Moments Lost and Found

by Olivia Jake

  Sam downed her drink in three gulps and then nodded to the bartender indicating another. Steve was still on his first sip. She closed her eyes as the bartender prepared her second drink, and soaked in the desired effect from the alcohol. She could feel the sharp edges soften almost immediately, which wasn’t surprising given that she essentially did a shot of straight vodka. When the bartender set down her second drink, Steve asked, “um, could we get some nuts or pretzels?” knowing that as much as Sam needed the drink, any more without food would turn bad quickly.

  Sam took a deep breath and finally regarded Steve. She closed her eyes and when she opened them, she said, “I can’t give you the details, but George and Laurent have a history, and not a pleasant one.”

  Steve shrugged and said, “Uh, yeah, I kind of gathered that.” As they both took another sip of their drink. “So now what?”

  Sam shook her head and rolled her eyes, “Now I figure out how to tell the man I love that I am going to be working with someone who betrayed him on such a deep, personal and professional level that it changed how he regards most everyone.”

  Steve looked shocked, “Wait, you’re not going to turn down the account?”

  This time, it was Sam’s turn to look shocked. “What? You’re kidding me, right?” The thought never even crossed Sam’s mind.

  “Not at all. How could you even consider working with that scumbag? Jesus, Sam, I’m not the one who had his hands all over me and I want to take a shower. Not to mention how Laurent will react.”

  “Steve, first of all, like I said to George, this has nothing to do with Laurent.”

  Steve looked at her like she was crazy, “How can you say that. Just from that brief meeting, it’s clear he’s hiring us as a ‘fuck you’ to Laurent. Do you really want that to be the reason we win the account?”

  “Steve, my responsibility is to my company. Right now, do you realize how many people would lose their jobs if we lost The Network account? I have to diversify. I have to bring in more business to make sure that if we were to take a big hit, it wouldn’t decimate the agency. And there just aren’t that many big fish like TimeCap out there banging down our doors.”

  “And what if Laurent pulls his business because we’re working with George, then what?”

  “Laurent wouldn’t do that. He understands this is business. He likes the work we do and he wouldn’t let emotions dictate a decision like that.” Though, even as she said it, she wasn’t completely sure it was true.

  Steve was not going to let this go. He knew Sam, he knew that she thought with her head and not with her heart. But this wasn’t as cut and dry as that. Making the right decision in this case required thinking with both. He tried to get her to see that and asked, “So, if the situation were reversed, you would be ok with Laurent working with someone who hurt you the way that George hurt Laurent?”

  Sam considered this. She thought she would be, but the truth was, she had never experienced anything even close to that. She knew that if someone she trusted were to have betrayed her the way that George did Laurent, she would probably just completely shut down emotionally and never again let anyone else in. But Laurent had let her in. If she worked with George, would she be betraying Laurent? And if she turned down the account, wouldn’t she be betraying herself by not doing what’s best for her agency?

  When Sam got back to the hotel room it was after 5. She found Laurent out on the balcony with a glass of wine. Before she went out there she took a moment to just look at him. After two martinis, and the day that she just had, her head wasn’t thinking clearly. She wished she could just not discuss the day’s events until after their weekend together. Never before had her desire to keep business and personal separate been as great as it was at this very moment. But the only way to do that would be to lie to Laurent, or withhold information. She wasn’t about to start lying to him.

  But maybe she could just postpone telling him. It was her birthday after all. Shouldn’t she be allowed to do what she wanted just this once? Not put anyone else’s needs before hers, to just not be responsible for one moment so she could relax and enjoy her day. Though after what she just experience, that was no longer an option.

  She opened the door out to the balcony and Laurent turned around to greet her. His smile was pure warmth and love. He held out his arms and she went to him immediately. He pulled her into a tight embrace whispering, “Happy Birthday, Cheri.” As he kissed her hair. Sam melted as she stood there in his tight grip, breathing in his scent, like she wanted to commit it to memory. She thought, If we could just stay like this, everything would be perfect.

