Breathe

by Amber Lacie

  His arms wrap around my waist, pulling me against him. “Carsten.”

  “Owen.”

  “You are beautiful. Say it.”

  “It.”

  He pinches my ass, causing me to yelp. “That’s because you’re a smartass. Say it right this time.”

  I debate saying something sarcastic, but I decide against it. “I am beautiful.”

  “That you are. Are you ready to go?”

  Holding up my clutch, I give it a little wave in the air. “I have everything I need.”

  “Good. Oh, Rebecca may have called and she may be mad that you’re not in the limo with the other girls.”

  “Seriously? Why on earth does she need a limo for just the girls? There’s Rebecca, her mom, Jefferson’s wife, and me. Four people do not need a limo.”

  “I love that you realize this, but she doesn’t. That’s why there is a limo. Don’t worry. I promised to have you delivered in time for pre-wedding pictures.” He opens the door for me and I step out into the hallway.

  “Wait, the guys don’t have a limo?”

  “Thankfully, no. Mark talked her out of it.”

  He holds my hand in his all the way to the elevator.

  *****

  My thoughts are lost in him, as the doors open to the lobby. My shoe steps onto the white tile floors, when a familiar voice makes all the hair on my body stand on end. I freeze instantly. Owen forces me to take a couple of steps, so he can get out of the elevator, as well.

  “Baby. Look at me.”

  My heart has fallen out from under me. Tears of hatred prick my eyes, as I look across the lobby towards the man talking to the girl behind the desk. He has put on at least fifty pounds. His hair is thinning and the shirt he’s wearing may be too small, but I would recognize him anywhere. I am frozen from complete shock of being so close to him. The girl behind the counter smiles at him, while handing him a room key. Turning around, he looks up from the desk, his eyes meet mine, and I instantly start to panic, as Michael takes a few steps towards us.

  “Owen, please.” I squeeze his hand in mine, still unable to move from my spot. “Please, help me.”

  He steps in front of me, locking my eyes with his. “Carsten, I love you. You are freaking me out. Tell me what to do, baby.”

  “Just get me out of here.”

  “Done.” Bending down, he sweeps me into his arms. Turning my face into his chest, I take a deep breath. Maybe Michael didn’t see me. Maybe this is all in my head.

  “Funny seeing you here. I thought you were in New York now, living it up since your boyfriend…wait I forgot he proposed…since your fiancé died.” I close my eyes. I was right, after all. Lifting my head up, I see Michael standing in front of us, completely stopping us in our tracks. “Looks like you found someone else to trap.” His voice grates against my skin. I tighten my hold on Owen.

  “Baby, tell me who I’m looking at.” I am frozen in fear. What if Michael tries something? Oh, God. Could he hurt Owen? “Carsten. I’m ten seconds away from losing my shit. Who am I looking at?

  “Michael.” The devil’s name falls from my lips in a soft whisper. Owen tenses at the mere mention of his name.

  “Right. I thought you would say that. I’m going to take you outside now. I need you to stay where I put you. Okay?” Nodding my head, I lean against his chest. “No, Carsten. I need to hear you say it.”

  “I will stay where you put me.”

  “Thank you.” He carries me outside and sets me down on a white wooden bench outside the main foyer. “Please, stay here.” I slowly nod my head, watching him with wide eyes, as he walks back into the hotel.

  Whether I agreed to stay here or not, I am not letting him go back in there alone. Jumping up from the bench, I made it back to the door, when I see Owen in Michael’s face. Owen presses his index finger into Michael’s chest repeatedly, as he continues to lecture him in a low hushed voice. Michael shrinks back from him with wide, fearful eyes.

  Looking around, I notice that everyone in the lobby is now staring at the spectacle taking place before me. “Owen, baby, please. Let’s just go.”

  He turns to me with a grim face. “You couldn’t do it, could you.” It is not a question. It is a statement.

  “No. I can’t stay away from you. I need you.”

  Sighing, Owen walks towards me, leaving Michael hiding against a wall. “Alright.” His arms slide around my waist, as he kisses the top of my head. “You have me.”

