Megalodon Lives

by Flash Rex

  The shark continued on its merry way around the tank. Zaller was now standing directly over the watch, but he made no attempt to pick it up. Instead he kept shifting to face the shark as it circled. Then the shark closed the circle just a fraction before turning back out towards the wall. Zaller saw his chance and looked down at the watch.

  The shark was a blur as it shot towards Zaller. Zaller looked up just in time and managed to get out of the way. Almost. The jaws clamped down on the tip of Zaller's right foot. Zaller struggled for a moment but then was free. There was a small cloud streaming from Zaller's foot as he made a mad dash to the edge of the tank opposite Burns and I. Burns started running to the other side of the tank. I dropped the video camera and got on my knees, reached in the water and started splashing. I was trying to attract the shark but he would have none of it.

  Zaller was nearly to the edge when the shark got him from below. The jaws closed on Zaller's right leg at the knee. The force of the shark propelled Zaller out of the water and he was able to grab onto the handrail that surrounded most of the tank. Burns grabbed his arm and tried to pull him over as I started running towards them. I saw Zaller going over the railing onto the pavement.

  Zaller's right leg was gone below the knee. And blood was flowing out of the stump in a pool on floor. The scene stunned me. I couldn't move until Burns screamed at me.

  "Call an ambulance!"

  I turned to run for a phone but I saw Grimshaw already running. I didn't even see Grimshaw come in. I turned back around to Zaller and Burns. Zaller was unconscious and Burns was just staring at him. The pool of blood was getting bigger and bigger. We had to stop the bleeding. I looked around for something to tie around Zaller's leg and I found a rope. I tied the rope as tight as I could around Zaller's leg as close to the bloody stump as I dared. I didn't even want to look at it. When I was finished I was pretty proud of myself for taking such a short time, but shortly after I was done two paramedics burst in and untied the rope. They loaded Zaller on a stretcher and whisked him away. Grimshaw came over to Burns and I.

  "What happened?" Asked Grimshaw.

  "What do you think happened?" I asked.

  "What the hell was he doing in the tank?" Grimshaw asked.

  "He volunteered! He thought he was so smart! I told him not to but he's a marine biologist! He's an expert! Well he's going to be an expert in peg legs now! He should've listened to me!"

  "Now what?" Asked Burns.

  "Now we close the place and get the watch out like I said we should have! We pick up the shark and then someone goes in," I said.

  "The reason I came down to see you guys in the first place was to tell you the crowd was getting a little agitated. They're angry the Shark Pavilion is closed. What are we going to tell them now?" Asked Grimshaw.

  "Tell them we're closed until further notice," I said.

  "They're gonna flip when they hear that! I can't tell them that!" Said Grimshaw.

  "Tell them they'll get a full refund," I said.

  "No," said Burns. "Tell them they'll get a voucher for a free visit."

  "A free visit? We can tell them to come when we open up the human remains wing in the Shark Pavilion!" I yelled. "I wish I wore my Kevlar outfit today."

  Grimshaw's beeper went off. "Uh oh," he said.

  "What now?" Asked Burns.

  "Only five people have my beeper number. You two. Zaller. My wife, who I doubt is even out of bed yet. And an old law school friend of mine." Zaller looked down at his beeper. "And I don't recognize the number."

  "So?" I asked.

  "This friend works in a certain state agency that I will not disclose. This week I asked him to call me if the state was going to take any negative actions towards us."

  "Like what?" Asked Burns.

  "Like criminal charges?" I asked.

  "Anything. My friend's pretty high up but he owes me some big favors from law school. Let's just say without me he'd be an assistant dogcatcher now."

  "Can you trust him," asked Burns.

  "We don't even know if it's him," I said. "Why don't you hurry up and call the number back so we know. I don't want to spend the rest of the day wondering what else bad is going to happen."

  Grimshaw went back to the office and made his call. Burns and I followed a couple of minutes later. "I guess we should call Zaller's family and tell them what happened," said Burns.

