needed to know how much I was going to miss him while he was gone. He needed to know that his absence was going to affect me deeply because that showed him how much I loved him, but too much would cause him to feel guilty, and I didn’t want to do that to him. He was already in the Marines when we met. I knew that going into our relationship, so I had no right to make him feel guilty about leaving.

  I sighed. I knew I wasn’t doing a very good job of attaining balance. The constant sick feeling always seemed to show on my face. I knew he saw it.

  Glancing up, I was surprised to find his eyes open, watching me with a wary gaze.

  “Good morning, Princess. What’s with the frown so early?”

  I lightened my expression and rolled so I was lying half on top of him. “I was sulking because you weren’t awake to play with me.”

  Daniel’s lips curled up with a smirk. “You want to play?”

  Pushing myself up, I slid my leg over his body until I was straddling him, my center rubbing over his erection, and my hands on the pillow either side of his head. Daniel groaned and grabbed hold of my hips. Teasingly, I lowered myself down until I softly grazed my lower lip over his.

  Feeling my wetness spreading over his cock, I tilted my hips forward, ready to sink down on him. A knock on the door froze me.

  “Daniel?” Susan called out.

  Daniel groaned and gave me an apologetic look. “Yeah, Mom?”

  “There’s a Captain Miller here to see you?”

  All playfulness immediately left Daniel’s face. “Shit.” On that note, I scrambled off him, clutching the sheet to my chest as he sat up. “I’ll be right down.”

  I heard Susan murmur ‘okay’ before Daniel leaned forward and gave me a soft, slow kiss. Pausing, he breathed me in before giving me another little kiss and climbing from the bed.

  Silently, I watched him dress and then open the door, glancing back at me before he closed it again. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

  Nausea rolled through my stomach. Shit. I seriously needed to get this under control. I couldn’t believe I was worrying myself to the point of being sick. I couldn’t just sit here, though. It was making it worse. I wanted to know what the captain was here for.

  Swinging my legs from the bed, I quickly threw on a pair of panties and a sundress, roughly running my hands through my hair so I at least didn’t look like something the cat dragged in overnight.

  With my hand on the doorknob, I paused, gauging my stomach, wondering if I should try to throw up while Daniel was busy. I hadn’t eaten much over the course of the last day, so I didn’t think I’d have much to bring up if I tried.

  Swallowing, I took a few deep breaths and willed my stomach to behave, and then I went downstairs.

  Daniel was just saying goodbye when I reached the bottom of the stairs. In his hand was a yellow document folder.

  Captain Miller’s gaze swung to meet mine, and he tipped his hat. “Ma’am.”

  A weak smile was all I could manage under the circumstances. He must have understood, though, because he simply nodded to Daniel and turned on his heels to walk down the front path.

  I stayed where I was, one foot still on the bottom step, as Daniel closed the door behind him.

  When he turned to look at me, he gave me an inquisitive smile. “I thought I told you to stay where you were? I believe we still need to finish what you started.”

  I tried to smile, but even I could tell it was pathetic. “Can we go for a walk?” I asked.

  He sighed and closed the distance between us, placing the folder on the table as he went. “What’s wrong, Princess?”

  I stared at him while I tried to find words that would sound reasonable. “I just think I need some fresh air, and I’d like you to find some with me.”

  He grinned. “That sounds nice.” Taking my hand, he pulled me into his chest for a warm hug. “Come on, then. Let’s go take a stroll.”

  I didn’t know why, but his kindness made me want to cry. What the hell was wrong with me? Why was I handling this so badly?

  As he released me and took my hand, I made an executive decision. Enough was enough. Tonight was our last night before deployment. I refused to spend it moping with unpredictable emotions. While he was away, I wanted to be able to remember this day with as much happiness as possible.

  Slipping on my flip-flops I stepped outside, holding the hand of the man I loved. Tilting my face up to the sky, I closed my eyes and smiled.

  And I prayed for my man to come back to me.

  Chapter 34

  Daniel

  Fuck. I hated goodbyes.

  Especially ones with Amy. It seemed like I’d said goodbye to her more times over the last year than I had good mornings. I fucking hated that.

