Vestige of Courage

by Sara Blackard

  Beatrice ghosted through the woods, listening to the turkey raise a ruckus up ahead. She almost laughed at the frantic gurgling noise filling the forest but didn’t want to disrupt the atmosphere. She glided between the trees, making sure she didn’t brush the limbs. This was what she needed, time to ground herself. Her boots crunched in the dry leaves, and she cringed. She should’ve worn her moccasins instead of the new boots Chase had bought her.

  She peeked to the other side of a copse of aspens. In the clearing beyond, a tom strutted, his chest puffed and tail feathers fanned. She took a deep breath and pulled the bowstring slowly back. The soft creak of the tight string was the only sound she made. She inhaled slowly through her nose, making sure her aim was true.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

  Beatrice whirled, her arrow pointing at Eddie standing fifteen feet away.

  A frigid chill slid down her spine and goose bumps erupted across her skin. She’d almost just killed him. Almost just shot an innocent man. She lowered her bow, keeping the arrow nocked. How had he snuck up on her so close? The chill raced back up her spine.

  Beatrice narrowed her eyes. “Why?”

  “If you don’t have a hunting license, you’d be poaching.” Eddie took a step closer, a look of doubt on his face. “Did you pick up a license last time you were in town?”

  She shook her head, her shoulders slumping. “What are you doing out here?”

  He shrugged casually. “Not much. Just checking things, you know. Making sure fence lines and gates are still up.”

  She hadn’t seen any fences when she rode up. “Does Chase know you’re out here?”

  “Sure. Chase told me before he headed into town.” He scratched his head, pushing his hat back. “I’ve been wondering something. How did you meet Chase? I thought he just came up here a little over a year ago to look for his brother.”

  Beatrice bristled. Her senses fired that something was off about the question. She was probably just overreacting, her nerves still on alert from her nightmares. She rolled her shoulders to release her tension. She should’ve talked this through with Chase after she’d told Eddie the lie about her picture being her great-grandma. Now she’d have to tell another lie. What a slippery slope this was turning in to.

  “I’d come out to visit Vicky and met Chase.” She hoped being vague would stop any more questions.

  “Vicky was your aunt?” he pushed.

  “Great aunt.” Beatrice placed her arrow in the quiver and backed up. “Listen, Eddie. I hate to be rude, but since I can’t hunt, I might as well go back.”

  “No worries. I have more land to cover.” He smiled broadly. “Enjoy your ride back.”

  She turned toward where she left Storm. She hoped he didn’t clue in to the fact that she should already know not to hunt without a license. She glanced back. He stood in the same spot, his feet wide and his hand rubbing his chin thoughtfully. He raised his hand and headed in the opposite direction. She needed to figure out what she could and couldn’t do in this new time before she gave herself away.

  Chase pulled into the yard and parked his truck. Relief whooshed from him as he exhaled. He was glad to be home. He had missed Beatrice sitting next to him on the ride down, their hands intertwined as she tapped her thumb against the back of his hand to the beat of the music.

  His eyes were dry and his muscles felt heavy as he climbed from the truck. He slammed the door and leaned his head on the window. The last few nights had dragged long as he lay in bed with every possible outcome of this dilemma playing out in his head. His gut rolled with the fact that most of them left him with a sense of desperation that haunted him throughout the day. The doctor had promised to rush the results, so by the end of the week he would know his fate.

  He lifted his head at the sound of pounding horse feet. The tightness in his chest loosened at the sight of Beatrice leaning over the cranky horse, their two bodies moving as one across the mountain meadow. She pulled back on the reins, slowing Storm to a walk, and turned in the saddle, surveying the area from where she’d just come. His muscles tensed as he pushed from the truck and moved to intercept her. She wasn’t one to be jumpy, at least not out here on the ranch.

