The Best Deception (New Edition)

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The Best Deception (New Edition) Page 24

by Ashley Jade


  “Wait…”

  I turn back around.

  “It's not stupid, Leah. You're incredible,” he says before looking at his computer again.

  “So are you, Jacob,” I say, before turning and walking back downstairs.

  ****

  “Here's to Leah, continuing to kick some ass,” Danny says, holding his ice cream cone in the air.

  I laugh and Lillian and I follow suit.

  “I'm proud of you, sis. Keep up the good work,” he finishes, before taking a huge bite of his ice cream, causing me to wince.

  The poor kid is definitely going to have brain freeze. As if on cue, he wrinkles his nose and his face strains.

  I can’t help but laugh. “Put your thumb on the roof of your mouth. It helps.”

  He makes a face. “Are you sure?”

  “I was a doctor, you know.”

  I force myself to take a deep breath because that thought kills me every day.

  Figures, just when I’m finally beginning to feel qualified to actually help others...I’m not able to.

  At least, I enjoy my job working at Jamie's Spot. I love helping people, even if it’s only via a telephone. I love being able to provide advice and resources for the families, and I really love helping to put disgusting pedophiles away.

  It gives me a sense of pride and a sense of purpose, it makes me feel good about myself.

  I know why Jacob’s so passionate about it because I’m passionate about it too. I have so many ideas that I want to explore with him about Jamie’s Spot, but it’s hard when he won’t even be in the same room with me for more than a minute at a time before running away.

  “Leah?” a voice calls out, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I look up to find Alan standing right before me.

  “Hey, Alan. How are you?”

  I’m not so much shocked as I am embarrassed to see him. God, if he even knew half of what happened with me in the past year.

  Danny sits up straight and gives him a look of pure annoyance. He’s obviously less than thrilled with his presence right now.

  The more I watch him, the more I find that he’s starting to take after Jacob...not that it’s a bad thing. Lord knows, Danny needs some kind of decent male role model in his life.

  Lillian appears confused and I quickly make the introductions.

  Alan shifts his feet and clears his throat. “Sorry I didn't mean to intrude, but do you have a second? I've been trying to contact you, but your old number isn't in service anymore."

  Danny snorts and I shift my gaze to him, but he’s too busy giving Alan the stink eye to notice.

  I look over at Lillian and she doesn’t seem too happy about Alan’s presence either.

  Oh, boy.

  “Guys just give me a second,” I say. “ This won't take long.”

  Danny’s eyes narrow at Alan as he and Lillian get up from the table. “Alright, but I'm watching you,” he says, before giving Alan a look that cuts him down to size.

  Yeah...he’s definitely taking after Jacob, alright.

  “So, what's up, Alan?” I ask, feeling uncomfortable now.

  “Can you meet me for a cup of coffee or something tomorrow?” He grins from ear to ear. “I have some exciting news that I really want to tell you about but I’m running late for a meeting at the moment."

  It's clear that whatever he wants to tell me, he seems to be super enthusiastic about. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I’d be lying if I said it didn't make me curious.

  “Sure. I'll meet you at 11:00am at the coffee shop we used to go to.”

  “Great. I can't wait. Have a good night, Leah.” he says, before walking away.

  I shake my head at how strange it all is.

  “What was that about?” Danny asks, giving me a weird look.

  “He wants to meet for coffee tomorrow. Apparently he has some exciting news to tell me.”

  Danny rolls his eyes and Lillian laughs. “Yeah...sure he does.”

  ****

  I give a small knock on Jacob's office door, trying my best to hide my anxiety. I spent all night debating whether or not to tell him about meeting Alan.

  I decide it'll be best to avoid telling him about it...for now anyway.

  He’s already mad enough at me and I don't want to hurt him any more than I have, besides it’s not like I’m interested in Alan.

  That ship has long sailed and I’m certainly not looking for another go around. I’m just curious about what he’s so excited about. There’s no point in riling Jacob up and making him mad over nothing.

  “Hey, Jacob. I know I'm supposed to be working right now, but do you mind if I take a break? I'm supposed to meet someone for a cup of coffee.” I fidget nervously. “I know I should have told you earlier, but it was last minute."

  He lifts his head from his computer and gives me an odd look. I can’t tell if it’s jealousy or annoyance.

  All he has to do is ask and I’ll tell him the truth. All he has to do is open up to me. I’m growing tired of him shutting me out all the time and avoiding me.

  In the back of my mind, I’m starting to think that I may, in fact, deserve better than this now.

  He narrows his eyes. “Yeah, no problem.”

  “Thanks,” I say, turning on my heels.

  “Leah, wait,” he whispers.

  “Yeah?”

  “Never mind...” he mumbles.

  I raise my eyebrow. “Are you sure? You can ask me and talk to me about anything.”

  His jaw works and he closes his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. Enjoy your coffee,” he says bitterly.

  I sigh in frustration and head out to meet Alan.

  ****

  “So, what's going on, Alan?” I ask as I blow on my cup of coffee.

  I could never have prepared myself for the next statement out of his mouth.

