From the corner of my eye, I watched him scan and finally land on the targets. “The strawberry one is mine.”
“Fuck you. She’s mine. I already landed her. You take the short hair blonde,” I whispered a bit louder than I intended.
“Can’t.” He said out of the corner of his mouth.
“Why not?” I tried my best not to snap my head to him, but it was hard not to. I tried to do it quickly, but I’m sure I still held a disgusted look when I faced back to the guests.
He leaned over slightly and whispered, “She’s Ricky’s sister-in-law. I’m not messing with Ricky. I fucked his sister before and he beat the shit out of me.”
I nodded, understanding the dilemma. Ricky’s a big dude and I’m sure his wife would be protective over her sister. “Then you need to find someone else because I’ve already landed strawberry.”
“What makes you think that?” Clark turned his head to me, clearly annoyed. If we’re going to start hitting on the same chicks, rooming with him might not work out as great as I thought.
“We had eye contact. We’ve been eye fucking for a while now.” Z elbowed me that I was getting too loud. I nodded and looked over at Flynn and Mel exchanging their vows. I looked back over to the guests. Damn, this is a big wedding. Aunt Claire and Flynn’s dad really got into a pissing match about who knew more people. I wonder how much this set them back. Not that it matters. I’m sure Flynn’s Dad has a shit load of his business partners and clients out there. I wiped at the sweat beading on my forehead. How long does it take to say “I do” and get the hell out of here?
“Dude, how much longer? My balls are all sweaty,” I whispered to Z out of the corner of my mouth.
Z didn’t respond. I looked over to him and noticed him eying his wife across the way. I glanced over at my sister-in-law and realized they were making eyes at each other. Damn honeymoon stage. I really think it’s lasting longer than it should. I elbowed him. “Hey asswipe, quit eye fucking your wife. How much longer is this thing?”
Z leaned over to me, “They’re almost there; the rings are almost on.”
I nodded as I watched him continue to gaze lovingly at his wife. I glanced back out to the guests searching for strawberry. She was eying me again. Nice.
Clark elbowed me, “Check out the late one trying to sneak in. Nice summer dress, tanned fit bod.”
My eyes shifted to the back row to see who he was talking about, but I was pretty sure I already knew. My heart dropped and my throat tightened immediately as I watched Stephanie and her husband quickly take their seats in the last row. Her blonde hair was short now, cut into a bob just below her chin. She had long bangs that were swept to the side making her blue eyes really stand out. It looked really good on her. Actually, anything would have looked good on her. She’s just beautiful. My palms were already sweaty from the outdoor heat, but they seemed to become more clammy. I felt sick to my stomach as my brother nudged me.
“Hey, just saw Stephanie pop in. Last row,” Z whispered to me.
“Yeah, I saw her,” I responded.
“She looks good,” Z whispered back, still looking out at her.
“Shut up,” I told him. He gave a quick head nod. He should have known better than to have even pointed her out to me. He helped me try to get over her, like I had helped him get over all his heartaches.
Clark nudged me again. “Wonder if she’s married to that dick or just dating him?”
“Married. She’s married. Keep scanning.” I felt bile rising in my throat and I fought to keep it back. I looked away, but my eyes kept flicking back to her. I kept wondering if she was looking at me and wondering if she regretted what she did to me. To us.
I took a deep breath and tried to keep it together. At this point focusing on eye fucking the strawberry was my best bet. The trouble was, my eyes and heart didn’t agree.
Stephanie looked so beautiful in that light pink sundress. Everyone else was dressed their best. Not Stephanie. As always she looked amazing in anything she wore. Fuck, she could have worn a burlap sack and still looked stunning.
Her dress reminded me of summers during high school. I used to drive both of us out to that lake just outside of town. We parked off a dirt road that no one but us knew about. She always wore a summer dress with those thin small straps. She used to say it was hot and the dress was more comfortable than the tiny shorts most girls wore. It sure helped out at the lake. She was my first and I was hers. It was supposed to be just us the rest of our lives. Until college when she decided for both of us it was over.
