Whiskey and Regret

by Danielle James

  Sometimes, I’d even pop up at his office with lunch. Bothering Navy and Apollo was a nice little bonus. They both ignored me, which was fine because it meant I got Evander all to myself. It made me realize I needed that alone time with him. I needed to figure out if what I was feeling was solid and not just me thinking with my pussy. Turns out…I fell even harder in one week than I had in more than a month.

  On Friday, while Evander was at work, I was at the house working on my Instagram page. I had tons of new videos to upload and something cute to add to my story. I stretched out on the couch in the formal living room with all fifteen of my candles lit. I was in my happy place.

  My gaze drifted to the end table at the arm of the couch and I saw Evander’s beloved laptop sitting there. He forgot to take it to work. How was he supposed to sneak in words if he didn’t have it? I made a mental note to drop it off and also to negotiate a quickie out of the deal.

  I was in the middle of posting a picture of my sheet music when Nicole Philips called. “Hey, Nicole. How are you?” I smiled against the phone.

  “Xari! Hey! So, I wanted to tell you that you were a hit at the wedding. I have at least seven friends who want you at their parties. Can I give you their information or are you already booked?” My eyes saw nothing but dollar signs. If I did seven events at $300 an hour, I could pay off my consolidated card and work on paying off my car.

  “No!” I blurted bouncing my knee up and down. “I’m not booked at all. If you wouldn’t mind sending them my information…”

  “I’m doing it now girl. I’m at work anyway reading over all these author submissions.” She pushed out a long breath then laughed a little.

  “You’re at work a week after your wedding? I thought you’d still be on your honeymoon.”

  “We took a small honeymoon but I want to do it big when we go. I have some things to finish up here at work and so does Dame. I have to send out five dozen rejection letters to these authors and it never gets better.”

  My ears buzzed at her words.

  “Authors?”

  “Yeah, I’m a literary agent. That’s how I met Dame. He kept submitting his manuscript over and over and I kept being the one to reject him. Finally, his agent reached out to me and explained that he wanted to get his book published traditionally. He didn’t want anything handed to him just because he was a basketball player.” Her laugh was soft.

  “Oh my god, that’s so cute, Nicole.”

  “Call me Nicki,” she said casually.

  “So, Nicki you’re responsible for if books get accepted or rejected?”

  “Yup. That’s me. The bad guy. I swear, we get so many submissions pouring in it feels like all I do is reject authors. Sometimes I forget that I also help my clients.”

  “How many clients do you have?” I quizzed.

  “Now? Only about four. I can handle six to ten at a time though.”

  “If I had a secret author who wanted to know if his or her writing was good enough to get a deal, would you be able to give me some pointers to give them?”

  “Sure. I need a break in the monotony. Can you send me the first three chapters of their manuscript? This isn’t for you is it?”

  “No, not me,” I laughed. I grabbed Evander’s laptop and opened it. I already knew his password because I was nosey like that. I typed in Frankie’s birthday followed by her initials in all caps. “I’m sending it to you now.”

  “Got it!” She chirped. I sent her the first three chapters of Evander’s book, A Heart’s Song. It was my favorite of his because the emotions melted off the page and into my heart. I felt like I was Riley.

  “I’m going to take an hour for lunch and read over it then get back to you with some pointers.”

  “Oh my god, thank you so much, Nicki.”

  “Girl, no problem. After the way you came through for my wedding, I’m more than willing to lend a helping hand.” I thanked her again then ended the call with excitement humming through my veins. It was sweet and sharp like coffee.

  I went back to Sunshine and began practicing. I got lost in the notes of Chopin for an hour when I decided to take a break. I looked at my phone and there were tons of notifications in my inbox. Nicole wasn’t lying when she said she’d sent my information to some of her friends. I had at least five inquiries about playing at various events for other ballers and their families.

  My stomach fluttered and a smile inched across my face. I couldn’t wait to tell Evander. My fingers were hovering over his name when Nicki called me.

