After going into a crying fit I closed out my internet box, leaving only his email left open. When I saw the name of the last sender my heart jumped. It didn’t take me but a second to click on it and see what it was about.
I think after the first sentence my mouth hung open. He’d taken everything and turned it around on me, making me seem like a liar. I got up and ran to the bathroom vomiting out the little amount of food I’d consumed. While I lingered there on the bathroom floor I cried out for God to help me through this, because without Ethan I’d have no one else I could trust. Sure, my parents were wonderful, but they only saw one way out of all this, and I wasn’t ready to let that be my only option.
Feeling discontent, I dialed Ethan’s number, prepared to do whatever it took to plead my case. Yes, I’d gone against our stupid little pact that we’d made years ago, but it wasn’t like he hadn’t been with a slew of women. He knew how I felt about him and went about flaunting his perversions to me every chance he got. He’s lucky I stuck around and tolerated it, because many other women in my situation would have wised up and moved on.
After it rang several times his voicemail picked up. I knew for a fact that he never listened to his messages, so I hung up and redialed the number. I continued repeating those steps until he finally answered the call, out of breath. “What?”
“I know why you left, Ethan. I saw the video and I can explain. I swear I can. Please just hear me out before you make any assumptions.”
“Like what, Chris? Like assuming that you weren’t really attacked at all? I can’t stop seein’ you with your lips wrapping around his -.”
“Stop it! Please don’t even talk about it.”
“Why? It looked like you were pretty into it. It’s why I’m havin’ trouble believin’ that a few hours later you were raped. Tell me how that works. Do you agree to give oral, but not ass?”
His words hurt me. “Why is it such a big deal to you? We made that pact years ago. It’s not like you want to be with me anyway. You’ve done nothin’ but tell me we’re just friends.”
“Don’t you dare change the subject.” He wanted explanations that I wasn’t willing to think about. I had no excuse for why I did that to Seth. I also couldn’t explain how in just a little amount of time I’d changed my mind about him completely. The man that picked me up and took me to that abandoned house wasn’t the same person I’d been intimate with. He was intoxicated, and had become violent.
“Well, don’t you dare walk out on me when I need you the most.”
“I’m hangin’ up now. Maybe I need some time to unwind before I come home. It’s best that I calm down so I won’t say somethin’ I could regret later. Right now I feel like I can’t trust you, and to be honest, it fuckin’ hurts. I always thought that pact meant somethin’. It was put into place for a reason.”
All of a sudden I heard a female talking to him in the background. “Who’s that?”
“She’s a friend, which is more than I can say for you at the moment.” It stabbed me right through my heart. Never in my life had I ever felt so broken. This was the man I loved, and I’d pushed him into another woman’s arms. If my life wasn’t over before, it certainly was now.
“Ethan, please don’t hang up. I need you.”
The line went dead, and I was left to suffer the consequences of yet another poor decision. Ethan was so angry with me, and I wasn’t used to that. He’d always been my rock. The idea of him not trusting me was almost as serious as everything else I was going through.
My crying fit was short-lived. A knock on the door startled me, sending me to peek out the tiny peep hole. Seeing my parents standing on the opposite side of the door made me nauseous. There was no way out of this. I had to go with them, and seek assistance, because my best friend wanted nothing to do with me.
When I opened the door I didn’t speak. There were no words I could say to make this any less awkward. I’d run away like a child, and now I’d been caught. “Where’s Ethan?”
“He had to run out.” As much as I wanted him by my side, I couldn’t tell my father where he’d really gone. My parents always assumed that he was it for me. In my eyes they were right, even when Ethan only wanted to be my friend.
“Get your things. We’re goin’ home.” My dad ordered.
“I don’t have much, dad. My roommates destroyed it the other day when this all came out. Nobody believes me.” I watched my dad clenching his jaw. It was obvious that he was pissed at this new information. He picked up his phone and was immediately connected to the nine-one-one operator. “Yeah, I need an officer to come to a residence so that my daughter can retrieve some personal items.”
He waited for a moment and then gave the address to the house I’d been living at for a short time. My mother hugged me, probably seeing that I was ready to jump out of a window and call it the end.
Five minutes later we were heading to the house, and with the little amount of talking my dad did in the car I knew he was about to go off the deep end.
Once we pulled up at the residence I was ordered to stay in the vehicle. My parents walked up to the arriving officer and they all went inside together. A few minutes later I spotted Becca walking outside on the front porch. I tried to duck down on the backseat to prevent her from spotting me, but it was too late. I saw her heading in my direction and she looked pissed.
She knocked on the window. “You had to get your parents involved? Bitch, you barked up the wrong tree. You’re lucky I don’t bust in there and beat your ass. Why don’t you get out and face me?”
“I’m not afraid of you, Becca.”
She opened her arms wide. “Come on, slut.”
“I’m not a slut!” I yelled from the other side of the glass.
“You’re just a liar. We’ve all seen the video. He showed everyone. You blew him in the movie theater, in public. There’s no way he raped you. He said he rejected you, and you got pissed.”
