Never Letting Go (Delphian Book 1)

by Christina Channelle

  Ethan shrugged, this pensive look on his face. “But if she does kill him, how does she wind up dead? I don’t see her as the murder/suicide type.”

  I tapped a finger on my lips, thinking, and then glanced down at the alcohol-laced punch that CJ had left behind. I picked it up and brought it to my nose, making a face at the strong alcohol stench.

  “Unless…”

  A loud crash sounded from outside and the building shook. Ethan and I quickly looked at each other, and like the rest of the people present, rushed outside.

  The scene was crazy. There was tons of smoke and a car horn blaring repeatedly. Getting closer, I saw that a fire red sports car was rammed into the side of the main university building.

  CJ’s car.

  “I’m going to go look for Jeannette,” said Ethan, and I gave a small nod while he went around to the other side of the vehicle and disappeared.

  I walked closer, staring into the front of the car, surprised when I only saw one passenger.

  CJ.

  His soul appeared next to me while I stared solemnly at his dead body. I turned to him. “What did you do?”

  He turned to me, surprised. “You can see me?”

  “Yes.”

  He sighed, relieved. “Geez, I’ve been trying to get people’s attention, but they’ve been ignoring me, just staring straight at…” He looked toward the car. “…me.”

  “So you realize you’re dead?”

  “Yup.”

  “And how did this…” I waved at the scene before me. “Happen?”

  “I ran the bitch over with my car.”

  I stilled, then turned to CJ wide-eyed, shocked at how he’d said it so matter-of-fact. Staring hard at the car, I noticed blood at the front of the vehicle that had been difficult to see at first with the color of the car. It was also too far away to be CJ’s. A single cherry red high heel shoe was found a few feet away.

  Jeannette.

  “Sophia!” a voice whispered before I could react.

  I frowned, glancing into the distraught crowd and locking eyes with a familiar face.

  “What are you doing here?” I said to Sabina, then shook my head in confusion. I studied her intently as she stood facing me, almost clocked in shadows. “Wait—how can you see me?”

  I was Grim. Now that it was time to deal with CJ in the afterlife, I was invisible to the human eye. At least, I should be.

  Sabina flushed and glanced away from my stare. “I have certain … gifts.”

  “Gifts?” My eye twitched at the word. I was guarded, and had all the reason to be. Sabina was a mystery and I didn’t really know who she was. I glanced around, trying to spot Ethan but was unable to find him.

  “Yes,” Sabina said slowly, drawing my eyes back to her. She shrugged when I caught her eye. “I wanted to make sure I could contact you when needed.”

  “I gave you my number,” I said flatly.

  She raised a brow at me. “And phone calls can remain unanswered. Taking a strand of your hair and doing a small incantation guaranteed that. I had to make sure you were going to resolve the Liam situation.”

  “The Liam situation,” I repeated. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. I eyed her again. “Fine, I’ll give you that. I’m ignoring the hair thing, just so you know.”

  Creepy.

  “And you’re some sort of witch,” I continued. “What else are you hiding from me?”

  “I’m not a witch,” she blurted loudly, then glanced around nervously at the outburst. She breathed silently, speaking more softly. “It’s just something that was passed on to me from my grandmother.”

  “Is that why you know so much about the afterlife?” I asked warily.

  She sighed, lips curling into a humorless smile. “Among other things.”

  I frowned, unable to figure Sabina out. And now wasn’t the time. “You really shouldn’t be here. Ethan could see you at any second, and I have a job to do.”

  She must have seen that I had calmed down from the gift thing, and walked over to me. She finally registered the bloody body still seated in the car, and covered her mouth with a hand. Her eyes locked with mine. “A Grim job?”

  I gave her a look. “What clued you in?”

  Sabina swallowed steadily. “Is he here right now?” she whispered, looking around.

  “Yup.”

  CJ wasn’t easy to miss.

  “Where?” she asked, eyes darting back to mine.

  I pointed toward her, trying my best not to smirk. “He’s right next to you, sniffing your hair.”

