That was it! I felt whole for the first time in my life. Not half of someone else. Not part of another being. Just me.
Harvey waited patiently for his food, his stub of tail and hind end wagging to beat the band. I pushed Liz out of the way. “I swear you’re all thumbs in the kitchen. How do you manage by yourself?” I pulled out a bowl and handed it to Liz.
She measured out the dog food and set the bowl on the floor. “I think you’re going to like having him around.”
“I think so, too.”
After the kids left for school, slightly on the late side since they found it hard to tear themselves away from Harvey, Sandy, Liz, and I sat down to a relaxing cup of coffee.
“How are you doing, Meg?” Liz’s face showed her concern.
“I’m feeling better. I still get tired, but I’m okay.”
“You know that isn’t what I meant.” Liz looked frustrated “I mean, how are you really doing? Have you made an appointment to see Dr. Keller yet?”
“No, I keep putting it off. You know the hardest thing to deal with is Andrew. Oh sure, I still have nightmares and see Paul’s face the way he leaned over me that day, but I think I’m dealing with that okay,” I answered.
“It was hard when I went to the Baileys the first time. I got out of my car scared out of my wits. I mean I knew Paul wasn’t there but.... Anyway, Mr. Bailey came out to meet me, which helped.” I shuddered at the memory of Paul coming around the car in front of me. Would I ever forget it? I didn’t think so.
“The Baileys have been so supportive. They could have turned their backs on me, but they didn’t. Mrs. Bailey said I wasn’t the first woman to make that mistake. Most of them just don’t get shot so no one was the wiser.” I rearranged the salt and pepper shakers while I spoke, a nervous habit that used to drive Andrew up the wall.
“I really think you should talk to Dr. Keller. She’s really good, and I think she’d help you. This is a lot to deal with. The guilt alone is eating you alive.” Sandy piped in.
“You know me too well, Sandy. I promise I’ll make an appointment soon.” I went to the sink and wiped the counter.
“Why not call now?” Liz suggested. “You have to quit putting this off. It’s not going to go away, Meg. You can’t solve all your problems by ignoring them.”
“That’s a good idea.” Sandy agreed.
“I thought we’d do some shopping after breakfast and then do lunch. Do either of you have any ideas? I know you both want to leave while it’s still daylight.” I started babbling, and tried to change the subject. “I swear I don’t know how either of you gets around with your silly fear of driving. So we’ll make it an early day. I have to work on the bathroom plans for the Baileys later, anyway.”
“Sounds good.” Liz stood up, picked up my phone, and handed it to me. “We’ll do whatever you want AFTER you make the appointment.”
“Liz is right, Meg. You can’t avoid this. You already made one for Julie and Jason. Why not for you?”
I looked from one sister to the other. They weren’t going to give up. I grabbed the phone from Liz, found the number, and made the call.
Finally, I hung up. “Okay, are you two happy now?” I wrote the appointment on the calendar. “Can we go shopping?”
“Sure, where do you want to go?”
“Well, I think a trip to the pet store is the first place to start. Do you two want to tag along or do you want me to drop you someplace else?” I asked. “There’s a whole big shopping center to entertain you.”
“The pet store is fine. I need cat food anyway.” Sandy took another donut and bit into it.
“Okay, but lunch is my treat.” Liz reached over the counter and wiped cream off Sandy’s chin. “I swear girl, we can’t take you anywhere.”
Sandy and I laughed and, after we finished off the last of the donuts, we went upstairs to change to get ready for the day.
“Here it is.” I pulled into the parking lot of the pet store. “Did you ever see such a big pet store in your life? I mean look at it. It’s like a grocery store.”
“You should have made a list,” Sandy said. “All I need is cat food.”
“That’s why I brought you two along. Let see, first I’ll need a crate,” I said, “then what else, oh yeah, a bowl for his food. Help me out here, Liz. You’re the one with dogs. What else do I need?”
“You’re doing fine so far. You’ll need a leash so you can walk him. Dogs need a lot of exercise, so someone will have to walk him every day.”