  "Does he have any family? I never heard him mention that he had any family," I said.

  "What does his emergency notification card say?" Asked Burns.

  "That moron didn't fill one out."

  "Oh well. Screw it. We tried to contact his family. What do you want for lunch?" Asked Burns.

  I looked up and saw Grimshaw running faster than I'd ever seen him. I shook my head and looked at Burns.

  "What is it?" Burns asked Grimshaw who was doubled over trying to catch his breath.

  "They're going to take the shark away before dawn tomorrow," Grimshaw gasped.

  "Who is?" I asked.

  "The state of New York. He wouldn't say exactly what governmental branch. He was afraid someone was going to catch him so he made the call very quick."

  "Did he say on what grounds they were going to seize the shark?" I asked.

  "Animal cruelty," said Grimshaw.

  "That's crap!" Said Burns.

  "No it's not," I said. "It's because of that wretch, Thigpen! The state can claim we knew the sharks were going to fight."

  "But we didn't know," said Burns.

  "Well, the state can say we did know or we should have known because it happened twice. The first time we may not have known, but the second time we have no excuse. We're screwed. They got us."

  "Where are they going to take the shark?" Asked Burns.

  "Who knows? They could take it anywhere. They could put it in the New York Aquarium. They can do anything they want with it, including display it, I suppose. As far as I know they can keep it until the matter of animal cruelty is resolved."

  "There's got to be a way out of this," said Burns.

  "Unfortunately, I don't see any way around it," I said. "Anything but animal cruelty, I'd say we had a chance. Assuming they claim their actions are to protect the shark, we have no defense. If they said the animal was a danger to the community, they wouldn't have a chance. We could just say that the shark was only dangerous in water and should the shark escape it would pose no danger to anyone on dry land. But they're not acting in anyone's best interest except the shark's, so I don't think we have a leg to stand on." Burns and Zaller looked at me. "Sorry, no pun intended."

  "None taken," said Grimshaw.

  "I don't want anyone else to have this shark," said Burns. "We took the risk. We did the work. We deserve the rewards."

  "There's nothing we can do," said Grimshaw.

  "Sure there is," said Burns. "We can release it. If I can't have it then no one can. As soon as it gets dark we're letting the shark go."

  "When are you bastards going to open up the shark exhibit?" Yelled a big, sweaty, fat guy in a tank top who was still on line to see the shark.

  "Never, fat boy!" Yelled Burns. "Grimshaw, get these filthy animals out of here! The Aquarium is closed!"

  This afternoon will go down as one of the great days in mob violence history. You take thousands of angry sweaty people, add an eight dollar admission fee, subtract the reason they paid the eight dollars in the first place, add a rude announcement kicking them out, subtract competent security, add racial tension in the parking lot and multiply the whole thing with live TV coverage and you end up with a giant wrestling match. "Thank God it wasn't bat day," I said as I peeked out one of the broken office windows.

  "I can't believe the bushes burned that fast," said Grimshaw.

  "I'm sure glad I didn't park in the main lot," I said. "I doubt there's going to be much left out there." Out of the corner of my eye I saw Grimshaw wince. "Don't worry about your car though, Grimshaw. Mobs usually stay away from convertible Corvet
tes. You probably shouldn't have parked in the handicap space, though."

  The state police responded when the local cops realized the situation was out of control. But the state police didn't get a chance to do much before the clouds darkened signaling the arrival of another cold front. The violent thunderstorm dispersed the angry mob better than any riot-clad police officers could. Only seven arrests were made. Those seven people were caught in the Shark Pavilion watching the shark. They were charged with trespassing. They paid to see the shark. They saw the shark and now they were a part of the criminal justice system. Another blow to the Hudson Valley Aquarium's chances to garner repeat business.

  The police asked us some questions about how the riot began. Burns told them to either charge us with something or stop harassing us. "And thanks for doing nothing," said Burns. The police assured us they'd be in touch.

