Resisting Ryder

by Blakeley Wilde

  Stormy laughed and shook her head. “I wouldn’t say I’m beautiful. Broken maybe. Not beautiful.”

  “But you are!” he said, almost shouting it. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.”

  “Okay, now I know you’re lying. I’ve seen the women who live near you. I don’t even hold a flame to them,” Stormy said.

  “No, you don’t understand. Those women are vapid and shallow. Their exterior beauty is all they have,” he explained. “They hear my title and they’re all over me. I don’t want that. You are the whole package. Inside and out. You’re the most normal girl I’ve ever met, and I mean that in the best way. You’re a breath of fresh air.”

  “What you’re saying sounds really nice and all,” Stormy mumbled. She thought about Hayden and about how things were maybe starting to get on track with that. “I just don’t know if it’s what Jett would’ve wanted.”

  “You have no idea what Jett would’ve wanted. You can speculate all you want if it makes you feel less guilty or whatever,” Ryder huffed with a bitterness in his tone. “I know you feel something too. You’re just too scared to admit it.”

  Ryder hit the nail on the head, and Stormy knew it. The way she looked at it, she had two choices. She could completely close the chapter on Ryder and focus on Hayden and move on or she could accept that her feelings towards Ryder were real and that it was okay to explore whatever it was that was going on between them.

  “I’m not going to lie,” she prefaced. “I’ve felt something between us too.”

  Ryder’s faced seemed to light up a bit.

  “But how do I know I’m not drawn to you because you look like Jett?” she wondered. “You’re like the older, stronger, more independent version of the love of my life. I’m constantly comparing you to him and that’s not fair to either of you. Sometimes when I look at you, I only see him.”

  “I can’t control what you see when you look at me,” he replied. “That’s all you. But I can tell you what I see when I look at you.”

  Ryder repositioned himself so that he was facing her straight on. He stared at her face, which was caked with makeup from her failed girls’ night out, and took a deep breath.

  “I see a young woman who’s afraid to try anything new. She’s afraid to step out of her comfort zone. She loves with all her heart and yet at the same time she holds her cards close. She’s afraid to get hurt, but once she opens up, she has the most beautiful soul,” he said. “She’s protective and loyal and a little curious when she lets her guard down, which is rare. She likes comfort and routine, but I know she’d be a little more adventurous about things if she had the right partner beside her.”

  Stormy was blown away by how well he knew her. They had maybe spent five or six days together total in the last month, yet he knew her just as well as anyone else in her life if not better.

  “I see someone who has so much potential if she just stepped outside of her comfort zone once in a while,” he said. “You have the potential to go places in life and do great things, but you’re scared. I want to help you. I want to support you. I want to be there for you every step of the way. You don’t see what I see, Stormy. You don’t see it at all. People like you are rare.”

  “Wow,” Stormy remarked as her eyes misted up a little. “That’s, like, the nicest thing anyone’s ever said about me before. How do you know me so well? I feel like I hardly know you at all.”

  Ryder shrugged as he studied her face and her every move. He seemed so present, so in tune with her.

  She thought about Jett and what he would think in that moment, then she realized that maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe all he would’ve wanted was just for her to move on and be happy. She thought about Hayden. Hayden couldn’t stack up to Jett and he certainly would never stack up to Ryder, but Hayden was safe. She knew him. She’d known him since grade school. He wasn’t perfect, but he offered her the comfort and familiarity she didn’t quite have yet with Ryder.

  Ryder leaned in closer to her, and she knew he wanted to kiss her. She tried to fight it. She tried to deny her feelings, but they were too strong. She wanted to kiss him too. She wanted to be with him more than she cared to let herself admit.

  Stormy leaned closer to Ryder and pressed her lips against his. His kisses were soft and gentle, not hungry and passionate like Hayden’s were the night before. He was delicate with her and sweet.

