I found the Baileys in their kitchen, putting away their new pots and pans.
“Meg, you’ve done a superb job with this room. How would you like to come to dinner Saturday? We’re having a few people in, and we’d like to show you off. We know the house isn’t finished, but we can’t wait. Besides, the weather will be changing soon, and we want to take advantage of the warm days. We’ll entertain mostly outside on the deck. But we can’t wait to use the kitchen.”
“Sounds great.” I marked the date down on my calendar. “What time?”
“Sevenish.” Mrs. Bailey answered. “Oh and bring your husband.”
I wished I could. Andrew would never agree to it. Or would he? Maybe I’d ask and see. The worse he could say was no. It wasn’t like I was asking him to move back in or something. Besides, I wanted him to see my work.
I left excited at the idea of asking Andrew, though I didn’t feel as good as the first time I left here. That time, I had Andrew to share my good news.
The compliments from the Baileys renewed my self-confidence, and hopefully they’d like the remaining rooms just as much. If only I could call Andrew.
What would I do if he divorced me? I supposed I’d survive or could I win him back? I won his heart once. Could I do it again? The only problem was it wasn’t his heart I needed to win this time. It was his head. I had to regain his trust. I just didn’t know where to start.
Andrew still loved me, and I knew how hard he struggled with the thought I’d been with another man. How would I react if the situation was reversed?
Would I be able to forgive him? I wasn’t sure. I loved Andrew, but even trying to picture him with another woman tore me apart. I didn’t blame him. Maybe with time. At least, he was coming around again. That was a good thing. And he had read the books I gave him. At least we carried on decent conversations again.
If only I could go back and undo the wrong. It wasn’t my character to give in to impulses. For the life of me, I still couldn’t figure out what kind of hold Paul had over me? I had resisted other attractive men. Why not him? It was as if he cast a spell on me or something.
My doctor had suggested I seek professional help, partly to deal with being shot, my emotions, and a lot about me and Andrew. I had to set up appointments for Jason and Julie, also. It had taken its toll on them, especially Julie.
She missed her father and blamed me. Our relationship was badly damaged. Even though Julie still helped with the designs, the spunky teenager had disappeared. In its place a serious, moody young girl, who seldom smiled, let alone laughed. Sometimes, she looked at me with disgust.
It tore me up to watch my bubbly, self-confident daughter turn into a quiet mousy teenager. Hopefully, the psychologist would help. Something had to.
I arrived at the restaurant to find Sandy sitting with a good-looking man. Seemed my sister had more than one guy on the line. I hurried to the table and sat down.
Sandy made the introductions, but I sensed she wasn’t too happy about it.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Allen, Sandy’s colleague asked.
Sandy raised hers in answer, and I ordered one of the same but caught a warning look from Sandy. Okay, she didn’t like the guy. I knew the look.
I started talking about the house, hoping Allen would get bored. To my surprise he started asking questions. Seemed he studied architecture in college, and Victorians were his favorites.
Heck, how was I supposed to know he’d participate in the conversation?
Finally, he left.
“Well, that was interesting. Another beau? You’re full of surprises, Sandy.”
Sandy looked as if she wanted to throw something at me. “Oh pul-lease,” she said. “Give me more credit than that. Besides, he gives me the creeps.”
“What? He’s nice looking, apparently educated, and he sure seems attracted to you.”
Sandy laughed at me.
After placing our orders, I began to talk quietly about Andrew. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he divorces me. I can’t even begin to imagine life without him.”
Sandy looked disinterested, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to talk about Andrew, about our life.
“You won him once, you’ll do it again.” Sandy sounded nonchalant.
Obviously, the subject of Andrew bored Sandy “It’s not his heart I need to win this time. I know he still loves me, and I know he’s struggling with the thought of me and another man.” I brushed the hair off my face.
