Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  “No more falling asleep with music on, Frankie. Come on. Get up.” I shook her leg and she whined before curling into the fetal position and burying her head under the comforter. “Okay, I want you up and in the shower by the time I’m done with my workout. Don’t forget Miss Lucas comes by in an hour.”

  I went to my room and tossed on a gray Nike shirt and black Nike shorts, hung a towel around my neck, and headed to the in-home gym downstairs.

  I had to start my mornings with a workout or else my head wouldn’t be clear, I had a ton of meetings and appearances. Today would be the day I needed Xari to pull through if she was serious about being Frankie’s nanny. She would have to pick her up from school, feed her, help her with homework, and hang out with her until I got off.

  I hit the weights heavy and let my mind run wild. The first thing I thought about was the way Xari Lucas looked in that black and white dress yesterday. Goddamn. Something so distracting shouldn’t come in such a pretty package.

  When I finished my last set of deadlifts, my phone rang, stopping the Notorious BIG song that pumped through the speakers. I wiped the sweat from my face and answered the call once I saw my father’s name flash across the screen. I had to be in my right mind to speak to him. I didn’t have the type of father I could carry on mindless conversations with. Every conversation with Warren Freeman had to be calculated.

  “Hey, Dad,” I said pushing out a whoosh of air from my lungs. I sat on the weight bench with my elbows on my knees wanting desperately to get back to my work out. To get back to Biggie. Something about 90’s hip-hop was so raw. The beats hit so hard I couldn’t go a day without listening to it.

  “Van, how are you?” His voice was deep and rich.

  “I’m good. How are you feeling, old man?”

  “Can’t complain. Just got done with my morning run. I hear you’re having a meeting about the art program funding cuts today.”

  “I am. Why what’s up?” I already knew why he was calling. He wanted me to vote his way. That had been the case my entire career. Dad groomed me to move and operate like he did in the senate. Like his father did and like the men before him. We were four generations deep into the senate and now it was all on me to continue carrying out the Freeman legacy. I knew it would stop with me though. I couldn’t see forcing this shit on Frankie.

  I was only going along with it because I’d been conditioned my entire life. I knew the importance of having a Freeman in the senate. Our family had been lucky to have a hand in creating laws that benefitted our community. I appreciated the legacy we had but my father was more calculating with his senate term. He voted on issues that would line our family’s pockets or put future generations of Freemans at the top of the food chain. His goal was to eventually have a Freeman in the White House.

  “You know why, son. I want to make sure you know which way to vote.”

  “I’m voting against the cuts, Dad. I’m not playing these games. Inner-city kids need art programs. Without them, we see criminal activity, gang activity, and homicide skyrocket. You know that.”

  “I also know that there is no Freeman child in any of those filthy inner-city schools so the fate of them is of no concern to us. Cutting funding to those programs will divert more money to the private organizations that support you. One of them being Francesca’s school, Holy Trinity.

  “So, usurp funds from schools that need it to fund schools where parents can afford to pay for their children to have extracurricular art programs?” I laughed because it was a fucking joke.

  “Evander, take your goddamn heart off your sleeve and use your brain. You will vote the correct way. People are depending on it. Most of the others are voting to cut funds to ensure our children stay cultured without it going to waste.”

  “You think funding inner-city schools means the money will go to waste?” I scoffed.

  “Of course it will. Those kinds of kids don’t know how to properly appreciate anything that isn’t rap music.”

  “Dad, I gotta go. I was in the middle of a workout.”

  “Well, fine. Just vote for the cuts. Remember, I want my granddaughter to have every opportunity to excel. I’m trying to set her up for the best possible future.”

  “I know. Frankie is fine though. I can afford to give her any opportunity I want. I’ll call you later,” I said. I pressed end call then took my frustrations out on the weights.

  …

  FIVE

  “Should I keep dressing business casual, or can I switch to casual?” I asked Navy with the phone pinned to my ear. Shoulder length spiral curls dripped shower water down my back as I stared at the remaining clothes in my closet.