  He tasted like cinnamon gum and he smelled like some sort of masculine body wash. She ran her fingers through his already mussed up hair and relished in that moment. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe it was wrong. Maybe it was all sorts of messed up, but she couldn’t deny that she was falling for him. She couldn’t stuff those feelings down anymore. Ryder was pretty amazing, and that she could not ignore.

  His hands traced her face softly before he ran his fingers through her loose, brunette curls. His touches were tender not naughty. He wasn’t only after one thing as far as she could tell. He was taking things slowly and that’s exactly what she needed. He always seemed to know exactly what she needed.

  CHAPTER 15

  Ryder slept on the couch that night while Stormy slept sound in her bed all alone. It was what she wanted though. She didn’t want to rush anything, and Ryder was perfectly fine with it.

  The next morning, she couldn’t wait to wake up and see him. She pounced on the couch at eight in the morning and woke him up with a sweet peck on the lips.

  “Hey,” he said with a smile as he sat up.

  There was something so freeing for Stormy to finally acknowledge her feelings. If he had never opened up to her the way he did the night before, she probably would’ve stuffed those feelings down so far she’d never find them ever again. She probably would’ve continued to ignore his calls and texts, and she would’ve settled for whatever life decided to throw her way which probably would’ve been Hayden.

  “So I didn’t ask you, but how long are you in town this time?” she asked.

  “Well, I have an open ended ticket home,” he said. “And I have my rental car. It kind of just depended on how things went last night. I wasn’t sure how it was going to go.”

  “I think things went pretty well. I don’t know about you,” Stormy teased.

  Ryder smiled and nodded. “Sorry I poured my heart out like that. I’m usually not that, um, open about things.”

  “I’m glad you said those things,” she replied. “I was really confused about a lot of things, still am, but your words sort of solidified some of the feelings I was trying to ignore.”

  “Ignoring your feelings is the worst thing you can do,” he said. “Believe me. They’ll come out one way or another and sometimes not in good ways.”

  “I’m sure,” she agreed. She stood up and went over to the thick, drawn curtains and pulled them open. She was okay with letting the light in that day. In fact, she welcomed it. As she pulled the second curtain back she saw a black Jeep driving slowly past her house.

  “Shit,” she whispered to herself. She knew Hayden was probably checking on her and wondering why there was some random car parked in her driveway. She also wondered why, on the Fourth of July, he wasn’t up at the lake house.

  “What do you want to do today?” Ryder asked as he folded the blankets and sat them neatly on the arm of the couch. “It’s the Fourth. I’m sure we can find a decent fireworks show somewhere around here.”

  She spun around, instantly feeling guilty about her little unintentional love triangle.

  “Um,” she stalled. She felt the need to text Hayden and explain, but she didn’t want him to know she saw him driving by. “Yeah, the fire department does fireworks. We can go out to Odemeyer Road and find a little spot to park and watch.”

  “Sounds nice and low key,” he said.

  “What’s the plan today?” she asked. “It won’t get dark until almost nine. We’ve got the entire day to burn.”

  “I guess I hadn’t really thought about it,” he said. “I was half expecting you to slam the
door in my face and half expecting you to be with that douchebag ex of yours.”

  “Heh,” Stormy let out a nervous laugh.

  “Has he been hassling you again?” Ryder asked.

  “He’s stopped by a couple times,” Stormy said, keeping it short and sweet. “I wouldn’t say he’s been hassling me per se.”

  “Who’s that pulling up in front of your house?” Ryder asked as he pointed out the window.

  Hayden’s Jeep was parked in the street out front, and he was making his way up the walkway towards her door.

  “Give me a minute,” she said as she hurriedly slipped on a pair of flip flops by the door and walked out to the porch.

  “What the hell’s going on?” Hayden asked, all wild eyed. She had never seen him so jealous and accusatory before. “Who’s at your house right now?”

  Stormy breathed in deep as she searched for the words.

  “It’s a guy isn’t it?” he demanded to know. “Who is it?”

