The Enemy's Lair

by Max Chase

‘It was nothing,’ Peri said. ‘Anyone would have –’

  ‘Oh no, you are special. So trusting and generous,’ the Fooswaylian said, and waddled towards Peri and Diesel at surprising speed.

  His flipper-like hands extended and hugged them together tightly. He jumped up and down, making Peri and Diesel bounce up and down with him.

  ‘S’fâh!’ said Diesel. ‘There’s no need to –’

  The Fooswaylian backed off. He was smiling. Peri shuddered. There was something unpleasant about the little alien’s smile. And not just because his teeth were maroon.

  Peri heard what sounded like a low chuckle from Otto. It was hard to be sure because of the gag, but Otto appeared to be grinning.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Peri asked. He tried to move towards Otto, but was immediately pulled back. A strange, sticky purple gel had glued him to Diesel. They were literally joined at the hip.

  ‘What is this stuff?’ Diesel shouted in disgust.

  ‘Fooswaylia one, Earth nil!’ sang the Fooswaylian.

  He waddled over to Otto, ungagging and untying him. Then Otto and the Fooswaylian did a strange, shuffling dance together, which ended with them touching noses.

  ‘Thanks, Kahatama!’ Otto’s voice echoed around the Bridge. ‘Smooth work!’ Otto smacked his hands together over his head in salute. He smiled a lipless smile at Peri and Diesel. ‘It’s good to see you two have become so close!’

  ‘Don’t mess about, Otto!’ Peri screamed. ‘Let us go!’

  ‘You thought you could outsmart me? The greatest bounty hunter in the history of the universe? The most cunning, ruthless, unstoppable –’

  ‘This is getting boring.’ Diesel yawned. ‘Can’t we skip this bit?’

  ‘Don’t get cheeky with me!’ Otto stopped smiling. His eyes bulged like a pair of Krespossian Water-Figs. ‘You two space-monkeys are going to fly me home and we’re going to hand over the prince to the Meigwor authorities!’

  The prince, who’d been watching intently, began to struggle against his bonds. He shouted through the gag in his native tongue.

  ‘I’ll be decorated with medals and honours,’ Otto went on, ‘and you two, along with your friend Selene, will be handed over as specimens for live dissection at the Meigwor Exobiological College! How does that sound?!’

  ‘Pretty bad,’ Peri admitted.

  ‘Not so cocky now, are you?’ Otto smiled again. He extended his long double-jointed arm, to the hitchhiker. ‘Kahatama, the weapon!’

  The Fooswaylian produced a mega laserpulse as big as himself. Where could he have hidden that? Peri wondered.

  Kahatama started to laugh, which was a strange combination of panting and wheezing. He flashed his maroon teeth and pointed the weapon at Peri and Diesel.

  ‘Don’t move!’ Otto shouted. He took out a laser penknife and zipped through Peri’s and Diesel’s bonds. They broke apart. Strands of the purple goo were still stuck to them.

  ‘Peri, you will plot a direct course for Meigwor High Command. Diesel, you will be blown to shreds if he doesn’t do as he is told.’

  The Fooswaylian swivelled and pointed the laserpulse directly at Diesel’s head.

  ‘And programme the ship to go into Superluminal mode,’ Otto said, ‘as soon as the power cells are recharged!’

  Peri swallowed. He really didn’t like taking orders from Otto. Reluctantly, he went to the control panel and re-engaged the course, shifting from the coordinates for Selene to the ones for the Meigwor High Command. Otto craned his long, thick, crimson neck over Peri’s shoulder to watch.

  ‘And now,’ Otto said, ‘expand a holding cell, if you’d be so good!’

  Peri scanned the control panel for the right button, dial or touchpad.

  ‘Get on with it!’ Otto shouted.

  Then Peri remembered how easy the Phoenix made it. ‘Holding cell,’ Peri said in a voice barely above a whisper.

  ‘Speak up!’ Otto demanded. ‘I don’t think the ship heard you.’

  ‘Holding cell,’ Peri said and a portal opened to his left.

  ‘That’s it!’ Otto bellowed. ‘Now, all of you quick march – left right, left right, left right!’

  With the Fooswaylian aiming the mega laserpulse at them from the rear, they marched through a white corridor, the prince shuffling awkwardly because of his bonds, while Peri and Diesel did their best not to trip each other up. They reached a section of wall with a golden image of a prison gate on it. Otto touched this and a section of wall slid back.

  A bare, smooth-walled oval chamber like the inside of an egg was revealed.

  ‘In you go!’ Otto said and gave his prisoners a shove.

  As they staggered in, the wall slid shut again.

  ‘Now what?’ Diesel asked.

