Resisting Ryder

by Blakeley Wilde

  “Are you hungry?” he asked. He had clearly heard the rumble. “I haven’t eaten yet. Want me to whip something up for us?”

  “I guess,” she said. “If you want. I don’t have a lot of groceries here.”

  “I’m sure I can find something,” he said as he oozed confidence. “I’m pretty resourceful. Growing up with a mom who never cooked kind of forced me to learn that skill early on.”

  She loved how comfortable Ryder made himself in her home. It made her feel like she had known him a lot longer than a day, and it made her feel more at ease around him. There was just something about him, and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

  She sat at the kitchen table in awe of him as he ransacked her pantry and cabinets, pulling random pots, pans and utensils out as well as the random canned vegetable or box of dry pasta. He was in his own little world as he whipped up some sort of dinner creation. Stormy couldn’t help but watch the way he moved, the way his arms flexed when he whisked the sauce, and the way he licked his fingers when he sampled it. Jett could hardly boil water or heat up frozen pizza. Ryder, apparently, really knew his way around the kitchen.

  She admired how independent and inventive Ryder was. He seemed so self-assured the entire time. He didn’t even care or notice that Stormy was watching his every move in the kitchen.

  After a few more minutes, he plated the piping hot food and brought it over to the table and sat down next to her.

  “I don’t know what to call this,” he said as he handed her a fork. “It should be fairly edible. If not, pizza’s on me.”

  Stormy laughed. “Thanks for cooking. This looks good.”

  “Anything you need,” he said. “It’s the least I could do for you since you’re letting me crash here.”

  “Ryder, you’re family,” Stormy reminded him. She was starting to trust him, little by little. “Of course I’d let you stay here. Don’t feel like you have to pay me back or that you owe me or something.”

  Ryder cocked his head and looked at her with a funny smile for a second.

  “There aren’t a lot of people like you where I come from,” he said. “Everyone’s always out to get something, especially when you have the power that they don’t have. There are no favors. No free lunches. This is refreshing.”

  Stormy didn’t know what to say. She was just trying to be herself. It was the way she was raised.

  “I hate to be rude, but I’ve got to get a little bit of work done,” he said as he ran out of the room. He returned with his laptop, cracked it open, fired it up, and continued shoveling bites of food into his mouth as he clicked around and opened various websites and spreadsheets. “Hope you don’t mind if I multitask here.”

  “I completely understand,” Stormy said. She tried not to stare at his computer screen, but she couldn’t help herself. She took great satisfaction knowing he wasn’t lying to her about his work being boring. Nothing on his screen jumped out at her or made her even remotely want to know more about what he did. She was just amazed at the fact that he was some sort of biker business man. She’d never heard of such a thing, and it impressed her more than she cared to admit.

  Ryder didn’t try to hide his screen or turn it away, even though it was completely obvious that Stormy was looking on. She liked that about him. He wasn’t secretive.

  She finished her meal and took her dish to the sink to rinse it off before heading out to the living room. The night was young, she was no longer tired, and she didn’t know what to do. She sat in the quiet, dark living room alone with her thoughts. She didn’t feel like hanging out with Brooklyn, she didn’t want to talk to her parents, and she didn’t feel it would be even remotely appropriate to contact Hayden.

  She leaned back on the couch and crossed her legs as her foot twitched with wild vigor. She sat, lost in thought, until the light was suddenly switched on.

  “You just going to sit here in the dark?” Ryder laughed. He plopped down on the couch right next to her with his laptop still open.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Kind of in my own little world these days.”

  “Don’t apologize, Stormy,” he scoffed. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for. Nothing at all.”

  His eyes were glued to his screen as he was still clicking around and pulling up various documents.

  “Still working?” she asked.

  “Almost done,” he said. “Okay. Done.”

  He closed the lid to the laptop and sat it down on the coffee table before leaning back on the couch, both of his strong arms spread wide against the back.