“How about a book? Uh...or books. Gees look at all the choices.” Maybe having a dog wasn’t such a good thing. Walking him would definitely fall to me since Jason and Julie weren’t home much. Shoot, what had I let myself in for?
“Here’s one on Cocker Spaniels.” Liz picked up a book. “Shelly said you might want to get one on training too.”
“This place is overwhelming,” Sandy said, as we walked through the store. “Look at all the choices of dog food.”
Liz pointed out the brand Harvey was used to, and I picked up a twenty-five pound bag. When we got to the toy and treat aisle, I went a little overboard. Between food, treats, the crate, and toys the cart was so full - I could barely push it.
“I don’t think I spend this much time shopping for groceries.” I wrote out a check at the register and went to lunch. “This was really fun. We should do it more often.”
“What, shop for dog stuff?” Liz joked. “Next time let’s take Mom to lunch with us.”
“Lunch would be great, but I don’t think she would have liked the pet store,” Liz answered. “But who knows, maybe in the near future we might be able to.”
“What are you talking about? Are you moving back to Hawthorne?” I slapped my sister’s arm. “Are you, Liz?”
“Nothing’s definite, but there’s a good possibility I may be opening my own shop in Trenton. I’m holding my breath until I hear. But it looks good. Don’t tell Mom, I don’t want to disappoint her if it falls through.”
“You knew about this all this time, and you’re only now telling us.” Sandy hit Liz’s other arm.
“Brat!” I said. “Why are you always so secretive?”
Liz had always been the secretive one. This wasn’t the first time she held back telling us something. But usually it was bad news. This was great. I hoped the deal went through. At least Trenton was closer than Fremont. A whole lot closer. Shoot, Trenton was just down the street from here. Now, if only Sandy would move back. Not that forty-five minutes was that long, but in the winter Sandy hated to drive it.
“Really.” Sandy piped in. “What’s with you and your secrets?”
“I didn’t want to get anyone’s hopes up. I’m just praying it goes through.” Liz crossed her fingers. “I think it’s time to come back, put the past behind me. Start over.”
“Oh. I hope so too. It would be so good to have you close again,” Sandy hugged Liz again. “I promise I won’t utter a word to Mom, but you better call me the minute you find out.”
“Trust me. You two will be the first to know.” Liz promised.
“Speaking of secrets, what’s going on with those phone calls? Please tell me they’ve stopped or they caught the guy.”
Sandy shook her head. “I wish. No, they haven’t stopped. The guy’s a real wacko, you ought to hear the stuff he says.”
“Oh, my gosh, you don’t answer, do you?” I was beside myself with worry. It was one thing to get the phone calls, but quite another to listen to them.
“No, Matt said to let the answering machine get it even if I’m home.”
“He’s never made personal contact, has he?” Liz grabbed Sandy’s arm. “Tell me he hasn’t made personal contact.”
“Whoa, relax.” Sandy rubbed her arm. “Of course he hasn’t. If he had they would have caught him by now. With just the phone calls coming from an unknown cell phone, they have little to go on. Listen, I have to go. Liz, you make sure you call when you find out if you’re moving back or n
ot.”
“You can count on it.” Liz hugged Sandy and then me. “I’ll call as soon as I find out.”
I hugged my sisters and got in my car.
Chapter Fifteen
Andrew stopped in later that evening. The kids were at a basketball game.
“What are you doing with that?” He pointed at Harvey. “Meg, whose dog is that?”
Not that he could resist stooping down to pet the dog, as the puppy looked up at him with those big brown eyes. Andrew laughed.
“He’s a cute little thing.” A dog of all things. His wife was full of surprises. Not that it should be that much of a surprise, he guessed. Meg had begged for a dog when the kids were little. She even tried that old argument on him about a boy and his dog. Not that it worked. He didn’t much care for animals.
Darned nuisance most of the time. You had to clean up after them. And no matter how the kids promised to do it, they never did. Then if you went on a vacation, you had to take them along or make arrangements for someone to watch them, or board them. Just too much work.