  Leaning my head back against the headrest in the passenger seat of Mom’s Camry, I clenched my jaw hard, trying to stop the sting that was burning my eyes.

  While Amy had been amazingly composed when I left her, I knew it was a fragile veil she’d been wearing. I hated that she felt the need to appear strong, but at the same time, I seriously didn’t think I would’ve coped well if she had broken down. Knowing that made me feel like shit. She was my wife now. She should feel free to be her true self, show her real emotions, in front of me, regardless of how I might react.

  Sighing, I looked out the window.

  “You okay?”

  I tried to find the words before I turned to answer Mom’s question. “I don’t know. I knew it would be hard, but . . . ” Unable to finish, I sighed instead.

  “Practice is always harder than theory,” she said softly. “The one variable we can never gauge is our emotions.”

  I nodded. “Exactly.”

  It was a few more moments before Mom spoke again. “She’ll be all right, you know. She has an amazing network of friends, and now family, who love her,” she said reassuringly.

  “She stresses too much,” I said, pressing my lips together.

  Mom gave me a dry look. “What human being in love wouldn’
t stress, Daniel? It’s natural. She’ll be fine. You’re not giving her enough credit.”

  I frowned at that. “I just want her to be happy.”

  “Then you just concentrate on getting back to her in one piece, okay?”

  Inhaling, I took those words, and I made it a promise. I would do everything I could not to break it.

  Conversation turned light after that, and I was sure it was Mom’s way of trying to distract me and get me out of my funk.

  It worked. Kind of. But ten minutes later, we arrived at the airport, where I was to catch a commercial flight down to John Wayne. From there, I would head to Camp Pendleton, where I would join Delta Unit, who were deploying to Turkey. From there, I was on my own. Bound for Syria.

  Almost seven thousand miles away from Amy.

  Mom pulled over into the quick drop-off lane and put the car into park. We’d argued about this the night before. It took a while, but I’d finally managed to convince her that this was what I needed her to do. I knew it upset her, but I couldn’t do it any other way. It was just too hard for me.

  When she finally turned to look at me, I took her hand and smiled. “Thanks, Mom. Look after Amy for me, please.”

  She paused for a few heartbeats, then opened the door and climbed out.

  I smirked, despite the circumstances. Opening my door, I stepped out to the curb just as Mom enveloped me in a hug.

  When she eventually pulled away, she took my face in her hands, her expression stern. “Stay safe. I mean it. You make sure you come back to us.”

  Giving her a tender smile, I bent down and kissed her cheek before pulling her into another hug. “I promise I will do everything I can to get back home. I have too many reasons to fight for not to.”

  She nodded, seeming content with my promise, before releasing me so I could retrieve my duffle from the trunk.

  With one last kiss on her cheek, I stepped away from her. “Love you, Mom.”

  And then I turned and willed myself not to look back.

  Chapter 35

  Amy

  Deployed time: 1 week

  I stared down at the little packet in my hand, my heart rate steadily increasing, and my breath coming a little faster with each intake.

  My fingers lay frozen on the bubble, ready to pop the fifth little red pill from the pack. Thoughts started running through my head, scrambling, searching for explanations.

  I was on my fifth day of sugar tablets. Something was wrong. I usually had my period well and truly by the third day. I didn’t.

  Dropping the packet on the dresser, I stepped back and lowered myself onto the edge of my bed, trying to slow my breathing before I started hyperventilating.

  I tried to think. Was there a possibility I was pregnant? Or was it just the stress of the last few weeks playing havoc on my body? I had my period two weeks before Daniel and I got married, and we got married almost three weeks ago.

  Obviously, we had a lot of sex over those weeks he was home, but I was on the pill . . .

  I froze. Shit.

  The stomach bug! Oh my God. It didn’t even occur to me after that day of vomiting that the pill’s effectiveness could’ve been compromised. Why hadn’t I thought that? Everyone knew that!

  Pushing myself to my feet, my breath automatically started fast and panicked. I fanned my hands in front of my face to force some air into my lungs, but I couldn’t stop it. I was seriously about to have a panic attack.

  Lifting my head to the ceiling, I whimpered. Please don’t let me be pregnant. I couldn’t go through it without Daniel. I didn’t want to. It was something that should be shared. When we were both ready and prepared for it!