Finally, Mel and Flynn were announced to their guests that they were husband and wife, bringing me out of my own private hell thinking about Stephanie.
I had hoped we were allowed to get out of the sun and heat. Too bad that wasn’t the end of my duties. Wedding pictures in the hot sun sucked and by the time we were allowed to go back inside, we were all a mess. The girls ran for the bathroom to freshen up. The guys, we all took off our jackets and rolled up our sleeves as we walked up to the bar.
The dinner was amazing and everything in this room was the epitome of elegance. Izzy made a heartwarming toast that had everyone tearing up, especially when she mentioned that Mel’s parents are smiling down at her from heaven, proud of her choice of partner for life. Z, of course, made an amazing speech too, making sure to add in the necessary humor to offset his wife’s tribute that made everyone cry.
Flynn and Mel’s first dance was beautiful and just as I predicted, all stress and anxiety was gone as they glided across the room. Aunt Claire insisted they take ballroom dancing lessons since some of the older guests would appreciate it. Flynn already knew how to ballroom dance since his parents and our parents made us take classes when we were young. Our parents being best friends meant Flynn, Z and I were always forced to do the same things. Despite the fact of who made Flynn and Mel take lessons, you could tell the newlyweds enjoyed their first dance looking like they were professional dancers.
I managed to cut in after a couple of songs so I could dance with the bride. Mel looked exquisite in her wedding dress. Yes, I said exquisite. The dress had this sort of sex appeal without flashing sex. It was a dress that only Mel could pull off. The dress wrapped around her body as if she were a Greek goddess. Her shoulders were covered with this white sheer fabric with crystals all over it. Finally, she had this slit that went up half her thigh.
I was glad Mom made my brother and me take ballroom classes when we were younger. She told me it would come in handy one day. She was right because the last thing I wanted was to look like a jackass in front of all these jerks and this gorgeous bride.
“You look beautiful, Mel,” I sighed as we moved smoothly along the dance floor.
She smiled brightly up at me. “Thank you. Thanks for handling Aunt Claire last night too. What did you wind up doing with her after all? I didn’t see her after dinner.”
I chuckled and gave her a devilish grin. She smacked my shoulder and made a sickened face. “You did not ‘do’ my Aunt Claire, did you?”
I shrugged and replied, “She left you alone didn’t she? I took one for the team.”
“You’re so gross. My poor Uncle Randy,” she sighed with a slight pout.
“They’re divorced. She’s a good looking woman and pretty energetic actually,” I joked remembering how greedy and authoritative Aunt Claire was in the bedroom.
“Eww!” Mel exclaimed, laughing as she smacked my chest again.
I continued to tease her. “I think Clark will hit her up tonight just to make sure she leaves you and Flynn alone.”
“He better not!” She looked around the room to make sure Clark wasn’t hitting on Aunt Claire.
“I’m just teasing. He had his eye on your cousin at first, but I told him she was out.”
“Well, thank you. I guess. Leah has her own troubles with Aunt Claire as her mother. Poor thing. At least she’s off to college next year. Leah wanted to live with my uncle, but Aunt Claire won in the courts.
Along with a huge settlement too.” I nodded feeling sorry for Leah. I’m sure their divorce wasn’t fun at all seeing how Aunt Claire is with her niece’s wedding. I couldn’t imagine having to be her daughter, much less related to her.
Mel gave a deep sigh and pressed her lips together before she slowly spoke again. “I noticed Stephanie and her husband made it. How are you doing seeing them here?” I felt bad for her since I knew she and Flynn were put in the middle of deciding whether to invite her or not.
I shrugged and took a deep breath. “It’s no big deal. The wedding is large enough that I probably won’t run into her.” I hoped. Mel gave a faint smile as we continued to dance.
She glanced away briefly and then looked back into my eyes. “You’ll find someone else, you know.” She said with sincerity and a little bit of pity in her voice.
“I know I will. There’s a shitload of chicks in here to fuck. I better get started.” I tried to joke, giving her a faint smile. Weddings always make everyone want to match people up. I’ll stay single, thank you. It’s much easier and a lot less painful.