  “I like it here,” he said. “I feel like a part of Jett is here. It feels like home to me.”

  “I can tell,” Stormy teased.

  “I missed out on so much of his life,” he said. “And for what?”

  “It’s not your fault,” Stormy said. “You can blame that on Misty.”

  “Yeah,” he shrugged. “I can. But I also could’ve tried harder. Shit. He was just a kid when I walked out of here and never looked back. Brothers don’t do that to each other.”

  “So back to how you found out that Jett was married,” Stormy said as she cut to the chase. “How did you find out exactly?”

  Ryder bit his lip. “I have my sources.”

  “Did he contact you?” she asked.

  Ryder looked down and hesitated. “Yeah.”

  “Really?”

  “He actually asked me to be his best man,” he admitted. “I regret more than anything in the world that I turned him down.”

  “That’s really shitty,” Stormy said as she crossed her arms. “Why’d you turn him down?”

  “I had my reasons,” he said. “Too many reasons that seemed legit at the time. Now I know it was just my pride.”

  Stormy shook her head in judgment.

  “I guess I was also kind of jealous that he had found someone to love him,” he said. “My whole life I’ve been searching for the kind of love that Jett said he found.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Think about his life before you,” he continued. “Running around with shady people, being controlled by Misty and having all his money go to her. He meets a nice young, pretty girl like you and everything changed. He was trying to turn his MC club legit so he could give you a nice, normal life and support the family he wanted to have with you. He wanted to have the family that we never had. He wanted you to be the mother of his kids. Where I’m from, that’s big. That means something.”

  “How often did he call you?”

  “Not that much. Maybe once or twice in the last few years,” he said. “He always had my number. I guess he thought I probably wouldn’t answer if he called too much.”

  “I just think it’s so weird that he never told me about you,” Stormy mused. “I can’t wrap my head around it. There’s got to be a reason.”

  Ryder looked worried for a split second, like Stormy was second-guessing her decision to let him into her life.

  “Jett was a peculiar boy,” he said. “I think we can both agree on that.”

  “Peculiar, no,” she said. “Mysterious, absolutely.”

  “Yeah, that’s probably a nicer word for it,” he agreed.

  “Hey, what was that letter you had in your hand the other night?” Stormy asked.

  Ryder hesitated. “What letter?”

  Stormy knew he was lying. “I don’t buy that for one second. You had one in your hand last night, didn’t you?”

  “That was your address,” he said, though he appeared to be lying. His nose twitched a bit. “I had written down your address and directions to your place.”

  Stormy was still unsure. “Well, why can’t you show me then?”

  “Look, I won’t say no, but I can’t say yes quite yet,” he said with a pained expression on your face. “You have to wait. It’ll all make sense later. I promise.”

  Stormy crossed her arms and sulked as she turned away from him.

  “You’ve got to just trust me,” he said.


  CHAPTER 4

  Friday morning came without warning and Stormy woke with the relief of knowing Ryder was still there. She wasn’t ready to be alone yet. She wasn’t ready to face the brutal, harsh reality of life without Jett.

  Had Jett still been there, she would’ve pounced on him that morning and awoken him with a good-morning kiss. She then would’ve made him breakfast and gone on a nice ride around the neighborhood with him. They might have gone to a coffee shop or they might have just taken a long ride out in the country through the scenic hills and valleys of Coleville. She had no one to do those things with anymore. She had no one she wanted to do those things with anymore either. Those things would never be the same without him.

  She climbed out of her warm bed, one foot at a time, and headed towards the bathroom which was occupied by Ryder. She waited in the hall for a few minutes, back against the wall, before deciding to wait in the kitchen. She poured herself a bowl of cold cereal and sat at the table alone with her thoughts and the occasional clanking of the spoon against the ceramic bowl.