  Isn’t it odd how some people are only brave when there is no one around to confront them about their actions? They spout horrid things, hurtful things, and others with no remorse because there is no one bigger or stronger to stop them. Occasionally, they forget where they are and they make a mistake. They slip up, releasing their ignorance in front of the wrong person. Today, Michael makes the mistake, and Owen is the wrong person.

  “Of course, you would run to her when she calls. It’s what he did too, you know. She’d call him and he’d come running in like some savior. Some hero he was. Right, Carsten? Idiot didn’t even know how to read a street sign. That piece of shit deserved to die, just like you deserve a lifetime of pain for every ounce of trouble you’ve caused me.”

  A searing pain pierces my heart. Why does he always have to cut so deep? What does he gain from my pain? Tears slip from my eyes. Gently holding my face in his hands, Owen leans down and kisses my tears. “Ssh. It’s okay. I got you.” Those three words hold so much power for me. I don’t think he understands what they mean to me. I nod my head in his hands, as kisses the top of my head.

  Michael is standing with a smirk on his face. He obviously thinks his words have finalized our meeting. Owen steps back, slowly lowering his hands to my waist, as he gives me a soft, delicate kiss on the tip of my nose. “Stay here this time. Promise me.”

  “I promise.” I stand perfectly still, just as I promised. Owen turns around, his fists clench at his sides, as he steps towards Michael. His voice roars, echoing around me. My mouth drops at the strength and power pouring from Owen’s stance.

  “Don’t talk to her. Ever. Don’t breathe near her. Don’t even look at her.”

  Michael sneers at Owen. “I’m looking at her right now and all I see is some dirty, washed up slut.”

  Owen’s arm swings back, releasing a thunderous punch right to Michael’s bottom jaw. Michael stumbles back, nearly falling over from the impact. I smile at Michael’s reaction. I wonder how he feels getting knocked around. Michael stands, rubbing his jaw. His fingers wipe away the blood, now coming from his lip.

  “Motherfucker.” Michael rushes towards Owen, but Owen easily sidesteps him, grabbing him by the collar and jerking him backwards. Michael’s back hits a wall and Owen lets loose with three more swings, connecting with Michael’s face each time. Michael is leaning over, completely spent and broken. As much as I want him destroyed, I don’t want to see it done by the hands of the man I love. I love him.

  I don’t know why my soul chooses this moment to confess itself, but it does. I love him. Rushing towards Owen, I grab his arm, as he pulls back again to lay into Michael. Owen’s movements halt at my touch. “Owen. I want to go. Please.” Deep blue eyes meet mine. The turmoil between finishing Michael off and coming with me is prevalent in his gaze. My fingers slide up the clenched muscles in his arm to his face. I gently trace his beard, before resting my palm on the side of his cheek. “For me. Please.”

  Owen lowers his arm and follows me outside to where our rental car is parked. At this point, I am sure that we have missed some pictures, if not most of them. I open my door and slide into my seat. Owen is still dazed, no doubt from his encounter with the asshole. He flinches, as he grabs the keys from his pocket. His knuckles are red and bloody. I am not sure if it is his blood or Michael’s. Is he hurt?

  “Owen?”

  “Not right now, Carsten. I just need to process everything.” He starts the car and pulls out of the hotel parking lot, heading straight for Rebecca’s parent�
��s place. Neither of us talk during the fifteen-minute drive. I simply point one direction or another with my finger and Owen follows without a word.

  *****

  By the time, we reach her house, the blood on his hands is dry. He parks in the grass in a spot someone in an orange vest directs him to. I step out of the car immediately, rushing towards the house. Rebecca catches me as I slam open the front door.

  “Carsten, what the hell? You were supposed to be here forty minutes ago.”

  “Becca. I don’t have time. I need a wet washcloth, a towel, and ice.”

  Placing her hand on her hip, Rebecca stomps her foot. “What do you mean you don’t have time? Do you realize I have put everything on hold just for you because I need you here?”

  It is not Rebecca’s fault, to be honest I can take the blame for the horrible series of events, which took place this morning, but I lose my shit anyway. “Becca. Shut. Up. I don’t have time for this. Owen is sitting in the car with bloody fists. I need something to clean him up with and ice for his hands. Either point me in the right direction, or so help me God, I will tear this kitchen apart trying to find everything. Do not get in my way.”

