Resisting Ryder

by Blakeley Wilde

  Ryder’s full lips spread into a wide smile. His teeth were perfectly straight and bright white, just like Jett’s. Stormy couldn’t help but think about kissing him. She wanted so badly to know if his kiss would feel like Jett’s. She stared at his mouth as her mind wandered, lost in thought and obsessing over the fact that she would never again get to experience Jett’s kisses in her lifetime.

  “Stormy?” he interrupted her trance-like state. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

  “Sorry, sorry,” she said as she shook her head. “Just thinking.”

  “I probably remind you of him, huh,” Ryder stated with his hands on his hips. He ruffled his fingers through his buzzed, chocolate hair and sighed. “I’m sorry. Didn’t even think about that. Must be hard for you.”

  Stormy shrugged and then nodded as she fought back another wave of teary eyes. They seemed to come and go in random intervals, and any little thing that reminded her of Jett set her off.

  “Hungry?” Ryder changed the subject. “You look hungry. Let’s go. Hurry up.”

  “Give me two minutes,” she said as she shut the door. She hurried and threw on black yoga pants and another baggy, old sweatshirt of Jett’s. She wrapped her hair up into a top knot and made her way to the bathroom to freshen up and slap on a hint of makeup.

  The face staring back at her in the mirror looked strange and unfamiliar to her. Her eyelids were puffy and her cheeks were red. She splashed cold water on her face before dabbing on some tinted moisturizer, blush, and waterproof mascara. It was going to have to be good enough that day.

  “Ready?” she said as she emerged from down the hall.

  Ryder was seated at the couch again, flipping through Jett’s book. He had neatly folded his linens from the night before and sat them on top of his pillow on the couch arm. He stood up and jingled his keys in his hand before heading towards the front door.

  “I can take us,” he offered. “I’ve got a spare helmet.”

  “You’re going to have to. You parked behind me,” Stormy said as she pointed out the obvious.

  Although she had just met Ryder, there was something oddly familiar and comforting about him. She hardly knew him, yet she felt like she could be herself around him. She felt like he was some sort of extension of Jett. She couldn’t have Jett anymore, but having Ryder around was almost like the next best thing. He was like the designer imposter version of Jett; a close knock off.

  He hopped on his BMW, flipped up the kickstand, and she climbed on behind him. The seats were tan and buttery smooth, and the bike hard hardly a scratch or spec of dirt anywhere on it.

  “Is that diner on 10th street still around?” he asked. “They have the best breakfast.”

  “They are,” she responded.

  They rode in silence to the diner as Stormy wrapped her arms around his waist. She couldn’t stop herself from staring at his reflection in the side mirrors.

  “Why are you staring at me?” he yelled back. “It’s freaking me out.”

  “Sorry, didn’t mean to,” she lied. Her cheeks turned a shade of crimson as she turned to stare out the opposite window.

  They pulled up to a stop sign.

  “Growing up, people always thought Jett and I were twins,” he yelled. “Except Jett was always a little bit smaller. That was the only difference,” he said. “That and I have dimples.”

  He flashed a megawatt smile and revealed the most gorgeous and perfectly placed dimples Stormy had ever seen. Jett was a handsome guy, but Ryder was the Abercrombie model version of him.

  “That’s the only difference?” Stormy teased him as she tried to distract herself from feeling any ounce of attraction towards him.

  “Pretty much,” Ryder grinned as he took off and drove another couple blocks. “We’re here.”

  He pulled into the weeded parking lot of the diner and shut off the bike. Ryder let Stormy climb off first before following right behind her. Stormy loved that he had good, old-fashioned manners. It was something she’d always loved about Jett.

  They took a spot in a booth in the corner and waited for their server to approach. A young girl, probably still in high school, came and took their drink orders.

  Stormy’s swollen eyes ached as the bright sunshine poured in through the diner windows. She stood up and pulled the shade down.

  “Hope you don’t mind,” she said to Ryder.

  “Not a fan of sunshine?” he asked.

