The Golden Globe
Page 23
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Thimble Theater Productions
Suite 100, Sentry/Sensational Studios
INTEROFFICE MEMO
FROM: Curly
TO: Sparky
Here's the newest Flacks, plus editorial comment.
TITLE AAS Last Month Last Year
1. Skunk Cabbage 93.1 1 2
2. Sparky and His Gang 90.3 3 15
3. Admiral Platypus 86.4 2 3
4. Scoop the Poop 85.2 5 7
5. The Gideon Peppy Show 79.3 4 1
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Continuing story is the inexorable slide of formerly invincible Peppy.
Not much reliable has come out of the courtrooms where Peppiprod and Thimble Theater are locked in a corporate struggle over trademarks and copyrights, A usually reliable source has spread the news that Gideon Peppy collapsed in the courtroom last Thursday, and was briefly hospitalized for what sounds like an attack of apoplexy. Meanwhile production has been halted at the Peppy studios, while Thimble Theater has been able to continue producing the Sparky show under the lower court's ruling, pending final appeal. This means that as of now Peppiprod has only two more stanzas to play, and they will be off the schedule. Somewhere, though, a very fat lady is taking a very deep breath, and the entire industry is waiting to hear what song she sings.
Contacted about this abrupt reversal of fortune, Gideon Peppy had this to say: "Get that fuckin' camera out of my fuckin' face before I break your fuckin' neck!" Easy, Giddy-o. Take a stress pill and cool your jets. Remember when there's a shine on your shoes there's a melody in your heart.
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from Vapor Trails
"All the Vicious Irresponsible Gossip Rumor and Innuendo Our Lawyers Permit!"
5/23/59
SOLOMON SPEAKS!
Judge Hands Down Decision in Thimble/Peppy Scuffle
Have you heard the old one about King Solomon and the baby? Two women claimed to be the kid's mother, neither could prove it. Old Sol says bring me a sword, proposes chopping the kid in two, make everybody happy, right? You don't believe me, look in the Bible. I'm sure the library has a copy, it means book, after all.
It looks like Sparky and his Thimble Theater Company get to keep all the characters he created for the show, forty-seven and counting so far. All except two of them. Are you ready? Of course, it's the characters of Sparky and Polly. Peppy was able to prove he wrote about them before he even met young Master Valentine. So "Sparky" the character remains the intellectual property of Peppiprod, for all the good it'll do him, and Sparky, the real-life Lunarian boy, gets to keep his gang, for all the good it'll do him. Somewhere the ghost of old King Solomon must be chuckling.
But rumors too speculative for even us to print hint this is not really the last verse of this epic. Let it stand for the moment that neither party is happy, and neither is about ready to give up.
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from Clavius Clarion
Shopper's Bargain Supplement
5/25/59
The big news in our little enclave this week was supposed to be the opening of the new domed city park and shopping mall out in the western district. That was before they announced that Sparky and Polly would be the guests of honor for the grand opening. News of the personal appearance brought some youngsters from as far away as King City. Police estimated the crowd at fifteen thousand.
You would have thought it was three times that many if you heard the cheers when Sparky and Polly flashed into view on their red skycycles. They buzzed the crowd half a dozen times, showering candy and trinkets from their saddlebags. It was a little bit Santa Claus, and a little bit Mardi Gras, and the children loved it. It's a good thing promoters provided adequate security, or the stage would have been mobbed when the two finally landed.
Sparky apologized to the kids for not bringing his gang with him, but he promised they'd be back in the old clubhouse in the near future. Then he and Polly sang the "Sparky's Gang Song" and the "Sugar Sparklers Song." All the kids seemed to know all the words.
But the surprise hit of the day was when a big, bumbling clown in yellow shoes, a checked jacket, red pants, and suspenders, bulled his way onstage, sucking on a huge lollipop. He started shouting at Sparky and Polly, jumping up and down, threatening them. The kids loved it. "Peppy" said he had Sparky's Gang and he was going to hold them hostage. Our heroes were not daunted; they strapped "Peppy" to one of their skycycles and sent him spinning into the air as the kids shouted with glee. And who says children don't follow the business and legal news? There seemed no doubt who the viewers favored in the simmering feud between Peppy and Sparky. If I was Gideon Peppy I'd be running for cover.
