On the Hooves of Horses

by Emma Taylor

  Haylie and I had just started high school and because mum and dad often worked through the night, we were responsible for making our lunches, making sure our uniforms were clean, which mind you, with sanders and plastering going on, was not an easy task. For the first two terms of grade 8, we were the girls with a constant veil of dust following us. For the last two terms of grade 8, we were the girls with the shiny, expensive double storey house. I went round the side of the house and headed straight for my ‘promised’ dark room. I sighed when I realised it looked exactly as I had left it yesterday. I grunted and turned on my heals.

  “Hey you,” I heard his familiar silky tone. “Where are you off too?”

  “To go and get changed.” I snapped at Reed.

  “Get changed? But you look great.”

  “To put on some gumboots and some gloves so I can begin work on my darkroom.” I snarled.

  He laughed at me. Oh, how it made my blood boil!

  “You lied to me. You promised me. This is really import—” He kissed me.

  “That’s one way to shut you up.”

  “Reed.” I protested, but he kissed me again. I didn’t exactly resist. Not entirely. Not at all, actually. He makes me so dizzy. Dizzy, fuzzy, like I’m bouncing on air. Even when I’m annoyed with him.

  “Photo lab?” I interrogated, breaking free from him.

  “Photo lab.” He stated with his mischievous smirk.

  “We’ve wrapped up for the day, so Jayde, please would you do me the honour of escorting me to my house so that I can do you the honour of coming true on my promises? Starting with your surprise.”

  “If that was your attempt to steer me off the path…it may just have worked.” I laughed in defeat. It didn’t dawn on me that I had to share the ride to Reed’s house with Ross. I mean, of course there was only one work vehicle parked outside the rusty gate every day. The one that had PERRY’S PAINTING splashed across it. Ross Perry that is. I sat quietly between Ross and Reed, who was driving. I didn’t mind being squashed in the middle next to them. They both had the windows down to let the paint fumes filter, so I felt cocooned between these burly, insulated men. No one talked on the way home. It wasn’t uncomfortable, though. More like a familiar ease. I did start to wonder where Ross lived because I’m pretty sure there weren’t many houses near Reed’s house. We had passed them all. It wasn’t until entering the grounds that it became apparent in my mind. That and once I saw the cottage to left of the end of the driveway. I hadn’t noticed it last night. I must’ve been too distracted by the opulence. An elderly woman stood in the doorway, waving her blue checked tea towel. Her smile was so big, like a five year old on Christmas morning. I glanced at Ross whose smile was the mirror image of the woman before him. I think I heard him chirp with excitement as he leapt from the passenger’s side.

  “Hi love.” He beamed, hugging his robust wife.

  “Hi ya, sweetie.”

  Reed threw the keys to Ross.

  “Hi Auntie Vi.” He smiled sheepishly, clearly bashful in the presence of his relative’s amorous behaviour.

  “Auntie Vi?” he said gently steering me toward her.

  “Auntie Vi, this is someone I’d like you to meet. This is Jayde Miller.” I held my hand out courteously.

  “It’s nice to meet you.” I stated with a smile.

  “Oh come here love.” She bellowed. She wrapped her arms around me.

  “It’s really lovely to finally meet you. This one here’s been rambling on about you.” I blushed.

  “All good sweetie, I promise.” She had such a lovely smile. I felt instantly welcomed.

  “She’s a bit much sometimes.” Reed said quietly as we walked up to his house.

  “Oh, no, she’s lovely.”

  “Yeah, she is, she can just be a bit overwhelming. She means well. They never had kids of their own. Auntie Vi takes everyone under her wing. She thinks we’re all in need of love and she just has a bountiful supply. I love her for it. It can just be full on if you’re not use to it.”

  “She’s very sweet, Reed. You’re lucky to have someone that loves you like that.”

  “Now, I thought we might prepare dinner first then I can give you your surprise.”

  “I’m intrigued. But all I really want is my photo lab. I have tonnes of film to develop.”

  “Patience, Miss Miller. Patience. All in due time.”

  I grumbled. “What’s on the menu?”

  “Herb crusted blue eye travella with fried pink eye potatoes and a mango chutney salad.”

