“Probably always have been,” Lori said softly, voicing her feelings for the first time, panicked by her admission and its implications.
“Are you sure it’s not just because he’s Adam’s father?” Jane paused for a moment, as if searching for the right words. “And you’re not martyring yourself to provide Adam with a stable home?”
Lori shook her head. “Adam already has a stable home. Sure, it’d be great for him to have a father permanently around but I’m doing this for me, not Adam.”
“Good.” Jane jumped up and dragged Lori out of her seat. “That’s the first selfish thing I’ve ever heard you say and it’s time you acted on it.”
Despite her misgivings, Lori could rarely resist when her friend was in this mood. Jane’s enthusiasm was infectious.
“What did you have in mind?”
Jane snapped her fingers, her grin positively evil. “You’ll see.”
* * *
Flynn leaned back in his office chair and propped his feet on the desk.
What a day.
Though starting up a training school had always been a dream of his, he hadn’t anticipated the multiple problems that had him pushing papers rather than doing the hands-on teaching that he’d envisioned.
And now this.
He didn’t want to go to Sydney, no matter how briefly, but the problem with equipment couldn’t be solved over the phone and he’d be damned if his recruits lacked the basics in gun handling due to some bureaucrat’s bungle.
Time away from Melbourne meant time away from his son.
And time away from Lori, though he quickly pushed that thought aside.
Ever since his weak moment at the Lookout, he’d avoided any situation that would place them at risk of giving in to the sizzling attraction between them. It would’ve been so easy to give into temptation that night and satisfy the hunger for her that just wouldn’t quit. Instead, he’d exercised the self-control he rigorously demanded of his recruits and taken daily cold showers since.
No matter how often he tried to ignore his feelings for her, it didn’t work. How could it, when she was in his face every day?
Through no fault of her own, of course, but he couldn’t help but bump into her when he spent quality time with Adam on a daily basis. Every night when he dropped his son off she’d be there, standing on the front porch looking like a vision, tearing at his resistance until he wanted to hold his hands up and yell I surrender.
Instead, he made inane, polite small talk before escaping to the sanctity of the house he’d rented, preferring to wallow in solitude rather than make a mess of things.
When the time was right, he’d discuss his plans with her but not before. There was too much at stake this time around.
“Excuse me, soldier. Got a minute?”
Flynn sat up so fast his head spun. And it didn’t stop spinning once he laid eyes on Lori.
“What the hell are you wearing?” He managed to say, taking in her khaki camouflage pants and matching shirt in an all-encompassing glance.
However, it wasn’t the uniform that disturbed him so much as the way it molded to her body. The tight pants clung to her sensational legs like a second skin while the shirt, unbuttoned just enough to hint at cleavage, outlined her breasts to perfection.
She sauntered across the room and his libido went ballistic.
“I believe you call these fatigues?”
His fingers dug into the armrest to stop from reaching for her. “On army personnel they’re fatigues. On you they’re downright sinful.”
“Would you prefer I took them off?” She perched on the edge of his desk a mere two feet away from him, a knowing smile playing around the corners of her glossed mouth.
“What the hell’s gotten into you?” His resistance wavered and he couldn’t resist reaching out, touching her leg, his hand stroking her calf. Surely one touch wouldn’t hurt?
“Nothing...yet.”
His head snapped up at her innuendo, as he tried to interpret the gleam in her daring gaze. He knew she wanted him but she’d never been this forward before. It turned him on. Big time.
“I could have you court-marshaled for that sort of remark.” His hand slid up her leg to her knee while he watched her pupils dilate, her reaction stoking his fire until he thought he’d combust.
“Won’t you have to arrest me first?”
He could’ve sworn she batted her eyelashes, which seemed longer and darker than usual. Lori rarely wore make-up, which he preferred, though she’d obviously pulled out all stops with the mascara, not to mention the gloss that made her lips gleam, entirely too kissable.
“You know you’re playing with fire, right?” He trailed his fingertips from her knee up the inside of her thigh as her tongue flicked out to moisten her bottom lip and it took every ounce of his willpower not to leap up and do the same with his own tongue.
“Am I?”
To his amazement, she slid out of his reach, sending him a coy smile as she unlaced her combat boots in record speed.
“Look, I’m not sure what you hoped to achieve by coming here like this, but—”
“Did you always talk this much?” She threw the boots on the floor and turned back toward him, planting one foot on his thigh.
“What the—?”
His brain stopped functioning as she wriggled her toes, inching her way toward his groin and the hard evidence of exactly how much he wanted her.
He should’ve stopped her.
He should’ve never let their flirtation get this far.
Instead, he sat there like one of the dummies his recruits used for bayonet practice and let her use her foot like some damn homing device—which had its sights set on one target. Unfortunately, it was the one target that threatened to detonate the closer she got.
“Nice to see you two getting along so well.” Michael’s voice came from the doorway and Flynn leaped from his chair as if he’d been shot.
He cast a quick glance at Lori, expecting her face to reflect the embarrassment scorching his own cheeks. Instead, she slid to her feet with consummate ease, picked up her boots and sat in the chair he’d just vacated.