  Sabina bit back a scream and flinched, retreating a step as she touched her braids.

  “The entire time? Really, Sophia!”

  I chuckled, ignoring her mortification and ramblings about needing a cigarette. She kind of deserved it.

  CJ looked over at me, annoyed. “Why’d you have to go and spoil all the fun?”

  “How are you so chill that you’re dead?”

  He shrugged, not seeming to care that his body was currently burning while people screamed and sirens rang. “Figured I’d go out in a blaze of glory. Never knew I’d take Jeannette down with me though. That just took the cake. You should have seen how she went smack!” He slapped his hands together and I stared at him, appalled.

  Is he serious?

  He shrugged again. “But then the car exploded. I loved that car.”

  Holy crap. This guy was totally Hell material. I couldn’t wait to throw him in.

  I looked over at Sabina, who looked like she wanted to take a shower. “You need to leave before Ethan gets back. We’ll talk later.”

  “You promise?”

  “Yeah, yeah.” I shooed her away. “Now go!”

  Sabina walked away quickly, and not a moment too soon, because Ethan walked over with Jeannette clinging to his side. She stepped away when she saw CJ.

  “You killed me, you ass!”

  “And I’d do it again in a heartbeat!” CJ turned to me. “I’m dead. Why is she still here? Can she like, disappear or something?”

  I looked over at Ethan. “Guess the party’s over.”

  “I had to go look for her since she wandered off.” Ethan looked pained as he looked at all the commotion around him. “I wasn’t quite expecting … this.”

  I glanced at Jeannette and CJ, who were staring daggers at each other, then back to Ethan. “Guess we’re going separate ways.”

  Ethan scratched his head, staring at Jeannette. “I think so. She’s annoying but harmless.”

  I walked over to him and kissed him softly before drawing back. I wiped the lipstick that rubbed off on his lips, then lightly touched him on the chest. “I might take a bit longer than you. Wait for me?”

  He cupped my face. “Always.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  “HEY, SABINA! WHERE are you?”

  I was back at the school. After delivering CJ to Hell, I made it back to this plane and saw the message from her on my cell to meet her at the library.

  CJ has been an annoying pest and I was extremely glad to be rid of him.

  Standing next to CJ, we stood in front of a threshold that was guarded by a male Phantom. Phantoms were creepy as hell, and the intricate tattoos carved into their flesh didn’t help the situation at all. I tried crossing my eyes so I wouldn’t have to stare at him directly and motioned over to CJ.

  “I’m here for my latest delivery.”

  CJ looked aghast at my words. “Delivery—as in me? You’re kidding, right?”

  I turned to face CJ then directed my head to our stormy and silent companion. “Does it look like he’s kidding? Welcome to Hell.”

  I certainly did not want to be in CJ’s shoes ever, and for the first time in a long time except when I saw Ethan after I realized I was Grim, I felt lucky.

  I didn’t realize how unnerving the library could be in the middle of the night. The only light making it in was through the windows, casting from the moon, and the rows and rows of books made it possible
for anyone to be hiding in the shadows. The creep factor was exceedingly high.

  “I’m right here,” a voice said behind me, and I tried not to jump.

  I spun around. “What’s up?”

  Sabina looked at me sadly. “You haven’t done anything about Liam, have you?”

  “I’ve been pretty busy, if you didn’t quite catch the dead people outside a little earlier.”

  “I guess you failed to miss the dead person inside.”

  “What?” I said, confused.

  She gestured to the checkout section. “Go look behind the desk.”

  I gave her an exasperated look but said nothing, and walked over to the checkout counter. I took a look over at behind the desk, then sighed, turning back to Sabina.

  “When were you going to tell me about the dead bloody redhead?” From what I could tell, the body belonged to Emilia Grant.

  “Like you mentioned, you were pretty busy.”

  “How did you find her?”

  “More like she found me,” Sabina mumbled, and I looked at her in confusion. “I got a note at the front door today. It said to go to the university library because there was a gift he wanted me to pass along to you.”