  Peri sank to the floor. He put his head in his hands. He felt as if all the hope had drained out of him. He, Selene and Diesel might well be the last survivors of the Milky Way galaxy, if Xion’s earlier attack had succeeded. But they weren’t going to survive for much longer.

  Chapter 7

  ‘What the prrrip’chiq are we going to do?’ Diesel asked.

  Peri roused himself. ‘Well, we could untie the prince,’ he said.

  ‘Don’t waste your time on that Xion lamizoid!’ Diesel said. ‘We’re at war with them, too. Don’t you remember how their battleship destroyed the IF Space Station?’

  ‘That’s not his fault,’ said Peri. He turned to Prince Onix. ‘We kidnapped you by accident.’ Peri explained the mix-up to the prince properly before he ungagged him.

  ‘Thank you,’ the prince said. ‘I am sorry about the war.’

  ‘Sorry’s not good enough,’ said Diesel. ‘Why did you attack us?’

  ‘My planet was desperate,’ the prince said, backing away from the puffed-up half-Martian. ‘We are running short of our most important fuel – carbon dioxide. For centuries our enemies the Meigwors have been stealing this precious resource from us. They use it to heat up their atmosphere – they can’t stand even the slightest cold, as you know.’

  ‘Skip the exobiology lesson,’ Diesel snapped. ‘Why did you attack our galaxy?’

  ‘Because our own CO² resources were so depleted we had to look elsewhere. Earth pumps large volumes of CO² into its atmosphere, so we began to drill holes and secretly siphon off some of it.’

  Peri started to untie the prince. ‘That explains the holes in our ozone. It’s puzzled Earth scientists for centuries. We used to have global warming, then global cooling . . .’

  The prince nodded. ‘It would have such an effect, yes. Anyway, our situation did not get better. Siphoning off small quantities from Earth was no longer enough. Our politicians said we had no choice but to attack and take it all.’

  ‘Seems to me there must have been lots of other choices,’ Peri said. ‘Why didn’t you talk to Earth and the other Milky Way planets – try to make a trade? We are a fair people, you know.’

  Prince Onix hung his head. ‘I know it was wrong. But there was no time. We thought we were threatened with extinction. Intergalactic negotiations and treaties take years.’

  ‘Yeah, OK, whatever. Enough of that,’ Diesel interrupted. ‘We have to get out of here.’ He pointed at Peri. ‘Come on, bionic guts – use that special connection of yours to help us escape.’

  Peri shook his head. ‘I’ve lost the connection.’

  ‘What?’ Diesel shouted.

  ‘Ever since I was zapped by that electric mace,’ Peri explained, ‘it’s as if my circuits are jumbled.’

  Diesel squinted. The strip of hair on his head spiked straight up in the air. ‘Maybe you need a reboot, robot.’

  Peri frowned. ‘What do you mean?’

  Diesel didn’t answer. Instead, he curled his hand into a fist and punched Peri in the jaw.

  Peri saw stars and then his world went black. The next thing he knew, Diesel and Prince Onix were helping him to his feet.

  Peri shook his head. He rubbed his sore jaw. ‘Why did you do that?’
r />   ‘Manual reboot,’ Diesel said with a smile. ‘Did it work?’

  Peri did feel as if something had clicked back into place. He wiggled his jaw to make sure nothing was broken. ‘You didn’t have to hit me so hard.’

  Diesel smirked. ‘If it worked, that’s all that matters.’

  Peri took a deep breath and walked to the section of wall that had slid back to admit them. It was completely smooth, no sign of a join. He placed his palms on the wall. It was warm to the touch. A humming noise began in his head. Yes, he could feel something beneath his fingertips, a network of energy lines, running through the wall like arteries and veins. There was a place where the energy lines converged – a hot spot. He pressed. A panel slid silently open. Beneath, he saw a pattern of pulsing lines, red, yellow, blue and green, like spaghetti made of light. He knew, somehow, he had to place his thumb just there, breaking the connection between the red light and the blue.

  He felt a mild tingling in his thumb as he touched the spot. There was a soft hum. The cell door slid open.

  ‘Well done,’ Prince Onix whispered, looking up and down the corridor.

  ‘Took your time about it,’ said Diesel.

  ‘We have to beam down to Meigwor to rescue Selene,’ Peri said. He felt his energy surge. An idea was forming. He was getting back to his old bionic self. He touched another section of wall. ‘Bits and bobs,’ he said to the Phoenix. ‘Unlock.’

  The bits and bobs drawer slid out. From a jumble of string, gaffer tape and laser screwdrivers, he pulled out the Xion teleportation band. ‘Lucky we’ve got this!’ Peri turned to the prince. ‘But you’d better not come. Meigwor isn’t safe for you.’

  ‘It isn’t safe for us either,’ Diesel added.