  Beatrice’s gaze jerked to Chase as he moved toward the corral. Her shoulders relaxed, and he breathed a sigh of relief. At least his presence eased her tension some. That was knowledge he’d store for the times his doubt about what she felt for him roared. As she trotted closer, he could see her expression more clearly. His heart rate kicked up at the tightness in her eyes and the way her lips pressed flat against each other. She pulled Storm to a stop in front of him, and he grabbed the reins, eliciting a snap at his sleeve from Storm.

  “What happened?” He was impressed with the way she lithely swung from the horse, patting the beast on the neck.

  “Nothing I couldn’t take care of.” She yanked the reins from his hands and led the horse to the barn.

  “Beatrice, come on.” He rushed after her, upset that she wasn’t willing to talk to him. “Something got you all wound up while you were out there.”

  She whirled on him. “You want to know what’s got me wound up? It’s this time and its stupid rules. It’s my freedom stripped from me.”

  He lifted his hand to stop her rant. “What happened?”

  “I ran into Eddie, and he kindly let me know I’d be thrown in jail for hunting turkey.” Beatrice’s tone was sarcastic as she turned and stomped off. “Ugh, I hate it here. There are so many rules, so many can’ts. I just … I just wish I could go home.”

  Her words faded at the end, but he heard them. They pounded alarm straight to his heart. Couldn’t she catch a break? It seemed as soon as she got her feet under her, something yanked her back off balance. His throat ached at knowing his past had tugged harder than most.

  He jogged up next to her and cleared his throat. “Listen, Beatrice. I’ll fix this. We’ll get you a hunting license, permits, everything you need to hunt. I’ll post on the wall in the office what’s legal and when. Shoot, I’ll take you all over the world to hunt, if that’s what you want to do. I know this is just one more thing that’s different, something else you’ve lost, but it doesn’t have to be lost … just adjusted.”

  She stopped and sighed. “I’m just tuckered out, Chase.” She peered up at him. The dark circles under her eyes told that her exhaustion went beyond an interrupted hunting trip. “I wasn’t born in the woods to be scared of an owl, but I feel skittish. I’m jumping at shadows, and I can’t make heads or tails of them.”

  Storm nuzzled Beatrice’s neck, eliciting a small smile from her. She hugged the horse’s head and whispered something softly to him. Chase stood there, grasping for anything to say that would make things better.

  “Come on, Storm. Let’s go get you settled,” she said, her voice scratchy and monotone.

  She plodded into the barn. The horse’s low hanging head mirrored her own as if her emotions ran up the reins and into Storm. How could Chase lift her spirits when they spent their time walking on eggshells? It wasn’t like he had the skills necessary to create hunting licenses out of thin air like Zeke. He was nothing more than a social media darling, not some top secret hero. He pulled out his phone and headed to the house, kicking a rock hard across the driveway.

  Chase grabbed his phone and pulled up Zeke’s number to give him a call, the action amplifying the hardness lodged in his gut. He had to find a way to stop running to Zeke every time Beatrice hit a wall. While Zeke was his best friend, Chase couldn’t help but think Beatrice would eventually see what Chase already knew—that Zeke was better suited for her. He could help her in ways Chase never could.

  There shouldn’t be any more reasons to need Zeke’s help, at least not right away. Yet, if Chase kept turning to Zeke, pretty soon Beatrice would go straight to the source, eliminating any need for the middle man. Whatever the cost, Chase couldn’t let that happen.

  Chapter 19

  June 2, 1891


  Dear Beatrice, Orlando brought over a puppy from the litter one of their sheep dogs just had. It’s the cutest thing, all white and fluffy like a hairy snowball. The rowdy thing hadn’t been here two days when I came into the front room to find it pulling on the bag of flour stored on a lower shelf. I thought since we hadn’t had any babies in the house, it would be safe to store things on the lower shelves again. Before I could make it to the naughty thing, he’d pulled the bag on top of him. It wouldn’t have been so bad if the bag of flour hadn’t knocked over the crock of honey in the process. Just like Chase had when he was a baby, but now fur was involved. I made the children take him out to the lake until all the honey and flour was out of his long coat. While I was cleaning the sticky mess on my kitchen floor I found Ma’s brooch I thought I had lost under the shelf. I’m not sure how it got there, but without the disaster the puppy created, I may never have found it. Just goes to show that out of bad, good can be found.