  “Until you get the official dress code, keep it business casual. You’re gonna do good today, Xari. I’m proud of you for trying. Even though I got you through the door. The rest is up to you.”

  “Thanks, Navy. Hey, can you do me a favor and not say anything to Mom and Dad about the job? I want to tell them when I actually nail it because I’m awesome and not because I’m your sister.”

  “Okay,” she laughed. “You’re going to have to show them you’re serious about this lifestyle change.”

  “I know. I know. I got this,” I told her, looking in the mirror at my hair. Did I want to wear it up or down?

  “Okay. Call me when you get a chance, I want to know how everything went.”

  “Will do. Bye, sissy.” I made kissing noises at the phone then ended the call. Hopefully I did well in the at-home interview process because I needed a check at the end of the week to start paying my car note. Once I was dressed and my hair was swept up in a high puff with my edges laid, I went into the living room.

  I sat on the couch, staring at the stack of bills on the coffee table. I had to pay car insurance and my phone bill by the end of the month. How the hell did people budget every month? I checked my account balance and blew out a long breath. I pulled up the car insurance app on my phone and familiarized myself with it before putting in my payment information. I had enough to pay it and I wanted to get it out of the way.

  When I finally clicked submit payment, I rolled my eyes and cringed knowing I had to subtract $270 from my account. The screen turned a cheerful green.

  Payment successful!

  I bet it was, bitch.

  I’d never closed out an app so fast in my life.

  “And they just keep taking money every month? How am I supposed to shop like this?” Frustrated, I stood up and checked the time. Shit, if I didn’t want to be late, I had to haul ass now and get to Senator Freeman’s house.

  Which, by the way, TV cameras didn’t do that man justice.

  When I met him yesterday, I was almost at a loss for words. Almost. It takes more than a fine man in an expertly tailored double-vented suit, wearing Ferragamo wingtips to make me lose all my words. That smile of his almost did it. Almost. I’m such a sucker for a well-dressed man with a nice smile. I couldn’t fuck him though.

  One. He was about to be my boss.

  Two. He looked too boring.

  Yes, he was dripping with luxury and style, which already made my pussy wet but I couldn’t handle boring dick. It was a waste and it pissed me off. Senator Freeman looked like boring, mediocre dick that came with a lot of yes darling, and let’s go camping this weekend.

  I called men like him darling dick.

  Fucking. Ew.

  I needed devil dick.

  When I had a fuck buddy, I liked to be his dirty little slut. Not his darling sweetheart. At least not in the bedroom.

  I pulled into Senator Freeman’s neighborhood at 6:50. It took me five minutes to find his house. It was okay though. I had TLC singing me around the neighborhood. I’m sure the neighbors didn’t appreciate someone riding around blasting Creep that early in the morning but they’d be okay.

  I don’t know why I didn’t guess that he’d have the biggest house on the hill. Should have been a no-brainer.

  I pulled around the circular driveway and cut off th
e music. I wanted to sit in the car a little longer and listen to Ain’t Too Proud To Beg but I was trying to be a new person. A more responsible person. My guess was a responsible person wouldn’t arrive at an interview on time only to be late for listening to their favorite song. So, I got out and took slow measured steps until I reached the porch.

  Once I pressed the doorbell, nerves collected in my hands, marching up and down my fingers like lines of ants. I shook my hands loose and wiggled my fingers then shut my eyes for a moment, positioning myself as if I was playing the harp. I imagined playing Ain’t Too Proud To Beg and composed the notes in my head, using my mind like a blank piece of staff paper.

  “Miss Lucas,” Senator Freeman’s deep, gravelly voice made my eyes pop open.

  How much of my invisible harp session did he see?

  “Hi!” I chirped. It took a second for me to realize Mr. Darling Dick wasn’t wearing a suit. He had on workout clothes. The gray Nike t-shirt was darkened with sweat that plastered the damp cotton to his chest like molded armor.

  Damn Senator…

  “You’re early, aren’t you?”