  “Hey, what’s up?” I took the time to add hearts to Evander’s contact name in my phone. It was still DD but that first D had an entirely different meaning now.

  “I read through the first three chapters over lunch and…”

  “Oh god, it’s not bad is it?”

  “Xari, I have one pointer for whoever wrote this. Be on the lookout for an acceptance letter in the mail from me because those three chapters were amazing. The writing is so clean, and it sucks you in immediately. It was such a breath of fresh air. Are you sure you didn’t write this?”

  “I’m sure.” I blinked a few times then continued, “Wait so it’s good enough to be published?”

  “I’m shocked it hasn’t been snapped up already. This is the kind of material we’re looking for. God, I haven’t been this excited to read something in a year or more. Do you have the rest of the manuscript? Is the author around? Can I talk to them?”

  “Um…” I chuckled a little because I didn’t think it was possible to be caught off guard by someone who talked a lot. Usually, I was the one who caught people off guard.

  “This person has no idea I sent you those chapters and when he or she finds out they’re probably going to be pissed.” I chewed on my bottom lip and pushed down the ball of nerves collecting in my throat.

  “Ooh. Got it. Let’s do this…I’ll move ahead and submit my advance suggestion to my boss and see what she says. If the number looks as good as I think it will, I’ll send you the offer. That way when you talk to him or her you can also tell them how much we’re willing to pay.”

  “To be honest, Nicki, it’s going to have to be a really nice number because this person already has a lucrative job. They also have notoriety, which is why I’m not telling you who it is.”

  “I can bump up the offer based on name. Is it someone famous?” She quizzed.

  “Not in a celebrity sense. He’s very well-known though. I’m not sure he’d want his name connected to his work because of what his job is.”

  “Ooh, it’s a he. Is he a politician or a pastor maybe?”

  “You’re close. So, you can see why I can’t give you his name.”

  “Right. Let me see what I can do, Xari. I’m willing to make it work to get my hands on this client.”

  “I’ll try on my end too. Thanks a lot.” I ended the call and looked at Evander’s laptop. It was time to push him towards what he loved.

  …

  TWENTY-THREE

  “Senator Freeman, you have a visitor,” Navy’s voice was quiet when she called into my office.

  “Okay,” I sighed. I minimized the window on my computer and pinched the bridge of my nose. Work was overwhelming. Everything was a fight and everyone was out for their own agenda. I could have made more of a difference being a community leader. “Navy, who is it?” I asked into the sleek black intercom system on my desk.

  “Your father, Senator.”

  My back went stiff and my hand dropped to my lap. Why the fuck was he here?

  “Send him in, please.” I minimized everything on my screen that didn’t have to do with work. It felt like the principal was stopping by my classroom to check my progress.

  I stood to my feet and smoothed out my shirt, then swept my eyes around the office to make sure everything was in its place. My father had a way of making off-hand remarks that cut fast and deep. I wanted to avoid those remarks as much as possible.

  “Van, how are you son?” My father stood
the same height as me with identical caramel skin and brown eyes. He had freckles scattered along his cheeks and strands of silver in his hair but those were the only indicators of his age. Otherwise, he looked like my twin.

  “I’m good, Dad. What brings you up here?” We shook hands because he wasn’t the hugging type. I offered him a seat then I sat behind my desk. It gave me a false sense of security. I knew that even though I was in charge, he’d always come in and try to own whatever situation he was in even in my damn office.

  “I wanted to personally see to it that you declined to sponsor the bill that I know is on your desk today.”

  “How do you know what’s on my desk for the day? You stalking my assistant?” It was only half a joke.

  “No. Your assistant would have to be phenomenal for me to stalk her. She’s rather dowdy if I do say so myself.”

  My nostrils flared. I said, “Navy is phenomenal and why would I hire her based on how she looks, Dad? Is that what you did when you were a senator?”