  “Oh my God that sounds good. I can’t wait. What’s my list of to-do jobs?” I asked, arming myself with a kitchen knife.

  “You’re in charge of the salad and selecting the wine.” Yes, score. I didn’t want to scrub potatoes and I can’t cook fish to save myself. I could never get it right. Not cooked enough, over cooked and dry. Salad and wine, easy.

  “There’s a wine cellar at the end of the hall. The door on the right.” Of course he has a wine cellar. I started walking the hallway. I had seen some of it last night, but hadn’t really taken it in. The one overwhelming thing I remember is the amount of glass. It’s everywhere. In the middle of the house, was an atrium, enclosed by glass. Inside was a green house, a private forest. It was really tranquil because the house inside was actually very structured. Straight lines, white, steel, machine made formations, yet there were elements of natural configurations. It really softened up the house. It was the perfect blend of human progress with pure substance. I passed a few doors, but didn’t bother to look in. I was a little curious, but my eyes were transfixed toward the end of the hall. There was a painting hanging on the wall. I instantly recognised it as Rosco Aldino. I knew it was him even before I had saw his signature scribbled in the bottom right hand corner. I hadn’t seen this one before, but his style was so familiar to me.

  “Got lost?” I heard him say behind me. I jumped.

  “No…I just. This picture.” I stammered.

  “You like it?”

  “Like it? My God, Reed. This is Rosco Aldino. He was my muse for, for my entire high school art curriculum. His paintings. His photography. His creativity is so awe inspiring.” I was in a whirl. I just wanted to stand there and study it, but Reed pushed me gently in the direction of the wine cellar. I admit, it was a little annoying, but as I began walking the stairs, lights started to flick on as they sensed my movement. Lights on the floor. Lights on the walls. Soft lights highlighting the framed artwork. I gulped loudly.

  “Reed…these are Aldino originals. How on earth?” I was gob smacked.

  “Door on the right.” He said. “Your surprise.”

  I felt like I was in a trance. Reed had thousands and thousands of dollars worth of artwork. Original artwork. These were not the pieces I had studied at school. My God, what Daniel Roseland would give to see this collection. My hand was trembling as I turned the door knob.

  “Your photo lab.” He whispered. Here before me was indeed a photo lab. A sophisticated, organised and spider free, (very important) photo lab. I searched for words. The correct words was what I was hoping for.

  “Wh, wh, how? What?” Nope. That wasn’t it. Reed took my hands in his.

  “Rosco Aldino was my dad.”

  I spun around. It can’t possibly be true. There were unpublished photos lining the walls. I know his work. It is true. But how?

  “But your surname is Harper. How does that fit?”

  “My dad’s name is Harper. Alan Harper. Rosco Aldino was his pseudonym.”

  “No! Why didn’t I know that?” I amazed.

  “I guess that’s the purpose of a pseudonym.” He smirked.

  “Yeah, fair point.” I laughed. “I am just in awe right now though, Reed. How on earth did I end up here?” I queried.

  “Call it fate, call it kismet, serendipity…maybe a wish on a full moon.” He spoke softly. Full moon. I recalled his wish he had made on his father’s anniversary. I remembered the night at the park. It was a
full moon then, too. I turned to face him. “You really do think things happen for a reason.”

  He takes my hands in his. “I haven’t been in here, Jayde, since my father died.”

  “Reed, you don’t have-”

  “I want to Jayde. I needed to come down here. I had no idea that you even knew who he was, but I knew this room needed to see talent again. You deserve more than a backyard shed for your work. Please, you’d be helping me more than I’d be helping you.” He was sincere. “I really thought this would be painful for me, but sharing this moment with you has made me feel optimistic, Jayde.”

  Was this really happening? This gorgeous man in front of me, the use of this elite equipment, access to my mentor’s work?

  “Thank you, Reed.” I said, tears welling. He tilted his head like a curious puppy and stroked my cheek.

  “Thank you, Jayde.”