“I’m still struggling with it. There’s not a day goes by that I don’t look in the mirror and wonder how I could have been so stupid. If I could go back and change it I would.” Tears stung my eyes. God, I had cried so much I didn’t think there were any tears left. ”
“I still don’t know what made me act so reckless. Paul was attractive, but I’ve resisted plenty of attractive men. It was almost like I was hypnotized or something. Do you think that’s possible? Do you think he hypnotized me?” By now the tears streamed down my cheeks, and I couldn’t stop them.
Sandy tried to console me, but not much she said did any good.
Finally, I changed the subject and asked about Sandy’s upcoming trip to Florida.
Sandy stared off across the restaurant, as if she were in a trance.
“Hey, wake up over there. I asked about your trip to Florida. When are you leaving?”
Sandy smiled. “Oh, sorry, next week.” Sandy hugged herself.
“Is Matt going with you?”
“Yeah, can you believe it? I’m actually looking forward to spending more time with him.”
My mind wandered, while Sandy talked with a dreamy look on her face. Definitely smitten. I remembered when Andrew and I had dated. How long ago that seemed now. God, I missed him so much.
We finished eating, and I paid the check. I insisted, since I invited Sandy. Besides, it felt good to pay with money I had earned.
“Let’s invite Liz next time.” Sandy suggested.
“Sure why not?” I liked the idea. I missed Liz, too. Darn, I wished my sister didn’t live so far. Liz hated to drive, especially at night. “Maybe she’ll agree to spend the night, or maybe we can make it a weekend. We haven’t done that in a long time. I’ll set something up.” I got into my car.
“I hope you made an appointment with the shrink. It’s time you accepted it wasn’t all your fault. Andrew shares part of the blame. It takes two to make a marriage. Even if he doesn’t come back, you have a life. You have a great job, terrific kids, you’ll get by.”
“I know you’re right. Thanks for listening.” I waved at Sandy and pulled out of the parking lot.
What Sandy said was true. But no matter how my sister tried to put some of the blame on Andrew, it didn’t wash with me. It was my fault. There was no excuse for it.
I got home and noticed the light on my answering machine blinking. It was Liz. Had my sister read our minds?
“Hi, Meg, it’s me. I’d like to come for a visit if you aren’t doing anything.”
I picked up the phone and dialed Liz’s number. “Liz, Sandy and I were just talking about you. When do you want to come?”
“How about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow, no kidding, that’s great. Fine with me. I’ll give Sandy a call and see if she can join us. Oh, this is going to be fun.”
“Great, I’ll see you then. Love ya. Bye.”
I hung up and dialed Sandy’s number. Sandy wouldn’t be home yet, but I’d leave a message. “Hey I know we just talked about getting together with Liz. Can you believe she just called? She’s coming tomorrow. Can you make it? Call me.”
Sandy called back later. “What a coincidence. I’d love to come. What time?”
I looked forward to it. The three of us hadn’t gotten together like that for so long. I finished some last minute design plans and sat down to watch television.
Jason and Julie came in a while later, grabbed a sandwich and went to bed. I hated the withdrawn look from Julie. At least she still
participated in her school activities. She tried out and made the cheerleading squad. Between that and basketball, she kept pretty busy. I hoped it was because she enjoyed it and not to avoid spending time with me.
Jason made the soccer team and between practice and games, he wasn’t home much either.
I sighed. This should have been the best time of my life, and here it was falling apart. I got up and went to bed. No point wallowing in self-pity. I’d done enough of that. It was time to move on. Time to take control of my life. If I had to do it without Andrew, then so be it.
The next morning I woke up, saw the kids off to school and stripped the beds in the spare room. After putting on clean sheets and running the vacuum, I decided to run a few errands and stop at the grocery store for goodies before my sisters got here.
I arrived home to find my sisters’ cars already in the drive. I pulled into the garage and hurried to greet them.
Liz held something in her arms.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“I thought you needed a permanent friend, one who won’t question you, talk back, or leave you.” Liz handed me a tiny buff colored puppy with a big red bow.
“What? I...oh,” I stammered. “He’s adorable ... or is it a she?”