  “I certainly cared about what my assistant looked like. She was a reflection of me. Your assistant looks like she shops at Target for sales and hasn’t ever set foot in a country club.”

  “If you came here to insult my assistant, you can get out.” I lowered my brows and glared at him so hard my head started to throb.

  “She’s not important. You declining that bill is though.”

  Every muscle in my body felt like lead. I was laden with expectations and I was sick of it. I shook my head and ran a palm over my face. “Dad, I don’t feel like dealing with you medaling in my job right now. If that’s all you came for, the door is right there.” I pointed then focused on the computer screen again.

  “You’ve been thinking with your bleeding heart a lot lately, Van. It’s not a good look.”

  “Well, I’m not thinking and deciding based on how it looks.”

  “You should be. You’re going to burn bridges if you keep this shit up. Our family has worked hard to create these connections and you’re spitting on them.”

  “I’m doing this the way I want to and there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m trying to help people.” My words fired out like bullets. I was tired of him griping about keeping money circulating in the affluent communities. I was tired of him always steering me toward decisions that didn’t benefit anyone in middle or lower-class living situations. I wanted to step away from my family name and do what made me happy.

  Shit, not being a senator at all would make me happy. Dad would never hear of it though.

  What about what you want?

  The voice crept into my head sounding very much like Xari.

  Dad’s face was apathetic, and it infuriated me even more. “Are you done with your little tantrum now, Van? Can we get this ball rolling?”

  “I’m not having a tantrum. I’m telling you I’m done doing things your way. I thought the art funding bill would have shown you that. I’m not who you expect me to be, Dad. I’m who I want to be.”

  But are you though?

  Xari’s voice popped into my thoughts again and I wished I could swat it away. She was just as persistent in my mind as she was in real life. “You’ll be who you were raised to be and who I was raised to be, and your grandfather was raised to be. Eventually, Frankie will follow along in our footsteps. It’ll be just in time for the world to accept a double minority from our family into the senate.”

  “No. It won’t. Frankie loves to cook. She’s not thinking about politics.”

  “Cook?” Dad barked out a laugh. “You want my granddaughter flipping burgers in some fast food joint, Van?”

  “I don’t care what she does as long as she’s happy. I’m trying to give her what I didn’t have growing up…a chance to be herself.”

  “Christ, Evander I thought we moved past your mood swings about passions and dreams. It’s garbage.”

  “I’d rather walk away from the senate than keep living this bullshit-ass façade you and Mom keep shoving down my throat.”

  “Now you’re quitting? I didn’t think I raised a quitter.”

  “I’m not quitting on myself. If…when I walk away from the senate, it will be because I’m giving myself a chance and quitting on you.” My voice was poised and controlled belying my true fireball emotions.

  “Senator Freeman, sorry to interrupt. You have another visitor.” Navy’s voice filtered through the intercom as a much-needed distraction from the tension mounting between me and my father.

  Dad tossed a look of disgust at the intercom and said, “You honestly can’t afford better help than a simple girl who doesn’t know when visitors should be held off?”

  “Send in the visitor, please Navy.” I was done with Dad. I didn’t give a fuck who the visitor was as long as they broke up the anger and resentment multiplying in my bloodstream like a disease.

  “Knock, knock…” Xari poked her head in and smiled at me without noticing my father. “Hey, you,” she purred clutching my laptop sleeve to her chest.

  She was the perfect vision in a purple pencil dress that clung to her slight curves and slender waist. Her dark hair was swept off her neck and shoulders and pulled into an effortless bun at the top of her head and her lips were painted vibrant red.

  “You left this at home. I would have shown up naked but…”

  “Xari, come on in. I’d like you to meet my father, Warren Freeman.” Her eyes widened and she turned to the chair my father was sitting in. An apologetic smile curved her lips.