“Stop joking. I know you’re still hurting over her. Sometimes you just need to let go of what you had hoped for and the next person you meet could be your love for life.” I decided to let her have her say and nodded my head.
I gave a fake half smile and looked away from her eyes. I glanced across everyone dancing and swallowed before answering. “One day. Just not yet. I’m having too much fun finding that someone.”
A tap on my shoulder saved me from any further discussion on the subject. “My wife. My turn,” Flynn stated with a deep voice, trying to act bravado. It made me chuckle, but I squeezed Mel’s hand and kissed it before placing her hand into Flynn’s.
“All yours, man.” I smiled at Flynn who was basically like my second little brother. Z and Flynn were inseparable growing up. It was like I had twin little brothers. Both pains in the ass growing up and now amazing friends that I’d kill for. I couldn’t be happier for him that he and Mel found each other.
I headed up to the bar where the other guys were gathered and laughing about something. Clark handed me a beer and we turned around to scope out the guests. I was searching for strawberry to take my mind off the possibility of running into Stephanie.
I noticed Aunt Claire dancing with some older guy. He looked like he had money which I’m sure was her reason for dancing with him. She made it clear to me last night that she enjoys younger guys. I’m pretty sure that was the reason for her divorce.
Clark elbowed me and nodded his head toward the other direction. I took a quick look and clamped my teeth trying to keep my nerves in check. Unfortunately, there wasn’t a thing I could do about my heart trying to jump out of my chest. Stephanie seemed to float towards us, almost as if she were an angel. She used to be an angel in my mind. Maybe that was the problem. The pedestal I put her on was too high for her. Tumbling off was inevitable.
Clark leaned over and joked, “You don’t do married women. Let me take a stab at her.”
I gave him a sideways glare as I told him, “That’s Stephanie, my ex.”
He nodded with a smirk. “Was she good?” I knew he was teasing. We already laid down the rules about going for ex’s or girls we care more about. He already knew Kara was off limits, just like Tina was off limits for me.
I shot him my ‘shut the fuck up’ look and hit his chest. He chuckled as he turned towards the other guys to join in their conversation. I turned back, faking a laugh, more for show to Stephanie that I wasn’t affected by her presence.
She stood in front of me, her shoulders slightly slumped and her mouth pressed into a forced smile. “Do you think we could talk?” She asked in a meek voice. I tried my best not to look down at her. I focused my eyes just above her head straight across the wedding. My heart was in my throat and just being so close to her made me want to wrap my arms tightly around her. She always felt so perfect in my arms. I clenched my jaw as I tried to push away memories of how things used to be…before.
I took a deep breath and crossed my arms over my chest. I tried my best to look uninterested. I made the mistake of glancing down into her eyes. Deep ocean blue, glossed over by slight tears, staring up at me with that sweet innocent pleading look. That was the same look she had right before we made love for the first time; it was forever frozen and committed to my memory. I swallowed, pushing back the lump that formed in my throat. “Talk,” I commanded, as if I had control over this conversation. I didn’t. She holds all the power. Stephanie always did with me.
She seemed to shrink when I said that, her shoulders slouching just slightly. She swallowed and glanced away quickly and it brought back memories of how she was always so insecure and shy around confrontational situations. I used to pull her close to me and speak for her so she wouldn’t have that look. Now, that expression was on her face because of me.
“Could we…take a walk outside?” She asked, her soft pink lips were curled into a small hopeful smile. Glancing down at her lips brought back amazing memories of how sweet she tasted. I tried to shake the thought from my mind, but realized I couldn’t stop staring at her mouth.
Despite my desire to pull her into my chest, like I used to do, words came out harshly from my mouth as if I didn’t have any control over my brain. “Well shit, Stephanie, what would your husband think?” It came out with a horrible bite. I clenched my jaw, pressing my lips together regretting spitting that question out.
Stephanie tilted her head, almost in defiance as she said, “He knows I want to talk to you. It’s not what you think.”
