In Blood and Worth Loving 2: Lost Without You

by Marilyn Lee

  “Yes. What other way is it to look at it? I wish to God Conner had enough feelings for me that he’d been reluctant to tell me.”

  “I think you should reconsider, Desi. I think he’s done you a favor and saved you a lot of the grief I’ve had with Jayvyn.”

  Jayvyn.”

  “What kind of grief?”

  Cayenne paused. Had she put an unnecessary negative spin on Jayvyn’s rationale for not telling her? Was she being a fool for ignoring his calls and refusing to see him? She picked up her glass, took several sips, and then told Desiree all that had happened between her and Jayvyn. “So you see, you’ve been spared seeing the repulsive side of him.”

  “So having him ingest your blood was that repulsive?”

  Cayenne frowned. “Repulsive? I didn’t say that.”

  “You said seeing the repulsive side of him.”

  She nodded. “I know, but I meant I found his taking my choice away repulsive. Having him ingest my blood was kind of…sensual.”

  “You liked it?”

  “I’m not sure I’d go that far but it wasn’t unpleasant.”

  Desiree sighed. “Tell me more so I can imagine what it would be like if Conner ever felt compelled to snatch me up into his arms and bury those beautiful teeth of his in my neck.”

  “There’s nothing more to tell. It didn’t last long. Even if I accept your spin on things, there’s still the problem of his almost having killed Michael.”

  Desiree nodded. “But you said he stopped when you told him if he loved you, he’d stop.”

  “Yes.”

  “Doesn’t it follow then that he must have real feelings for you? I know this whole vampire thing is more than a little crazy, but he has the hots for you and I know you feel the same way about him. So why not give him a chance to make amends?”

  “I can’t.”

  “Of course you can. Don’t blow this with him, Cay. I can’t tell you how much I’d love to be in your shoes with Conner.”

  “Nothing’s happening there?”

  “The damn man insists we be friends—without benefits.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “What can I do but be his friend and hope that one day he’ll see the light and discover he’s as crazy about me as Jayvyn is about you.”

  “Oh, Desi.”

  “No. Don’t waste time worrying about me. I’ll be all right. I just have to get used to the fact that he has no sexual interest in me whatsoever and I’ll be fine.”

  “Are you really sure that’s true?”

  “Yes. I am. You are so lucky to know how Jayvyn feels about you. You know what? If I were you, I’d get my ass in gear and go claim him before the she-hussy does.”

  “What she-hussy?”

  “His woman is on her way home to whip him back into shape—or so Conner says.”

  “Oh, yeah? Well, it will be a cold day in hell before she gets him back!” Desiree laughed. “That’s the spirit, girl. Don’t let the fact that she’s a vamp worry you.”

  “I don’t care what she is. She’s not getting him back!” Cayenne rose.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home. I have a lot to think about this weekend. I’ll call you Monday night and let you know what I decide.”

  “Okay, but if you need to talk, call me. I’ll be home.”

  “No date with Conner?”

  She shook her head. “He had the nerve to ask me to spend the weekend with him at a cabin they own in the Poconos.”

  “And you said?”

  “I wasn’t spending another damn night with him until he gives me some cock.” Cayenne stared at her and then laughed. “Oh, Desi. What did he say?”

  “He laughed and said he’d wear me down and that I wasn’t getting any. He threatened to entice me to spend time with him by buying me a horse of my own.”

  time with him by buying me a horse of my own.”

  “A horse? Do you want one?”

  Desiree nodded. “I think I might. I told you I enjoy horseback riding.”

  “So he plans to bribe you?”

  “He says he’s not above it to get what he wants.”

  “And he wants you?”

  Desiree shook her head. “No. He wants my company. Not my body.” She extended her right wrist. A beautiful, diamond tennis bracelet adorned her wrist. “He gave me this.”

  “It’s gorgeous, Desi.”

  “Well, it’s not a $70,000 car, but it cost more than any other gift any man has ever given me.”