  Beatrice rocked in the chair on the front porch, sipping her coffee and wondering why she hadn’t agreed to go into town with Chase. He’d come in that morning saying he had a lunch meeting with other area ranchers and farmers and the local soil conservation district. They were discussing the recent Tour de Farms they’d held and how to make it better next year. He’d asked if she’d come and go to a movie with him when the meeting was done. The way his shoulders had slumped when she told him she would rather not still twisted her gut.

  She was plumb loco. All week Chase had gone out of his way to make her more comfortable. He’d posted the list of hunting regulations. He’d even pinned up a map of the area that showed not just the different mountain ridges and valleys, but he’d also drawn in the different areas where certain animals could be hunted. He’d obtained a license for her, she assumed through Zeke. Tuesday, she and Chase had driven into Rifle to get the documents she needed for certain species that were legal right now. She hadn’t actually gone out hunting yet, but the fact that she could released some pressure from her lungs.

  Beatrice growled and rocked a little harder. She’d wanted to go with Chase, had longed to see what it was that the area ranch owners did. His explanation of the theater had intrigued her. She could imagine sitting in the big dark room he described. He promised they’d share popcorn and candy as they watched a movie on a screen so big it was as tall as the house. But the fear of how the other ranchers would view her and Chase’s relationship had kept her home. She wondered if she hadn’t grown up in the middle of the mountains, far from most people, would she know how to act better? Would she more clearly understand relationships and what others expected?

  A loud clunking sounded through the trees. She stopped her rocking and cocked her head to the side. She sucked in a breath through clenched teeth as Samantha’s rattling vehicle came into view. What is she doing here? Beatrice stood, strode from the porch, and, with the manners her ma had drilled into her, forced a smile to her face. The vigilance her pa had demanded had her examining the threat.

  How a too-scrawny woman and a cute little girl could be threatening baffled Beatrice, but the two were. She snorted at herself. Of course she knew why Samantha was threatening. It was her flawless skin and confident air, though as Beatrice scrutinized her, she appeared wrung out, her mouth tight and her shoulders slightly dipped. Maybe Beatrice wasn’t the only one who got the little end of the horn.

  “I’m sorry, but Chase isn’t here.” Beatrice approached the two.

  Samantha’s smile wavered slightly as she glanced down at Evangeline. “Oh, okay. I should’ve called, but … well … Evangeline hasn’t stopped talking about the horses since Friday. When my boss sent me home because he over-scheduled servers, I kind of jumped on the chance to bring her up.”

  “Miss Beetice, can I please see the horsies, please?” Evangeline pressed her chubby little hands together and held them up to her lips.

  “Hmmm.” Beatrice tapped her index finger to her chin, the eagerness in Evangeline’s expression melting her hesitance. “I think we might be able to do better than just see the horses.” She paused, drawing the anticipation out. When Evangeline bounced on her toes in a little dance, Beatrice bent down to be at eye level with the darling. “What if you ride a horse?”

  Evangeline’s scream of glee almost hid the sharp inhale of breath from Samantha. Evangeline grabbed Beatrice’s hand and pulled her toward the barn. Beatrice pressed her lips flat to keep from laughing as Samantha sputtered behind her.

  “Are you sure? I think petting a horse would be just fine,” Samantha questioned as she caught up.

  “She’ll be fine. I was riding when I was knee high to a grasshopper,” Beatrice said.

  Ten minutes and a million questions later, Beatrice and Samantha leaned on the corral fence while Verne led Evangeline around on the slowest horse Beatrice had ever seen. Evangeline’s smile beamed so bright one could probably see it all the way over at Pike’s Peak. Tears burned Beatrice’s eyes at the sweet picture, and she knew she couldn’t resent Chase having a daughter as precious as Evangeline.