  “Wait, did you say blood?” She steps to the side, as I pull open several drawers, slamming them shut when I can’t find what I am looking for.

  “Yes. Michael was at the hotel and decided it would be a great time to start shit. Owen finished it.”

  “Oh…Oh, fuck. Is Owen okay?” My words finally click into place in her mind and she opens the freezer, dumping some ice into a small plastic bag.

  “I don’t know.” Finding a washcloth, I run it under cold water. Rebecca hands me the bag of ice and I rush back to the car as fast as I can.

  *****

  Owen is still sitting in the driver’s seat with his hands locked on the wheel. Opening his door, I slowly lean over and gently wipe the blood off of his hands. Thankfully, only one of his knuckles is split open. Most of the blood must have been Michael’s.

  Owen looks up at me with tears in his eyes. My heart breaks from seeing him so distraught. “Babe. Can you step out of the car for me? I just want to look you over.” Nodding his head, he steps out of the car. I close the door behind him. He leans up against the car and pushes my hands away, as I try to press the bag of ice to swollen skin.

  “Stop.”

  I can’t do this. I can’t pretend anything that just happened was okay. It was far from okay. Michael’s words echo in my mind, tearing apart whatever resolve I have left. Sniffing, I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand, as I stare at the stupid brave man in front of me.

  “Don’t do that. It only makes me want to hurt him more.”

  A soft cry falls from my lips, while tears run down my face. “I don’t want you hurt because of me.” I try to press the bag of ice against his hand. He pulls away from me again. “Please. Let me help you.”

  “I’m okay, Carsten. I don’t need ice. I just needed a few minutes. I have never felt so angry in my life. If you wouldn’t have stopped me, I’m not sure how far I would’ve taken things.”

  “I’m sorry you’re hurt. I’m sorry I made you do that.” I wipe another tear away.

  “You didn’t make me do anything. I did that all on my own…Stop this.” Owen gently brushes away another tear. “Why are you crying? Baby, look at me. I’m okay. Was it what he said? Is that why you are crying?”

  “No… I mean it hurt, it was awful. It killed me to hear him say those words, but that is what he does. He finds the thing that hurts me the most and he cuts me with it. It is who he is. I am more concerned about you.”

  His fingers slowly wrap around the back of my neck, pulling me towards him. He gently places a kiss to my forehead. “Don’t worry about me. I’m okay. I keep telling you that.”

  Closing my eyes, I lay my head against his chest, as his fingers trail against my bare skin. “You’re not okay. I saw what you did. You tried to save me from it, but I didn’t listen. I couldn’t let you go back in there with him. I love you, Owen. I can’t bear the thought of something happening to you. I need you.”

  Owen’s fingers stop, his body becomes rigid. I can’t figure out what I have done to make him freeze like this. “Carsten?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You said you love me.”

  “I did…I love you, Owen.”

  Softly lifting my chin with the tips of his fingers, he presses a kiss to my lips. My mouth opens to him, as he claims my body and my soul with his kiss. My fingers twist in his hair, as I lean into him. Breaking the kiss, he pulls back, looking back at me with his deep blue eyes. “Marry me.”

  “What?”

  “Marry me. I can’t go another day without knowing you are mine. What if you slip through my fingers?”

  “That would never happen. I need you. You calm me.”

  “Then marry me.”

  “Owen—”

  “Don’t think about it. When I tell you I want to spend the rest of my life making you laugh, protecting you, and giving you the life you deserve, what is the first thought that comes to you mind?”

  “I want it. All of it.”

  “Then marry me.”

  “Okay.” I put the life I had with Holden on hold so many times, waiting for the right moment or planning things out. None of it ended how I pictured it and in the end, I missed out on so much time with him. I don’t want to waste the time I have with Owen.

  “Okay? Yeah?”

  Nodding my head, a few tears fall from my eyes. For once, they aren’t because I am hurt or broken; no, these are happy tears. I could stay like this all day. My body hums when I am with him. He is the calm to my storm.

  Owen places soft little kisses all over my face. I giggle, as he lifts me in the air, spinning me around. I love him so much. He slowly lowers me back to his chest, just as Mark walks up to us.