  “Liam.”

  “He knows you’re here. He’s playing with you,” she said, throwing her hands up in the air. “And I’m stuck in the middle of it.”

  “Well maybe if you hadn’t given him the notion to off people, we wouldn’t be in this position,” I said sharply.

  She looked at me wide-eyed. “You’re blaming me? The girl who went off and killed herself like a tragic Romeo and Juliet story is blaming me for this…?”

  I stiffened. “I was in mourning.”

  “We all mourn. That doesn’t give us license to go and off ourselves. Death is a part of life, not one to be messed with. Do you know how selfish you were, choosing Ethan over everybody else? How do you think Liam feels? What if your parents had been still alive? Would you have done it then? Your parents must weep for your soul to see how you’ve ended up as a Reaper—”

  She saw the look on my face and paused, ran her fingers through her hair, and sighed in defeat. “Sophia,” she said more kindly. “It’s not too late to make it right.”

  I knew what she was asking. “If I do this, if I ignore all the rules and take this into my own hands, shit will hit the fan. The higher ups won’t like it.”

  She gestured to the body on the floor, to Emilia. “Think of those poor girls, of Liam. You have to see the bigger picture and do what’s best.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek, knowing she was right. “So what big plan do you have to stop Liam, huh? Tell me?”

  “We kill him.”

  I looked at her sharply. “What?”

  “You have to kill him, Sophia. What else is there to do?”

  “I don’t know, maybe call the cops on him or something? Maybe if I talked to him, I can get through to him. I didn’t sign up for killing him.”

  She wasn’t seriously asking me to hunt my best friend down like a dog and murder him myself, was she?

  “If you kill him, you kill the disease. The Liam you know might come back. If you let him rot in jail, he’ll do just that. Rot.” She shrugged. “If that’s what you want.”

  “How is killing him worse than prison?”

  “Look in the mirror, Sophia. Both you and Ethan have a second chance. You’re repenting for eternity, living a semblance of some kind of life. Maybe Liam can do the same.”

  “He’ll come back? The Liam I know?” The Liam I grew up with.

  She shrugged. “If you make him Grim, yeah, of course he’ll come back. You came back.”

  I didn’t bother mentioning that if he did die, technically Liam wouldn’t have the right to be Grim. And he’d have a one-way ticket to…

  “How the hell am I supposed to find him?”

  Sabina took out a piece of paper from her pocket. “Liam wants to be found. He left this on the body.”

  I took the paper. It was an address.

  I hadn’t noticed that Sabina still held something else in her hand until the blade of a knife glittered. “Now go to him and do what you do best, Sophia. Reap.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  I LOOKED UP from the piece of paper in my hand to the tall abandoned building. It was an old development, scheduled to be demolished in a few weeks. They wanted to build a new condo unit.

  I walked slowly into the foyer, glancing around cautiously, then took the stairs up to the fifth floor like the note had said to. I reached the apartment noted in Liam’s familiar writing, opened the door, and slowly walked in.

  I felt like maybe I would recognize the place. I mean, I had been here before. But nothing was familiar. It was cold and sterile, and I wanted to turn around and run.

  “Sorry I had to make you take the stairs. You know, lack of electricity and all.”

  I inhaled at the voice coming from behind me and slowly turned, seeing a face I hadn’t seen in such a long, long time.

  “Liam…”

  He smiled back at me. It was the same smile I was used to, but his eyes were dark.

  Cold.

  “God, you look so beautiful in that dress,” he breathed, moving to hug me, but I stepped back.

  He frowned at my action. “What, are you afraid of me now?”

  I shook my head quickly. “Liam, that’s not—”

  “See, I knew this would work,” he interrupted. “I knew I could bring you back by sacrificing those girls—she was right.”

  My eyes narrowed. “She?”

  It didn’t sound like he was talking about Sabina.

  He went on like he never heard me. “Now we can be together, the way it’s supposed to be.”

  “No.”