  Several minutes later, Ryder emerged from down the hall. His chocolate brown hair was shiny and still wet as it glistened in the daylight that shined through the window. The smell of fresh aftershave and coconut body wash followed him and filled the air. His t-shirt clung to his still damp body, embracing the cambers of his shoulders, and his muscles flexed as he hoisted his duffle bag in one hand.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “Were you waiting on me to get out of the bathroom?”

  “It’s okay,” Stormy said as she took the last bite of her cereal. She couldn’t help but stare at him a bit more.

  She took her bowl to the sink and headed to the bathroom to get ready. She’d been neglecting herself lately, and she knew it was starting to show. She slathered on a cucumber-mint face mask, drew a hot, steamy bubble bath, and laid in the tub until the water turned cool. It felt good just to soak away her stress, to calm her nerves, and to empty her head. The steam filled her pores and helped sooth her tired, swollen eyes. She was slowly beginning to feel human again.

  When she emerged from the hour-old, lukewarm bath water, she wrapped a towel around her long, dark hair and threw on a robe. She smoothed some foundation over her face with her finger tips, brushed on some pink blush, and swiped on a few coats of lengthening mascara.

  We’re getting there, she thought to herself as she slicked on some rose-tinted lip balm.

  She was starting to catch a glimpse of her old self looking back at her in the mirror. She knew Jett wouldn’t want her to spend her days crying in bed. He would want her to get back out there and live life, if not for her, then for him. Jett didn’t have the luxury of being alive anymore. Stormy did. She would be doing a huge disservice to Jett’s memory if all she did was wish her life away.

  She finished up in the bathroom then headed to her room to change. She decided against her normal yoga pants and sweatshirt uniform and slipped on a pair of her favorite jeans and a navy blue polka dot blouse. The jeans hung off her hips and barely stayed up. Almost a week of not eating much had worn her a bit thin.

  She walked out to the living room where Ryder was sitting and fiddling around on his laptop again.

  “Working hard as always, I see,” Stormy teased.

  “Oh, Stormy, hey,” he said as he looked up at her then back at his laptop. He then glanced back at her again. “Wow, you look really nice today.”

  “Thanks,” she said as she appreciated the double-take. “I think.”

  “I just mean,” he started. “You look nice. That’s all.”

  Ryder seemed a little flustered by Stormy’s innate beauty. The last two days he’d pretty much only seen her with puffy cheeks and swollen eyes, wearing dirty, rumpled sweats.

  Ryder looked up at her again to sneak another peak. It was safe to say he was starting to look at her in a whole new light. He could barely keep his eyes off her, as if he was hypnotized.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?” Stormy asked, suddenly feeling self-conscious.

  “I’m not,” he lied. Poorly.

  Stormy plopped down next to him on the couch and grabbed a pillow to hug in her lap.

  “What are we working on today?” she asked.

  “Just checking in with my business partner,” he said.

  “What’s his name?” Stormy asked, though she didn’t really care. She was just trying to make conversation.

  “Veronica,” he said.

  “Oh,” Stormy said, taken off guard. “I don’t know why I just assumed it was a guy.”

  Ryder shrugged and thought nothing of her assumption.

  “How did you two meet?” she asked. She felt a tiny twinge of inexplicable jealousy and had no idea where it was coming from.

  “We met at a bar in California,” he said. “We were really drunk and scribbled a business plan on the back of a napkin. The next day we met again and realized we both had really good ideas. She had the money, I had the brains. She became my investor.”

  “Oh, so you’re only partners then?” Stormy knew she was making herself seem super obvious, but she didn’t care.

  “We dated,” he said. “She was a real spitfire. Bright red hair. Legs up to here. Crazy eyes. A personality to match. Almost married her. Didn’t work out. We saved our business though.”

  Stormy couldn’t understand why Ryder talking about another woman made her jealous. Maybe it was the way he made her feel like she was the only person in the world when they were together. She had never even thought about the possibility of him having a girlfriend, let alone an ex-girlfriend that he damn near married.

