Shameless

by Rosanne Bittner

  Clay frowned, moving back to meet her eyes, seeing the flush to her cheeks. “Nina, are you sure?”

  “Sí. Take away the hurt, my husband.”

  She boldly let him drink in her nakedness while he removed his long johns. With a great deal of courage she let her eyes move to that part of man that had haunted her for so many years. For the first time she saw it as beautiful, because it belonged to her beloved Clay, and Clay Youngblood was a beautiful man, inside and out. She leaned up to him, meeting his mouth and drawing him back down.

  At last Clay was discovering the passion he had always known lay just beneath Nina’s skin. There would be little rest for either of them this night.

  Nina stirred awake, stretching, then snuggling back down into the bed. She did not want to think about leaving today. This was their third day at the mission, and the last two days and nights had been the most beautiful time of her life. She moved closer to Clay, and he sleepily moved his arms around her, nestling his face against her bare breasts. She kissed his hair, still amazed at how brazen and passionate she had become in his bed.

  It was all so easy now, so right, so fulfilling. He had done things to her she never imagined she could allow any man to do. They knew each other so well now, not just their dreams and plans, but the intimate parts of their bodies. Clay had been a long time without a woman. It was almost as much an awakening for him as it was for her, for he had not loved this way in years. He was hungry, a magnificent lover, and he had created a new and wonderful hunger in her own being.

  Life was good. The important thing now was to get to Texas. Sometimes she thought of staying right here at the beautiful mission, but Clay did not belong in a place like this. He wanted something of his own. Besides, they were still too close to Santa Fe. Nina hated the thought of leaving their comfortable bed, but they would surely find a way to make love on the trail, and soon they would be safe in Mexico and have a place of their own. Her parents would have been so happy to know that Clay intended to revive the little farm and buy up some of the land around it to build a ranch. They would have loved knowing that their grandchildren would play and grow up on their land.

  Clay began kissing at her breasts and she smiled, tousling his hair. “We must leave today, mi vida.”

  “Not this minute,” he answered. He tried to remember how many times he had entered her, how many times he had enjoyed the feeling of being one with this woman. Each time had seemed more wonderful than the last, for each time she learned more, and each time the pain was less. Now sometimes she was the aggressor. Her passion was quick and sweet and delightful. He had explored every curve and hidden part of her, and she had awakened to womanhood even more willingly than he had anticipated.

  He met her mouth, rolling her over and kissing her hungrily. There was no need for more talk. Both knew that this was the last time they would share a comfortable bed for a while, and both knew that they were still not out of danger. They must take advantage of this moment.

  She opened slender legs invitingly, and he moved inside her with a groan, burying himself deep in her body. It was sweet and wonderful, quiet and deliberate. He moved with a sensuous rhythm that made her own desire build to the beautiful climax she had learned to relax and enjoy. He felt her insides pulling at him, knew by her whimpers that he had brought her a special pleasure again. She panted his name with each thrust, and he moved his hands under her bottom to push even deeper.

  Again the life spilled out of him in aching spasms, and he wondered how a man could do this so many times in such succession, yet take even more pleasure in it each time. He settled against her, then kissed her lightly and rolled to his side. “I’m afraid you’re right,” he said softly. “We do have to leave today. I’m sorry.”

  “Do not be sorry. We cannot stay here forever. I want to get to Mexico so we can have a home of our own and we never again have to worry about anyone coming after us. You have made me the happiest woman in the world.”

  He took her hand and kissed it. “I still have to find you a wedding ring.”

  “A plain gold band will do fine. The important thing is that we truly are married. You are my esposo. Oh, how I wish my parents could have known you.”

  “And I wish I could have known them.” He sighed deeply, sitting up. “I guess there is only one way to do this, and that is to get up and go.” He got out of bed, and Nina studied his nakedness while he washed, still amazed she could look at a man this way with none of the horror such a sight would once have brought her.