  “Hayden,” Stormy said as she placed her hand on his chest. He seemed ready to charge in her door at any second. “First of all, you and I aren’t even really together. Second of all, I don’t know if I’m ready to explore anything with you again. And thirdly, I’ve kind of fallen for someone else.”

  Hayden looked crushed. Devastated. His face fell as he took a step back.

  “I knew it,” he said. “I knew I lost you forever.”

  He shook his head as he stepped even further away from her.

  “I hope you and what’s-his-name are very happy together,” he sulked. He turned and strutted back to his Jeep.

  “Hayden!” she yelled after him. “We can still be friends, right?”

  His back was towards her as he threw one hand in the air and flipped her off. He hopped in his car and sped down the street. She knew he was upset. She couldn’t blame him. She couldn’t hold any of that against him.

  With her love triangle officially over, she headed back inside where Ryder was sitting on the couch. She was sure he heard everything through those thin living room windows, but he didn’t say a word.

  “Everything okay?” he asked.

  “I think so,” she said. “Just a bruised ego.”

  Ryder raised his eyebrows.

  “His. Not mine,” she clarified. “He’s not used to being rejected and not getting what he wants.”

  Ryder tugged on her arm and pulled her into his lap as he wrapped his arms around her.

  “I think you made the right choice,” he teased. “Hometown hero who also happens to be a jerk wad? Or powerful, big city biker guy who happens to be really, really ridiculously good looking and crazy about you?”

  Stormy playfully slapped his chest and giggled. She loved that he had a sense of humor about everything. Even Jett, as much as she loved him, could rarely get her to laugh the way Ryder did. Jett was always so serious, but she couldn’t blame him for that. Jett seemed to live his life in black and white. Ryder was pure Technicolor.

  “I’m going to hop in the shower if that’s okay,” Ryder said as he nudged her to get up.

  “Of course,” she replied. “Make yourself at home.”

  As Ryder grabbed his things out of his car and headed back inside to get ready, Stormy headed back to her room to tidy up a bit. As she fluffed her pillows and made her bed, she caught the glimmer of her rose gold promise ring sitting on her nightstand. She felt bad for hurting Hayden, even though he had probably hurt her ten times worse before. She didn’t like to hurt people. It wasn’t in her nature. She imagined he was probably crying by now and thinking of ways he could win her back. He was never one to go down without a fight. She reminded herself that she had picked the right guy in choosing Ryder and that Hayden was getting a good old-fashioned dose of his own medicine. It was nothing but pure karma.

  Later that night, Ryder drove them out to Odemeyer Road where they found a spot nestled along the side of the road between various other Coleville locals. They put a blanket down in the field and laid down as they prepared to watch the show.

  The sun was setting fast and it was only a matter of time before the fireworks began. They had spent the day mostly doing nothing but in a good way. They had taken a walk, had a million and one conversations about completely random things, shared sweet kisses, and reminisced about the days when life was simpler.

  The instant the sky was filled with night and stars, the fireworks started. One by one, one after another, bright bursts of gorgeous colors spread out in various patterns. The pops and crackles shot through the air and tickled their ears. It was a splendid sight, and Stormy couldn’t think of anyone better to spend it with than Ryder.

  “What would you be doing tonight if you were back home?” Stormy asked him.

  “There’s a little bar by the ocean that my buddy owns,” he said. “He usually reserves a table on the roof for a bunch of us. We watch the fireworks from there. It’s sort of tucked away. A special place.”

  “Aw,” Stormy said. “I’m sorry you’re missing that right now. That sounds really nice.”

  He turned towards her. “I’d rather be with you than there.”

  Her heart warmed over as he said those words.

  “Move to California, Stormy,” he said as he propped himself up on his elbow and turned to look her in the eyes. “I’m completely serious. Be my old lady. Help me find out who killed Jett.”

  Stormy laughed. “Don’t be ridiculous. That’s not realistic for me right now.”

