Today, he needed to take care of the rest and then he’d be free.
Free to do what he should’ve done six years ago—whisk the woman of his dreams down the aisle and provide their son with the family he deserved.
He glanced at his watch, hoping Cathy would be waiting for him. She’d had an early morning meeting scheduled at Centrepoint Tower so he’d said he would meet her there for coffee afterwards. He wanted to make a clean break and hoped his commanding officer wouldn’t give him a hard time.
Cathy had been a great boss and he’d learned a lot from her but it was time to focus on other things besides his career, starting with Lori and Adam, the two most important people in his life.
He rode the lift to the top of the Tower, his thoughts totally focused on Lori. He wondered what sort of wedding she’d prefer, a quiet affair or a big party? Would she wear a simple suit of understated elegance or a gorgeous gown fit for a princess?
He smiled at the analogy. She’d always loved fairy tales and she’d shared some of her English essays with him, every story she wrote ending happily. This time he fully intended to give her the happily ever after she deserved.
As he stepped from the lift, Cathy rose from a seat by the window and waved him over. He’d battled men in combat, he’d faced egotistical sergeants bellowing orders, yet both paled in comparison when confronting a woman like Cathy. Ballbreaker was the term often bandied behind her back. Not by him. He respected hard work, fierce dedication and job loyalty.
“About time you showed up, Logan.” She tapped her watch impatiently before returning his salute, gesturing to the chair opposite. “Dammit, your papers came through. I’m losing one of my best soldiers?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Think you can help expedite my release?”
“Not asking for much, are you?” She grimaced. “I knew this was coming when you requested the extended leave but what’s the hurry?”
“Personal stuff,” he said, wishing they could wrap this meeting up ASAP so he could get back to Melbourne and prove just how personal he could get with his future wife.
Cathy’s eyebrows shot up. “This is about a woman?”
Flynn laughed. “Just because you military girls have a guy in every outpost doesn’t mean I’m the same. I’ve found the one and I intend to let her know it.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Cathy shook her head, her grin widening by the second. “Remind me not to grant any of my other top staff leave. Look what happens. You go soft.”
Flynn shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a marshmallow.”
Cathy’s loud guffaw had heads turning. “In that case, this CO won’t stand in the way of true love. Good luck, Logan. I reckon cohabiting with one person for the rest of your life is way harder than any of the missions I ever sent you on.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
They shook hands, as Flynn wondered why it was so easy to walk away from a career that had meant everything to him until recently. He’d expected to feel a twinge of regret, a feeling of loss. Instead, he couldn’t believe the surreal lightness he’d left his past behind, and the intense eagerness to start his new life.
“Great working with you, boss. And thanks for speeding my ROSO up.”
“No problems, Logan. Your Return of Service Obligation was complete a while back so you’re off the hook.” Cathy saluted. “If you ever need your butt kicked or feel the need to do a hundred push ups after running a marathon as a warm up for a mission, you know where to find me.”
Flynn grinned, knowing he’d left that part of his life well and truly behind him.
From now on, he had a new mission, starting with convincing Lori to spend the rest of her life with him.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Nothing soothed a broken heart like retail therapy. Jane’s mantra, something Lori had never tried considering she’d only ever let one guy close to her heart and the single thing she’d shopped for back then had been baby clothes.
Foolishly, she’d booked a late flight back to Melbourne, envisaging a romantic day following her sizzling night with Flynn. Sadly, that plan had been scuttled when he couldn’t get away to his precious army meeting quick enough, and she now had hours to fill before heading to the airport.
She’d skipped breakfast and left the hotel not long after Flynn, so relaxing in a café and taking the first sip of an extra strong espresso made her sigh with pleasure as she watched commuters hurry along Sydney’s busy streets.
She rarely had time to sit in a café savoring a coffee and she smiled behind her glass. A smile that quickly faded as she caught sight of Flynn strolling out of a building opposite, next to a woman in uniform.
They chatted for a while, his relaxed posture and genuine smile at complete odds with his usual recalcitrance. There was nothing remotely sexual about the encounter and his smart salute, echoed by the woman, reinforced what he’d said: a business meeting with his commander.
That wasn’t what had Lori clutching the table until her fingernails were in danger of splitting. Uh-uh, it was the ecstatic expression that took years off his battle-weary face.
She’d never seen him look like that; at least, not with her and at that moment, all her secret dreams, all her deepest wishes, shattered.
While she loved Flynn, she couldn’t compete with his first love.
The army was his life, his joy, and she’d never take that away from him. Or worse, make him choose.
She’d come so close to doing it once before...never again. For Adam’s sake, she’d maintain a friendship, putting a dampener on her feelings once and for all.
Besides, she’d seen what playing mistress to the army could do to a woman and she never wanted to end up like her mom. Constantly on edge, stressed and pining for a man who’d never give up his vocation no matter what the incentive.
Flynn may be nothing like the colonel but would he change too, being “trapped” in a family situation? And if they gave a relationship a chance, how long before he resented her?
She didn’t want to live like that, knowing the guy she loved wasn’t one hundred percent happy. She wouldn’t do it to him, couldn’t do it to herself.