  Clay dressed and went out to ready the horses, and Nina got up. As she dressed, she looked toward the bed, the place where she had become a different person. This room, this mission, would always be special in her memory. How she hated leaving it. With tears in her eyes she rolled up the blankets into a ball, then left them at the edge of the bed. Her heart felt heavy as she turned to pack her and Clay’s things into saddlebags and canvas sacks. How she prayed they would reach Mexico safely! Clay returned, catching the trace of tears in her eyes.

  “I know,” he told her softly.

  “It’s like this place belongs only to us.” She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “I keep thinking…once we leave it will just disappear…as though it was here only to protect us and bring us together.”

  He came closer, drawing her into his arms. “Maybe someday we can come back to it.”

  She moved her arms around his waist. “Just hold me for a little while. I am afraid to go back out into that other world.”

  He embraced her. “Don’t be afraid. God means for us to be together or none of this would have happened. Trust in God, Nina.” He gave her a squeeze. “Let’s pick up our things and pack them onto the horses. Sister Sharon has prepared a nice breakfast for us.”

  Nina drew away, picking up her belongings, glancing once more at the bed. She looked at Clay, who smiled for her. “We aren’t leaving anything behind, Nina. We’re leaving together, as husband and wife, and we’re taking nothing but good memories with us. We’re going home, Nina. This is just a new beginning.”

  She nodded, hurrying out then. Clay glanced back at the bed himself, hating to leave as much as she did. He forced himself to walk out then. The honeymoon, or as Nina called it, the luna de miel, was over. He tore his eyes away and left. It was time to head for Mexico.

  Chapter Twenty

  “Nina!” Carmell opened her arms and Nina ran to her. The two women embraced while Clay watched with a note of humor, considering Carmell’s occupation. She was rather hefty, with the remnants of a once-beautiful woman still showing behind dyed hair and aging skin, probably from too much smoke and stale air more than from sun, of which Clay suspected she saw little. He glanced around the room, thinking Emilio might be nearby, but he did not see him.

  It was noon, and the Pecos Tavern had only three or four customers, who glanced at Nina and Carmell. Clay could see what they were both thinking, that a new and much younger and more beautiful whore had come to the Pecos. Immediately Clay felt an intense defensiveness, as well as a pride to know they would soon learn that the younger woman was his wife.

  He loved his new wife more with every passing day, and he thanked God they had arrived in El Paso with no more troubles. They had spent many passionate nights on the trail, and Nina was blossoming into a ravishing woman, who was becoming more daring in their sexual exploits, having no qualms now about letting him see her naked in full daylight. They had bathed together, made love on riverbanks, in caves, on the desert. She had become willing to try anything he suggested. He was anxious now to get a room for the night where they could again sleep in a comfortable bed.

  Carmell was crying. “We thought you might be dead,” she moaned, squeezing Nina tightly. “Emilio came back without you, and he was beside himself. He did not know what to do, how to find you, where you had been taken.”

  “I am all right.” Nina pulled away, also in tears. “Emilio came back here then? We have come to look for him.”

  “We?” It
was then that Carmell noticed Clay standing nearby, realizing he had come in with Nina. Her eyes widened at the sight of his handsome face and fine build. She pulled away from Nina, taking a handkerchief from a pocket on her dress and dabbing at her eyes. “Well, little one, who is this?”

  Nina beamed with pride. “Carmell, this is the man I told you about that day we talked a few months ago. Clay Youngblood. We are married!”

  Carmell’s mouth dropped open. She looked at Nina, then burst into another smile, letting out a little scream and embracing Nina again. “Now I understand why you look so different, mi querida! You have come back a woman!” She pulled away again. “You are so radiant, so beautiful!”

  The two men at the bar who had been studying Nina glanced at Clay, taking note of his size. When Clay cast them a warning look, they turned away immediately. Clay grinned inwardly at the disappointment in their eyes.

  “But how? I do not understand,” Carmell was saying. “Emilio said it was soldiers who attacked you. Is your husband not a soldier?” She looked at Clay again, noticing he wore no uniform but was dressed instead in cotton pants and a blue shirt that enhanced his kind blue eyes. Her own dark eyes ran over him with the appreciation of a woman who knew her men well, and Clay smiled, feeling suddenly undressed.