  “Thank you, Laurent.”

  Finally, he let her go and looked in her eyes, and with concern asked, “Are you all right, Samantha? Did the meeting not go well?”

  Shit, Sam really needed to learn how to have a poker face. Sam took a deep breath, looked down, and then slowly raised her head and looked straight into his eyes, “Can I ask a favor, Laurent?”

  “Of course, Cheri, anything.” He said with such care. Sam almost wished that he wasn’t being so wonderful.

  “I don’t want to talk about work right now. I want to enjoy my birthday with the man I love.” she gave a weak smile and then asked, “would that be ok?” she almost pleaded, looking up into his eyes. She already felt like she was deceiving him, and she knew that she would need to tell him. But she also knew that if she did right then, it would be an argument, or at the least, an uncomfortable discussion. Not the way she’d want to remember her 40th birthday.

  “Mais, bien sur, Cheri. It’s your day.” He said and kissed her on her forehead, but then looked at her with concern. He knew that for her not to want to talk about work, there must have been something wrong. But he respected her wishes and didn’t press.

  He had a bottle of champagne on ice with two flutes next to it. “Champagne, Cheri? Are you ready to start celebrating?” She smiled and nodded, already a little tipsy from the two martinis. She leaned against the railing as she watched him deftly open the bottle and pour both glasses. He walked over and handed hers to her. She took it and he raised his glass, “To my beautiful, Samantha. May this birthday bring you all the happiness you deserve.” They toasted. Sam couldn’t help but think his toast sounded ominous, knowing what she knew. Maybe that was it, maybe she didn’t deserve true happiness. Perhaps that was for other people. She did feel that people get what they deserve, and maybe she didn’t deserve Laurent. She tried not to go there in her mind. She smiled and took a sip.

  “Samantha, I’m not going to ask again, but it’s obvious that something is bothering you. I have a lovely evening planned, but if you’re not up for it, we can do whatever you like.” God, he was being so wonderful, he was just making this harder.

  “No, no, Laurent, I’m fine, just reflective, that’s all. You know, turning 40, uh, I mean, 29,” she smiled, “it’s a big birthday and it’s hard not to take stock of where I’m at in life and all of those big, heady thoughts.” She thought this sounded plausible and he nodded.

  “Ok, well, then in that case, we have reservations at 7. That leaves us about an hour and a half, and if you don’t feel like talking, I have an idea as to how we could pass the time.” He took a step towards her, pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss for which she was grateful. She surrendered to him and lost herself in the kiss. He moved down to her neck, nibbling on it, biting on that corded part that made her feel it all the way down in her belly. He pulled away, grabbed the champagne and held out his hand. She took it as he led her into the bedroom where they put their champagne down and he started tenderly undressing her, kissing her. It all felt great, but she wanted more. She tried to nip at his lips she grabbed him harder, but he continued to be tender until finally he pulled back, looking down at her and said, “You don’t want it tender, do you, Cheri?”

  Sam’s eyes were half closed. She shook her head. “Tell me, Samantha. Tell me what you want.” He growled.

  “I want it rough.” She sa
id, barely a whisper. A corner of his mouth turned up.

  “I see.” How quickly he could turn from the tender lover to the naughty one. Just his voice alone. “You’re going to have to be more specific, Samantha. How rough?”

  Sam swallowed, she had never asked for this before, of course he had done it to her, but asking for it was crossing into new territory. “Will you tie me up?”

  “Is that all, Samantha? Is there anything else you’d like?” he asked in that low sexy growl. She had nothing to lose, she knew she could ask for it, and she wanted to be somewhere else, anywhere other than her mind.

  She felt herself flush, “Did you bring the riding crop?” that actually made him chuckle, but he shook his head no. Then she looked at his waist, “Will you use your belt on me then?” He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head.

  He started to undo his belt and said in a very low, commanding voice, “Take off all your clothes.”