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from Vapor Trails
6/2/59
OTHER SHOE DROPS!
Wisdom of Solomon, Part Two
At last we can tell it. Final figures are in on the settlement between Gideon Peppy and Thimble Theater. What everyone seemed to have forgotten in last week's dustup was that Sparky Valentine, in addition to winning the rights to the characters he created while the Sparky show was being produced at Peppiprod, won the trademarks associated with them, and all the royalties paid since their creation. Anybody want to guess how much that might be? A figure was not publicly released, but to get an idea, find an eight-year-old, go to his room, and count the number of times you see a member of Sparky's Gang. Multiply that by the number of three-to-twelve-year-olds in Luna (we're not even considering Mars, the Belt, and the OP, but the court is, oh, my, yes!). If the manufacturers paid even a penny for the use of the image—and count on it, they paid more than that—it comes to a very tidy sum.
Entirely too tidy for Peppiprod. Like most production companies, PP's liquid assets are not large. Money goes into development, dividends, promotion, and the shine on Gideon Peppy's yellow shoes. Peppy didn't have anything like that kind of money, and considering he's been off the load for two months, is no longer in production, and rated a weak seventeenth in the AAS last time the show was offered, there were no banks or bankrollers willing to take a flyer on his future prospects.
Into this frightening picture steps Thimble Theater, a.k.a. Sparky Valentine, with an offer GP can't refuse. When the dust settles TT owns all rights to the characters of Sparky and Polly, and all back numbers of the Sparky show. GP is still not back in the black, but he's out of the ultraviolet.
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August 1 (King City Temple)
The July Flack Numbers as compiled by the Trends Research Department of the Latitudinarian Church are as follows:
TITLE AAS Last Month Last Year
1. Sparky and His Gang 93.3 2 5
2. Skunk Cabbage 89.4 1 1
3. Admiral Platypus 84.0 3 3
4. Scoop the Poop 82.1 4 4
5. Space Weasels 79.5 11 20
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At last! After an heroic two-year struggle, Sparky hits number one!
It's a good thing, too, or this column would be dull as dishwater. The only other number worth noting is the steady progress of Weasels, finally reaching the Fab Five. Plenty of educators out there are hoping it will soon reach number three, so maybe the Weasels can eat the Cabbages and die! Rounding out the comfortable middle of the table is the usual gang of suspects.
Former champ, the Gideon Peppy Show, is still out of the running, "on hiatus" is the polite expression. Word is it's a hiatus that may prove terminal. Peppiprod is still sniffing about for some bucks to get back in front of the cameras.
Contacted about the hard times his company has fallen on... well, we know GP would have had something snappy and witty to say, but we didn't ask him, as our reporter is not anxious to have his jaw broken again. We'll let you know how the lawsuit comes out. And frankly, at this point nobody really cares about the shine on his shoes, the lint on his hard candy, or the crap in his trousers.
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from Hebephrenia
column of 6/6/59
"At Home with the
Like Wireheads! Ex. P!" by D. Mentua Precox
touch doublestrikes for sound
touch Hyperlined words for refs
...and so when they asked me if I'd, you know, like to spend a few hours like with everybody's fayvyiest brillo-domes, I was all like "Get a clue unquote!" Like, the D stands for Dumbbunny, but not Dope, you load? But they were all like serious as green cheese, and stuff, so I packed my extra sox and training bra and pootled down to the backlot where they were making like the very first Sparky and Polly movie with the, like, Gang. Comma comma period. And there was this quote "dressing room" unquote that Sparky and Polly shared? You know? Question mark? Only it was bigger then D. Mentua's entire cubic!! Exc. etc. I mean, the D stands for Dazzled! Also for I Dug it!
So then Polly answers my like toodleoo in her you know Polly outfit and her hair looking like frozen noodles. And she's all like "Dee! How nice to see!" (Polly's voice ©59 Thimble Theater Productions) And I'm all howjadew howjadew and you know what I'm thinking is, how is it that, like yesterday noodleheads looked all haha looserbilly and stuff, and like, today it's all just treacle and buttered toast? Question mark! How like weird! ExMark? The D stands for Dumbfounded, you know? And then before you know it it's all last Tuesday.