  “Sorry to intrude, lovebirds, but my wife-to-be is going to have a heart attack if the wedding doesn’t start on time.”

  “Sorry, Mark. That would be my fault. I had to convince her to marry me before she got away.” Owen’s grin spreads across his face.

  “Wow. I can say I didn’t see that one coming. Carsten, what have you done to the always single, Owen?”

  “Always single?” I raise my eyebrow at Owen. He gives me a quick wink, before pressing another kiss to my forehead. “I guess I got lucky.”

  “Luck had nothing to do with it, little girl. We were meant to find each other.”

  Blushing, I look over to Mark who is still staring at us, completely stunned by Owen’s revelation. We follow Mark over to the gazebo.

  I follow the path of brightly covered flowers to where Rebecca is waiting. I fix her dress, making sure to smooth out her train. Violins start to play and we take our spots in line. Jefferson is patiently waiting for his wife at the end of a long, white runner in the center of the aisles. She takes his arm with a smile and he escorts her down the aisle.

  I am next. Owen steps up to the runner, holding his arm out for mine. He is still grinning. I am not sure that his smile will fade anytime soon. I link my arm with his and he leads me down the aisle to my spot, softly kissing my cheek before he lets me go. I am sure that wasn’t on the scheduled list of approved events. Everyone awe’s over his expression of love for me, as he takes his place next to Mark.

  Now, it is Rebecca’s turn. She steps to the end of the runner with her dad on her arm. He smiles down at her and they begin their descent down the aisle. The sweetheart cut of her white beaded gown fits her perfectly. Her red hair is twisted back out of her face with a few soft, red curls falling around her freckled shoulders. She is stunning. By the time Mark takes her hand, soft tears roll down her cheeks. I have never seen her so happy, so in love, so cherished. They take their spot in front of the minister. He begins the ceremony by reminding us of why we are gathered here today.

  He quotes verses from the bible, explaining the meaning of their love for each other. Each word is a soft pray
er, falling over them, as they wait for the moment to say their vows, promising to love each other to the end of their days. The minister announces, “You may kiss the bride.” The guests erupt with cheers and laughter, as Mark kisses Rebecca softly, dipping her with his hand splayed in the middle of her back.

  At this exact moment, I feel him. I know Holden’s somewhere nearby, watching one of his closest friends get married. A spiced citrus scent circles around me. I close my eyes, taking pleasure in the feeling of him being so close, before opening my eyes and looking into deep blue ones, watching me from across the gazebo.

  Owen loves me. Holden loved me, too. He loved me with everything in him and I miss him so much it hurts. I am sure that I always will. When he left, I thought my world ended and in a way, it did. I have found a new world with Owen. This new world is filled with laughter, understanding, and with enough love not only to fill my heart, but also to protect my scars. It guards them fiercely.

  The minister announces the new couple and we fall into line behind them, as they walk down the aisle to start their new lives. Owen leans over and whispers in my ear, as I link my arm with his. “The next time you talk to him, or maybe when you know he’s there, tell him I said thank you. You are the greatest gift I have ever received. There’s no doubt in my mind…I know he brought you to me. Tell him I owe him one.” He kisses my forehead, before taking his place beside me in the receiving line.

  I am at a loss for words. My heart fills, bursting with love for this man beside me. Not only does he love me, but he loves me knowing that a piece of me will always belong to Holden. I am not sure what I did to deserve a love like this, but I am going to treasure every single moment of it.

  Chapter 29

  The End

  A few tears fall from my eyes, as I read over the last few lines. The cursor flashes on the screen in front of me. I save it twice, just to be sure, before typing ‘The End’ in big bold letters. The relief I experience from typing those two words is astounding. The weight I have been carrying around from the guilt of selfishly loving one man, while falling in love with another, finally lifts from my shoulders. I save it one last time, before attaching the document in an email addressed to my editor. The cursor clicks on ‘send’, and just like that, it is done. Every feeling, every shadow of doubt has been captured and imprinted into a story that will last forever. It will live on in black letters scored onto pages. Every time someone picks it up and turns the pages, our love will begin all over again.