  “Not today,” she huffed.

  “I can’t live without it,” he said. “That’s partly why I moved to California. Or maybe why I never left. It’s beautiful. Sunny, palm trees, hardly any rain. Growing up in that dark, dirty house with Misty was so oppressive and miserable. Never again.”

  The server came back with an orange juice for Stormy and a big glass of chocolate milk for Ryder.

  “Jett liked chocolate milk,” Stormy said with a smile.

  “I know,” he said. “I got him hooked as a kid.”

  They ordered their breakfasts, Stormy settling on an English muffin and fruit plate, and Ryder ordering the biggest breakfast platter he could find on the menu.

  “So, Ryder, what’s your plan while you’re in town?” she asked, cutting to the chase.

  “I guess I just really wanted to get to know you,” he said. He wasted no time being blatantly honest with her. “Make sure you’re okay. Solicit your help in finding out who murdered my brother. You know. That sort of thing.”

  “Hm,” Stormy said. She was still trying to gauge whether or not she could trust him. So far he seemed genuine, but she’d only met him the night before. What did she know?

  “I have to admit, I was a little shocked when I heard Jett was married,” he said. “I hadn’t heard from him in years, and then all of a sudden I find out he’s in love with some girl and married? And then my source told me he had passed. I had to come back here.”

  “Who’s your source?” she asked.

  “I can’t say. No one you’d know. Inside people,” he insisted. Given his candor all this time, she had no choice but to believe him.

  “So tell me about yourself. Where do you work? What do you do?” Stormy asked.

  “Aside from running the MC, I have various, uh, business endeavors,” he said. “It would bore you to death, but it pays the bills and lets me work from anywhere in the world.”

  “That doesn’t sound shady at all,” Stormy guffawed. “Are you trying to impress me or do you really have legitimate business endeavors?”

  “I don’t need to impress you, Stormy. I’m just saying, what I do outside the club is legit, and I’m serious, it’s boring,” he replied. “Websites, clicks, referrals, that sort of thing. Your eyes would glaze over if we went over what I do.”

  “I see.” She looked him up and down and studied his face. He didn’t seem like the kind of guy who would run online businesses. He was so rugged, rough and tumble, and dressed in head to toe denim and black leather.

  “Believe it or not, I don’t want to stay in the MC forever,” he said. “So, Stormy, what do you do?”

  “I’m a registered nurse,” she said. “Currently unemployed.”

  “I thought nurses were always an in-demand profession?”

  “I thought so too, but not in Coleville, I guess,” she shrugged.

  “Is that how you met Jett?”

  “Oh, yeah, I just assumed you knew that. I was his nurse after he had a real bad bike accident a few years ago,” she said.

  Ryder’s face became pinched. “Oh, yeah. I can see how you marrying and running off with him would upset Misty then. Big time.”

  “Why do you call your mom Misty?” Stormy asked. She was dying to know more about their odd family dynamic.

  “I’ve called her Misty ever since she decided not to be a mom,” he said. “The word ‘mother’ is reserved for people who actually fit the bill for that role not someone who runs off with men every night of the week and leaves her young kids at home with no food in the cupboards.”


  Stormy could hear the disdain in his voice when he talked about his mother. It was the same tone she’d hear in Jett’s voice anytime Misty came around. Ryder was lucky that he was able to escape her powerful grasp and live a life all his own. Poor Jett never had that opportunity until Stormy came along.

  Their food arrived and Ryder dug in right away.

  “Mmm,” he said between bites of fluffy scrambled eggs and crispy bacon. “Just like I remember.”

  “You don’t have greasy spoons in California?” Stormy asked.

  “Of course we do. Nothing beats your hometown diner,” he said. “That nostalgia just adds a little something extra, you know?”

  He continued scarfing his food as Stormy picked around at her fruit plate. Some of the fruit looked questionable, and her appetite hadn’t quite returned yet. Instead of eating, she just watched Ryder devour his breakfast. He was such an animal when he ate. He was night and day from Jett. Jett would eat slowly, with intention, while Ryder just inhaled everything.

