A Dollar and A Dream

by Carl Weber, La Jill Hunt, Angel Hunter; Dwayne S. Joseph

She hung up on me. We didn’t speak for at least two weeks, and one day I came home from picking the kids up and there was this card taped to my door. It was from Dana, saying how sorry she was, that she loved me, respected my decision, supported my choices, and that she had my back.

  Now when we go out, she respects my wishes.

  Lisa, on the other hand, I had to cut off. She didn’t give a freak about anyone other than herself. Now, she knew where I stood as far as drugs and shit go, and that wench had the audacity to bring the shit up in my house.

  I had a birthday party for Malik and invited Dana, her daughter Danielle, Lisa and her kids, along with a few kids from day care. I noticed that Lisa had slipped off somewhere and had been gone for a while. Her children were acting out, and not one to discipline someone else’s kids, I went to look for her.

  Lo and behold, she was in my bedroom with the door locked. I’m not stupid; there weren’t any men at the party, so I knew she wasn’t in there getting her freak on.

  “Open the door,” I told her.

  It took her a good minute or two to open the door. When she did, I glanced around the room and didn’t see any evidence of what I suspected, but when I looked at her face, it was all on her nose. I almost went upside her head. I didn’t need to see that shit, it was already bad enough I was taking this sobriety thing one day at a time, and this day was one in which I was struggling through.

  “I know you’re not disrespecting my house like this.”

  Of course she tried to play it off. “What are you talking about?”

  “Go look in the mirror and you’ll see what I’m talking about.”

  She did and just smirked, wiped her nose, and said, “Oops, my bad.”

  “I think you need to leave.”

  She started laughing.

  “I’m not laughing, Lisa, I think you need to leave. I’m not having this up in here. Get your kids and get out.”

  “Oh, so it’s like that.”

  “It’s exactly like that.”

  Well, she got her kids and left.

  You might think I was a little harsh with her but a sister has to do what she has to do. I was trying to change my life and I couldn’t have people in it that didn’t respect what I hoped to accomplish. After Lisa left the party, Dana asked me what happened and I told her, so she knew I wasn’t playing. She never got high or talked about getting high in front of me or with me again, although she did get her drink on. That didn’t bother me.

  We were sitting at a table in the back of the club, me drinking a ginger ale and Dana, a Cosmopolitan. The music was banging, so I found myself dancing in my seat.

  “Ohhh, look, girl. That fine brother over there is checking you out.”

  I looked in the direction she’d nodded her head, and fine he was. Tall, over six feet, chocolate complexion, wide shoulders, hair cut close, and dimples. I noticed those because he smiled at me. Of course I smiled back.

  “He’s coming this way, girl. He’s coming this way,” Dana teased.

  I just started laughing because she is so silly sometimes.

  “Get him, girl,” she said and stood up.

  “Where are you going?” I asked.

  “I’m going to let you and Mr. Man get to know one another.”

  Before she could walk away, he was upon us.

  “Hello, ladies, can I get you a drink?”

  Dana sat down real quick and said, “I’ll have a Cosmopolitan.”

  “I’ll have a ginger ale,” I told him.

  He looked at me with surprise.

  “I don’t drink.”

  “I don’t, either, so I’ll have a ginger ale with you.”

  He waved one of the waiters over, ordered our drinks, and sat down.

  Looking at me, he asked me my name.

  “Isis, and this is Dana.”

  “I’m Lavert.”

  “Is that your first name?”

  “Yes, people always ask me that.”

  “I’ve never seen you here before,” Dana told him.

  “This is my first time, I’m here for a game.”

  “A game?” Dana asked.

  “Yes, I play for the Nets.”

  Dana started kicking me under the table. I know that was her way of saying, Snatch him up with the quickness.

  “Oh,” I said, unimpressed because I don’t watch sports and it wasn’t a big deal.

  “You like basketball?” he asked, all his attention on me.

  “No, not really, I’m too busy working and taking care of my kids.”

  Dana kicked me again. She hated when I did that, mention my kids so soon. She said it scared men off. I didn’t care because I felt a person needed to know from the door what was up. I don’t want to waste anybody’s time or have mine wasted, either.

  “How many kids do you have?”

  Before I could answer him, I heard Dana say, “Oh shit.” She wasn’t paying us any attention; her eyes were glued to the door. I looked to see what made her say that, and to my surprise, or should I say to my horror, Understanding was walking in the door with Ricky.

  My heart started racing. I was scared, nervous, and ready to get up out of there before they spotted us.

  “Excuse me, I have to go to the ladies’ room.” I stood up.

  “I’m coming with you,” Dana said.

  We scurried away. We couldn’t leave the table fast enough.

  Inside the ladies’ room, I kept repeating over and over, “Oh my God, oh my God.”

  “When did he get out?” Dana asked.

  “I don’t know. I want to leave, I’m not ready to see him yet.”

  “And what is he doing here with Ricky?”

  “Come on, we have to leave.” I don’t know why, but I was panicking. Understanding had been calling me collect for the last two months, and I hadn’t accepted any of his calls. This must have been why, to let me know he was coming home. I hadn’t taken Queen to see him in three years. I just gave up on the whole thing. It was tiring, and I kept getting into confrontations with his other child’s mother. I knew he was scheduled to be released soon but I had no idea it would be this soon.

