Rayna felt like a whole new woman with her blonde hair, and that’s exactly what she’d been hoping for.
The woman she’d been before she was abducted was gone.
Dead.
Buried in a shallow grave with her father.
“You look great.”
Rayna’s gaze met Laura’s in the mirror.
“You think so?”
Laura wrapped her arms around her shoulders and leaned down so their faces were side by side.
“Your color is returning, you got your hair done. You’re finally wearing clean clothes of your own, you’re safe...the rest will come with time.”
Rayna knew Laura was right.
“Thanks for coming all the way out here to do this for me. Once I got all of my things unpacked and put away, I went to take a shower and I just...I don’t know. I needed a change.”
Laura nodded and began to put away all of her supplies.
“I understand, Rayna. I really do.”
As Laura began to put her supplies away, Rayna stood and headed for her bathroom, where a small makeup bag was waiting for her.
It’d been so long since she’d worn any makeup, but she wanted to.
She wanted to cover the bruises on her face, she wanted to look normal again.
“Are you staying for the bonfire?”
Laura shook her head.
“No, I’ve got a surgery scheduled for tomorrow morning. Just stick with Fury and you’ll be okay.”
“I think I’ll just stick to myself.”
She didn’t want to think about Fury and what she’d heard.
He felt sorry for her.
That’s why he was being so nice to her.
For the life of her, Rayna couldn’t figure out why the hell that bothered her- hadn’t she already known that?
Isn’t that what she’d already assumed?
Maybe it hurt worse to hear the words from his mouth, instead of just assuming that’s how he felt.
The babysitting comment though, that one threw her off guard. Damn near crushed her feelings too, because Rayna didn't need a babysitter.
She liked Fury, but if he thought of her as some stray dog that he had to babysit, well then fuck him.
Rayna knew she was worth more than that.
“The men here have been alone a long time,” Laura said.
Rayna shrugged.
“So have I. I’m used to it.”
Laura sighed and sat down on the edge of Rayna’s bed.
“Look, you’ve been through a lot. Nobody here expects anything from you, okay? Ox is a good man, he’ll keep you safe no matter what that means. Fury’s just...different. He’s got a dark side to him that confuses the hell out of all of us sometimes.”
“He was so nice to me. I thought we were friends, ya know? I don’t...I don’t have anyone left, and he just...I felt a connection there I haven’t felt in a long time,” Rayna admitted.
Laura’s expression softened like she knew exactly what Rayna was talking about.
“It’s okay to feel that way.”
Rayna began to apply a thick concealer to her face.
“Slayer thinks I’m hot.”
Laura scoffed.
“Slayer thinks anything with a vagina is hot, honey. Don’t let him fool you.”
Rayna smiled to herself.
“It’s nice to know he thinks I’m hot even though he knows what the Blazin’ Eagles did to me,” She admitted sheepishly.
Laura frowned and shook her head.
“You don’t have anything to be ashamed of. What they did to you was horrible, and they deserved what they got!”
“I know. I guess I just thought that maybe Fury could still find me beautiful even though I did all of those dirty things with those men.”
Laura felt tears well up in her own eyes as she watched Rayna carefully apply foundation to her face.
“Honey, you didn’t do dirty things with those men. You were forced to do those things. There’s a difference, and no one here thinks you did anything wrong. Okay?”
Rayna glanced at Laura and nodded.
“Okay, Laura.”
With a huff and a surprise hug, Laura wrapped her arms around Rayna before she grabbed her bag from the end of her bed.
“Have fun tonight, Rayna.”
After her bedroom door closed, Rayna exhaled slowly and looked at herself in the mirror.
Blonde, who would have thought?
Rayna had never dyed or bleached her hair in her whole life.
She’d thought about it, but the thick mass was always too long, too heavy, for her to get the courage to actually go through with it.
She used to covet her hair.
Now, the idea seemed so shallow.
Who cared about the length of her hair?
As she finished applying her makeup she heard the unmistakable sound of rock music coming from outside, and assumed that meant that the bonfire had officially started.
While she’d been waiting for Laura to arrive earlier she’d met the new prospects for the club- two guys that went by the names of Arrow and Torch.
Rayna had no idea the club was even accepting prospects because the Seven Deadlies never had more than seven members...ever.
They were nice enough, she supposed. Arrow was a tall, lean guy with brown hair and honey colored eyes. He was sweet.
Torch on the other hand was the exact opposite- big as a house, and not talkative at all.
He must be Limit’s prospect.
The idea had her grinning.
Rayna sighed in defeat and finally admitted to herself that she was stalling because she didn’t want to face Fury, and she knew she was being foolish.
What could she even say?
“Sorry, I thought I would have liked you?”
He didn’t give a shit about her. He was only following orders by being nice to her, by babysitting her, and honestly, Rayna knew she should be glad that she’d learned the truth early on.
What if she’d actually come to depend on his help?
Depending on anyone other than herself would get her killed.
She’d learned that lesson the hard way.
I liked him.