  Dozens of reporters continued their coverage from the main parking lot. "Get them out of here!" screamed Burns at me.

  "No!" I yelled back. "Let them stay there. That way, we know where they are. If we kick them out they'll find some other way to cover the story and that may mean they'll be watching the service entrance. If we're going to try to sneak the shark out today, then we should just leave the reporters alone. Let them cover the riot story. They won't even think that we'd try to release the shark, especially after the riot."

  "He's got a point," said Grimshaw. For some reason, having Grimshaw on my side didn't make me feel so good.

  "Okay, you're right. We could probably take the shark now. Look how dark it is," said Burns.

  "It's only going to get darker. We'll be better off waiting until late this afternoon," I said.

  The number of reporters began to dwindle, as it got darker and darker out. Some reporters were obviously waiting to give live reports on the evening broadcasts, but we had our chance. We couldn't wait too long because we didn't know when the state would act.

  Burns backed the truck up to the Shark Pavilion. Burns had to drive because neither Grimshaw nor I knew how to operate a manual transmission, at least in any reasonable manner. When Burns climbed down from the truck, he had some second thoughts about the reporters outside. "We need a distraction," he said.

  "Why don't I go out and give a statement? I'll just go out there and make up some rambling statement," I offered.

  "No, Grimshaw can do it. I need you back here to load the shark," said Burns.

  "What am I going to say?" Asked Grimshaw.

  "Just make something up. Stall them for a while. That's all I ask. Answer all their questions. Whatever. Just keep them busy," said Burns.

  I grabbed the controls of the load lifter, which basically was the business part of a crane that was moved along a track under the ceiling of the Pavilion. I lowered the load lifter's cable and hooked up the same ten foot net we used on Monday to the hook at the end of the cable. We were going to try the same technique we used to catch the shark originally.

  The net entered the water and as soon as the shark swam past, we knew we were in trouble. In less than a week, the shark had grown substantially larger than the net. "This isn’t going to work," I said.

  "It has to work," said Burns. "We don't have time to try anything else. Just get it done." Burns had gotten some of the shark's food, which consisted of some sort of fish parts that Zaller had recommended, and threw it in the water above the net. As the shark rounded the tank and faced the food, he went for it. He slowed at the last moment. Was he concerned by the net? Did he know the prey wasn't going anywhere? Did he know we were trying to release him? I don't know. I do know that he slowed down and started eating right over the net. As soon as his head moved over the net, I started raising it. But the damn thing wasn't fast enough. As I raised the net out of the water, the massive head of the shark stuck out over the edge of the net. "So far so good," said Burns as he checked on the pump forcing water from the tank to the transport box on the back of the truck.

  "I wish we had a better hold of him," I said. "I think he's going to slide out the front there."

  "Don't worry about it. Just start moving it over here. The transport box is just about full."

  The load lifter moved painfully slowly. It had a five-ton limit so I wasn't concerned about the shark being too heavy. I was concerned about the rough ride. I never noticed how the load lifter shook when it was moving at full speed. Of course, I'd never really watched it before this week.

  We finally crossed the point of no return. The shark moved from over the water to over the back of the truck. The shark hadn't slid the whole ride. I just had to move it over the box and lower it. Then the power cut off. The lights went off and the load lifter stopped. Abruptly. Unfortunately, the momentum of the shark continued forward. The shark slid forward. "Look out!" I yelled to Burns. Burns scrambled away from the truck just as the shark plopped on the flatbed of the truck.

  We stood in silence for a moment as the shark thrashed on the back of the truck. "What the hell did we do this for?" I asked. The shark stopped moving. "It's as good as dead now. We have no way to get it off the truck." Burns climbed in the driver's side door.

  "Get in," he told me.

  "Why? It's over. The shark's dead.”

  "No he's not. Get in." I climbed in the passenger side door and Burns started the truck. "We still have time. That shark's tough."

