Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  5

  Morning light crept through the bedroom window as Tom’s hoarse coughing woke Francesca up. His cough was harsh and he sounded as if he was choking on something. She pulled the duvet over her eyes to try to hide herself from the morning light. Tom could still be heard spluttering as he passed her bedroom. He sounded like an old man who had smoked a hundred cigs a day all his life.

  Francesca lay awake unable to fall back to sleep. She looked round the bedroom and knew that as soon as she got any money she’d decorate it to her own taste. The wardrobe door was hanging off and nothing but a small hinge kept it in place. She thought about painting the wardrobe a soft pastel colour, as the pine effect had lost its glow many years before. The whole room needed a revamp and she put it on her ‘to do’ list as soon as she got any cash. Francesca slid her hands onto her stomach and stroked the life growing inside her. Even though it was early days she could notice a big change in her waist size. Her breasts had doubled in size and they felt incredibly tender. It felt so strange having something growing inside her. Half of her was happy and the other half felt sadness because without the baby, Gordon would still love her the way he used too. She had mixed feelings about him. Did he really want the baby, or was he just keeping her sweet so she would come and visit him. Time would tell, she thought. She decided there and then if she saw any signs of him not wanting the baby she would leave him to rot in jail and try to be as far away as possible when he was released.

  Francesca felt her bladder ready to burst and made her way to the toilet. The smell inside it was still bad but not as bad as the day before. Sitting on the toilet she thought she would never stop pissing. It went on and on forever and just when she thought it was over another trickle would start again. The smell of toast made her feel hungry and she could have eaten a horse the way she felt. As she walked past the kitchen Tom smiled and told her to sit down telling her he would make her breakfast. Making her way into the front room, she opened the balcony door and let the fresh air circle throughout the flat. Francesca turned on the television and pulled her legs up to her chest as she plonked onto the chair. She yanked her t-shirt over her knees to keep warm. As she listened, she could hear Tom stirring the cups of tea from the kitchen and felt quite happy someone was making her breakfast for a change. Gordon had never done anything like that for her and would usually kick her out of bed each morning to make his breakfast, so this was a nice treat for her.

  Tom walked in carrying two brews in one hand and a plate of toast in the other, you could tell he was struggling as his steps quickened.

  “Fucking hell quick, grab hold of the brews. They’re burning my fucking fingers.” Francesca laughed as she sat up and tried to help release the cups from his grip. As he bent down to the small table their eyes met and he smiled as she took the cups from his hand. Tom placed the toast on the middle of the table and told her to help herself. The pile of toast was massive and at least seven pieces made up the tower. She smiled as she took a piece. The butter was dripping from it and it was still hot as she bit in to it.

  “Fuckin hell watch ya fingers greedy bollocks.” Tom laughed as he watched her eat as if she’d been starved of food for days.

  “I’m starving, can’t you tell?” she sniggered. “It’s this baby making me hungry all the time. Imagine what I’ll be like in a few months. You’ll have to put a bolt on the fridge to keep me out of it.” Tom agreed and folded his toast in half before he shoved the lot into his mouth leaving him unable to speak for a minute. The television was low and Francesca was struggling to hear what it was saying. She looked for the remote and spotted it on the settee next to Tom. Without thinking, she bent over Tom and tried to reach it. Tom seized his opportunity for a bit of fun and grabbed her, tickling her wildly. She eventually fell across his lap and screamed for him to stop. Her laughter filled the room and she shook as she tried to free herself from his grip. The laughing only stopped when Jade entered the room with a look that could kill.

  “What’s fucking going on here then? You two have just woke me up, ya daft twats.” Her face was red with anger and she never took her eyes off Francesca as she watched her return to her seat trying to straighten her t-shirt. Tom reached for his tobacco and avoided eye contact with Jade as he spoke.

  “Fucking hell we’re only have a bit of a laugh ya miserable fucker.” Jade screwed up her face as she responded instantly.