Still, he was a cute little thing. Reminded him of Liz’s dog, Gussie.
“Liz brought him for me yesterday.” Meg leaned down and picked Harvey up. “I’ve grown quite attached to him. And Julie and Jason are madly in love with him. He seems to have wormed his way into our hearts.”
“Hmm, well I guess you’re keeping him then?” Andrew patted the top of Harvey’s head. May as well make friends. Looked like he was there to stay.
“Oh, there’s no doubt about that. Is there, Harvey?” Meg kissed the top of the dog’s head and set him down.
“Well, he might take some getting used to.” Suddenly, he liked the idea. He missed Meg, missed the kids. He wasn’t cut out to be a bachelor. Sure, he was gone a lot, but the emptiness when he came home was almost more than he could bear.
He studied Meg. She looked tired. She had lost more weight. The way her blouse clung to her breast and outlined her waist turned him on. He wanted to take her in his arms, kiss her, make love to her the way they had before his world exploded.
Yet, he still couldn’t get the picture of Paul and Meg out of his head. It was as if it was imprinted there.
Andrew played with Harvey. “How have you been? You’re back to work; how was it?”
“Great. Just being able to go out and see people again feels good. Have you had dinner? I was just about to make myself something—the kids are eating out.”
“No, I haven’t. I wondered if you wanted to go out and get something, or would you rather stay in?”
“That sounds great. I don’t have much here anyway. I was just going to make a sandwich. Let me freshen up.”
“You look fine to me,” Andrew spoke in a whisper. Hell, she looked better than fine. She looked fantastic. Sexy as hell.
***
“I’ll just be a minute. Play with Harvey.” I hurried upstairs. My insides did a little dance. Ha, little dance was hardly the way to describe it. My insides did a jig, my heart raced, and my legs barely held me up. This was the first time Andrew suggested being alone with me. Up until now, when he found out the kids weren’t going to be home, he stayed a short time and made an excuse to leave. Now he was asking me out. Was he coming around?
I stared at myself in the mirror. He thought I looked great. He hasn’t said that in a long time. I applied lipstick with a shaky hand, smoothed my blouse, and ran a comb through my hair. Should I change? Would that look too conspicuous? I decided to change my blouse. What the heck, I had this one on all day. One last look in the mirror, and I was ready.
Our conversation at dinner consisted mostly of small talk about the kids, our jobs, Harvey, a book we both read. I couldn’t remember the last time we had gone to dinner alone.
“This was nice,” I said when we came back home. Jason and Julie would be home any minute, and I wouldn’t have any more time alone with Andrew. I wished I had the guts to reach up and kiss him. But I didn’t want to push it. It had to come from him.
“I enjoyed it. It’s been a long time since we spent any time alone, hasn’t it Meg?” Andrew took my hand and held it to his lips.
My insides melted at the look in his eyes. Could that be desire? A spark of electricity shot up my arm. “A very long time,” I whispered, afraid to hope for anything more.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since I left. I know it wasn’t all your fault. I hadn’t been paying much attention to you. I guess I took our love for granted.” Andrew released my hand, ran his fingers through his hair, and looked away.
“I’m still having a hard time with this, but I miss you.” He looked at me again and kissed me lightly on the lips. “Maybe we’ll work it out eventually.”
“Andrew, I... I... What I mean to say is...” Oh Lord, now was not the time to get tongue tied. “I miss you too.” I took a deep breath. “I made an appointment for me and the kids to see Dr. Keller. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea for you to come, too. This is our problem. Maybe, with help, we can all get through it together.” His kiss had given me a spark of hope.
“Maybe... I don’t know, Meg. I’m not quite ready for that.” He brushed his lips across my cheek. “I won’t make any promises.”
“Hey Mom! Dad!” Jason yelled as he ran into the house. “Hey Harvey, hey boy. How you doing, buddy?” He bent down and ruffled the dog’s head and scooped him up, then let him back down when he squirmed.
I laughed. For as quiet as Jason was, he always bounced into a room loud and boisterous.
“Daddy!” Julie ran and spun her father around in her excitement.