  Reed leant down to kiss me. He drew me into his body, pressing firm against mine. His hand ran through my hair as he manipulated my head to co-exist with his. My body began to burn with desire. I wanted him so bad. I could feel myself getting excited. I knew I was in the heat of the moment because I stopped thinking. I let the complete feeling of desire take over. It washed over me and any inhibitions I had, simply disappeared. Whilst I fumbled with my buttons on my jeans, Reed very coolly took control. If he was at all nervous, he did an amazing job to hide it, only once letting it shine through. He slipped my jeans and undies off in one movement. My top and bra followed. I stood there exposed in front of my dream man, while he was fully clothed. He stood gazing at me, looking me up and down. Taking it all in. If it had been one second longer, I think I would’ve burst with desire.

  “God you’re beautiful.” He said. He then undressed himself. Now it was my turn to look at him, exposed and vulnerable. He was spectacular in his naked form. I was so turned on, I just wanted to jump on him. Reed reached for my hands, intertwining them with his. He gently kissed my collarbone, making his way down to my now erect nipple. I grabbed the back of his hair and pushed him onto me. Oh, God, how can I handle this! I was screaming in my head. My body was pushing up against his. Every inch of my skin was prickling with desire. I wanted him. Reed wrapped his arms around my hips and again in one sweet movement lifted me up onto the bench. With my legs dangling over the edge, he laid me down softly. He began kissing my torso as it lurched with eagerness. With his firm, masculine hands holding my pelvis down, he started to pleasure me like no other had. Just when I thought I couldn’t take anymore, he moved me from one state of bliss to the next. We sat facing together, but I was in control now. We moved with each other, groaning in lust. I still couldn’t get enough. What started as gentle seductiveness was now a frantic, almost animal instinct. We danced in unison and sang in unison.

  * * *

  Dad greeted me cheerily when I returned home from Reed’s place.

  “Hey, baby girl.”

  “Hi Dad.” I wonder if he could tell I just had sex. Don’t think, Jayde.

  “You been at Reed’s?” He asked. Damn, he knows for sure.

  “Yep.” Don’t think that satisfies his curiosity.

  “I met his Auntie, Ross’s wife. They live on the property.”

  He looked a little more relaxed with that comment.

  “Well, maybe we should get him round for tea. Invite his parents, too.”

  “Oh, well.” I began.

  “Well, honey if you’re not serious about him.”

  “Dad, no it’s not that. I like him. It’s just, well his mum left when he was four years old and his dad died last year. So it’s only him. Well, him and Ross and his wife Vi.” I explained.

  “Oh dear. Poor boy. Still, I think your mother and I should spend some time with him if he’s important to you.”

  “Sure, Dad. Just give me some time first to see how important he is to me.” I’m sure Haylie never had this conversation. Seb had always been a part of our lives. His dad and our dad worked together. They had known each other since High School. Both mum and dad were bridal attendees at Sebastian’s parent’s wedding. So, no. Haylie definitely didn’t get this awkward father daughter talk.

  I went to sleep thinking about the amazing experience I had with Reed, hoping I’d wake with a smile on my face and a tingle in my belly, but only woke with an emptiness in my heart and fear in my mind. Haylie. Haylie. Haylie.

  Her skin looked like it was dying and had become a grey and black mottled colour like the left over ash from a wood fire. Her face was sunken and drawn. As terrifying as that looked to me, it wasn’t the defining image left imprinted in my mind. That was reserved for her eyes. The windows to the soul. Haylie’s were no longer the beautiful, crystal blue eyes I remember. They were black. Her whole eye was like a thick, sticky, black oil slick. They were fluid, there was movement, but it was just black substance, with nothing else. A hole in space. Nothing in front. Nothing behind. Just an empty, black mass. I sobbed. I cried harder this morning than any other day. I feel like I’ve betrayed my sister, my beautiful sister who always looked out for me. I can’t figure out what she wants from me. I’m still living, still breathing. For a moment yesterday, for a long moment, I was really happy. Happier than I can remember. Should I feel guilt over that? I sobbed again, because I didn’t feel guilty at all.

  “Morning sunshine.” Mum greeted me.

  “Or should I say, afternoon?”

  I glanced at the clock in the display room. Crap, it’s already lunchtime.