  “You’re going to keep it?”

  “Hell yeah. And if he buys me a horse, I’ll keep that too even though I’ve just about had it with that selfish, unfeeling bastard.”

  “But you’re smiling, Desi.”

  “I know. Pathetic, isn’t it? He’s so damned handsome and charming it’s difficult to stay angry with him for more than a few minutes.” Her smile vanished. “Honestly, I just don’t understand him. When we’re out and we encounter absolutely gorgeous women, he keeps his gaze on me. He makes me feel as if I’m the only woman in the world worth his time and attention. But then he refuses to do anything about it.” Cayenne sighed. “Do me a favor, Cay?”

  “Of course. Name it.”

  “Go on a wild ride with Jayvyn. I can’t imagine any man loving you more than he obviously does.”

  “He’s never mentioned love, Desi. If he had, it would make my decision so much easier.”

  “Give him time and encouragement. And lots of pussy before the she-hussy returns.” She frowned. “Damn. I wonder if that’s what’s up with Conner. Maybe he has a she-hussy who’s whoring around the world.”

  “Why not ask him?”

  Desiree grimaced. “Because I’m afraid of the answer. If he says yes, I’d feel crushed because I know I’d never have a chance with him.”

  “Desi—”

  “You know, he did say he and his brothers had stopped dating human women a long time ago. So all his women must be fems. Oh, hell! No vampire loving for me. You’re going to need to enjoy Jayvyn enough for us both, Cay.”

  “He nearly killed Michael, Desi.”

  “Nearly doesn’t count and honestly with the way he’s been pissing all over you, Michael had it coming.”

  “Desi! Jayvyn had no right to behave that way. He nearly choked him to death in front of me.” Desiree shrugged.

  “Desi! You can’t just shrug off his outrageous and murderous behavior.”

  “Look, Cay. He loves you. Unrequited love probably made him a little nuts.”

  “You’re making assumptions, Desi.”

  “Whatever. I say give him a break and admit you like having him around.” She shrugged. “Well, he is kind of handy. He fixed the cabinet doors and the leaking faucets I’ve been after Michael to fix for weeks. And I haven’t had any more trouble from rats since he did whatever he did.”

  “Oh, come on, Cay. That’s not the only reason he’s nice to have around.” She sighed. “I’m going home to think. I just wanted to make sure you knew about Conner.”

  “I do and I’ll be fine. And so will you—once you accept that you’re now a handsome vampire’s woman of choice. Go with the flow and wallow in the knowledge of how deeply you move him.”

  * * *

  Cayenne opened her front door and paused, her nostrils flaring. A faint whiff of Jayvyn’s cologne seemed to hang in the air. She also noted a vase full of red roses on the hall table. She heard Tom Jones’ version of Till coming from the living room promising some lucky woman that he was hers until the moon deserted the sky. “Jay!” She rushed through the house calling him.

  But he wasn’t there. Disappointed, she returned to the living room. A small, expensive MP3 player sat on the coffee table. The song playing was called Soul Song and it was Jayvyn’s voice coming from the speakers telling her nothing in his world could be wrong as long as she was his.

  “Oh, Jay!” She sank down onto the sofa. That’s when she saw the card and the black velvet jewel
ers’ box. She opened the box first. Inside was a beautiful diamond-encrusted heart on an exquisite gold chain. Placing the heart back in its box, she opened the card.

  I ache for you. I need you. I’ve been yours since the night we met. Forgive me and be mine. Yours, until the moon deserts the sky. Jayvyn

  Tears welled in her eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She sucked in a deep, aching breath. “Oh, Jay! What am I going to do? I know I shouldn’t, but I want and need you too.” She’d blown any possible chance of getting back with Michael. But that was all right since she no longer had any desire for a personal relationship with him. It was time to admit the obvious. She’d been Jayvyn’s for the taking almost from the night they’d met.