  Nina could not help a pang of jealousy, combined with her own pride at her handsome man. “He is no longer a soldier,” she told Carmell. “Come into the back room. We will talk there. Is Emilio here?”

  “Ah, he is off hunting with a bad bunch he has taken up with. They will be back later today.” The woman sauntered up to Clay, her eyes moving over him again. “Well, well, Nina, you got yourself some man.” She put out her hand and Clay took it, squeezing lightly.

  “I’m glad to meet you, Carmell. Nina has talked about you several times.”

  She rubbed a thumb over the back of his hand, taking note of its size. “Well, I have to say I would rather meet you as a customer, but I am happy Nina has finally discovered men and love and happiness.” She glanced at Nina, still holding his hand. “You were right, Nina. He is a most handsome gringo. You did well. What beautiful children you will have, no?”

  Nina reddened slightly, the excitement and passion at being Clay’s wife still as fresh and intense as a month ago when they were married. It hurt now to even think about Clay visiting women like Carmell, as he must have done before he married her. She vowed to continue to please him in every way possible so that he would never think about going to the prostitutes again.

  Carmell pulled at Clay’s hand. “Come. We will go into the storeroom and talk.” She realized they might have something to tell her that they didn’t want the other men in the room to hear. This was all very strange. Had this Clay Youngblood broken the law to help Nina? The love in his eyes was more than evident, and what man wouldn’t risk everything to claim such a beautiful young woman as Nina? She put her arm around Nina and led her and Clay into the storeroom, where she listened to their story, realizing just how much they loved each other.

  “I am so happy for you,” she told Nina, her eyes tearing again. “It is like a fairy tale. The mission sounds so beautiful.” She sighed deeply, looking at Clay. “You are a good man. Nina is the luckiest woman alive.” She dabbed at her eyes again. “So, you are here to find Emilio and take him with you to Mexico?” She looked back at Nina.

  “Sí,” Nina answered. “There will be no more running with horse thieves for me, Carmell. Clay and I are going to the land my parents owned in Mexico and see if we can rebuild the farm. For now we must stay in Mexico, in case it is discovered I was taken away illegally.”

  Carmell frowned, glancing at Clay again. “I do not think Emilio will go with you.” She looked back at Nina. “That one has no desire to settle down, Nina. He grows wilder all the time. Nearly every night he drinks too much now. Sometimes he comes to me so drunk that he cannot even—” She grinned a little, and Nina felt her cheeks going hot. She was glad Clay never drank a lot of whiskey. She was afraid of men who drank too much.

  Carmell folded her arms. “He is just getting worse,” she continued. “I think it is partly because he feels guilty about what happened to you. Perhaps when he discovers you are all right, he will settle down more and stay away from the whiskey.” She looked back at Clay. “I am not so sure what he will think of his sister being married to a gringo, and a man of the law at that.”

  “Not anymore. I’m a man who has broken the law.” He grinned. “I risked my neck to keep Nina from the outlaw life, and now I’m an outlaw of sorts.”

  Carmell laughed lightly. “You did the right thing, amigo.” She sobered again, looking at Nina. “Do not let anything Emilio does or says keep you from settling in Mexico with this man, Nina. I know you are close to your brother, but you have taken a husband now, and your first loyalty lies with him. Do not forget that it is your feelings of allegiance to Emilio that got you into so much trouble in the first place. If he tries to make you choose between him and your husband, you must choose Clay.”

  Nina met Clay’s eyes. “I would never choose anything or anyone over my husband,” she said softly. “I would die first. He is my life.” Their eyes held, unquenchable desires again building.

  Carmell smiled at the passion in their eyes. “The two of you should get yourselves a room now. And you…” She touched Clay’s arm. “Such a big man, you must be hungry. I will change and we will meet at Annie’s Cafe for some lunch.” She put an arm around Nina again. “John will be so glad to know you are all right. He is buying supplies right now. He will be back soon.” She looked at Clay. “John Owen owns this place. You can trust him. Many men who come here are running from the law. John lets them stay here and says nothing. You go now, both of you. Get a room. Emilio will be here before dark.”