  “I'm opening up a rehab for addicts. Well, people who want to recover from alcohol and drug addiction. I figured you’d be the perfect person to tell.”

  I almost spit out my coffee and my stomach immediately knots up.

  How does he know? Did he hear it from someone?

  Oh hell, maybe he went to the strip club and figured it out on his own.

  This is so embarrassing, I briefly contemplate spilling my piping hot coffee all over myself just so I have an excuse to run right out the door.

  I feel myself get dizzy, and I have to hold onto the table for support.

  “Leah, are you okay? I thought you'd be excited,” he says, looking confused now.

  Excited? About him finding out that his ex-girlfriend whom he attended medical school with is now a former doctor as well as former heroin stripper junkie?

  Then it occurs to me, I’m freaking out for no reason because he probably has no idea.

  And if that’s the case...that means I’m going to have to tell him.

  Well, fuck.

  Before I can say anything, though, he continues, “Remember back in medical school how we used to talk about opening up a facility together for addicts? I know how important it was to you because of your mom.”

  He bangs his hand on the table, startling me. “Well, I want you to come on to the practice. We need another psychiatrist, Leah. Especially one who has so much knowledge about addiction.”

  He pauses. “But, the facility is two hours away from here. However, the apartments near the facility are beautiful, and the pay is great as well. I tried to get ahold of you to tell you sooner, but like I said, your number was out of service. It was fate that I ran into you last night. I know you’re just the person I need. I’ve already talked to my business partner about it and he’s really excited about having you come on board.”

  Fuck. My. Life.

  I rub my temples and let out a deep sigh. Part of taking responsibility for my past actions and choices is this, no matter how hard it may be.

  I’m an addict and I have to acknowledge that. I have to accept it, no matter what may have pushed me over to t
he dark side, I still chose drugs over anything else for an entire year of my life.

  And it would have been a lot longer had I not overdosed and almost died.

  Man, this is going to suck.

  Especially because he’s absolutely right, the old Leah I would have loved something like this, I’ve always wanted to open my own practice focusing on addictions.

  Oddly enough, I love the idea of that even more now. I feel like going through it myself, makes me want to help other recovering addicts because I understand the struggle.

  Even though I’m only three months clean…I plan to remain clean for the rest of my life, come hell or high water.

  And trust me, there’s no hell that can ever compare to being an addict.

  Or loving one.

  He sits up in his seat. “You don't seem excited. I thought you would be thrilled, so I'm a bit confused. I mean, if it's about the school district for Danny. The area has one of the top districts in the United States," he continues to ramble as I shrink down in my seat.

  “It's not that, Alan. It's just—” I stall.

  “What, Leah? What is it?

  “I'm a recovering heroin addict. And I lost my license to practice medicine,” I whisper, wishing I could run right out of there.

  Alan starts laughing, and for a moment, I seriously contemplate punching him. Surely Jacob will have no problem bailing me out of jail for that.

  “Man, Leah,” he says slapping the table. “You always did have some weird, dark sense of humor.”

  I swallow hard and shift in my seat. He finally notices and stops laughing. “Shit. You're not joking, are you? Christ, I'm so sorry.“

  And that begins our hour long conversation where I fill him in on the last year and a half of my life.

  I leave out the part about stripping. Mr. prim and proper would most likely have a coronary if I ever mentioned that.

  He stares at me in shock. “Wow. I would never have imagined you of all people…” his voice trails off. “Anyway, if you need any help or support, I'm here for you.”

  I nod my head and give him a small smile. I’ll never take him up on it due to our history, but it’s still nice to know he cares.

  Just when I’m getting ready to leave, he stops me.

  “You know, this may sound strange...but, I still think you should be part of this. More than ever now. I know you can't practice medicine. But, you can be a drug and alcohol addiction counselor.”

  He leans back in his chair and looks at me intently. “You have more than enough credits for it from college. Plus, I can pull some strings and get it done and taken care of for you. You’ll be certified in no time. You can still help people, Leah. You can still do what you set out to do, I know you can. I mean, it won't be easy at first. Especially with the move, but I'll support you every step of the way,” he says, reaching for my hand.

  That really does sound like a good offer, actually. Well, with the exception of his hand on mine.

  The only man's touch I want is Jacob's. I promptly remove my hand from his.

  I have a big decision to make, and I really need to talk to Danny and Lillian about it.

  Shit, I need to talk to Jacob about it.

  “Can I think it over and get back to you, Alan? It sounds exciting, but I have to talk to my brother about it. I can't do something like this without seeing how he feels about it all."

  “Absolutely. I'll be leaving for good in about a week, though. If you could let me know in a few days, that would be great. I know, it's short notice and I apologize. Like I said, it was fate that I happened to run into you. I think this is meant to be."

  ****

  I went for a late afternoon run in the woods. I needed it more than ever today.

  Alan may have a point. Maybe, it was meant to be. The part about working for him—not anything more, that's for sure.

  I can still live my dream. I just need Danny's support—as well as Jacob's.

  I’m just not sure how I’m going to tell them. Will they be supportive? Or will I be stirring up old feelings and they’ll be angry?