She waved. “Hi, Michael. I’ve heard so many good reports about Flynn’s training school I’ve decided to enroll.”
“The uniform looks good on you,” Michael said, the appreciative gleam in his eyes making Flynn want to deck him.
“Lori was just leaving,” Flynn butted in, torn between wanting to throttle Michael for barging in when he did and wanting to hug the guy for stopping what had promised to be the biggest mistake he could’ve made in a long time.
“Coward,” she murmured for his ears only as she stood and brushed past him. “See you later, boys.”
With a saucy wave, she strolled out the door leaving him aroused, frustrated and confused as hell.
CHAPTER TEN
Lori waited in the schoolyard for Flynn to arrive, hoping the last of her courage hadn’t deserted her. Adam had soccer practice today and she hoped it would give them some valuable time to talk.
She still couldn’t believe she’d pulled off that stunt at the training school yesterday. Thanks to Jane’s assertiveness coaching she’d walked onto his turf like a femme fatale, batted her eyelashes and flirted like a pro—when all she’d felt like doing was hiding in one of the tanks.
Rather than fobbing her off as she’d expected, Flynn had reacted to her act better than she’d hoped. Though a small part of her had been relieved by Michael’s arrival because she couldn’t have taken her performance much further without dissolving into giggles—or dissolving into his arms—whichever came first.
At least his reaction had solved one mystery. He obviously wanted her as much as she wanted him and it was time to take this friendship to the next level.
He’d asked what she wanted? He was about to get his wish.
“What are you still doing here?” Flynn tapped her on the shoulder and she jumped.
“You startled me,”
she said, her breath hitching at the sight of him in uniform.
She’d seen him in casual clothes, a tux and a suit since he’d returned but nothing had prepared her for the impressive sight of the man she loved wearing a uniform. It should’ve turned her off—she’d hated every time her dad had strutted into the room wearing it—but something about Flynn wearing the crisp khakis set her heart thumping.
“You shouldn’t leave your rear exposed,” he said, his wry grin sending her pulse into overdrive. “Basic army training.”
“I’ll try to remember that.” Her gaze flickered over his body again, unable to resist ogling.
“You approve?”
“Mmm,” she nodded, trying not to stare until she went cross-eyed.
“Where’s Adam?” He straightened his shoulders, picking up on her obvious admiration.
“Soccer practice. He won’t finish ’til after six so I was wondering if you’d like to catch up for a coffee.”
He shook his head, and her heart sank. “Can’t. Just stopped by to say bye to Adam.”
Her faint hope withered and died as she absorbed the implications.
He’d come to say goodbye to Adam, not her.
He was wearing a uniform.
He was going away.
“Oh.”
That one pathetically inadequate syllable sounded small and insignificant when the news he had revealed was anything but.
“I’m going to Sydney. Business.”
“How long will you be gone?” She tried to instill the right amount of casualness into her voice, as if his answer didn’t matter when in fact she was hanging on his every word.
He glanced away, focusing on the swings and seesaws behind her. “Probably just the weekend.”
His noncommittal answer did it. She’d put up with his “let’s just be friends” crap for weeks, she’d tolerated his mixed messages, and now this.
“What shall I tell Adam?” She snapped, resisting the urge to shove him squarely in the middle of his broad chest.
“I’ll call him tonight and explain.”
He met her gaze and by the wariness in his eyes, he’d got the message she wasn’t impressed. “What’s with the attitude?”
“You really want to know?”
“Wouldn’t have asked otherwise.”
A frown appeared between his brows and she was torn between wanting to smooth it out and knocking some sense into him.
“I’m tired, Flynn. Tired of all the game playing, the dancing around each other.” She held her hands out to him, palm up, hiding nothing. “But most of all I’m tired of pretending you mean nothing to me. So, what’s this jaunt to Sydney really about? Are you running away again?”
“That’s not fair,” he said, the steel underlying his words brooking no argument. “I didn’t run away last time. I followed a dream, and you were supposed to follow yours.”
“Maybe you didn’t run away but you sure as hell didn’t fight. You gave up on us— ” Lori bit her tongue as the bitter words popped out and Flynn’s eyes turned an icy glacier gray.
Damn, they’d already had this conversation weeks ago and it hadn’t stopped her from falling head over heels for him all over again.
She tried a softer approach. “I know I acted like an idiot back then, not returning your calls or emails. But when I needed you the most, you’d given up...”
Unfair and irrational? Definitely, but it was how she felt deep down inside, how she’d always felt. That despite saying he loved her, he loved the army more and he hadn’t tried hard enough to save what they’d had.
He thrust his hands in his pockets when all she wanted him to do was reach out, pull her into his arms and tell her everything was going to okay.
“I can’t change the past.”
“What about the future?” She held her breath, her heart pounding too loudly in her ears. His answer could make or break them and she was so tired of her heart breaking. “Is there a future for us?”
He shook his head. “I can’t give you the answer you expect to hear right now. I’m sorry.”
She stared at him, blinking away the tears that sprang to her eyes.