  “When was the last time you done something like that to me, or am I too fuckin fat for a bit of fun?” Tom giggled as he tried to make light of the matter knowing she’d seen her arse.

  “Ay, I hope you’re not getting jealous. Ya know I love you. It was only a bit of fun and if that’s what you want.” He now reached for Jade and tickled her trying to make her laugh but she remained stern and pushed his hands away from her. He looked at her and could see she was still upset and a full-blown argument started.

  “See, I try and have some fun with you, but you’re a miserable cunt”, Tom began, “you need to loosen up and chill out. To tell ya the truth I’m getting pissed off with your mood swings. One minute you’re all right and the next you’re in a world of your own. So you better sort it out, otherwise you can fuck off.”

  “I’m fuckin miserable because you sit on ya arse all day leaving me to go out grafting for your fucking drugs,” Jade screamed as she thrust her finger into his face with tears in her eyes, “I must be a right nobhead putting up with you. Let’s see where you’ll get your drugs from when I’m gone.” She made her way to the bedroom and slammed the door behind her as she left. Tom knew she was right and had to think quickly before she left. He quickly stood up, looked at Francesca, and turned his eyes towards the ceiling.

  “Fucking women! I better go and see if she’s all right. She gets like this sometimes and she blames it on missing her kids but I just think she’s just a moody fucker. Oh well, best see if she’ll forgive me hadn’t I?” Tom tried to break a smile as he left and closed the door behind him so Francesca couldn’t hear his quest for forgiveness.

  As he entered the bedroom, Jade was slumped on the bed with her face hidden from him. He could hear her sobbing into the pillow. This was something Tom was used to and knew exactly what he’d have to do to bring her round. He sat on the bed next to her and stroked the side of her head as she tried to shrug him off.

  “Jade. Ya know I love ya. You’re my special girl and I don’t want ya to leave me. It was only a bit of fun. Francesca was down in the dumps and I was just trying to cheer her up. Fucking hell, it’s my brother’s bird and she’s pregnant. She means nothing to me, she’s not a patch on you.” Jade rolled over and her face was wet with tears. Her lips quivered as she started to speak.

  “Do ya fancy her? Because if you do. I’ll leave right now. I know I’m a big fat twat, so I don’t blame ya if ya do. I just don’t want it thrown in my face.” Tom reached for her, and pulled her close as he kissed her forehead. He knew he would have to creep and make her feel special if she was going to stay, so he began to speak with softness in his voice.

  “Jade, how could I not love you? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You look after me and no one will ever take your place.” Her eyes lit up and she looked at him wanting him to continue. “I know it’s been hard for you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through. Your kids will come and find you as soon as they’re old enough and then you can tell them how much you love them.” She put her head into Tom’s chest and held him close. At that moment, Tom knew he had won her round and his panic stopped. “Come on love, I’ve made some toast, and I’ll do ya a nice brew to go with it if ya want.” He quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her from the bed and led her to the front room like a scolded child.

  Tom went straight into the kitchen and she returned to the front room. When she entered, she looked at Francesca and felt quite embarrassed about her behaviour. Francesca passed her a cig and that helped break the atmosphere. Francesca lit her cig and passed the lighter to Jade. As she wat
ched her light it she began to talk, hoping she wasn’t still in a mood with her.

  “Sorry about before Jade, but it was only a bit of a laugh. If ya want me to leave, I will ya know.” Jade felt rather stupid at what had happened, and tried to make a joke out of the matter.

  “Oh don’t worry about it. He always gets a bit cocky in front of people but he’s apologised now and told me how much he loves me.” Jade watched her face as she continued to tell her exactly what Tom had said in the bedroom. She knew that this was her way of telling Francesca to keep her hands off. She also knew that in the future she would have to watch her every move because she could sense the attraction between them and thought that it would only be a matter of time before Francesca tried to get her claws in her man. Jade was ready for whatever she had up her sleeve and once Francesca made her move she would land on her like a ton of bricks.