  “Oh, man,” Ryder said as he sat back in the booth and pushed out his belly. “That was good.”

  He rubbed his stomach contently as he smiled at Stormy.

  “I missed that,” he said. “A little greasy food never hurt anyone.”

  She looked down at her fruit and back at him.

  “I guess you didn’t eat crap today,” he laughed. “Well, good for you.”

  The server brought the check and Ryder slapped a twenty dollar bill on the table before leaving.

  “I forgot how cheap small towns are,” he said. “I don’t even think I could get breakfast for $20 back home.”

  He followed Stormy back out to the bike. The sun was still shining bright, and it was a perfect day for a ride. The fresh air felt good on her face as they headed back towards her house.

  The moment they pulled into her driveway, they stood outside and lingered a bit on the front porch.

  “So what’s your plan, Ryder? How long are you going to be in town?” she asked.

  “No itinerary of any kind. Just sort of playing it by ear,” he said. “I was going to ask you something. You can totally say no if you want, and I’ll understand.”

  “What?” Stormy was almost scared.

  “Would it be okay if I stayed at your place while I’m in town?”

  Stormy wondered why he would want to sleep on her couch when he clearly had money. He drove a nice bike, bragged about his internet businesses, and seemed like a pretty resourceful guy.

  “You’d rather sleep on my couch than at a nice hotel?” she asked.

  “Name one nice hotel in Coleville,” he laughed. “Go.”

  “Good point,” she said before pausing for a couple seconds. “Of course you can stay with me.”

  “You’re a sweet girl, Stormy,” he said. “Thank you.”

  Ryder still hadn’t answered her question about what his plans were. It seemed he just wanted to hang around her for whatever reason.

  “Does your mom, I mean Misty, know you’re in town right now?” she asked as they made their way inside.

  “Nope,” he said as he turned to face her in all seriousness. “And it better stay that way.”

  “Got it.” She was slightly insulted by his remark. He should’ve realized by now that she was more or less estranged from that crazy woman.

  Stormy tossed her purse and house keys on the kitchen table and kicked off her shoes.

  “So what are your plans for today?” Stormy asked yet again. “Anything in particular you need to do?”

  “A few things,” he said. “I’ll probably take off for a bit. You going to be around most of the day?”

  “Yeah, I’ll be here,” she said. She was dying to know where he was going though.

  Although she’d only just met him, he had given her a bit of a reprieve from crying. He had distracted her from her grief, made her feel like she was with a familiar face, and even got a few laughs out of her. No one else could do that, she was sure of it. The thought of Ryder leaving for a bit and leaving her all alone with her sad thoughts sent her instantly into a blurry mess of tears. She turned her face so he wouldn’t see.

  Ryder sent a few text messages on his phone before looking up at Stormy and smiling.

  “I better get going,” he said. “I’ll be back later. Maybe late afternoon or early evening.”

  “Okay,” Stormy said as she smiled through teary eyes.

  “You going to be okay?” he asked with one raised eyebrow. “I can stick around if you want. I don’t want to leave if you’re going to start bawling the moment I walk out of here.”

  Stormy’s lip trembled, but she forced a smile. “There’s nothing wrong with crying.”

  “I suppose you’re right,” he said. “But seriously, I’ll stay if you need me to.”

  “No, go,” she said as she shooed him towards the door. “Do what you need to do. I’ll see you later.”

  Ryder stared at her saddened face for a moment and hesitated before walking outside and climbing onto his bike and backing out of the driveway. Stormy watched out the curtains and waited for him to ride off before shuffling back to her bedroom, throwing herself onto her bed, and burying herself under the thick covers.

  CHAPTER 3

  As Stormy spent the day alone, she couldn’t help but reflect about how crazy the week had been. It was only Thursday, but in the last four days her life had been chewed up, swallowed, and spit back out. Nothing was the same anymore, and it was never going to be the same ever again.