“So am I,” she whispered, as she watched him walk away, taking a huge part of her heart with him.
He’d taken several steps before hesitating and glancing over his shoulder.
“Just go,” she said, holding onto her emotions by a very thin thread.
“I forgot something.” He covered the short distance separating them in a few strides, swooping in for a soul-destroying kiss before crushing her in his arms.
He squeezed so tight she could barely breathe, but Lori didn’t mind. Flynn’s words were lousy but his actions? Told her exactly what she needed to hear.
He released her all too quickly. “I’ll be back.”
He didn’t stop this time as he strode away.
“Don’t make any promises you can’t keep,” she yelled at his retreating back, hoping this would be the last time he’d walk away from her, knowing it was futile to make wishes that might never come true.
* * *
“How did my plan work out?” Jane sipped her cappuccino and licked froth off her top lip.
“It didn’t.” Lori pushed away the third cup of tea she’d drunk in the last half-hour. Though her mom had died when she was young she could still remember her saying tea was the panacea for all ills. Unfortunately, all the tealeaves in Sri Lanka couldn’t ease her aching heart at the moment.
Jane’s eyebrows shot heavenward. “You’re kidding? The man must be made of stone not to be moved by that little performance I coached you in.”
“He was moved all right. So moved he’s running away to Sydney.” She fixed her friend with a baleful stare. “Remind me never to listen to your harebrained ideas.”
Jane shrugged. “Maybe it was in the execution?”
“There’s nothing wrong with my womanly talents. We were getting along just fine ’til Michael interrupted us.”
“That dork still around?” Jane wrinkled her pert nose as if she’d smelt something nasty.
Lori smiled. “Dork isn’t the word I’d use to describe Michael anymore.”
“Yeah, right. He was the biggest geek in high school. And now he’s your accountant? How much dorkier could he get?”
Lori’s smile widened. “See for yourself. He’s just entered the café.”
Subtlety had never been one of Jane’s strong points as her friend swiveled her chair toward the door. “Wow-ee,” she murmured before turning back. “Are you sure that’s the same guy?”
Lori nodded. “One and only.”
“Sheesh. Where did those biceps come from? Not to mention the dimples.” Jane fanned her face with a napkin. “How come I never noticed those before? I adore dimples.”
“You adore anything male on two legs,” Lori replied, waving at Michael to come over. “I’ll reintroduce you.”
“No,” Jane hissed. “Do you know how long it has been since I had a date let alone talked to a guy? Wait ’til I fix my hair.”
“You look fine.”
Michael walked up to their table, Lori buoyed by his appreciative grin as he caught sight of Jane. Her friend was so devoted to her rambunctious kid she rarely went out—they were similar that way—but that didn’t stop Jane talking and acting like she’d stepped out of the latest chick flick.
“How are you, Lori?” Michael barely glanced at her, his gaze riveted to Jane, and Lori bit back a smile
“Fine thanks.” She gestured at Jane. “You remember Jane Davies?”
“Sure.” He held out his hand, his grin widening and accentuating those dimples Jane had homed in on. “Been a while since high school.”
Jane took his hand, holding it a fraction longer than conventional while flashing him a dazzling smile Lori envied. Would be beneficial to master it to wield at will—in Flynn’s direction.
“Why don’t you join us?” Jane waved to the spare seat at their table.
D
isappointment downturned his mouth. “Thanks for the offer but I need to get back to the office. Burning the midnight oil tonight.”
“On a Friday? That’s dedication,” Jane said, regret audible. “If you need a break you know where to find us.”
“Sure thing.” His curious gaze locked with Jane’s for another few seconds before he half-saluted and walked away.
Jane leaned back in her chair, her eyes fixed on Michael’s butt as he wound his way between tables. “I retract the dorky geek comment,” she said, fanning her face again. “That’s one hot guy.”
“You really haven’t had a date in a while.”
Lori should know. They often lamented the lack of men in their lives while chatting over a glass of wine on a Saturday night as their boys played computer games or pirates or whatever the battle of the day was. Lori never minded, but from Jane’s stories, she’d led a wild life as a roadie for a rock band before accidentally falling pregnant with Chris and by all accounts, missed the fun of life on the road.
To her surprise, seriousness replaced Jane’s trademark cheek. “I’m over the dating thing. I want somebody special.”
“Not like you to need a guy. What’s up?”
Jane’s lower lip wobbled before she quickly hid it behind her coffee cup. “I’m lonely. All the guys I’ve ever been with have been wrong for me. I want someone different now, someone steady, reliable...”
Her wistful gaze lingered on the door where Michael had left a few minutes ago. “Who would’ve thought I’d ever find an accountant attractive?”
“Michael’s a good guy.”
“And cute...” Jane straightened, suddenly business-like. “Enough about me. Let’s get back to more important matters like your love life—”
“Lack of one, don’t you mean?”
“You definitely have one. It’s just a matter of pointing it out to the other person involved.”
Lori sighed, tracing square outlines of the red and white-checkered tablecloth. “I’m beginning to wonder if it’s worth it.”
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