I like him alot, and he turned out to be an ass.
Rayna slowly opened her bedroom door before she headed directly for the bar. Arrow stood on the opposite side, a bottle of whiskey in his hand.
“Can you give me some tequila, please?”
Arrow looked up at her, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.
“You got I.D.?”
“Not anymore,” She said honestly.
His smile fell and he swore.
“Shit, darlin’ I was just jokin’. You want it mixed with anything?”
“Sprite.”
He set a glass down in front of her while he filled it.
“You look great, by the way. I like what you’ve done with your hair,” Arrow said.
Rayna fingered the bleached locks.
“Thanks. I appreciate it.”
He nodded and slid the glass towards her.
“No problem. You’re easily the best lookin’ babe in this place.”
He followed that compliment up with a wink that had Rayna smiling.
“I don’t know about that, but I will gladly accept your compliment and this drink.”
Arrow got back to work as she sipped on her drink.
Thankfully Laura made her a small sandwich before she started on her hair.
The food had settled better the second time around, something Laura told her was a good sign. Rayna knew she probably shouldn’t be drinking with whatever medicine Laura had her on, but at the moment, she didn’t care.
The moment the tequila passed her lips, she knew she wouldn’t be stopping until she was shit faced.
The burn in the back of her throat was familiar, like a long lost friend- yeah, Rayna was going to get so drunk the only thing she’d remember was her name.
“Slow down
, sweetheart. You’ll make yourself sick.”
Rayna looked over to see Rider leaning against the bar watching her.
His kind eyes made her cringe.
“I already make myself sick,” She quipped.
His smile faded and he motioned for Arrow to fill his glass.
Even though she didn’t want company, Rider sat down on the stool next to hers.
“Why would you say somethin’ like that?”
Rayna pushed her own glass in Arrow’s direction and waited for him to refill it.
“Why do you think?”
Rayna wasn’t trying to be mean.
She just didn’t want to talk.
About anything.
She also didn’t want to be chastised for trying to forget.
“Message received. I won’t bother you,” Rider said softly.
He made to move and Rayna stopped him with a hand wrapped around his wrist.
“I’m sorry. Really, I’m not- I haven’t been spoken to in three months. Only spoken at. I just want to forget for a little while.”
His blue eyes were trained on her face when he finally nodded.
“Why don’t you come sit by the fire with me? I bet I can get Arrow to rustle up some marshmallows you can roast,” He said.
The offer was so innocent, so sweet, so fucking simple, that Rayna couldn’t refuse.
“Sure, why not?”
Rider smiled and grabbed her drink.
“Find us marshmallows, prospect.”
“Aye, aye!”
Rayna waved at Arrow as she stepped outside beside Rider.
She could see Green, Limit, and Prettyboy crowded around the fire. Each one had a beer in hand one hand and a cigarette in the other.
All of them looked up as she neared them.
Green wolf whistled and almost tripped over himself in an effort to get to her.
“Sweet newborn Jesus, did you dye your hair?”
Rayna stopped in her tracks at his dumbfounded expression and did something she never thought she’d do again...
She laughed.
“Yeah, I had Laura bleach it for me. Do you like it?”
Green snorted as he came near her, his long hair falling into his eyes.
“Like it? Babe, you look like a ray of sunshine.”
Rayna smiled even wider at his sweet words.
“You keep sweet talkin’ me like that, I’m likely to fall in love with you.”
Green’s mouth fell open and Rider laughed, slapping Green on the back as he handed Rayna her drink.
“Really?,” He asked.
Rayna’s smile only fell a fraction of an inch, something she was proud of.
She gently patted his cheek.
“You’re the type of man a good girl deserves. One day you’ll find your good girl.”
He frowned, but Rayna didn’t take the time to elaborate.
Instead, she pressed her glass to her mouth and stepped closer to the fire, her free hand spread in an attempt to feel the heat.
“How ya feelin’?”
Rayna looked up to see Prettyboy watching her from across the flames.
The bandana covering the lower half of his face looked even more intimidating with the flames flickering in his green eyes.
“I’ll feel amazing in a few minutes.”
She raised her glass slightly.
He didn’t say anything for a moment before he dipped his dark head.
“You sure you wanna let that sour nectar drown your mind?”
“Tastes sweet to me,” She said as she sipped on it.
A high-pitched laugh caught her attention and Rayna turned to see a pretty brunette hanging off of Fury’s shoulder.
Instantaneous anger heated Rayna’s cheeks, but she held her tongue. Instead she pressed her glass harder against her mouth.
She got it.
She wasn’t Fury’s type.
Fuck, she wasn’t anyone’s type anymore- she was damaged goods. Damaged, and broken, and ruined-
“You squeeze that glass any tighter, you’ll crack the glass, baby.”
“Better than his throat,” Rayna muttered, as she turned to face Ox.
He grinned down at her, like he knew just how pissed she was, as he motioned towards the back end of the lot.
“Walk with me.”
She took the arm he held out to her.
“Tell me what’s goin’ on inside that head of yours,” Ox suggested.