“Whoa, you’re going to knock me over. I’m not a young man anymore.” Andrew laughed, hugged his daughter, and twirled her around the room.
***
God, he missed this. What was he doing? Why didn’t he quit this foolishness and come home. Work it out as a family? He was so tempted to tell them he wanted to come home. But he held back.
He had to think this through. Him, Mr. Impulsive, wanted to think it through. It was almost a joke. But he had to be sure. He didn’t want to come home and build resentment between them. Nope, they had to work it out first. He had to work it out.
He loved this woman. There was no doubt about that. Missed her like hell. Nothing was ever going to change that. Could they make a go of it again? Could he get over her betrayal? He liked her new look, the way she wore her hair. Something about her seemed different. The way she carried herself. More confident, that was it. It suited her. Reminded him of the Meg he met and fell in love with.
He couldn’t resist kissing her. He loved the way she tasted. For just a second, he wanted to throw caution to the wind and take her upstairs. But only for a second. Paul’s face intervened. Was he ever going to get over that? He hated that bastard. Hated the way he ruined their lives.
Maybe he should go with them to see Dr. Keller. But he wasn’t sure if he could talk to a stranger about this. Bare his soul. And he didn’t hold much stock with psychologists. Besides, it was a woman. Wouldn’t she take Meg’s side? Blame him? No, he wasn’t ready for that yet. Maybe later. But not now.
Harvey yipped at their feet.
“How do you like Harvey?” Julie picked up the dog and hugged him close to her. Harvey licked her face.
“He’s okay.” Andrew patted the top of Harvey’s head and smiled. “He’s okay.” Another thing to get used to. Maybe he was wrong to never want a dog. He liked Harvey. The fact that Meg made the decision to keep him without consulting him surprised him. But why should she consult him, he left. He didn’t live with her anymore. She could do what she wanted. And obviously, she was.
He got ready to leave, kissed Julie and Jason and patted Harvey one last time. He looked at Meg. If the kids hadn’t been there, he probably would have taken her in his arms. He wanted to all night. All through dinner he wanted to touch her.
He smiled at her, put his hand to her head and moved a strand of hair behind her ear. He left it there for a second an
d slid it down along her cheek. “I’ll see you later.”
***
I stood there, his hand on my cheek, staring into his eyes. I wanted him to kiss me. Wanted to feel his arms around me again. I wanted him to come home where he belonged.
For just a minute, I thought he was going to kiss me again. But, he dropped his hand and turned to leave. I followed him to the door. It was now or never. “Andrew...I...uh my clients are having a party Saturday evening, and I wondered if you’d like to go with me.” I held my breath, let it out, and continued. “The house isn’t finished yet, but they wanted to take advantage of the nice weather. You’ll get to see the kitchen.”
“That sounds great, Meg. I’d like that. What time?”
I just asked him on a date? Me, shy, reserved Meg? And he said yes. I’d get to spend an evening with him away from the kids. Away from the house. I liked the idea. Liked the idea of him seeing my work. Sure he saw plenty of it in our own home, but this was different. This was my job. Something I did by myself. With no interference from anyone.
“About seven. Do you want to pick me up or meet me there?” I hoped he’d pick me up, but wasn’t pushing it. If he didn’t want to spend that much time with me, I’d give him an out.
“I’ll pick you up. Unless you’d rather meet me that is.”
“No, I’d rather you picked me up, actually.” I should have known better. Andrew had never been one to meet me anywhere. No matter how inconvenient, he always picked me up.
“Okay, I’ll see you Saturday, then.”
I watched him walk to his car. Was that a new strut? He seemed livelier all of a sudden. Was that another good sign? I sure hoped so.
I lay in bed that night, thinking how the day had progressed. First, the news that my sister might move back to Hawthorne, and then the hope that Andrew might be coming around.
He actually seemed to enjoy Harvey too, especially when he and Julie played with him. It had been fun watching Andrew spend time with the kids, laughing and joking the way they used to.
Another Day (Books We Love mature romance) Page 13