  How could she possibly want another man after having been in his arms and in his bed? After having felt his incisors sinking into her neck? His cock giving pleasure so exquisite it bordered on pain? Wonderful, sensual, pussy-pleasing pain? After knowing how capable she was of totally enchanting him? When she considered how many women he must have known and bedded, the idea thrilled her. Of all those women, human and vampire, he wanted her.

  She wiped her tears away while a slow smile curved her lips. Her. She managed to suppress the urge to call him and shout that she was his. He was a vampire who would expect to drink her blood and dominate her. Before she called him, she needed to be sure she could handle all the implications of being a vampire’s woman.

  She poured herself a glass of wine, kicked off her shoes, turned out the lights, and sat in the dark listening to Jayvyn serenade her with one love song after another. When she woke, she undressed, took a quick shower, and went to bed.

  The sexy sound of Jayvyn’s voice singing that he’d be lost without her roused her in the middle of the night.

  Bolting up in bed, she looked around. The moonlight revealed a figure silhouetted in her bedroom door.

  Cayenne sucked in a long breath. “Jay!” Sobs of relief shook her body before she jumped out of bed and rushed across the room to him. “Oh, Jay!”

  He engulfed her in a warm embrace before he cupped his hands around her cheeks and stared down into her eyes. “You were right, sweet. I am jealous of him and I have been since the night we met.” She wrapped her hands around his wrists. Not in an attempt to disengage his hands, but just to touch him.

  “There’s no need to be, Jay.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I no longer have any interest in reuniting with him.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because I want to be with you, Jayvyn Minninnewah Redwolfe. Only you.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes. Oh, yes. I’m very sure. I think part of me knew it the night we met, but I sensed a darkness in you and I was afraid.”

  “And now?”

  “And now, as one of your corny songs says, I can almost taste how much I want you.”

  “That sounds like a lot of wanting, sweet.”

  “Trust me. It is.”

  “So can you forgive me?”

  “I’ve told myself that I shouldn’t but I want to be with you so I have to. More, I want to. Despite everything, I want you and I want to be with you.”

  “I’d almost given up hope of hearing you say that, sweet.”

  “I mean it, Jay.”

  He bent his head, pressing his forehead against hers. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself, but I’ve regained control. I’ll make it up to you, sweet. I promise.”

  “Hold me.”

  He released her face, slipping his arms around her. “You know that I utterly adore you. Don’t you?” She lifted her face from his shoulder to look up at him. “Yes,” she admitted. “I do.”

  “What are you prepared to do about it?”

  She stroked her fingers through his hair. “Embrace it and you.” She stroked her fingers through his hair. “Embrace it and you.” He touched her neck.

  A thrill of desire shook her.

  “I need you.”

  Without giving herself time to think, she tilted her head. “I’m yours, heart, body, and soul. So take me.” He slowly slid his hands down her body to cup her ass. He held and kissed her for several minutes, getting her aroused before he released her. Slipping behind her, he held her, pressing his cool lips against the side of her neck.

  Keeping her eyes closed, she moistened her lips. “Take it,” she whispered. “Take my blood. Taste it and me and you’ll know how completely I want to belong only to you.”

  He raked his lips against her neck. “Are you sure? I need it and I want it, but I can wait a little longer if you need me to.”

  Feeling the tension in the body pressed against hers, made her appreciate his offer even more. “You don’t have to wait a second longer because what I want is to give you what you need…everything that you need. I don’t care if you need or want rough sex, my ass, or my blood. They’re all yours, Jay. All of them. So take my blood and anything else I have that you want or need.”

  His teeth pierced the skin of her neck.

  She felt an incredible rush so powerful, her pussy flooded. How had she ever feared this when along with his ingesting her blood came an incredible feeling of belonging exclusively to him? Leaning back against him, she gripped the hand at her waist, pushing it down her body and into her pajama bottoms.

  His big palm slipped down her belly.

  As she felt fingers probing her pussy and his thumb rubbing her clit, she moaned and came.

  Keeping his teeth buried in her neck, he used his free hand to fumble between their bodies.