  “If I figure everything out for you and all you have to do is pack your bag and hop on a flight and be there tomorrow, would you?” he propositioned her.

  It was very tempting to Stormy, but it scared her to the core. She was a planner, and adapting to big changes was not her strong point.

  “What’s stopping you? Really?” he asked.

  “My house for one,” she said. “I don’t know how long it would take to sell it.”

  “I can take care of that,” he said. “I’ll buy it from you.”

  “That’s insane,” Stormy laughed. “Also, I need a job.”

  “I’ll take care of you until you find one,” he insisted. “Old ladies don’t work anyway. You don’t even need a job.”

  “Then I’ll feel like I owe you,” she said. “I don’t want to feel that way. And I certainly don’t want to feel like a mooch.”

  “You’re not a mooch,” he said. “And you won’t owe me anything. I want to do this. I want to be with you, but I can’t do the long distance thing. This is the only way it would work.”

  “But can’t you work from anywhere?” Stormy asked. “Your companies. They’re all online, right?”

  “Yeah, but my headquarters is L.A. I have investors and partners there,” he said.

  “Veronica,” Stormy huffed.

  “Yes, Veronica,” he laughed. “But that’s not why. She has nothing to do with anything. Believe me. That ship sailed a long time ago.”

  “We’re missing the show. Can we talk about this later?” Stormy changed the subject. He leaned back down on the blanket as she curled up to him with her head on his shoulder. She tried to focus on the fiery, colorful swirls and shapes flying through the air, but all she thought about was Ryder’s proposition.

  The moment the show ended and they were back inside Ryder’s rental car, the topic came up again.

  “Stormy, we really need to figure something out,” he said.

  “What’re you talking about?” She played dumb.

  “You know exactly what I’m talking about,” he scoffed. “Are you moving out west or not?”

  “The thought of picking up and leaving and moving to be with someone I’ve only known a short time is terrifying for me,” she said. “You have to understand that.”

  “Trying to have a relationship with someone halfway across the country is not doable for me,” he said. “Long distance relationships never work out. I want to give this a fair chance.”

  “Where would I live?” she asked.

>   “You could stay with me until you get a job and then I’d help you find a place,” he said. “And I’m completely serious about buying your place. If you don’t want to sell it, why don’t you rent it out? That would give you some extra income so you don’t feel so dependent on me for things, not that I wouldn’t help you out.”

  Stormy bit her nails with nervousness and excitement as she thought about it. The idea of packing up her bags and hopping on a one-way flight terrified her, but she knew if she wanted to see where this was going with Ryder, she had no other choice.

  “I’d rather not sell my house,” she said. “Just in case this doesn’t work out. I need a place to come home to.”

  “Completely understand.”

  “I guess I’ll post an ad online looking for renters,” she sighed. “You win.”

  Ryder beamed from ear to ear as he reached over and squeezed her hand hard. He really did like her. He really did want to be with her. He really was serious about trying to make it work.

  “Are you sure Zander will be okay with me staying with you guys for a bit?” she asked.

  “Zander reports to me. His opinion doesn’t matter,” Ryder snickered. “But of course he’ll be fine.”

  “Okay, good,” she giggled.

  “And if he’s not, well, I own the condo. I’ll just tell him to take a hike,” Ryder said.

  Stormy loved that Ryder was a no nonsense kind of guy, but every once in a while she saw a tiny bit of the alpha dog control freak in him come out. She didn’t know if it scared her or turned her on.

  They arrived back at the trailer and headed back inside. The crickets chirped stridently outside and the cool air of the inside of the house was a welcome relief from the humid, July night air.

  Stormy’s hair was sticking to her sweaty neck, and Ryder’s face was glistening.

  “I’m not used to all this humidity anymore,” he said as he wiped his brow.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten used to it,” she replied as she gathered her hair at the nape of her neck and moved it over her shoulder. She fanned her face as she attempted to cool off. Impatiently she stripped her t-shirt off right then and there, leaving nothing but her shorts and camisole.