While I felt proud of her for speaking up, something she never used to do, the last part of her statement hurt. Secretly, I had hopes that after all these years she would want me back. Hoping that after all these years she would dump him and come running back to me. It was just a silly dream I had in my head despite how badly she hurt me. Would I take her back if she asked me to right now? Probably. No, not probably. Absolutely.
She started walking. Wanting her back and wanting to know what she had to say, I followed. I watched her flowing light pink sundress sway with her hips. Her hair used to touch the middle of her back, now it was short, but still swayed like the breeze over grass.
Memories flooded my mind of when we used to park down by the lake. Just the two of us and an old beach towel. We would sit on the edge of the lake under a huge oak tree. It was our own private spot and no one ever knew about it. We would pack a small picnic, but half the time we didn’t eat any of it. Skinny dipping became a part of our routine after we made love. I’m pretty sure we both conveniently forgot our suits most of the time.
She stopped just outside the door and turned her gaze up to my face. I watched her swallow nervously and noticed she was wringing her hands. She was uneasy and tense. When I was her boyfriend, I always knew her signals and acted on them. My protective instinct of keeping her from feeling that way always led to me wrapping my arms around her, followed by a kiss on the top of her head. It used to calm her immediately. Right now, I fought against that instinct with everything I had.
“I just wanted to talk to you. We haven’t seen each other or spoken since we broke up.” Her voice quiet and sweet and yet it still hurt, bringing up the last time I saw her.
“Since you broke up with me.” I snapped at her, feeling anger run through my veins about our breakup.
She shifted her weight nervously, but suddenly pulled her shoulders back. Her eyes bore into mine as she sharply retorted, “No, actually, I was…I was going to break up with Stan. You flew off the handle instead of letting me explain.” Tears started to well up in her eyes and she turned her head quickly, shutting her eyes to make the tears fall. She brushed them away quickly.
As much as her statement shocked me, I couldn’t help but point out the obvious. “What did you want me to do Stephanie? You were dating both of us at the same time. Did you really think I wouldn’t get pissed off?” The anger in my voice increased with every wo
rd I said. Yet, as angry as I spoke the words, I had this nagging feeling; regretting each word.
She had wanted to choose me.
She wanted me.
“I just needed some time to…”
“To break up with me. Got it. You made your point. What do you want from me right now Stephanie?” I interrupted her on purpose because just being near her again was difficult. If she wants me back, she needs to fight for me because dammit, I want her back. I want her to want me. Snapping at her was my only defense to keep from being hurt further.
“Forgiveness. I was young and stupid. I…should have never started another relationship with Stan when I was with you. I just wanted to say I’m sorry, that’s all.”
After all these years, now, here at Flynn and Mel’s wedding she chooses to apologize. There were so many other opportunities over the years to do that. I shrugged as I asked, “What does it matter now? You’re married and have a kid.”
She looked hurt when I mentioned her marriage and their child. “It matters to me. I hurt you and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Her voice was full of sympathy as I watched her swallow while staring up at me.
I looked away unsure of what to say or do. For some reason, I still didn’t want to forgive her. I didn’t want to let her in again. I had pushed away these feeling for so very long, I was afraid the dam would break. Not here. Not now. Not ever.
She nodded her head, probably understanding the dilemma going on in my head. “If it’s easier to hate me, Matt. I understand. Mom told me that you’re…dating a lot. I had just hoped by now you found someone you were meant to be with.”
My eyes snapped to hers and I felt that dam inside of me starting to spill over. “I was meant to be with you, but you fucked that up.” I clenched my teeth to keep in any other words that might come out.
She nodded quickly and swallowed. “I did. I screwed up.” Her eyes were flowing now with tears as she whispered, “I’m sorry, Matt. I’m so sorry.”
I paused and stared deep into her ocean blue eyes with everything I had while grinding my jaw nervously, afraid to ask what I wanted to ask. Afraid that if I asked her this question I wouldn’t get the answer I wanted. I swallowed hard before asking, “Do you want me back Stephanie, is this why we’re out here?” I hoped to God I didn’t sound like I was begging.
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