“He’s a cocker spaniel. He’ll get just big enough you won’t be afraid he’ll break and small enough to still sit on your lap,” Liz answered.
I laughed as the dog licked my face. “He’s so sweet. What’s his name? Where did you get him?” I motioned toward the door. “Come inside. I love him already.” I liked the way the dog cuddled close to me. “Just wait until Jason and Julie see him.”
“I got him from a friend whose dog had pups. I thought he’d be perfect for you. His name is up to you.”
Liz and Sandy followed me inside.
“I brought you some dog food and a crate Shelly lent me until you can get your own. He’s house and crate trained.”
“I don’t know anything about dogs. Crate trained?” Pets were a big responsibility, and I wasn’t sure I wanted to handle it right now. Still, he was adorable. Liz shouldn’t have been so presumptuous. Just because she loved dogs didn’t mean everyone else did. Still, he was cute. Not that it mattered, the minute Julie and Jason saw him it’d be a done deal. Guess I had a dog.
“Yeah, when you leave the house put him in the crate, and at night he sleeps in it. He doesn’t mind. Sometimes he goes in there himself, just to get away from everyone.” Liz set the small container of dog food on the counter.
“So Sandy, what’s new with you? I hear you and your detective are becoming pretty friendly.”
Sandy blushed. “What’s with everyone calling him my detective? He has a name, remember.”
“Come on, sis, you’re spending a lot of time with him, and he even took you to meet his family. Surely there must be something between you?” Liz wasn’t going to let up. “I hear he’s going to Florida with you.”
“Okay, okay. What do you want to know? Yes, I met his family. Yes, he’s going to Florida with me. Yes, I enjoy his company. And yes, I’d like something more from this relationship. But...”
Just then, Jason bounded into the kitchen. “Hey, Mom. What’s to eat? Hey, what’s that? Oh, hi, Aunt Liz, Aunt Sandy.” He hurried over and kissed each of them.
“What’s what?” Julie strolled in after him. “Oh, whose is it?”
“He’s ours,” I handed the dog to Julie. “What should we name him?”
“Wow, is he’s really ours? Let me hold him, Julie.” Jason tried to take the puppy from his sister.
“I’m holding him.” Julie giggled as the dog licked her. “He’s too cute, I love him. Can we name him Buffy?”
“That’s too sissy,” Jason said, “He needs a masculine name, like Tyler, or Harley. Yeah, I like Harley.”
“He’s not a motorcycle.” Julie stroked the dog and kissed the top of its head. “What do you think, Mom, do you have any ideas?”
“How about Harvey?”
“Harvey...” Jason said. “Hey, I like that. Hey, Harvey, come here boy.”
Julie put the dog on the floor when he tried to wriggle free, and he immediately went to Jason.
“Well, I guess he likes Harvey. He answers to it already.” I couldn’t help but laugh.
Liz brought the crate in and put it in the kitchen. “Shelly recommends he sleeps in here until he’s used to your routine, that way no accidents. He’ll hold it through the night, but make sure you take him out the minute you get up — he can only hold it so long. And make sure you take him out before you go to bed.” Liz looked at the kids while she spoke.
“He’s three months old, so Shelly had some time to train him. She even taught him a few tricks. He’ll sit and come on command. He’s very well behaved.”
That evening almost felt like old times. After dinner, the kids played with Harvey, laughing and joking with each other the way they used to. He was an energetic little dog, but he finally stopped running and fell asleep. It was great to see Julie and Jason laugh again. Leave it to Liz to come up with the right solution.
Since Liz and Sandy were spending the night, I had rented a movie and decided to pop some corn after I sent the kids off to bed amidst kisses and hugs.
“Thanks, Aunt Liz, for Harvey,” Julie and Jason said in unison.
How often my kids did that. They were so close and so in tune to each other. Andrew and I used to laugh when they were little and both said the same thing at the same time. They had never outgrown it. Funny, the little things you remembered. It was great to see Julie happy again.