  “You’re boyfriend has been asking for you.” She added. “He’s rather smitten with you wouldn’t you say?”

  “Coffee.”

  “Oh dear, wrong side of the bed. Listen, I’m off to a tupperware party in about an hour. Would you like to come? It is at the local pub, a lady I met at the tennis club yesterday invited me. I’m sure you would be more than welcome to come along. Of course, we’d have to do something with that hair.”

  “Oh, my, God. Do you even hear yourself?” I blurted.

  “Jayde.”

  “You’re so pompous Mum.”

  “Jayde.” Dad scolded on entry. “Apologise to your mum.”

  “Tennis? Tupperware? The first wives club Louise. Keep up the appearances won’t you? For Christ’s sake, what would your new friends say if they found out you had a daughter who committed suicide?”

  “Jayde.” Dad said calmly. He looked from mum to me and back to mum.

  “Calm down honey. It’s ok. We thought you might want some fresh air. You don’t have to go. We’re here to help.” Oh God. Meds. No.

  “You can’t make me.”

  “Honey, of course not. But we do think it’s worth another shot. Be honest with yourself Jayde. We heard you this morning…”

  “It’s not stopping or even slowing down for that matter.” Dad added his worth. I fought with all my might to keep the tears at bay.

  “How about we do a month’s trial? See how you feel? Come on honey, this is not good for you. This is not normal.” Mum said.

  “Jumping from a cliff face to your death is not normal.”

  Mum touched my shoulder gently. The touch was slight but it transmitted in her own way a feeling of understanding. Perhaps somewhere, out there, a long way away, a butterfly flapped its wings. One tear, two tear and the rest that followed.

  SEVEN

  I didn’t see Reed that day. Or the next. I had myself holed up in my room, contemplating my existence. I mentally said my goodbyes to Haylie. I knew that the drugs would stop my vivid encounters with her. Mum was right. It wasn’t normal. Maybe if I went back on the medication long enough this time, it might stop the dreams forever. I did text Reed. Just to let him know that there was just a few things happening, that it had nothing to do with him. I told him I looked forward to seeing him again, perhaps in a few days. But I guess he thought otherwise.

  TAP.TAP.TAP.

  I opened my curtain and standing at eye level with me was Reed.

  “Reed, what are you doing? You’
ll break your neck.”

  “Nah, I’m up and down ladders all day for a living, remember? It’s you I’ll be worried about.”

  “Huh?”

  “Jailbreak.” He smiled mischievously.

  “Oh no, I’m not going down that.”

  “You got a better idea?” Hmm. He did have a point.

  Once we were in the clear, I let out a laugh.

  “You had that planned the whole time.” I accused.

  “Guilty. We never leave equipment at a work site, but under the circumstances…I was worried about you.” He said.

  “Here, jump in. Warm up.” Oh, the trusty 4x4. His partner in crime. I was relieved to see her though. It was a cold night and I had no intentions of braving it.

  “Good heaters.”

  “I told you, she never lets me down.” Reed reached for my hand as he began to drive from the scrub he had parked in. He kissed the top of it like I was royalty.

  “So, you ok? Pretty intense time hey?”

  “It’s such a long story, Reed…”

  “I have all the time for you. Remember, I’m not jet setting off around the world now you’re here. How about a cup of hot chocolate on the rug in front of the fire? If you want to talk, I’m here, if you don’t, I’m here. We can watch the fire and cuddle. I’m open arms.”

  “At the risk of sounding cliché, where on earth have you been all my life?”

  “Right here babe, wishing on that moon.”

  He did as he said. He listened. He held me. He even cried with me. It was such a release to talk to him about Haylie. He understood my pain. To lose your life source. Even though his was his father, Reed lost his other half, the one he was dependant on. He had empathy that no one else around me could contemplate. I told him about my relationship with Haylie. The big sister who always looked out for me. I told him how I missed her and how at times I couldn’t function without her by my side. I also told him that sometimes I couldn’t breathe, the trauma was so overpowering. I didn’t tell him about the nightmares. But then I didn’t have to. I woke with arms clenched on my shoulders. Shouting. Frantic, panic shouting.