  I soon find out over dinner that night.

  Well, I find out how Lillian and Danny feel about it. Jacob of course, never bothered to show up to dinner...as usual.

  “I think it's a good idea, dear. If it's what you really want, of course,” Lillian says, her tone bittersweet.

  I knew why, too. She’s still secretly pulling for Jacob and me to get back together. Even though, he made it clear that it would never happen again.

  I found myself believing that to be true, now. Because no matter which road I went down with him, he only pushed me away.

  I love him, but it might be time to go on with my life. Jacob still wasn’t willing to forgive me for the past, therefore, he’s right.

  We can never be together again.

  The reality is like a bomb going off inside my heart. Turns out love isn’t enough to fix everything after all.

  Danny looks up from his plate, sulking. “I don't know. I don't want to leave. I have baseball and school, and Lillian and Jacob. Besides, you know I hate Alan. I really like it here, Leah. And you said you would always be here for me.”

  I take a deep breath. I’d already thought this part through on my run.

  I'd already come to the conclusion that I'm not taking Danny away from Lillian and Jacob if he didn’t want to go. I'm not going to uproot him from his life. He’s already been through enough.

  “You don't have to leave if you don't want to. But if I choose to do this—I'll have to move since it's so far away.”

  I look him in the eyes. “But I promise, I’ll be here every single weekend, Danny. I’ll still attend each and every baseball game of yours. And you can come visit me whenever you want.”

  I look down and blink back tears. “I would love it if you came with me, but I know it's not what you want. You can still live here with Jacob and Lillian during the week, I'm sure they won't have a problem with it."

  Lillian nods and looks at him. “Of course, you can stay here with us, Danny. This is your home.”

  She glances at me out of the corner of her eye. “That goes for the both of you.”

  Danny beams at her and smiles. All thoughts of him ever changing his mind about coming with me if I did decide to go...are long gone now. And that’s okay. I’m glad Danny’s happy here, that’s all I want for him. In all honestly, I’m happy here myself...with the exception of Jacob’s damn stubbornness.

  Danny folds his hands in front of him and looks at me. “Is this what you really want?”

  “I'm not sure. I still haven't made my decision yet. I wanted to see how you would feel first...that's what matters most to me. Other than that—I really haven't thought about it all that much."

  “I think you should go for it—If it's what you really want. I'll miss you. But, if you promise to be here every weekend, then I'll support you."

  “I promise. I know, the thought of me moving over two hours away is a lot to get used to—” I start to say before being cut off.

  “What? You're moving...you're leaving?” Jacob's deep voice interjects.

  Lillian and Danny scramble from the table and head upstairs. They both look nervous for me.

  Hell, I was nervous for me.

  I stand up. “Um, maybe we should go outside and talk?”

  “No, tell me what the fuck is going on, Leah...right now.”

  “I've been offered an opportunity to work as a counselor for a drug and alcohol facility. It's over two hours away, so I would have to move—" I begin.

  Hurt crosses over his features. “I thought you liked working for Jamie's Spot? I thought you liked helping people?”

  He’s right, I do like working for Jamie's Spot. I love it actually. Which is exactly why I still haven’t made a decision yet.

  Christ, all these mixed signals he keeps giving me are confusing. Not to mention, downright hurtful lately.

  I open my mouth to tell him this but then
he says, “So you're running away...again! I fucking knew it was only a matter of time.”

  Figures, he'd see it that way.

  What does it matter to him anyway? He’s made it crystal clear we're never going to be together in that way again.

  Does he really expect me to stay in his guest house so he can keep me on a short leash and use me whenever it suits him?

  I take a step closer to him. “I can't live in your guest house forever, Jacob. Besides, why do you even care? It's not like you've even bothered to talk to me in the last month. Hell, you've barely even looked at me. The last time you looked me in the eyes, you were telling me that I couldn't have you, remember?"

  He throws his hands up in frustration. “You don't understand. It's fucking complicated. But what the fuck does it matter, anyway? You're leaving.”

  “Make me understand, Jacob. Talk to me. Tell me how you're feeling, let's figure this out. Let me in again,” I plead, meeting his eyes.

  He pounds his fist on the counter. “I can't, Leah!”

  We stay silent for a few moments, both of us glaring at one another.

  He runs a hand through his hair. “Who would you be working for anyway? How did this all come about in the first place?”

  Shit, this isn’t going to sound good...at all.

  I don't want to lie to him, though. Hopefully, he'll actually give me a chance to explain that it's not like that between Alan and I.

  I bite my thumbnail nervously. “Alan. I met him for coffee today—”

  I never get a chance to finish my sentence.

  Jacob marches up the stairs and slams his office door so hard the entire house shakes.

  I close my eyes and curl my arms around myself.

  I know I need to give him some space, right now. He’s not going to be able to hear me out when he’s this angry.

  After he calms down, I can inform him that I have no feelings for Alan and that I haven't even made my decision yet.

  I can also tell him that I was waiting to know how he felt about it and factor that into my final decision.

  I mean, clearly now I know he doesn't like the idea one bit.

 

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