  “Oh my god. Mr. Freeman, I’m so sorry you had to hear that. I thought Evander was in here alone.” She handed me the laptop then attempted to shake Dad’s hand. He looked at her and shook his head. More anger flushed through me. The back of my neck was hot and blanketed in needles.

  “Shake. Her. Hand,” I demanded through clenched teeth. “She’s being polite. You could at least shake her hand.”

  “From the way she came in here, I think I’d rather not. I don’t know what she’s been doing with that hand.”

  “Lucky for you, today is Friday. I only hand-stir the blood of my enemies on Saturdays.” She flashed a smile but I knew her sarcasm was real and not a joke.

  “Charming. I see you can find a young woman who looks the part but you struggle to find someone with any couth. Maybe if you train this one, she’ll look better sitting outside of your office than the Target shopper out there.”

  I knew right then, Dad used up all his strikes with Xari at once. He had no way of knowing she and Navy were sisters even though they looked nearly identical. He was about to find out the hard way, and I planned to watch the festivities. I was tired of fighting.

  “Excuse me?” Xari said, narrowing her eyes. She turned to me and said, “I keep my job no matter what, right, Evander?”

  “Yup.” I nodded clasping my hands behind my head.

  “Good.” She turned her eyes to Dad and let loose. “My sister is the best damn assistant Evander has ever had. She has more intelligence in her stiletto pinky nail than you do in your entire body. I mean, you don’t need intelligence to sign papers and kiss ass but you do need it to keep a senator’s life in check. Says more about you than about her.”

  I couldn’t hide the smile on my face. Xari chopped the great Warren Freeman into bite-sized pieces with ease. He’d never admit it, but I knew she needled under his skin like she did with everyone else. Turns out, either she made a soft spot for herself or burned through you like acid. I think Dad just got the latter.

  The only tale-tell sign of my father’s annoyance was the crinkle stretching from the corners of his eyes. He regarded Xari for a few moments before pushing out a puff of breath from his nostrils. He stood to his feet and tipped his head down to look Xari in the eye. She was a brown-eyed spitfire that had no problem burning whoever got in her way. My father was included on that list of people.

  “Who are you again, little girl?” He asked, keeping his tone dismissive. Xari’s espresso pools danced with a challenge. I saw the same l
ook when I instructed her not to do something. It usually came before she did exactly what I told her not to.

  “You know who I am.” Her tone was cool and unflappable.

  “I can’t say I’ve had the pleasure.”

  “You know who I am.” She said it again with just as much cool certainty as the first time and I saw the muscle in Dad’s jaw twitch.

  “Son, you need an overhaul. The company you keep can get you dirty too. Remember that.”

  “Oh? Like all the dirty lobbyists you rub palms and elbows with all the time? You can leave now, Dad. We’re done.”

  “Go ahead and have your romp with the high-priced whore. Let me know when you have her out of your system.” My knuckles strained against my skin. White hot and dying to sink into my father’s face.

  “You disrespect Xari again and you won’t have to worry about speaking to me as long as you live, Dad. I’m trying to be as patient about this but what you’re not going to do is come into my office, tell me how to do my fucking job, and talk down about my assistant and my woman.”

  “Your woman? Is that what you’re calling her? Jesus, Van. You fell for the help?” He rolled his eyes and I dug my nails into the heel of my hand to stop myself from punching my father in my office.

  “Apollo,” I called out of the open office door. He appeared in less than two seconds. “Escort this man out of my office, please. Thank you.” I smiled politely then sat behind my desk and pulled Xari down on my lap where she belonged. I pressed a kiss to her temple and watch my father silently implode.

  Apollo gestured to the door and waited for Dad to walk through it. He did so with a stiff spine and robotic strides. It was taking everything in him to keep his composure. I didn’t care anymore. I wanted him out of my space so the energy could level out.

  Once he was gone, I deflated a little and squeezed Xari tighter. “I’m glad you came by,” I told her. My fingers went to the nape of her neck, kneading and massaging her golden silk skin.