Rayna balked at the idea altogether.
“Come on. It’s just you and me.”
She sighed and looked up at the stars while they walked; they were so bright out here.
“Why did you send Fury to find me?,” She finally asked.
Ox glanced at her as he sipped from his own glass.
Whiskey, she’d be willing to bet.
“I knew he’d do the job.”
Rayna shook her head.
“I don’t believe that. Fury ain’t the kind of man you send to save a damsel in distress. Why wouldn’t you send Rider? Or Green?”
Ox sighed.
“I knew Fury would protect you.”
Rayna noted the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes, the way he looked at anything but her.
She stopped walking.
With shaking fingers she pulled on the edges of his cut.
“You knew me before I was taken. You knew me, Ox. That innocent little girl is gone. She’s never coming back, okay? Don’t lie to me.”
Ox ran a hand through his hair.
“I don’t understand what the problem is, babe. Did he hurt you?”
Rayna smiled sadly.
She tugged on his cut again as her forehead fell against his chest.
“No, Ox. So far he’s rescued me, held me in the shower while I almost literally cried my eyes right out of my head, cuddled me against his chest as I tried like hell to fall asleep, and this morning he made me soup. You and I both know Fury doesn’t do those things. He’s not that kind of man. I don’t need anyone else to tell me that, Ox. I know the difference.”
Ox wrapped his hands around Rayna’s.
“My question is, if he’s doin’ all of that for me...why does he have a tagalong attached to his hip right now?”
Ox’s gaze fell behind her shoulders.
Rayna didn't have the heart to look again.
“He’s sending you mixed signals, huh?”
She nodded.
“Damn. I’m sorry. I honestly thought it would do him some good to get out of the clubhouse, to give him a task. He’s been spiraling ever since we fought the Steel ponies.”
Rayna frowned and pulled away just enough to see Ox’s face.
“What? Why?”
He frowned at her like she should already know the answer.
“They killed his sister, Rayna. That’s one of the reasons we didn't know you and your dad were missing right away. We were busy fighting a war,” Ox whispered.
Rayna dropped her face back against his chest and shuddered when he wrapped his arms around her.
They killed Fury’s sister?
“Why’d they kill her?”
“She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It happened five months ago, before you were taken. He didn’t take it well, and he hasn’t gotten any better. I just thought that maybe, if he saved you, eventually he’d learn to forgive himself because he couldn’t save her.”
Rayna understood what Ox was saying, but it didn’t make her feel any better.
“I’m not a good project, Ox.”
Ox nudged her chin up and shook his head.
His amber eyes were intense, almost glowing in the moonlight; his long hair fell into his eyes, making him look like a demon of the night.
The strands of gray that were barely visible in the daytime were practically neon underneath the pearly regard of the moon.
“Why would you say something like that?”
“Because it’s the truth, Ox. I’m ruined. Okay? Those men fucking ruined me,
and I have no idea how to handle that!”
He tightened his hold on her chin and inhaled sharply.
Rayna was assaulted by the scent of the whiskey on his breath, the way his wide shoulders blocked the sight of Fury and the laughing brunette.
“You ain’t ruined, baby. You’re just a little broken.”
His words had her heart thundering in her chest, her pulse roaring in her ears.
Just a little broken?
If Rayna was just a little broken, then why did it feel like she was still shattered into a million pieces on the floor of the Blazin’ Eagles’s bathroom?
Why did it feel like she’d let her soul burn to death in the fire along with everything else?
Why was it that Fury was the only thing she could think about, the only thing that kept the pain at bay?
“Your daddy would be proud of you, Rayna.”
Ox’s words startled her.
“He would? But, I killed all those men.”
“You didn’t kill those men just to kill them. You killed them to survive. In this lifestyle that’s about the only law we abide by; do what you have to do to survive. So yeah, he’d be fuckin’ proud of you.”
Rayna felt his arms fall to his sides and she took a moment to swallow the lukewarm tequila and Sprite in her glass.
“She gone?”
“Loretta? Yeah, it’s just the boys out here now. And if Fury sends one more glare my way I’m gonna break his fuckin’ jaw.”
Rayna covered her mouth when a giggle escaped.
Her eyes widened over the top of her hand and Ox smiled down at her.
“See? It may not seem like it right now, but you will be okay. I’ll go get you another drink.”
She let Ox take her glass from her as she walked back to the fire, her hands tucked in her pockets.
The crew was chatting, laughing, ribbing each other like friends do.
She took a moment to soak it all in.
“Look who decided to join us! Come sit next to me, sunshine. We’ll roast a marshmallow together,” Green called.
Rayna, feeling a little loosey-goosey from the tequila, smiled at him.
“Don’t mind if I do,” She said as she sat down beside him.
The fire felt good against her skin, all warm and cozy.
Green handed her a marshmallow and a stick.
“Sorry it ain’t fancy, sweetheart.”
She bumped shoulders with him and shoved her mallow into the fire.
Wrath (Seven Deadlies MC) Page 6