  Tom walked back into the front room smiling as he carried a cup of tea. As Jade turned her head to place the drink on the table Tom stuck two fingers up behind her back causing Francesca to smile from cheek to cheek. The conversation started again when he sat down and they began to plan the day ahead.

  “Right we need some cash today ladies, so who’s up for doing a few runs on Conran Street market. There’s a few new stallholders on there who don’t know me so it should be quite easy to do a graft.” Tom had been a well-known thief on the market and he’d got quite friendly with a few stallholders. It was funny because they all made deals with Tom, that if he kept away from their stalls, they would tell him who the new people were on the market and he’d be able to clear them out within minutes without them even noticing. Jade slowly sipped her drink and threw her legs onto the settee across Tom.

  “I’m gonna take Francesca out with me today and show her the ropes. She’s a fresh face and she will take the heat off me once I’ve put my disguise on and that.” Jade had been arrested many times before and all the shops knew her face well. She had many disguises and wigs that she would put on to go out shoplifting and even Tom didn’t recognise her when she had her stuff on. Francesca felt them both looking at her waiting for a reaction. She fidgeted around on the chair pretending she was looking for a hair clip and hoped they’d leave her alone, but she knew by their faces the conversation hadn’t finished there. Jade asked the question again and she felt pressured to answer.

  “Me! Shoplifting? Behave! I’d be so on top. My face would give me away, straight away, you’re better off on ya own.” Jade scowled at her and knew she had to work her magic. Shoplifting was getting harder day by day and she desperately needed to raise the cash for the drugs she would soon crave.

  “Listen love you’ll be fine. You’re gonna need all the cash you can to buy things for the baby aren’t ya? Trust me you’ll be okay. We’ll only hit a few shops today I promise ya. We’ll be back before ya know it.” Francesca agreed but her nerves shook at the thought of what lay ahead. She knew Jade was right as she didn’t have a pot to piss in and she needed money desperately. Tom checked the clock on top of the television and stretched his bony body.

  “Have you booked a visit for our kid yet? Bet he’s going mad waiting to see ya?” Francesca smiled and told him she would book a visit for the following day. Gordon was the last thing on her mind now and the task of shoplifting scared the shit out of her. As they planned the day ahead, she felt physically sick and dreaded the part she had to play. Everyone finished their brews and started to get ready. When Francesca first saw Jade in her disguise, she started pissing herself laughing.

  “Fuckin hell Jade you look like a transvestite.” She held her belly and laughed as Jade walked to the mirror.

  “I don’t look that bad. I think I look quite respectable. Anyway if it keeps the security off my back, who gives a fuck.” Jade was wearing a jet-black wig that was shoulder length, and a pair of gold-rimmed glasses. The dress she was wearing looked like a maternity dress. The pattern made her look like a beached whale and twice the size of her original shape. Francesca wiped her eyes through laughing and tried to keep a straight face as she spoke.

  “You look fine. I was only joking and like you said if nobody recognizes you, who gives a fuck what you look like.” Francesca walked to the bathroom to comb her hair but she was still laughing inside knowing how much of a twat Jade really looked. As she combed her hair she could hear Tom laughing as well, she could tell by Jade’s tone that she was getting quite upset. As she left the bathroom, Tom grinned at her and began to speak.

  “She looks a right cunt doesn’t t she .I’ve told her to leave them on for bed tonight as a bit of spice up for our sex life but I don’t think she’s having any of it.” Jade now came behind him and squeezed his bollocks as hard as she could until he screamed with pain.

  “Listen fuck face, does it matter what I look like as long as I’m earning. You should count ya self lucky that I’m not sat in here all day dossing, because that’s what I can do if you carry on taking the piss out of me.” She released his nuts and grabbed her coat from the table looking like she could kill someone.

  “Come on love, let’s get out of this shit hole and earn a crust. I’ll see you later nobhead, that’s if I can be arsed coming back.” Tom ignored her and rubbed his nuts as he followed them both to the door.