Well, if you've had enufquote "deep thought" unquote for the day, I just had to point out to Pretty Pol that I, D. Period Mentua, had scoffed when the trendbillies like put you two out as mere hulahoops ten-day wondering, as it like were, when I was fritzing it about that you were the gen-you Frisbee! Whamm-o ex ex ex!!! and she goes "And we thank you for it." Your humbuggle narrator came over all pink and stuff. Shit!
And so dinner was served (no electric noodles! paren)thesis comma, and who should come flycycling by but the man/boy of the our, as well as hour, Sparky. And he goes "Long time no Dee!" (Sparky's voice ©59 Kenneth Valentine) and I'm howjadew all over the place again. period. And then most of the time yrs t. is sitting churchmouselike in a corner like watching breathlesslike while tag teams of atts-at-law, counselor, are shuttling massives of paper between the Sparkabilly and his like ex loco p., period comma, lady name of Melina I'd-tell-you-her-last but D stands for Dud when speling wurds of more than five slylabbles. Sillybabbles. Slybulls. D stands for Don't call on me, teacher! Syllables! and that's the lesson for today!
And she Melina is going "Sparky, I don't know anything about these legal matters, and Sparky goes "Don't worry, 'Ma,'" comma threes-trophe, and he goes "That's what lawyers are for." And the babble of attorneys keeps bringing on the papers. And I go "What's this all about question mark," and Sparky goes it's something about a makeover for Giddy Pep and I go boy, could he ever use it, did you lamp those yellow shoes, how un-Fahrenheit, with, goggle, gulp, red suspenders, gimmeachance here! Exclam! Then D.M.P. proozled thru a few, papers lying idly about and stuff, but when it comes to contracts D stands for a D in business ad. period and another D in business math. I'm sure there was a story there for some intrepid news-nosey, but not this my'self please!
So anyway where was I oh, yeah the Royal We spent an hour with the P. and S., and I bet you'd love to hear it. Well, pull your diapers back up, gramma, you didn't think it was all, like, freedie time, didja? Just load up $19.95 and get momster or dadster to thumb it to me for the real cheese! In threedee as in Dementia or D. Mentia, living crayolacolor big as a slice of life Phew! I got that all out in one breath! Period!
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from News Nipple
Financial Page
11/11/59
Thimble Theater in Peppy Takeover
In a surprise move today, Thimble Theater Productions, whose chief asset is the children's television show Sparky and His Gang, took control of Peppiprod, Inc., formerly Captained by Gideon Peppy, the originator of the series. At first glance, the transaction seems a case of a minnow swallowing a whale. But according to City Exchange analysts, it was a very hungry and aggressive minnow and a very tired, hollow whale. Peppiprod was saddled with a crippling debt load resulting from recent adverse court decisions in favor of Thimble Theater's managing director and chief stockholder, Kenneth Valentine. Efforts to obtain refinancing for such a speculative venture were making little progress until the takeover bid was announced. Hours later a consortium of investors solidified the deal.
(For financial details PRESS HERE)
The move was vigorously opposed by Chairman Peppy, but in the end his position was not strong enough to appeal to stockholders who stood to benefit in the transaction.
It is little wonder Peppy was opposed. In an odd twist, it turns out that all rights to the character "Gideon Peppy" are owned by Peppiprod, a situation brought about by certain tax advantages. It would seem then that Gideon Peppy, the person, no longer owns the rights to his own voice and image. Thimble Theater could, if it chose, enjoin him from wearing the clothing associated with the character he created—and now largely lives—or at least appearing in public as the character. It could even prevent him from using his own voice in commercial situations. Vaporum is now abuzz with lawyers and agents, seeking to rewrite contracts to avoid a similar conundrum for their clients. That won't be necessary for Ken Valentine, who personally owns the rights to his television character "Sparky," leasing it to Thimble Theater in an arrangement sure to be widely copied.