“He’s lyin’! I swear it. He took me to that abandoned house and forced himself on me. I begged him to stop.”
She shooed my comment away. “Just get your shit and leave us all alone. I should have known you were nothin’ but trouble.”
Before I could say anything another officer pulled up. He walked inside of the house, coming back out with my parents, who had their hands full of my belongings. I sat quietly in the car, stewing on Becca’s threats. She didn’t have to threaten me to leave campus, because it was the last place I ever wanted to visit again. Without the support from Ethan I was left to go through this alone. My parents would do as much as they could, but they’d never understand what it felt like to be lost.
Right before they climbed into the vehicle I heard Becca getting loud. She was up in my mother’s face, pointing at me. “She’s trouble. You ought to lock her up and throw away the key. That girl tried to take down my friend.” She pulled out her phone, and before I could react I saw my mom’s eyes widening. She covered her mouth with her hand and froze. “You still think she’s the victim?” Becca asked.
I jumped from my seat, running over toward them, but my dad stopped me. “I don’t know what this is about, but we’re leavin’ right now!”
I didn’t fight as he led me back to the car. There was no use. The damage was irrefutable. My mother couldn’t look at me as she joined us, and I knew why. She’d just seen my lips around my rapist’s cock.
I buried my head between my knees and cried the whole way home, feeling like there was no way they’d ever believe my version of the story again. I knew they’d protect me, but seeing their disappointment would literally kill me. Death had to feel better than this fate. As I considered that option I knew I’d given up hope.
The time of me wanting to fit in; to be popular and loved, was over. I didn’t deserve this result however it was exactly what I’d been left with. I was nothing, a loner who’d lost her faith in everything positive. Though I knew I didn’t deserve it, I’d been labeled as an outcast; who’d live out the rest
of my days in solitude, because I’d rather be alone than face what else the world had in store for me.
Chapter 24
Ethan
Star knew what I wanted from the moment I hung up from my call. She’d unlocked her door anticipating my visit, and as I approached it, I knew she’d be able to settle me down, at least for the time being.
There was just one problem with that plan.
I wasn’t hoping to stop stressing about an exam, or something mundane in life that annoyed me. I was trying to forget about Christian; the woman I’d purposely pushed away because our timing was off. I’d been a fool to think that statistics should factor into my feelings for her. What kind of idiot prolongs being with someone because there’s a chance that it might last longer?
I did.
Yes, it was true that I was angry with her. A part of me wanted to ream her out for what she’d done. There was another part of me that remembered the events of the past week. Knowing her like I did, it was impossible to assume she’d been lying. Christian may have been highly intelligent, but she was a terrible actor, and horrible at lying, especially to me. I didn’t know every single detail of what led to her attack, but it had happened. I’d witnessed her break down right in front of me. I’d seen her react to being back at that abandoned house. I watched her fall apart during the group session. It wasn’t something she could fake. Her actions were heartfelt, painful to watch in fact. There was no way in hell she could make that up.
Star pulled me inside of her apartment and I immediately regretted being there. Her naked body pressed against me while her lips found mine. I closed my eyes and tried to respond to her initiation, but it was impossible. I’d abandoned my best friend, and it was crucial that I go back there and console her.
My mind went into a whirl as Star reached down my pants, gently caressing my limp dick. Within seconds I’d become hard, needing a release I knew I wasn’t going to get if I went home.
She tugged down my jeans, eagerly taking my cock between her lips. My head fell back while I persuaded myself to go along with it. The pact had been broken. Her doing this was now allowed, and I wasn’t about to stop her, besides, it felt better than I could have imagined. She hungrily lapped up my cock, savoring it in her mouth while sucking vigorously. In no time at all I was ready to explode down her throat. She’d satisfy me like she always did, which in turn made me come back for more.
Just as I was about to finish I heard my phone ringing. I ignored it, hoping to find closure with my current predicament, but it just kept blowing up. Finally I pushed Star off of me and answered, annoyed. “What?”
“I know why you left, Ethan. I saw the video and I can explain. I swear I can. Please just hear me out before you make any assumptions.” The last thing I wanted to talk about at the moment was her giving someone else head. It bothered me so much that I felt the need to get a few things off my chest.
“Like what, Chris? Like assuming that you weren’t really attacked at all? I can’t stop seein’ you with your lips wrapping around his -.” She didn’t let me finish. I saw Star backing up, wiping off her mouth. I knew the moment was over, even as I stood fully erect.
“Stop it! Please don’t even talk about it.” It was funny how disgusted she sounded, when all I wanted to do was kill the fucker, and gouge out my own eyes.
“Why? It looked like you were pretty into it. It’s why I’m havin’ trouble believin’ that a few hours later you were raped. Tell me how that works. Do you agree to give oral, but not ass?” I regretted saying it, more than she’d ever know, but I was destroyed by those actions, so much that I was lashing out.
“Why is it such a big deal to you? We made that pact years ago. It’s not like you want to be with me anyway. You’ve done nothin’ but tell me we’re just friends.”