  And then there was our family and friends. I knew they were supportive of us getting married, but a baby at twenty?

  Oh my God . . . What would Seth say? Would he be disappointed in me?

  Tears sprang to my eyes. I wished so badly that Daniel was here. I couldn’t do this on my own. I just couldn’t.

  Taking a few deep, ineffective breaths, I snatched up my keys and left for the drug store.

  I tried to empty my mind as I drove. It was a little easier to do now I had a little direction. I would get a test and find out for sure before I had a complete meltdown. It could end up being nothing. Just stress. There was no point panicking over it until I knew for certain.

  In the drug store, I found the tests, choosing one that claimed to give the earliest results, and took it to the cashier. Under normal circumstances, I might’ve been embarrassed or at least slightly uncomfortable with my purchase, but I was way past caring about the faceless girl taking my money at this stage.

  Taking the paper bag from her, I paused. “Bathroom?”

  If she found my request after the purchase I just made amusing, she didn’t show it. “There’s one in the doctor’s office next door you should be able to use.”

  Thanking her, I left and went straight where she told me, closing the door and locking it behind me. Ripping the box open, I scanned the instructions, pretty sure I already knew how it worked.

  I’d never had so much trouble peeing before. It was as though my nerves had tightened every muscle in my body. But once I finally got it going, I quickly peed on the stick and clicked the lid back on before cleaning myself up and flushing.

  A knock on the door made me jump, almost causing me to drop everything. Jesus, my nerves were shot.

  “Just a minute,” I called, moving quickly to shove the stick in my bag and dispose of the trash.

  Unlocking the door, I gave the waiting lady a polite smile as I left, heading straight out to the parking lot, unsure if I was ready to face the future that awaited me.

  My hands shook as I turned on the ignition. I needed air. A lot of air.

  Turning the vents on full blast, I steeled myself for what had to be done. Reaching into my bag, I took out the terrifying item, taking a long, deep breath before looking down at it.

  A strange kind of quiet washed over me as I stared at it. I didn’t doubt that it could be wrong. Now that I could plainly see the result in front of me, I just knew it was true.

  I was pregnant.

  I was going to be a mom.

  Right.

  With methodical movements, I placed the test back in my bag and clicked on my seat belt. Putting the car in reverse, I backed out of my space and drove.

  Every movement I made was as though I was on autopilot. I was numb. Pulling up to Daniel’s mom’s house, I grabbed my bag and used the key he’d given me to open the door, then I went up to his room.

  Quietly, I sat on the edge of his bed and stared at a piece of fluff on the carpet for a long, long time.

  As time moved, the numbness faded, and my senses started returning. I thought this was a good thing, until I was suddenly assaulted by everything Daniel. His scent was unavoidable.

  Looking around the room in a daze, emotions quickly bubbled back to the surface. Tears pricked my eyes. What would Daniel think of me being pregnant? Would he be upset? Disappointed? Angry? I swallowed against the lump that formed at the thought of him being disappointed. Then big fat tears began to fall.

  Hugging his pillow to my chest, I buried my face and cried.

  I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, releasing all my fears, sadness, worry, and anxiety, but I still hadn’t quite run out of tears by the time Susan arrived home, and when she appeared in the doorway, her expression one of surprise and worry, I only started crying harder.

  “Oh my goodness, sweetie. What’s wrong?”

  She sat on the bed beside me and rubbed her hand over my back. I hadn’t seen her since the day Daniel left. She said I was welcome to stay in Daniel’s room whenever I wanted, but so far, it had been for the best that I stayed at Amber’s. My heart couldn’t handle being in Daniel’s room until now.

  I hiccupped and gazed into her eyes, unsure if I was going to be able to tell her, but then I opened my mouth, and it just fell out.

  “I’m pregnant.”

&
nbsp; Susan blinked at me, the shock more than obvious. I waited for the lecture, the tone of disappointment and anger, but it didn’t come.

  Her hand came to caress my arm as her face softened. “Did you just find out?”

  I nodded and held up the offending stick I’d somehow managed to have in my hand.

  Taking it from me, she gazed at it, while appearing to contemplate something. “Can I ask why you’re crying? Why has it upset you so much?”