  “No, I’m actually on time.” I stepped in without an invite and moved past him. I liked his foyer. It boasted smooth hardwood floors that were so dark I thought I might tip into the black water. An art deco chandelier hung overhead, and the hallway was flanked with gorgeous art pieces. Hues of serene blue and solid brown danced in each picture.

  “You are,” he glanced at his phone then hurried in ahead of me. “I’m sorry. Time got away from me. Right this way.” He rattled off the layout of the main floor before we stopped in the kitchen. “If you get this job…” He said, scooping protein powder into a blender.

  “When I get it,” I corrected.

  “If.” He cleared his throat and continued, “Will you be willing to make sure Frankie gets a full breakfast in the morning? She knows how to scramble eggs but her issue is waking up in enough time to do it. Will you make sure she eats on the days she doesn’t cook for herself?”

  “Of course.” I was going to have to work on Frankie getting up in time to make her own breakfast because I needed all my beauty sleep.

  “Can you cook?” Senator Freeman added almond milk and a banana to the blender as well then flicked the on switch.

  “Yes,” I said taking a few steps forward so he could hear me. When I got close enough, I smelled his deodorant and clean sweat mixing. Something zipped through my veins. It was hot and quick. “I know how to fix enough stuff to keep us fed,” I told him. He slid his glance over to me and for a split second I saw a fire flicker in those cognac-colored eyes.

  Was I tripping or did the senator eye fuck me?

  I stared at him to see if he’d do it again but he was fixated on the blender. How fucking cute? The stuck up, darling dick senator thought I was hot. He wasn’t wrong but he was definitely barking up the wrong tree. I was too much for him. Even though seeing him dressed down did just as much to my pussy as seeing him dressed up.

  Down girl.

  Now he wouldn’t look at me at all. Maybe I was imagining the eye-fucking. Maybe I was hoping for it. Either way, I brushed it off and continued telling him all the different things I could cook. I didn’t know if that’s what I should do or not but I wanted to impress him so he’d hire me.

  He shut off the blender and poured the smoothie into a cup. “That’s very good. I’m glad you can cook. I know Frankie will be too. That girl can eat.” His eyes lit up when he talked about her. So as long as Frankie still liked me, I was a shoe-in. Hopefully, we still clicked the way we did yesterday.

  Even paced footfalls sounded above then moved closer to the kitchen. Frankie rounded the corner with her pretty face angled down at her phone. She was such a beautiful kid. Her penny brown skin glowed in the sunlight. It made her cheekbones pop.

  When she looked up and saw me, a bright smile stretched across her face. “Xari, you’re here.”

  “I am,” I nodded. “Cute outfit,” I wiggled my fingers at her khaki uniform skirt and white button-down shirt.

  “Ugh, it’s hideous.”

  “It’s plain but it’s supposed to be. Let’s make a deal. You fix yourself a reasonable breakfast and when you get home we’ll go through my clothes.”

  “She has homework.” Senator Freeman frowned at me, a line deepening between his dark brows.

  “Right. Of course.” I smiled making sure to toss a wink at Frankie. “I meant after homework.”

  “Miss Lucas, are you able to use Google Drive?”

  “Yes,” I answered.

  “Good. I expect to see a schedule for Frankie’s activities, homework, and anything else you can think of. I’d need it updated weekly and accordingly. Is that something you can do?” I wanted to mock his buttoned-up tone and mannerisms but I rolled my lips between my teeth and held it in.

  “Absolutely. I’m proficient in the entire Microsoft suite as well as all the Google apps. I can make lists, spreadsheets, and schedules.” I mirrored the senator’s tone and he seemed pleased.

  “Good. If you don’t mind, I’ll get dressed and we can all ride to Holy Trinity and drop Frankie off so you can see the route we take.”

  “I don’t mind,” I smiled. Senator Freeman kept his eyes on mine the entire time we spoke, and it made me wonder once again if I was imagining the eye-fucking.

  When he disappeared up the steps, I looked at Frankie. “How long does it usually take for you to finish homework?” I hopped on the counter and swung my legs back and forth.