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from Flash in the Pan
"The Collector's Guide to PopCult Ephemera"
'59 Price Guide, coffee mugs
354. Skunk Cabbage. Zappy the Zombie $ 0.45
355. Skunk Cabbage. Zippy the Zombie $ 0.45
356. Sparky and His Gang. Ensemble $ 55.00
357. Sparky and His Gang. Sparky Alone $ 190.00
357a. "Decent" Sparky $5,000.00
NOTE: All Sparky tie-ins with the "original" Gang are worth more than contemporaneous series merchandise because most were destroyed after the bad start. The "decent" variants, produced for sale only on Vesta, Callisto, and Ceres, showing Sparky wearing pants, were never shipped, and only one box survived.
358. Sparky and His Gang. Polly $ 100.00
358a. "Decent" Polly $3,500.00
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from The Straight Shit Starpage:
"Where Are They Now?"
6/4/60
by Bermuda Schwartz
You'll never guess who I ran into yesterday in a taproom on the upper levels of North King City. I really don't quite know what to call him. I don't believe the name we all knew him by was his real one, and he can't use the one we knew him by. You might call him "the artist formerly known as Gideon Peppy." Or the Man Without a Name. Or you could tie a dead albatross around his neck and call him Ishmael.
And you know? Clothes really do make the man. Or at least they make the clown. If somebody hadn't pointed him out to me, I never would have recognized him. Okay, I'll fess up. I didn't actually run into him. I don't go to upper-level taverns in North King City, as a rule—in fact, I'd never been in one—but it's the sort of place Not-Gideon Peppy inhabits these days. He had sent for me, and for old time's sake I went.
There's no reason Not-Gideon shouldn't be sipping his vodka-and-beer boilermakers in the cozy country clubs down in bedrock. He's still got plenty of money. It was his balls Sparky took from him, not his wallet. He goes to places where the decor mirrors his mood. And, I found out, because it's only in places like that he can find souls destroyed enough to listen to his tale of woe. And now he had me to listen.
Like some maniacs, Ex-Peppy can present a convincing front for a short time. At first I think he had me confused with that awful Precox person. (Later I found out she'd been by the previous day, found out there was no story there for her clientele, and dropped him like a cold potato. I've never seen why one should lower oneself to the intellectual level of a five-year-old just because... but don't let me get started on that. Please! Period.).
When we had my identity straightened out he regaled me for a while on his plans for a comeback.
Outlined for me several new series he had "in development." Told me of all the big people who were coming in with him on these projects. I almost bought it. The man was influential, had moved in those circles until recently. But now he looked as if he wouldn't cast a shadow at high noon in Imbrium.
Then it was Sparky, who he began talking about in a surprisingly calm, controlled voice. He spoke of the lawsuits he had filed, was soon to file, or intended to file as soon as his lawyer drew them up. He kept glancing at the clock over the bar, saying his lawyer would be there soon and I could hear the whole story from him. By then I was wishing the ambulance chaser would arrive and give me a way to gracefully leave.
The segue into insanity was so gradual I hardly noticed it at first. Then I realized he was talking about a computer chip Sparky had implanted in his, non-Gideon's, head, that enabled Sparky to control his thoughts. The doctors hadn't been able to find it, oh no, Sparky was too clever for that, but Once-Was-Peppy had had his telephone removed, just in case. He was sleeping under a lead canopy because he was at his most vulnerable when he was dreaming.
"I have sonic and static generators running all the time, too," he said. "I'm considering having my skull replaced with stainless steel, like the commandos use. See that guy over there?"
The only person in that direction was a stubble-faced drunk passed out with his face in a puddle of spit on the filthy bar top.
"One of Sparky's spies," post-Peppy confided. "He's here every day, pretending not to watch me. Pretending to be too drunk to notice anything. But I've seen him muttering. He's wearing a wire, somewhere, I haven't figured out where yet. He tells them when I leave here so they can keep track of me. Did you see them, loitering around out there? There's enough of them that no matter which way I go they can keep tabs on me. I've confronted them, but they all look at me as if I was crazy."
There was much, much more, I'm sorry to say. You try to be gentle, you try to be kind, but most of all you want to be out of there. Leaving becomes a frightening process of detaching his clawlike fingers from your clothing, first one hand, then the other, then the first hand again. I thought I was free, backing away with a big smile on my face, when his arm shot out and grabbed me again.