  Sensing my stress, Dana took my hands and said, “Listen, Isis, there is no way we’re going to get out of here without his seeing us, and I’m sure Ricky saw the Navigator in the parking lot. So you have to get it together and handle this. Plus, you’ve got that fine-ass basketball player waiting for you at the table; the least you can do is go tell him ’bye and give him your number.”

  I knew she was right; I couldn’t hide from Understanding. Now that he was home, we were bound to run into one another. Taking a deep breath, I said, “Okay. Let’s go.”

  We walked out of the bathroom and headed toward the table where Lavert was waiting. I sat down and Dana didn’t. “I’ll be right back,” she said.

  I knew she was going to try and distract Ricky and Understanding while I handled my business.

  “Lavert, I have to leave. Thanks for the drink.”

  “You have to leave so soon? You just got here.”

  “I know, but I called home and the baby-sitter had an emergency.”

  “Well, can I see you again?”

  “Ummm…”

  Reaching inside his pocket, he pulled out a card. “Call me.”

  Before I could respond, I heard the voice from hell. “Isis baby, how you doing?”

  I looked up to find Understanding. Dana was behind him mouthing, I’m sorry.

  Lavert stood up and said once again, “Call me.”

  I didn’t say a word. I was scared to because Understanding was looking at Lavert like he wanted to kick his ass.

  “Excuse me,” I said, standing up, trying to brush past him. “Dana, are you ready to leave?”

  Dana looked at Ricky, who had an amused look on his face.

  “Yeah.”

  Understanding still didn’t move. “How’s my daughter?”

  “She’s fine.”

  “How’s my pussy?” />
  Ugh, I hated him. “I wouldn’t know; ask one of those ho’s that were visiting you in jail.”

  He laughed and said, “Still feisty, I see.”

  I tried to move past him again. “I have to get home.”

  “To call the basketball player?”

  “It’s none of your business.”

  “I can make it my business.”

  Dana, tired of the nonsense, said, “Damn, Understanding, let the girl go.”

  He looked at her and told her to mind her business.

  Dana looked at Ricky and said, “You’re going to let him talk to me like that.”

  Ricky told her she did need to mind her business, that this was between Understanding and me.

  “I’ll be by tomorrow to pick up my daughter,” Understanding informed me.

  “No, you won’t.”

  “You can’t stop me.”

  I wanted to smack him so bad my hand itched, but I knew that this was not the place to cause a scene. It was already bad enough people were looking our way.

  “Understanding, please don’t do this. You haven’t seen her or talked to her in over three years, and you expect to come home and act like nothing’s changed, like it’s all good. It’s not that easy.”

  He didn’t hear a word I said. “I’ll see you and my daughter tomorrow.” He bent over and kissed me on the cheek.

  I wiped it off and he laughed.

  “Come on, man,” he said to Ricky.

  “I’ll be over after the club,” Ricky told Dana, and we watched the two thugs walk away.

  “Come on, let’s go,” Dana said.

  I just followed her in silence.

  Once we were in the car, I went off. “Can you believe him? I can’t. He just thinks he’s supposed to come home and see Queen, just like that. That it’s supposed to be okay, and then he had the nerve to ask how’s his pussy, like I belong to him. He dogged me out, Dana, does he think I forgot that? His daughter is ten freaking years old and she barely knows him. She’s not some little girl who doesn’t understand stuff, she’s smart. I can’t believe this shit.”

  Dana just listened. There really wasn’t anything she could say, because this was my dilemna and we’ve both learned that when it comes to men, it’s best to keep our thoughts and our advice to ourselves. In the end we end up doing what we want to do, and sometimes what we choose is the worst thing for us.

  “You can’t keep him from his daughter, Isis.”

  “I know. I know, but this is something that I have to get used to. His being home and all. Damn, I’ve got two other kids to think about, as well.”

  “What you need to think about is what Tyrone’s going to say.”

  “Why?”

  “That man is in love with you, girl.”

  She was right. He was in love with me. I just tried to ignore it. I knew he wanted more than I was giving him. Now, don’t get me wrong, I care for him a lot, and like I said before, he’s an excellent father. It’s just that I’ve depended on men for so much for so long that it’s time to depend on me.

  “You can come get the kids when you wake up,” Dana told me.

  “Thanks.”

  When we pulled up to my house, my sister was sitting on my porch, or should I say nodding the drug on my porch.

  “Damn, this night is just going from bad to worse.”

  “You want me to come in?” Dana asked.

  “No, I got it.” I climbed out the car and headed toward my high-ass sister.

  “Hey, baby sis,” she said when she saw me.

  I ignored her and unlocked the door. She followed me in.

  “I said, hey, baby sis.”

  “I don’t have any money,” I told her. I knew that’s what she wanted.

  “Did I ask you for any money? No, I don’t think I did.” Glancing around, she asked, “Where’s my niece and nephew?”

  “Over Dana’s.”

  “Where you been?”