  Her mind wandered all over the place as she wallowed in grief and self-pity. Was her life worth living anymore? How could she ever find someone to love her the way Jett did, and how would she ever find someone she’d love the way she loved him?

  As Stormy drifted deeper and deeper into the darkest parts of her mind, her thoughts only became blacker and more disturbed. She knew Jett would’ve been furious to know the kinds of thoughts she was having, but she couldn’t help the way she felt. All that hope she’d had just less than a week ago had faded into sheer nothingness. Any excitement she had for the future had flown out the window the moment she found Jett lying unconscious and bleeding on the floor of their kitchen and saw the front door was wide open. She knew she would never in a million years be able to get that image out of her head.

  The minutes ticked on and the hours passed as Stormy stayed cemented under the covers of her bed. She didn’t want to move. She didn’t want to turn on the T.V. or read a book. Her appetite was non-existent. Most of the time she stared up at the ceiling. Between bouts of crying, her eyes would tire out. She would fall asleep only to wake up and find it had only been twenty minutes or so. They day couldn’t have moved any slower, and time seemed to stand still, locking her into a living nightmare.

  Welcome to the rest of my life, Stormy lamented to herself.

  She wondered how she was ever going to be happy again, and how she’d ever be able to move on without Jett. She wondered if he was around her at all, watching her cry and wanting to hold her. She was sure he was, but then again, she knew it was probably just wishful thinking on her part. There were times, though, that she could have sworn she could smell his woodsy cologne or feel him around.

  Tired of crying and miraculously energized from lying in bed all day, she decided to get up and grab a glass of water from the kitchen. As she tiptoed down the hall towards the kitchen, she walked past her phone, which had been turned off all day. She knew the moment she turned it on she would have a million voicemails and text messages from people checking on her, but she did it anyway.

  The first voicemail was from her mother. The second voicemail was also from her mother. The third voicemail was from her best friend, Brooklyn, as were a myriad of text messages. But the fourth voicemail caught her by surprise.

  “Hey, Stormy. It’s Hayden,” the voicemail said. “I’m sorry to hear about your loss. I’m here if you need anything.”

  Hayden, her high school sweetheart, pal
ed in comparison to the kind of man Jett was, Stormy knew that, but she couldn’t help but breathe a happy sigh in knowing that he took time out of his day to think about her. She would never be able to love Hayden as deeply as she loved Jett, but a part of her would always love him. He was her first love. If anything, he would be a good place card to fill the void when her days got too lonely to bear.

  Hayden was night and day compared to Jett. Jett was the quintessential bad boy with a tiny bit of a jealous streak. Hayden was the quintessential high school quarterback who could have any pick of the litter. Hayden dumped Stormy the minute he went off the college, and she held a flame for him until the day she met Jett Jacks.

  She was startled by a knock at the door and almost dropped her phone on the hard floor but caught it just in time. She peeked out the window and saw Ryder’s BMW parked in the driveway. He was back.

  She swept back her hair and checked her reflection in a nearby mirror to make sure she didn’t have any rogue mascara streaks down her face. As soon as she confirmed that she was somewhat presentable, she unlocked the front door and let him in.

  “Hey,” she said with a smile. “Come on in.”

  Ryder stared at her swollen, reddened face and puffy eyes and looked sad for her.

  “You doing okay, kid?” he said as he walked inside. “You need a hug or something?”

  Stormy shook her head, but Ryder stepped towards her and wrapped his arms around her anyway, squeezing her tight. Stormy tensed up at first, but after a few minutes she let go and just let him hold her for a bit. She buried her face in his jacket, which had the same familiar leather jacket smell Jett always had. It was nice to be held, and if she closed her eyes and used her imagination, it was almost like Jett was holding her.

  They lingered in the doorway in their shared embrace for a bit until Stormy pushed back and stepped away.

  “Thanks,” she said, although she was a little embarrassed. She was surprised by how touchy-feely Ryder was since Jett was the complete opposite. She wasn’t used to it.

  She glanced at the clock, which read a little past five. For the first time all day, her stomach growled.