As Flynn hoisted his duffle onto his shoulder and signaled a taxi, an extra spring in his step as he sprinted down the road to catch one, she knew she’d made the right decision despite her aching heart.
* * *
Lori braced for Jane’s incoming hug as her friend squeezed the life out of her before releasing and holding her at arm’s length.
“So, how did it go?”
“Good.” Lori spun away and dumped her overnight bag on the floor before Jane saw the bleakness in her eyes, something no amount of eye makeup could erase despite the uncharacteristic lashings of mascara she’d used on the plane.
“Just good?”
Jane wouldn’t let this go and with a sigh, Lori straightened, knowing the exact moment when Jane caught sight of her expression.
“Oh, honey, come have a cuppa and tell me everything.”
Lori didn’t need tea, she needed to dive into bed and not re-emerge for a week but with the boys almost finished with their cricket game in the backyard and Adam guaranteed to barrel straight into her arms the moment he caught sight of her, she couldn’t hide no matter how much she wanted to.
“Adam’s okay?”
“A sweetheart as always.” Jane bustled around the kitchen, flinging mugs and teaspoons onto a tray. “Something I told you on the phone when you rang last night and again this morning.”
Jane glanced over her shoulder and frowned. “I knew something was up after that call early this morning, when you should’ve been holed up in bed with his dad.”
Bed...Flynn...
Lori blinked the images away but not before her heart gave a traitorous leap.
“Here, get this into you.” Jane shoved a steaming mug of hot chocolate complete with marshmallows stacked three deep toward her. “By the sounds of it, you need the sugar hit rather than tea, and chocolate’s a staple for brok
en hearts.”
In that case, Lori needed to stock up, big time. “Thanks.”
Jane didn’t press and Lori took her time, savoring the silky sweetness sliding down her throat, the first time since this morning’s espresso she’d been able to eat or drink anything. Difficult to squeeze anything past the huge lump in her throat.
Jane snaffled a marshmallow from her saucer. “The boys will be in any minute.”
Lori managed a feeble smile. “Subtle.”
Jane placed her coffee mug on the table, threw up her hands. “Hey, I’ve waited this long, you have to give me something.”
What could Lori say? She loved Flynn, last night cemented that love, a love that may not be one-sided but wasn’t strong enough to sustain them?
She shrugged. “Flynn and I will always be close and I’m glad I went to Sydney...”
“But?”
“But that’s as far as it goes.”
Jane frowned. “I don’t get it.”
“Neither do I—”
“Hey, Mom, you’re back. Awesome.”
As Adam burst through the back door, raced across the kitchen and flung himself into her arms, Lori buried her nose in her son’s hair, inhaled the familiar comforting scent of fresh outdoors and citrus shampoo, and struggled not to cry.
Sensing her distress, Jane clapped her hands. “How would you boys like nachos and chocolate milkshakes on the back porch?”
Adam slid out of Lori’s arms and she folded them to stop from reaching out and pulling him close again. Her beautiful boy was the reason she did anything these days and for him she’d suck up the pain of not having Flynn love her enough. She would welcome Flynn into their lives despite every instinct prompting her to run in the opposite direction, as far from the sexy soldier as she could get.
“Is that okay, Mom?”
“Sure, sweetheart.” She tweaked his nose. “Head back out, I’ll be there shortly with your snacks.”
Adam’s crinkly smile wrapped around her heart and cradled it. “You’re the best. Thanks.”
Racing out the back door, he yelled, “Hey Chris, nachos and milkshakes coming up. How awesome is that?”
After the screen door slammed shut, Jane bustled around the kitchen, giving Lori time to compose herself. No mean feat, considering her friend would be busting to continue the interrogation.
“Thanks, Jane.”
“For?”
“Letting me off the hook.”
“I’m not.” Jane snorted as she liberally sprinkled grated cheese over corn chips and refried beans in a deep dish. “I’m giving you extra time to remember every teensy-weensy detail before you regale me with envy-inducing tales of your sex-capade in Sydney.”
Heat flushed Lori’s cheeks. “Shush. The boys might hear.”
Jane quirked a brow. “They’re in the far corner of the yard playing cricket so not buying that excuse either. You ready to spill yet?”
Lori mumbled a noncommittal response as Jane slid the dish into the oven and set about making the milkshakes.
After dumping the milk carton on the bench, Jane paused and cupped a hand behind her ear. “Sorry, didn’t quite hear that. You say something?”
Smiling, Lori stood and joined Jane at the bench. “Spending time with Flynn in Sydney was great but there won’t be a repeat.”
Jane’s eyes widened. “So did you...you know...”
Lori nodded and Jane let out a loud whoop. “Good for you.”
Ultimately, it wasn’t but she’d never regret what they’d shared last night and how incredible being in Flynn’s arms made her feel.
“Why no repeat?”
Lori dashed chocolate syrup into two tall glasses, added the milk and whisked with a spoon. “Because fundamentally nothing has changed.”
Jane frowned. “I don’t get it.”
“I didn’t want a relationship with him six years ago because of the army and I still feel the same way.” Her hand picked up tempo as she whisked, her annoyance level rising. “We had an incredible night, then he dashed off to a meeting.” She huffed out an exasperated breath. “Then I saw him later, sheer coincidence, meeting with his commander. He looked...”