  “Right, let’s see what today brings then. Good luck and Francesca don’t forget to phone a visit for our kid.” Tom headed down the flight of stairs as the girls waited for the lift and you could tell Jade was in no mood for talking.

  The lift stunk of piss as usual. As the door closed, the stench hit the back of their throats and they both covered their mouths to avoid inhaling it. Once the doors opened, they both gasped for air and quickly made their way to the exit. As the fresh morning air hit them, Jade started to speak.

  “He does my fuckin head in, him. He knows how it makes me feel when he takes the piss out of me. He never learns” Francesca nodded in agreement and sided with Jade to keep the peace.

  “That’s men for ya. I think they’re from a different planet to women, don’t you?” Jade made no reply and waited at the bus stop looking down the road for any signs of a bus approaching.

  “Fuckin buses take forever don’t they, especially when you’re in a rush.” Francesca watched Jade as she paced up and down and signs of her roasting started to appear. Jade needed a fix and she seemed to change within minutes.

  “Fucking hell. Come on let’s start walking, it’s only about ten minutes away.”

  Jade set off like a speed walker as they crossed the road to head for Harpurhey shopping centre. She was shaking and she wrapped her coat around her trying to comfort her body’s craving for smack. Not a word was spoken until the shops were in sight and that’s when she told Francesca for the first time what she expected from her.

  “Right we need to be in and out of here as quick as possible. I don’t want to be fucking about for ages. All I need you to do is, bend over me when I’m shoving the stuff in my bag. Are ya okay with that?” Francesca nodded but felt like her arse was going to fall out. It was too late to bottle out now and she knew she would have to see it through.

  The shop was quite crowded as they walked in and the checkout girls were serving customers. Jade walked straight up to a row of jeans and gave Francesca the look to bend over her. She quickly rolled them together and placed them in a large bag she’d brought with her. Within seconds, the jeans were in the bag and you could see the top of the coat hanger sticking out. She quickly took her coat off and threw it across the top of the bag and nobody could see what was inside.

  “Right let’s get the fuck out of here before we get clocked.” Francesca didn’t speak a word and followed her like a lost sheep. The walk out of the door seemed to last forever and Francesca’s feet didn’t seem as if they were moving forward. The assistant was still dealing with a customer and didn’t even raise her head as they left. Once outside Jade hurried to the toilets in the local super store and checked exactly what they’d got.

 
; “Fucking six pair of jeans that’s not bad for a morning’s work is it? Right we need to get these sold so we can carry on.” Jade thought for a minute and knew exactly where she was going to sell the jeans. There was a lady she knew who lived on a council estate on Kesteven Road in Harpurhey who bought almost anything and always gave her a good price for whatever she bought, so they quickly headed down Rochdale Road. Jade was near enough running as they headed to the woman’s house. She seemed to have one thing and one thing only on her mind as she dodged the cars to cross the road. How sad it must be, Francesca thought, that she had to go out every day and steal to fund her habit. Francesca had dabbled in drugs before, but nothing as strong as smack. She’d sniffed cocaine in the past but now Gordon was away in prison she could never afford it on her own. Reaching the house where the buyer lived, Jade knocked on the door and started to pull the jeans from the bag. The house looked quite posh and there was a smell of Dettol coming from the doorstep. Jade knocked again and lifted the letterbox to shout the woman, but as she did the door opened and an attractive blonde woman stood in front of them.

  “Fuckin hell I shit myself then “Jade laughed as the woman cast her eyes over Francesca.

  “Got some smart jeans if ya interested Irene? I’ve got six pairs and I only want a tenner a pair.” Irene invited them in and they stood round the kitchen table as she examined the goods. Francesca looked round the house and loved the whole set up of it. It reminded her so much of her own auntie’s house. Everything was neatly placed and the smell of vanilla seeped through the air. Irene felt a little uneasy as she didn’t know Francesca and didn’t wait a moment longer to find out who she was.