  This registered and Sam got up off the bed and undressed. When she was naked, she stood there, waiting for her next command. “Go get the belts from the bathrobes, and bring me my other belt from my suitcase.” As she turned to go, he cracked her on the ass with the belt in his hand, “Quickly.” He said. She picked up her pace, getting the terrycloth belts from the robes in the bathroom, then, passing him again, he whacked her again sending stinging pain to her butt cheek. She quickly found his belt in his suitcase and handed it to him. He took it from her and caressed her cheek, “Good girl. Now bend over and hold onto the bed post. Tight. Do not let go, do you understand me?” Sam nodded. He reached and pinched her nipple, “Answer me, Samantha.”

  “Yes, Laurent.”

  “Good. Now, go on.” Sam bent over and grabbed onto the thick wooden post at the end of the bed. “Spread your legs wider. Very nice. Now arch your back so that sweet ass of yours sticks up. Oh, that is so nice, Samantha.”

  “Samantha, when you were a little girl, do you remember getting spanked on your birthday? However old you were, that’s how many spanks you’d get from your friends. Do you remember that?”

  Sam nodded. He must have doubled the belt because when it cracked on her ass she felt the thickness of it. “I asked you a question, Samantha.”

  Sam had no idea what the question even was anymore, so she just answered, “Yes, sir.” Which earned another low chuckle from him.

  “Good girl. Now, since it’s your birthday, I think in honor of it, and that tradition, that’s what you’re going to get. I am going to take my belt to your ass 40 times. But you have to count. If you don’t, then it starts over at zero. Are you with me, Samantha?”

  “Yes, sir.” She answered even though she hated counting out loud. Somehow, the act of that made it embarrassing, humiliating. But right now, this is what she needed. She wanted to be hurt. She wanted to be humiliated. She needed to be punished. She knew the physical pain was nothing compared to the mental pain that would come when she told him. But at least the physical pain would make her forget for a moment.

  “Excellent.” And with that he started. Even though she asked for this, it still surprised her how much it hurt. He started slowly, alternating between cheeks, then he picked up the pace, and as he did, the blows got harder and harder. With each blow, Sam yelled out a number. After 20 or so, her ass was on fire but she didn’t want him to stop. Sam started crying, shaking, which quickly turned into sobbing, but she welcomed the pain. Laurent stopped, he’d never made her cry before.

  “Please, please don’t stop, Laurent. Please.” She pleaded through her sobs. Reluctantly, he continued, though he backed off the intensity. Even still, Sam continued to whimper. When he got to 40 he dropped the belt and immediately started rubbing her bottom. Sam was panting, her ass was burning, but she wanted more, she wanted more pain. She straightened up slowly and picked up the bathroom sashes from where she had put them on the bed and silently held them out to him. She knew she must have looked a mess, mascara stained cheeks, puffy eyes, blotchy skin. But she didn’t care. She just wanted to be hurt.

  “You don’t need a rest, Samantha?” he asked warily.

  She shook her head, “No. I want you to tie me up and take your belt to my breasts, and my pussy. Please.” She looked down embarrassed that she could even utter those words. But she somehow needed this, she needed the pain. “Please, Laurent.”

  “Lie down on the bed with your legs spread and your arms above your head.” He took his other belt and wrapped it around her wrists and then fastened it to the headboard. Then he pulled her legs so that she was taught and the tied each leg to the bottom bed posts. She was completely secured and helpless.

  “Look at me, Samantha.” She opened her eyes and found him at the foot of the bed in between her legs, “I am not going to go easy on you, Cheri. I don’t know what’s going on, but I can tell you need this. So I am going to give it to you. But if it gets too much you have to let me know. Do you understand?”

  “I understand.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

  “Do you still want this, Samantha?”

  She nodded, “I do. I need this.”