  “Minding my business and leaving yours alone.”

  Shantay walked in the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “What you got to eat?”

  “Listen, I’m going to lie down, you need to take a shower because you stink, and then you need to take a nap. I’m sure you’ve been up for days.”

  “I don’t have anything to sleep in.”

  “I’ll put something on the couch,” I told her and started to walk away.

  “Isis.”

  Stopping, I faced her.

  “Thanks for loving me.”

  “You’re my sister, I’m supposed to love you.” I hated when she pulled that sentimental shit on me. I went into my bedroom and closed the door behind me, threw myself over the bed, and cried myself to sleep.

  The next morning, I woke up and peeked in the living room to see if Shantay was still there. Usually she’d sleep for a couple of hours and leave in the middle of the night. No such luck. She was sitting at the kitchen table, pen in hand, writing something. Curiousity got the best of me and I went over to her and asked her, “What are you writing”

  “Girl, I dreamed some numbers last night and I wanted to write them down before I forgot them.”

  “Oh,” I said.

  “You should play them; I dreamed of three, you need to pick three more”

  “Girl, please, I’m not playing no lottery, you and I both know that only old white people win. We don’t stand a chance.”

  “Never say never, Isis.”

  “I think in this case it’s safe to say it.”

  “Think about it, we might win.”

  I decided to play along. I asked Shantay, “If we did, what would you do with your part of the money?”

  She got real quiet.

  “What would you do?” I pressed.

  “Get my kids back.”

  “Well, don’t you think you need to get clean first?” That slipped out. I didn’t mean to go there, it just sort of happened.

  “Why you got to go and say some shit like that?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, and in a way I was. Lately she’s been talking about her kids more and more, so I knew it was a sore spot. “Okay, what else would you do?”

  “I’d get the hell away from here, move someplace peaceful, go on a serious shopping spree. I’d buy up everything I’ve ever wanted and probably some things I don’t need. I’d go to a spa once a week and just get pampered. I’d put myself in one of those real expensive rehabs, get clean, then I’d buy a car and go pick up my kids. What would you do?”

  “First, I’d put some of the money away to invest, you know, do the responsible thing, because I have to think about the future. Money doesn’t last, I don’t care how much it is, after they take away taxes and stuff.”

  “Get to the good stuff, what would you spend the money on?”

  “The first thing I would purchase is some red leather pants—I’ve always wanted a pair. Then I’d shop for my kids, take them to the toy store and let them rack up, get them computers and games, whatever they want, then we’d all go clothes shopping. I’d buy boots galore and get them a couple of pair of expensive-ass sneakers just because I can. Then we’d go to Disney World for, like, two weeks. I’d get a new car.” I was just getting started and she cut me off.

  “See, you have thought about it.”

  “I haven’t thought about hitting the lottery, I’ve just thought about what I would do if I came into some money.”

  Shantay passed me the piece of paper with the numbers on it and said, “Come on, think of three more numbers and play them. Heck, it’s only a dollar. If we win, I don’t even want half, just a third.”

  I took the paper and put the children’s ages down, just to appease her. Then again, you never know, they just might bring me luck.

  “Now, was that so hard?”

  I just rolled my eyes and started cooking some breakfast. “You want something to eat?”

  “Yes.”

  I made us some bacon and eggs, called Dana and my kids, told them I’d be there
within the hour.

  Shantay borrowed something to put on and asked if I’d give her a lift to her room. I know you may be wondering why my sister isn’t staying with me. Well, I can’t have her in the condition that she’s in around my kids. I told her if she gets clean, she can come live with me, so it’s not like I didn’t offer, but it’s up to her to make the move, to initiate it. She hasn’t yet, so there is really nothing I can or am willing to do other than love her from a distance.

  5

  The Past Will Catch Up to You

  I dropped my sister off at her room and went to get the kids. On the way there, my cell phone rang. I looked at the number and saw that it was unfamiliar.

  “Hello?”

  “What’s up, it’s Understanding.”

  I almost hung up the phone, but I knew that wouldn’t do any good. I was going to have to face him sooner or later, and I figured why not now, over the phone, instead of face-to-face.

  “How did you get my cell number?”

  “I have my ways.”

  “Stop playing, how did you get the number?”

  “Ricky got it from Dana.”

  I was going to curse her ass out. “What do you want?”

  “I want to come and see my daughter today.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “I don’t give a fuck what you think. She’s my seed just as much as she is yours, and you can’t keep her away from me. It’s bad enough you stopped bringing her to see me while I was on lockdown. I’m home now and I plan on seeing her when I feel like it.”

  This man knew how to get on my last nerve. Didn’t he know you get more bees with honey?

  “I have to prepare her first.”

  “Prepare her for what? I’m her father.”

  “You’re not her father, a father does for his child.”

  “I couldn’t do for her in jail.”

  “That’s your fault.”

  “Listen, I know you’ve got a man.”

  “Who told you that?”

  “His name is Tyrone. I know everything there is to know about you. Your second baby’s daddy is a drug addict, you almost became one.”

  I hung up on his ass, didn’t even let him finish. I also turned my ringer off in case he called back.