  Samantha cleared her throat. “Thank you for this.” Her voice cracked as she continued. “I know you have reason to hate us. I could tell on Friday how much you mean to Chase and how much of a shock this was.” Samantha took a deep, pained breath and closed her eyes. “The truth is, I was kind of desperate. I needed to leave where we were living, and Colorado seemed like a nice enough place. I wasn’t planning on contacting Chase. Evangeline and I have been doing fine on our own.”

  “Why did you then?” Beatrice asked, the vulnerability written on Samantha’s face a reflection of how Beatrice felt.

  Samantha picked at a splintered piece of wood on the railing. “After we got here, I couldn’t seem to find a job. I had enough money for our first month’s rent, some gas, and food, but when I didn’t get any calls back, I panicked.” Samantha laughed a quiet, humorless sound. “Ironic how when I finally swallowed my pride and approached Chase, I had a message waiting for me with a job offer. If I would’ve waited just a half a day longer, the two of us could’ve kept operating like we have without depending on anyone but ourselves.”

  Beatrice’s jealousy faded as she recognized a kindred soul. They may have been born over one hundred and fifty years apart, but the same independent spirit seemed to fuel them. She suddenly wished there wasn’t awkwardness between them, that she and Samantha could somehow become friends. Still a question burned in her throat and demanded to be asked.

  She turned to fully face Samantha so she could see if Samantha told the truth. “If you never intended to contact Chase, why did you move so close?”

  Samantha’s head tilted and her eyes filled with tears. “It’s silly, really. I knew I shouldn’t have acted the way I did that night of the party. I was so ashamed of taking advantage of Chase’s grief the way I did, I avoided anywhere I might see him for a week. The next weekend I heard that he had left, dropped out of school to follow his dream or whatever. I realized then what I’d done. Chase had been the only true friend I had since my mom’s death, and with him leaving school, I was suddenly alone again. A few weeks later, I ended up pregnant. My ex-boyfriend laughed in my face, told me if I was stupid enough to get pregnant, I could take care of the brat myself.”

  “So, Evangeline really might not be Chase’s?” Beatrice was suddenly sad with the prospect.

  “No, she might not.” Samantha wiped her cheek. “I moved here because I missed my best friend. He was like the brother I never had. An incredibly hot brother, but a brother just the same.” Samantha breathed in sharply, a sob shuddering on her inhale. “I was so stupid. I was heartbroken, and in my anger I ruined something special.”

  “Why’d you wait four years to tell Chase?” The questions seemed to emerge from Beatrice's mouth on their own. “If she is Chase’s, he’s going to be upset about all he’s missed of her life already.”

  “I didn’t want to ruin Chase’s life like I’d ruined our friendship. He had something good going for
him, an exciting life a baby would’ve squashed. I didn’t dare be even more selfish than I already had been. Besides, it was my stupidity that got me in this position, so I was determined to be the one who took care of it.”

  “I guess I can understand that.”

  Samantha turned to Beatrice and placed a hand on her arm. “I have no intention of having a relationship with Chase beyond friendship, Beatrice. If Evangeline is Chase’s, I hope we can come up with an arrangement that will be good for all of us.”

  Beatrice covered Samantha’s hand with her own. “I’d like that. I’d also like it if we might be able to be friends. I really only have three, and they’re all men. It’d be nice to have a friend who wasn’t.”

  Samantha’s chin quivered as she smiled. “I’d like that a lot.”

  “Mommy, look! I’m a real cowgirl,” Evangeline shouted as she whipped the reins.

  Verne’s fuzzy mustache twitched upward as he shook his head, and Blue yipped happily at the girl’s exuberance. Samantha clapped and laughed. Heat radiated from Beatrice’s chest. She might not have appreciated the intrusion this little family had created between her and Chase, but maybe their arrival was more a blessing than the curse she believed it to be.