  He nodded. He almost seemed reluctant, even though he had done this to her before. Was it different because she was asking for it? Or was it because it was less about part of sex and more just pure punishment and pain? There was no way for him to know. He walked over and took a long sip of champagne, then held her flute over her mouth and said, “Open” which she did and he poured some of the dry, bubbly liquid in, slowly, giving her time to swallow.

  She licked her lips and said, “Thank you.” which earned her a small smile from him and then she said, “It’s ok, Laurent. I want this.”

  Laurent started with the belt on her nipples. Like with her backside, he started slowly, deliberately, switching from one to the other. As he continued, the pacing and intensity increased. Every now and then he’d hit her mound which was such an intense pain, that was also intense pleasure. Sam lost track of how long this went on. She knew tears were falling from her eyes, but she wasn’t crying. She was just feeling the stinging which was both pleasurable and painful. She felt like she was floating somewhere between reality and somewhere else. She was aware of the pain, there was no way she couldn’t be. But she felt like she was somehow transported. He could see that she was no longer completely present and at this sign, finally, he stopped.

  He quickly took of his clothes and straddled her. He kissed her roughly as his tongue invaded her mouth. He ran his hands up and down her outstretched arms then down her tender breasts, which just brushing over them brought on sensation and started bringing her back to the present. He tenderly sucked at the nipples and then he moved down her body kissing her stomach and finally making his way to between her legs.

  He licked her slit lengthwise, lapping up her juices. She knew that she was probably soaking wet. Then he buried his face in her alternating exploring between her folds, and pushing his tongue all the way in, then sucking on her clit, then back again. He knew he was teasing her. He knew that all this sensation was bringing her close to the edge, but every time he felt her body stiffen and quiver he would back off and move to a different part until finally she was panting and writhing as much as her restraints would allow her to move, “Please, Laurent, please.”

  “Please what, Cheri?” he looked up at her. God he could be infuriating.

  “Please fuck me, Laurent. Please, please make me come.”

  He chuckled as he raised himself over her and before he entered her he said, “You’re becoming very insistent in your old age.” She finally smiled which made him happy. He leaned down and kissed her deeply so she could taste herself and with his tongue in her mouth he entered her deeply, in one thrust, making her gasp. She opened her eyes to find him smiling over her, “Is this what you wanted?”

  Sam nodded and eeked out a “yes” as he continued the onslaught. She writhed but still being tethered couldn’t get the position she needed. Somehow he knew this and stopped long enough to untie her
legs, making her smile again. When he started up again, he brought her legs to his shoulders which produced a long, low groan from her. That seemed to incentivize him to go deeper and harder until finally, all the build up, all the tension from the day, everything came crashing as she violently exploded around him. As her orgasm rolled on, he came too.

  After a few minutes he reached up and undid the belt around her wrists and slowly massaged each arm and wrist as he brought them down to her sides. Laurent turned to his back and Sam inched next to him so that her head was on his chest and her leg draped over his. He stroked her back as they lay there until Sam drifted off to sleep.

  When Sam awoke, she had no idea how long she’d been out. It was dark outside but she knew it couldn’t be that late, she felt like she had just napped for a few minutes. Actually, she never felt like she had actually fallen asleep, she was in that limbo where she processed outside noises but would drift off only to have dreams that were grounded in reality, but slightly off. All of her thoughts and dreams revolved around her meeting earlier that day, but she wove in the belt-play she just received. Far from erotic, the dreams all had George in them, and all involved the belt. Sam felt scared and alone and unsure until she finally awoke. And even then, knowing that her dreams weren’t real didn’t make her feel any better.

  Sam lay there for a moment listening to Laurent’s even breathing, her head still on his chest. When she stirred to move, his arm stiffened, holding her in place. Then he shifted so he could look her in the eyes.

  “How are you feeling, Cheri?” he asked so tenderly, stroking her face.

  The corners of her mouth turned up, “Waking up with my head on your chest, hearing you breath, that makes me feel good. Safe.”

  “That’s very nice to hear, Samantha, but it doesn’t answer the question.” His voice was both tender and stern.