  “That’s good,” Stormy said as she tried to act casual. “I’m intrigued by this relationship. How do you keep things all business and nothing personal? Isn’t that hard?”

  “It’s probably harder for her than for me,” he said. “I’m the one who broke things off. She just got too crazy. Too obsessed with me.”

  “Do you still love her though?” Stormy was dying to know.

  “We were together for a long time, and we’re still friends, of course I love her,” he said. “We had crazy chemistry. Still do. It’s just never going to work out for us.”

  “Does she know that?” Stormy asked.

  “Ha,” he laughed. “She still has hope I think.”

  Stormy shamed herself for getting jealous of Ryder’s ex-girlfriend. She barely knew Ryder. She didn’t have feelings for him and yet she was drilling him about Veronica. She had no place to ask those questions, and she had to stop.

  “Anyway,” Stormy said. “Sorry to pry. I know it’s none of my business.”

  Ryder shrugged as he seemed to think nothing of it. “No worries.”

  “So what’s your plan for today?”

  “I was actually thinking about heading back to California,” he said.

  Stormy’s face fell. She knew he wasn’t there to stay long, but she didn’t think he’d take off after just two days.

  “Unless you want me to stay?” he said. “I don’t want to leave you hanging. If you need me to stay, to help you with anything, I will.”

  Stormy wanted him to stay even if only for the company he gave her. She liked having a piece of Jett with her. She liked how he inadvertently distracted her and made her smile more than she’d smiled in a long time.

  “Listen, you do what you need to do. Don’t worry about me,” she insisted. The last thing she wanted was for him to think she was needy and helpless.

  Ryder took a deep breath and sat in silence as he thought for a bit. He rubbed his hand across his stubble-covered, square jawline and then turned to her and flashed his charming, signature Ryder smile.

  “I think I can stick around one more day,” he said. “I’ll just leave first thing Saturday morning.”

  Stormy couldn’t help but smile back. She was so happy to hear he was staying another day. She wanted to get to know him a little more, she enjoyed his company, and there were still so many unanswered questi
ons.

  “So what do you want to do on your last day in Coleville?” she asked.

  “Gosh, that’s a tough one,” he said. “So many different options. How will I ever decide?”

  Stormy laughed at his sarcasm.

  “Why don’t you plan a day for us?” he asked. “Show me around town. Show me what’s changed in the last eight years. I’m perfectly fine just bumming around today and hanging out. I don’t need to be entertained.”

  “Sounds good to me,” she said. “Want to go for a ride on the bike?”

  Ryder stood up and stretched as he grabbed his keys and phone off the coffee table. They headed outside where Stormy stood on the front porch fidgeting with the sticky door lock.

  “Jett was going to fix this,” she said, embarrassed. “Never got around to it. Obviously.”

  The breeze swayed and rustled the green leaves on the sycamore trees that lined her street. It was a perfect June morning. The summer heat had yet to set in, and the sun was shining bright.

  “Allow me,” Ryder said. He pulled on the door, jiggled the lock, tightened something or other, and then the key went into the lock and turned as if it were brand new.

  “Wow, thanks,” Stormy said. “You’re good.”

  Ryder said nothing as he turned and walked towards his bike and climbed on. Stormy climbed behind him on the passenger seat as he started it up and rolled out of the driveway. The leather seat was warm beneath her jeans. The bike’s engine hummed softly, vibrating underneath her, and the breeze floated by, carrying the sweet scent of the neighbor’s flowering peony and lilac bushes. Stormy wanted to stay in that moment forever.

  They drove down Stormy’s street and headed towards Main Street. As they buzzed up and down the business district, Stormy pointed out the various shops and eateries that had closed and reopened under new management or had become yogurt shops and bars. The town was a far cry from what it was eight years ago, and with the demise of the appliance factory, everything had gone downhill fast.

  “Don’t you ever want to get out of Coleville?” Ryder asked as they pulled up to a stop. “Live someplace else? See what it’s like?”