Another kick to the balls, but she was right. We could have been together, and none of this would be happening. I’d been blaming myself for days. Reminding me of it wouldn’t change anything. “Don’t you dare change the subject.”
“Well, don’t you dare walk out on me when I need you the most.”
“I’m hangin’ up now. Maybe I need some time to unwind before I come home. It’s best that I calm down so I won’t say somethin’ I could regret later. Right now I feel like I can’t trust you, and to be honest, it fuckin’ hurts. I always thought that pact meant somethin’. It was put into place for a reason.”
Star said something to me, not that I was even paying attention. The next thing I know Chris is asking questions on the other end of the call. “Who’s that?”
“She’s a friend, which is more than I can say for you at the moment.” Those words left a bad taste in my mouth.
Insert foot!
“Ethan, please don’t hang up. I need you.”
I had to end the call. It took everything in me not to throw the device across the room. She had me so messed up. I looked toward the naked female waiting for me to reply to her question, still not knowing what the hell she’d asked. “I need to go.”
“You just got here,” she argued.
“Look, I’m sorry I wasted your time. I’ve got shit goin’ on that I can’t really explain.”
She walked over as I was pulling up my pants. “You could come back later. We can finish what we started.”
I leaned forward and kissed her on the head, immediately feeling the connection that I’d always had to Chris. I needed to find her and apologize. She needed to know that I didn’t mean those things I’d said to her. I had to prove to her that she’d never be alone.
I raced back to my apartment, the whole time practicing what I’d say to her. I had it all planned out in my head, down to sentence structure. It was time for me to convince her that she was so much more than a friend to me. I needed not only to apologize for leaving, but for what I’d done with all of the other women. All of the cards had to be laid out on the table. No more lies.
As soon as I pulled up I noticed the lights were all turned out. I walked up the stairs to my level and unlocked the door. Once I’d traveled to my bedroom I discovered she wasn’t there. I called for her, looking on the balcony to see if she was outside. There was no note, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out where she’d gone.
As fast as I could make it, I drove to the abandoned house. When she wasn’t there I headed over to her house. The police were pulling away. One of the girls was still outside, so I sauntered over to see if she’d seen Christian.
“You just missed her,” she said before I could ask.
“Do you know where she went?”
“Look, I don’t know what you are to her, but you should just walk away from that hot-mess. She’s trouble.”
“She’s my best friend, who was raped by your friend. Listen here you little bitch, my friend wouldn’t lie about what happened to her. You better check yourself, because once her family is done with that bastard, you’ll be visitin’ him in jail.”
I turned around, ignoring her slew of comments as I climbed back in my car.
My next stop was to the location that the last meeting had been, but the parking lot was dark and vacant. After beating on my steering wheel a half-dozen times I came to the conclusion that she didn’t want to be found. Even though we’d fought, a part of me worried that she might be in danger, especially after she’d been back to her old house.
I hated doing it, but I called her parents, hoping they could help me find her before something else happened. She was going to hate me even worse than she already did, but at least I’d know she was okay. I’d been an ass, and probably didn’t deserve her. I knew she’d push me away, but it wouldn’t stop me from trying. I’d keep at it, somehow proving that I’d be the man she needed me to be.
When her dad answered I swallowed my pride and prepared to tell him that I’d messed up and let her out of my sight. He’d go off on me, probably forbidding me to see her once we figured out where she’d gone.
“Mr. Mitchell, this is Ethan. I was wonder
in’ if you’ve heard from Christian?”
“Yes, I have. We picked her up earlier, and I’m glad we did. It seems you left her all alone.”
“I can explain.” Really I couldn’t. Her dad didn’t want to hear that I’d been jealous and left to get a piece of ass to make me feel better.
“Now’s not the time, Ethan. We’re in the process of gettin’ Chris admitted for evaluation. She won’t be able to have visitors until tomorrow since it’s so late.”
“Thanks for lettin’ me know.”
After we’d hung up I finally sat down and tried to think about everything going on. If Chris was at the hospital she had to be petrified. This was exactly what she didn’t want to happen.
Against my better judgment I felt like I needed to do something to help the cause. Her parents were going to go after Seth, and nobody wanted him to suffer more than I did, except for Chris. She most likely wanted him skinned and hung for his assault on her. After obtaining my laptop off the table, I opened my email and stared at his message.
Then I replied.
Seth,
I’d like to hear your side of the story face to face. Meet me at the library at ten p.m. so we can work this out.
Ethan
There was nothing to discuss. I wanted the fucker to pay for what he’d done, and I’d make sure he got what was coming, even if I had to use my fists to get the job done.
Chapter 25
Christian
The white walls matched the floor. I didn’t know if that bothered me more, or what they had me wearing. Even in the hospital bed I was annoyed by the hospital gown being open in the back.
My parents sat next to each other beside the bed. During the ride they’d asked for details, which I wasn’t willing to pervade them to. Some things were better left unsaid, and in this case my sexual experiences, both good and horrible, were off limits.
Christian Mitchell Page 15