  She heard his zipper sliding down. Moments later, she gasped when he pressed his cock head against her entrance.

  He then continued to ingest her blood without pushing into her.

  Finally, she realized he was giving her the opportunity to have a measure of control over their lovemaking.

  She eased her hips back. When she felt the big head just inside of her slit, she trembled with a combination of lust and love. Moaning softly, she steadily drove her hips backwards until she totally impaled herself on his big, hard cock.

  Hot damn! It hurt a little, but it was the sweetest pain she’d ever felt.

  Although he shuddered behind her, he held his cock still.

  She loved feeling his length pulsing inside her. Soon, as he drank her blood, he’d shoot jet after jet of cum deep into her pussy.

  Trembling with desire at the thought, she pressed her hands against the big hand he held between her thighs.

  Show me how much you want me. Take your cock, sweet. Fuck me.

  Cayenne felt rather than heard the erotic words. She slowly ground her ass against his groin. A jolt of heat and pleasure shoot along her body. Pinching her nipples with her free hand, she ground her ass against him again. “Give me my cock, Jay. Please. My pussy aches for you. I need to feel it thrusting in and out of me.” Take it, sweet. It’s all yours now so take it.

  She eased her hips forward until only the luscious head of his big shaft remained inside her. Then she propelled her hips and ass back at him until his entire length was buried deep inside her again.

  He rubbed his thumb against her clit.

  She shuddered and eased off his length again.

  To encourage her to take him back inside, he fingered her pussy and brushed his thumb against her clit.

  “Oh…shit! That feels good,” she moaned.

  If you ever actually start fucking me, it will feel even better, sweet.

  She shot her hips backward.

  He pushed his forward.

  Oh, hell, yeah! When she slid off and then back onto his cock several times, he moved his hand from her pussy to grip her hip. “Oh, God, Jay. Please. Please. Fuck me!”

  He shuddered behind her and then abruptly he started thrusting hard into her.

  She bit her lip as shivers of pain sliced through her. Instead of giving her pause or dampening her ardor, the She bit her lip as shivers of pain sliced through her. Instead of giving her pause or dampening h
er ardor, the traces of pain, heightened her passion and pleasure. Surrendering herself completely to him, she tossed her head back.

  “Oh, Jay. Jay…give it to me. Give me every inch of your cock. Brand my pussy as yours alone.” Rocking her hips, she eagerly moved with him, tightening herself around him as he fucked her with long, slow strokes.

  “Oh, God, Jay. Your cock feels so good inside my pussy,” she moaned, reaching back to dig her fingers in his clenching ass. “Fuck me harder and deeper.”

  I don’t want to hurt you.

  “Fuck me hard and deep,” she insisted.

  He sliding his big hands over her hips, he pounded her pussy.

  Waves of pain and pleasure washed over her, submerging her in a sultry, sensual world inhibited only by the two of them. Each wonderful thrust of his big cock back into her ratcheted up her level of desire and her eagerness to fully please him. When the pain started to overpower the pleasure, she gritted her teeth and continued to fuck him back.

  Determined to ensure he never felt the need to turn to anyone else to fulfill any of his needs, she sank her teeth into her bottom lip and rode his cock hard, tightening her vaginal muscles around him until he held her hips still, and exploded inside her, filling her pussy with his cum.

  Only then did she moan and come all over his ejaculating cock.

  Then, overcome with the experience they’d just shared, she slumped against him, feeling replete. “Oh, Jay, that was the absolutely most incredible fuck I’ve ever had. I want more.” He withdrew his incisors, kissed her neck, and lifted her into his arms. “Do you?”

  “Oh, hell, yes.”

  “Later, sweet. I doubt you’re ready for another round and I have no desire to hurt you again.” He brushed his mouth against hers.

  She tasted her blood on his lips. Nice.

  “Right now I just want to hold you, sweet.” He walked across the room.

  She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his body. “You are so sweet. Small wonder I love you,” she whispered.