  He looked at me strangely. “No?” he said quietly. “What do you mean, no?”

  “We can’t be together, Liam. I’m with Ethan.”

  “Ethan?” he said, laughing. “Ethan’s dead.”

  “So am I.”

  “What are you talking about?” The confusion was apparent on his face. “You’re right here. I brought you back.”

  “I’m dead, Liam. I died. You didn’t bring me back. Killing those girls didn’t suddenly bring me back to life.”

  “You’re lying.”

  “No, I’m not,” I said carefully. “I’m one of the undead, a reaper. A Grim.”

  “Grim?”

  “When people pass, I bring them over to the other side. That’s my role now. But see, you have to be dead to do that. I’m not alive right now. I died a long time ago in your arms … remember?”

  “No,” he whispered.

  “Yes. I’m a different Sophia now. I’m sorry.”

  He didn’t say anything for the longest time, he just stared down at the ground. “I had you, didn’t I, in this place? You were here before when I accidentally took that other girl, too.”

  I nodded. “Yes.” I knew he was referring to Amy. “I’ve been here before.”

  “No!” he said louder, swallowing thickly. He stared me straight in the face. “You’re not the one that got away, you’re the one that’s here to stay. I don’t believe you. It’s Ethan’s fault, isn’t it? He’s making you say these things.”

  I shook my head. “No…”

  “I don’t know how, but he took a piece of you with him every day that he was gone. He died, Sophia. He dies and you still couldn’t let him go?”

  “Liam…” I whispered softly.

  “I read your journal, you know. You just left me and I needed answers. You wrote everything in there, how you’d visit him in your sleep. It couldn’t be real, I kept telling myself. And then I went to see that girl and she showed me everything. How the line between the living and the dead is blurred.” He stepped forward and grabbed my wrist tightly and tugged. I tried not to cry out in pain. “How close you really were to me. How sometimes people can easily cross over to the land of the dead and vice versa.”

  “Liam, you’r
e hurting me.”

  He ignored me, continuing, “Especially when emotions are heightened … like with you.” I felt the bruises being branded on my skin with every word.

  “I love you,” he said pleadingly. “Why couldn’t you love me back?”

  “I do love you.” Tears welled in my eyes as I stared at my best friend. “Don’t you get it, Liam? I do love you. But I’m in love with Ethan. There’s a difference.”

  “Ethan,” he spat. “Why does he get everything? Even dead he gets every goddamn thing, including my best friend, my love.”

  “His love,” I whispered firmly.

  “My love,” he stated. “I had you first. Remember, we’re each other’s halves.”

  “I remember.”

  “So will you stay with me? Soph, I need to hear you say it.”

  I nodded, trying to placate him. “Yes … I’ll stay with you. But you have to kill yourself for that to happen.”

  I felt the grip on my wrist loosen as he faltered. “What?”

  “I’m a Grim Reaper, Liam. It’s the only reason I’m here, not because you killed those girls. It’s because I killed myself that I’m here. If you do it too, we can get back what we had.”

  “You’re a Grim Reaper.” He stared at me for the longest time. “And you really want me to kill myself?”

  “Yes,” I said with a nod.

  “This is crazy,” he breathed.

  “No, it’s not.”

  I moved until I was inches away from him, then wrapped my arms around him. I closed my eyes, remembering the boy with the puppy dog eyes that I would do anything for.

  “Just trust me.” I took his hand and pulled him toward the balcony, opening the sliding door.

  I had to believe it was the chill of the night that made me shudder. I stepped outside and turned to stare at Liam who still waited by the threshold.

  “Come on,” I urged, reaching a hand out to him.

  He stepped tentatively outside, then stood next to me. He looked over the side of the balcony then turned to face me. “You want me to…”

  “Jump.”

  He looked pained. “I can’t.”

  I stared firmly back at him. “You can and you will.”

  Liam placed his hands on the railing, gripping hard. I watched silently as I held my breath, tears gathering in my eyes that my vision almost blurred, then closed my eyes.