“What?”
“Happy. Really, truly happy. I’ve never seen him look like that.”
“Even with you?”
“Especially with me.” Lori dropped the spoon with a clatter as the first tear rolled down her cheek and splashed into her hand.
“Hey, don’t cry.” Jane pulled her into a hug and Lori let her, but not for long.
She didn’t have time for tears or self-pity. She had a hungry boy waiting outside to spend some quality time with his mom and that’s all that mattered.
“Thanks, but I’m fine.” Lori squeezed Jane and released her, then dashed a hand across her eyes.
Wisely, Jane said nothing. She picked up the milkshakes and headed for the back door, bumping it open with her hip. She paused on the threshold. “You sure about this?”
Lori nodded, wishing with all her heart she was wrong but knowing otherwise. She’d seen the evidence and along with her gut instinct, knew without a doubt the army would always be Flynn’s first love.
And she’d be no one’s seconds, ever.
* * *
Flynn arrived on Lori’s doorstep with her favorite flowers, the huge crimson gerberas she’d always loved. The news would be all over Richmond tomorrow, how he’d emptied the local florist of every last bloom and ordered a bunch to be delivered to her house every day over the next week.
Not that he cared about the gossip. Now he was a free man he had every intention of letting the world know he was courting Lori Ballantine and wanted her to marry him.
He’d almost gone ahead and bought the ring in Sydney but had stopped at the last minute. Though he’d known her innermost thoughts years ago, they’d been apart a long time and he wanted to do this right. He didn’t know her taste in jewelry these days and he’d rather they shared the experience of choosing a ring together.
He shook his head, hating this confusion. In the army, he’d known where he stood with clear-cut rules and regulations, with discipline and comradeship. His life had been neat and tidy, then Lori had re-entered his life and turned everything on its head.
Not that he regretted a moment of it: Adam, their reigniting relationship, leaving the army. There was a time for everything and he’d paid his dues.
Now, this time was his.
Taking a deep breath, he knocked on the door. Pounding footsteps echoed in the hallway before the door swung open and his son looked up at him, a huge smile splitting his freckled face.
“Hi, Dad, you’re back. Did you bring me anything?”
“Hey champ.” He squatted and enveloped Adam in a hug, knowing it would take a lifetime of thanks to the big guy upstairs to half-way make up for the gift he now held in his arms.
Adam pulled back, stared at the flowers in his hand and wrinkled his nose. “Don’t like flowers. I prefer model airplanes. Or computer games.”
Adam grabbed Flynn’s hand and dragged him inside. “But don’t worry about it. You’re new at this dad stuff, you’ll get used to it.”
Flynn stifled a grin. “Thanks, Son. Is your mom home?”
“No, she’s not.” A censured voice came from the lounge room.
Flynn glanced up in surprise and met Jane’s disapproving glare. He raised an eyebrow, unable to ask where her attitude was coming from while Adam was in the room.
“Sweetie, why don’t you go to your room and boot up the computer? I’ll be in soon and you can show me that new game you’ve downloaded?” Jane’s voice had softened somewhat but the angry look she shot him hadn’t.
“Dad, do you want to see it too?”
Adam looked up at him with the gray eyes so like his own, their eager expression imploring him to listen and tugging at his heart.
“I’d love to but I can’t right now. I need to see your mom.”
Adam grinned, a cheeky smil
e that lit his face. “I knew those flowers were for her all along. I was just teasing. They’re her favorite, you know.”
Flynn smiled back. “I know.”
A slight frown creased Adam’s brows. “But how come you’re here when she’s gone to the training school to see you?”
“She has?”
That surprised him. She’d never visited him there apart from the one time she’d popped in wearing that cute little camouflage number and done her damnedest to seduce him.
Adam nodded. “Yep. You better go see her before those flowers die.”
“Good advice.” He ruffled Adam’s hair, sent a quizzical glance Jane’s way which she ignored, and headed out the door, trying to subdue the niggle of doubt that had sprouted the moment Jane had spoken.
Lori’s friend hadn’t been happy about something and she’d made it more than clear it involved him.
His gut instincts had kept him alive on more than one occasion on the front line and right now, those instincts were screaming he was about to step on a landmine.
* * *
Lori surveyed the obstacle course and chose a pile of old tires as a seat. She had expected Flynn to be here as she’d rung the facility to double-check when he’d be back. Instead, she’d arrived to find the training school empty. She’d flipped open her mobile to call him when he’d texted her: ON MY WAY, C U SOON. FLYNN
No X, no cyber kiss to show he cared. A petty, insignificant observation, especially when they’d been exchanging texts about Adam for a while and he’d never added an X. But in her state of mind, the absence of that stupid virtual kiss was indicative of everything about their relationship: she cared too much, him not enough.
She paced the grounds for fifteen minutes, hoping to clear her head and stay in control for the inevitable awkwardness of the confrontation ahead. She needed this to go smoothly for Adam’s sake. However, her stroll didn’t ease her nerves. If anything, the longer Flynn took to show up, the more wound up she got.
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