  After she gave my shoes a serious once-over, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “If I get homework in all subjects, it takes me over an hour.”

  “Over? So, are we talking an hour and a half? Two hours?”

  “Sometimes an hour and a half, sometimes two.”

  “If you get it done in an hour, I’ll take you to my place and let you go through my clothes`.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Yeah, I have some vintage pieces too.”

  “Okay, you have to let me at least take pictures in some of them and we have a deal.” I extended my hand and we shook on it. I pulled her in and fluffed her ponytail so she’d look even cuter.

  “God, I hope my father doesn’t screw this up for me. If you were my nanny it would be like I didn’t even have a nanny. Just an actual…”

  “Friend?” I smiled softly at her and she nodded.

  “Not to sound all corny though.”

  “You don’t sound corny, Frank. Hey, why don’t you like for people to call you that? I like it. It’s edgy.”

  “It makes me sound like an old man.”

  “Cut it out. You’re so gorgeous that calling you an old man name is an oxymoron. Like calling a big guy Tiny. You’re a knockout so calling you Frank just adds to the appeal.”

  We traded warm smiles. “Oh my god, you have dimples!” She rushed over and poked her finger into my cheek, making me laugh. “When you move in, can we have sleepovers? I know, it’s probably stupid but I’ve never had one or been invited to one.” My heart twisted a little because she reminded me so much of myself.

  “Come here, Frankie. Can I hug you?” I hopped off the counter and pulled her in. I was only a little taller than her in my heels. This time they were Jimmy Choo.

  When we hugged in the middle of the kitchen, I felt like I had my first friend outside of Navy. Was it pathetic that I felt a connection with a twelve-year-old girl?

  “Okay, let’s roll, Team Freeman.” The senator’s voice was loud. It filled up the air and made that same something buzz through my veins again. He strolled into the kitchen and I tried not to bite my lip at the way that man wore a suit.

  He towered over me by at least eight inches. His caramel skin was smooth and didn’t have one wrinkle. His cocoa brown eyes were framed with dark lashes. A bold nose led to a set of full pink and brown lips.

  Such a waste of perfectly fuckable lips.

  He probably couldn’t hold suction on a clit
if his life depended on it.

  I ran my gaze over his close-cut facial hair and trailed down his neck to the silk canary tie and the gray suit jacket stitched around his muscular body. If he ever decided to leave the Senate, he’d have a career as a model. His bone structure was phenomenal. He looked like a fucking superhero.

  “By the way, he says Team Freeman…a lot. Like, it’s obscene,” Frankie told me, rolling her eyes.

  “Noted,” I laughed. We walked outside to a waiting car.

  “I have a driver but he’s only appointed to me. If you don’t mind, I’d assign you as a driver for Frankie.” The driver smiled politely at us all and opened the passenger side. Frankie didn’t waste any time. She hopped in the front seat, leaving me and her father to the backseat. We exchanged glances. His begrudging. Mine amused.

  “Now we get to know each other,” I laughed. “So, what’s your favorite color?”

  He drew in a breath, held it for a second, then let it out slowly. It was almost as if he didn’t know how to handle me. “I’m just fucking with you.” I waved my hand at him and he glared, narrowing his brown eyes to slits.

  “Miss Lucas, we don’t use language like that. Especially not in Frankie’s presence.”

  Something told me Frankie used language just as bad as mine, but I wasn’t going to mention a peep of it to her father. I zipped my lips and flashed an apologetic smile.

  “Won’t happen again, Senator Freeman.” I caught Frankie’s snicker in the front seat. I wished she could feel me shooting playful laser beams at the back of her head.

  “You can call me Mr. Freeman. It’s fine.” The driver pulled up in front of a quaint school with Holy Trinity Private Academy in white uppercase letters running along the top of the brick building. I hopped out with Frankie and looked around at the scattering of kids laughing and talking on their way into school.

  Frankie got out and looked around, then at me. “Will you walk me in, Xari?” I looked over my shoulder to see her father leaning against the side of the black Cadillac, watching. He did not look like he had a twelve-year-old, that was for damn sure.