  Nina looked at Clay. “I hope he does not make trouble. I want so much for him to leave this place and come with us to Mexico.”

  Clay sighed, doubt evident in his eyes. “Don’t get your hopes up, Nina. He’s been used to being the boss, the one you looked to for protection and survival. He might not like the idea of handing over that role to someone else. He has the same fiery pride you have, but right now he’s using it in the wrong way, still out there breaking the law, I suspect.”

  He saw a sadness in her eyes. How he hated for her to be unhappy in any way, hated Emilio for breaking her heart.

  “I will talk to Emilio this evening when he returns,” Carmell told them. “By then I will know where the two of you are staying. It is best he comes to your room and that you do not talk here. Here he would be with his wild friends. He might do something foolish just to show off in front of them, especially if he has been drinking. I can explain all of this to him first, so it will not be such a surprise for him when he sees you together. He will have a little time to think.”

  “Thanks, Carmell. You’re probably right,” Clay told her. He looked at Nina, hoping beyond hope that Emilio would give them no problems, but he feared Nina would have to learn to put her brother out of her life.

  Clay lit a thin cigar, drawing on the smoke as someone knocked on the door of the hotel room he had rented for the night. He glanced at Nina, who looked back at him in the mirror of the dressing table where she sat brushing her hair.

  “It’s probably Emilio,” Clay said quietly, keeping the cigar between his teeth.

  Nina slowly laid down the brush and turned as Clay went to the door, opening it to meet Emilio’s dark eyes challengingly. “Hello, Emilio.”

  The young man stiffened, and Clay could smell the whiskey on him. “So, gringo, we meet again.” His eyes moved over Clay almost jealously. “This time you steal my sister away from me.”

  “Steal?” Clay wanted very much to hit him. He restrained himself only for Nina’s sake. “You abandoned her when you knew she was in the worst trouble of her life. You’d better be damn glad I was able to help her!”

  Nina rose, her eyes tearing. Already the animosity was there between her brother
and her beloved. She had hoped so much this would not happen. “Emilio…” she said softly.

  He looked at her, a mixture of guilt and joy in his eyes. “Nina!” He pushed his way inside and walked up to embrace her. “Mi hermana! So many times I prayed for you, wept for you. I cannot believe you are here!” He pulled back, looking her over, noticing she looked radiant and healthy. “Is it true? You have married the gringo?”

  “Sí, Emilio. I love him very much.” She grasped his arms. “Please, come with us to Mexico. We are going to rebuild Mama and Papa’s farm. It will be like it used to be when we were young. We will—”

  He shook his head. Nina smelled the whiskey on him, too, and noticed that his eyes were bloodshot. He did not look like the handsome, robust brother she once rode with. Something about him was changed. “I am sorry, Nina.” He turned to look at Clay. “I cannot share that place with a gringo.” His eyes sparked. “And you…” he said to Clay. “It is your fault she was caught in the first place. You say you love her, yet you almost got her hanged!”

  “It was not like that,” Nina said before Clay could answer. She went to Clay’s side. “He only came after us because that man we stole the horses from was on our trail. He was a cruel man, and Clay knew it would be much worse for us if he caught us. Afterward Clay was going to help me escape, but Al shot him, Emilio. He nearly died! There was nothing he could do to help me then. They sent me away while he lay in bed wounded. But he came for me, Emilio. He went against the law by getting me out of jail with illegal papers. He loves me, Emilio, and I love him. Didn’t you listen to anything Carmell told you?”

  “I heard,” he seethed. “But you belong with me, Nina! It has always been you and me.”

  “And it was you who nearly got her hanged, not me,” Clay put in. “Is that what you call brotherly love and responsibility—taking your sister along on horse raids, risking her life for the sake of adventure and revenge? I’ll tell you the same thing I told her, Emilio. The war is over, and it’s time to live our lives!”