I lit the fireplace to take the chill off the evening air, and the room felt cozy and warm. I curled up in front of the television with my sisters. A feeling of contentment spread through me that I hadn’t felt in a long time.
I liked spending time with my sisters, and there was much to talk about. I, of course, talked about my job and Andrew. Sandy talked about Matt, since Liz and I wanted to hear every detail of her meeting his family and their upcoming Florida trip.
“Sounds like things are starting to get serious,” Liz pulled a strand of Sandy’s hair. “I think our sister finally found someone.”
I agreed, and we giggled and laughed as if we were teenagers. It was almost three in the morning when we decided to go to bed.
“You have no idea what this means to me,” I said, hugging my sisters. “I really appreciate you two.” I picked up Harvey and cuddled him “I think Harvey will sleep in my room tonight.”
After they kissed me goodnight, Liz and Sandy went into the spare room with the twin beds and turned off the light.
I slid out of bed. I knew my sisters and remembered how they used to sneak into my room when we were young. I hid behind the door next to the light switch and waited.
It didn’t take long.
There was just enough light from the window for me to see. The door opened, and my sisters tiptoed into the room and pulled the covers back on my bed.
I was ready for them.
I flipped on the overhead light. “Ha! Gotcha this time. I knew you’d pull something like this. Come on get in, the bed’s big enough for all of us.”
Giggles continued long into the wee hours of the morning, but finally we fell asleep.
Chapter Fourteen
About eight o’clock the next morning, Sandy got up and forgot about Harvey until she almost stumbled over his crate. I was right behind her.
“Sorry there, bud,” Sandy said as I opened the crate.
“Come on boy, let’s go.” I called, and Harvey walked next to me as we went down the steps. I let him out the back door.
“Lucky thing the yard is fenced in.” I closed the door and went to make coffee.
Sandy took three cups out of the cupboard, and I opened the refrigerator and brought out a box of Krispy Kreme donuts. Liz came in the kitchen, running her fingers through her hair and yawning.
“Donuts, just what I don’t need,” Liz said.
“Yeah, like either of you have to worry about your weight.” I picked up a donut in defiance. “I’m the only one that has a problem.”
I looked at my two attractive sisters. Even though I had lost weight during my recovery and looked the best I had in years, I still envied them. Liz always looked great. And Sandy, at least at this time in her life, was able to eat whatever she wanted. Dad used to call her hollow legs. That girl ate more, even as a child, then anyone I’d ever seen.
With that thought in mind, I looked at the chocolate crème-filled donuts and inhaled the yeasty smell as I bit into it. I savored the rich chocolate flavor as the silky cream rolled around my tongue. God, I loved chocolate.
“I just thought of Andrew’s reaction to Harvey. He isn’t particularly fond of dogs, doesn’t like the thought of getting dog hair all over his suits. At least that’s the excuse he used when I suggested getting one when the kids were little.” I shrugged. Tough he can’t have everything his way. “Oh well, he’ll have to deal with it now.”
I opened the door and let Harvey in, bent down and ruffled his fur. “He’s just going to have to get used to him when he comes back. Harvey’s cute, but I don’t think he can replace Andrew.”
Liz picked up the dog food she had brought, and opened the cupboards looking for a bowl. “Where do you keep your plastic bowls anyway?”
“Bottom cupboard to your left. Isn’t that where everyone keeps them?” I pointed to the bottom cupboard and laughed. It felt good to laugh again. Felt good to be alive. I hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Andrew or no Andrew, I knew I’d make it. With my family’s love and support how could I not? Eventually, I’d earn the love and respect back from my kids. Andrew remained to be seen.
I knew with or without him, I’d make something of myself. For the first time in my life, I felt worthwhile. Not like I felt when the kids were babies and depended on me. That was a whole other feeling. One I wouldn’t trade for all the money in the world. But now that they were grown, I finally felt like a whole person.
Another Day (Books We Love mature romance) Page 12