  "Where are we going to go? The shark needs water. We don't have time to drive him to the Atlantic. He'll be dead before we get to Jersey," I said.

  "It's not like you to give up," said Burns. It was like listening to my father. Except my father wasn't nuts. "Think. There must be a way out of this."

  I looked back at the shark. I felt sorry for it now. It was a stupid animal. It didn't kill the kid because it was mean. It didn't bite Zaller's leg off because it didn't like Zaller, even though I'm sure it didn't like Zaller. Who was I kidding? I didn't give a damn about the shark. I just didn't want to go done in history as the first and only person to kill a carcharadon megalodon. It would be one of the biggest scientific boners of all time. "Head for the river," I said.

  "The Hudson? It's fresh water. The shark won't survive in there. We have to find a way to pick the shark up and get him in salt water."

  "We don't have time for that. Salt water extends up the Hudson River at least part way. I have no idea how far up. At least we'll give the shark a chance to swim to salt water. Besides, we have no idea if megalodons can live in fresh water. Bull sharks can. Maybe megalodons can too," I said.

  "Maybe you're right. We'll head over to Riverside. I've got my boat docked over there. It's only about ten minutes from here."

  "We still have to figure how to get the shark out of the truck and into the water," I said.

  "That's no problem. I'll just back the truck into the water if I have to. There's a park along the river over there. They have a ramp into the water to get boats in and out. It's open to the public. I'll just back into water."

  "Will you be able to get the truck back out?" I asked.

  "Who cares? I won't need it ever again after this trip."

  We drove over to Riverside in silence. In the rain, nobody even noticed the shark we were carrying, thank goodness. We got to the deserted park and Burns backed the truck to the ramp. "Get out and take off the railings," Burns said. I got out and climbed on the back of the truck. The shark didn't move at all. It could have been stuffed if I didn't know better. Its mouth was open in a toothy grin.

  I lifted the railings out and threw them on the ground. I jumped off the truck and Burns backed it down the ramp and into the water. The truck went into the water as far as it could but the shark was only half under water. Burns got out and stood next to me. "That's as far as it'll go," he said.

  "If only the shark was facing the back of the truck, he'd probably be able to get out," I said.

  "What if we got up there and pushed him?" Suggested Burns.

  The idea of pushing the business end of the shark didn't appeal to me. "I think
he's way to heavy for us to make any kind of difference."

  "Let's try it," said Burns and we climbed up. The shark hadn't moved since we were back at the Aquarium. "I doubt he's in any condition to bother us. We'll brace ourselves against the cab of the truck. We'll each just put one foot on his nose and push. Okay?"

  "I guess," I said. I put my left foot on the shark's snout, turned my back to the shark and started to push. The only image I had in my head was those teeth. In a flash, I felt my foot give way as the shark moved underneath it. I tried to jerk my leg out of the way, but it wouldn't move. There was no pain.

  I looked down and saw the shark's jaws were closed on the leg of my pants. Down the length of the shark, I could see the shark's tail churning in the water. The shark started moving and I tried to climb over the cab of the truck. The shark turned its head and my pants gave way. My pants split right up the crotch and the shark swam away with my left pant leg in its mouth. I was shaking as I looked down at my bare legs. "You son of a bitch!" I yelled.

  I heard Burns laughing. "It's real funny, you bastard," I said and started laughing myself. I looked ridiculous. My remaining pant leg had long since fallen down my leg and over my shoe. I kept laughing until I looked at my watch. "Oh crap!"

  "What?" Asked Burns.

  "It's 7:30 already. I've got my pre-cana meeting at 8:00. I have to be there or my wedding will not take place. My fiancé gave me an ultimatum and I think she means it. She hasn't even spoken to me in days. You gotta get me to the church," I said.

  "How?" asked Burns.

  "In the truck. I don't know how to drive it. So you gotta give me a ride."

  "The truck's not going anywhere. We can't get it out of the water. It won't run anymore. We got water in the engine or something."