  ‘If I stay on the ship, the Meigwor and the Fooswaylian will find me,’ said Prince Onix, nervously chewing his lip.

  ‘No, they won’t,’ said Peri. ‘Follow me!’

  He set off at a run along the corridor. The others followed.

  They came to a green-glowing, oval panel set into the wall. ‘Com-pad,’ Peri explained. ‘It’s where I talk to the ship.’

  He moved his hands over the panel, pushing buttons and flipping switches. The green glow intensified. From somewhere deep in the ship, Peri heard crackling and popping. Then a noise like the twanging of a super-loud and out-of-tune guitar. The ceiling rushed away from them, rising higher and higher until it was far above them like a mauve-tinted sky.

  ‘Phawwada!’ said Diesel. ‘Ambahl’eevabaw!’

  ‘What is happening?’ the prince asked.

  ‘I’m expanding the ship,’ Peri explained. ‘Max dimensions – it grows to the size of a small planet. Otto will never find you now.’

  Prince Onix smiled. ‘Impressive.’

  ‘It will also slow the ship so that it won’t reach Meigwor any time soon.’ Peri strapped the teleportation device to his wrist.

  Prince Onix fiddled with a few tiny, nearly invisible dials where the orange button met the band. ‘You have to be touching,’ Prince Onix explained. ‘Then you can go together.’

  Diesel took a step away. ‘It works on humans and Martians, doesn’t it?’ he asked.

  ‘I cannot say for certain,’ Prince Onix said.

  ‘Come on, Diesel – there’s only one way to find out,’ Peri said and pressed the button to make his helmet pop up again. Diesel did the same. Peri tapped a few more buttons on the com-pad and typed in a pass code he didn’t even know he knew. ‘Lowering shields.’

  ‘We want to go here,’ Peri showed Prince Onix the long string of letters and numbers that were the coordinates for Selene’s last location.

  The prince fiddled with the teleportation device again. Peri couldn’t see exactly what he was doing. ‘I’ve done the best I can,’ the prince said. ‘I’ve also reprogrammed the Phoenix as the home base for the device.’

  Peri took hold of Diesel’s arm.

  ‘Ready?’

  ‘I don’t know about this –’

  Peri pressed the teleportation button.

  Chapter 8

  Peri felt a tingling in his guts, like he’d once felt when jumping off the twenty-metre board into the Maelstrom Gelpool at the IFA gymnasium. He seemed to be in a black sky full of stars. Then he realised he was the stars. He’d exploded into tiny fragments, but all the tiny fragments were him, somehow.

  Then the stars rushed back together – Whoooomph! He was in one piece again. He couldn’t see or hear anything, but knew that he was falling, falling, falling from a great height . . .

  No he wasn’t.

  He was standing on firm ground. Somewhere very, very hot.

  He opened his eyes.

  He and Diesel were in the middle of a jungle. Steam rose from the trunks of the tangled, twisted trees with their purple-and-green leaves. Sweat poured down Peri’s face.

  ‘Af-kyot,’ Diesel said. ‘It’s boiling.’

  On the Plexiglas visor of the Expedition Wear helmet was a tiny, blinking red dot. It indicated Selene’s whereabouts – she was directly ahead. They began to march towards the dot. Peri felt relief as cool air coursed around his Expedition Wear. The automatic aircon had kicked in.

  The going was still difficult. The ground was soft and squelchy. Evil thorns spiked from the branches of the trees. If one of those ripped their suits, they’d be in trouble – the poisonous atmosphere would choke them, even before the heat cooked them.

  The cries and shrieks and whistles of Meigwor wildlife rang through the forest. Peri hoped they wouldn’t meet anything a) big, b) carnivorous, and c) hungry.

  There was a crash in the trees ahead and a nightmarish creature sprang into view. It was bright red, about the size of a chimpanzee, but without the fur. It had hard, shiny skin with huge muscles underneath. It had six arms, which it was using to swing from tree to tree. The most noticeable thing about it was the absence of a head. It had a long neck which ended in a gaping mouth filled with sharp, curved teeth. It sensed Diesel and Otto somehow and came swinging in their direction, grunting.

  Peri’s SpeakEasy tuned in and the grunts turned into words. ‘YUM! DINNER! LOVELY DINNER! TWO DINNERS!’

  ‘Run!’ shouted Diesel.

  The Meigwor mud sucked at their feet. Trees and thorny bushes loomed up before them. The hideous creature’s excited grunts were getting louder. There was no way they could outrun it – it was built for the jungle, they weren’t.

  Suddenly, Peri knew what to do. He reached down for the sparkling button at his ankle and touched it and rose straight up into the air, through the trees. He looked down and saw the creature right behind Diesel.

  ‘ONLY ONE DINNER NOW! BUT STILL YUM!’ Peri heard the creature grunt.

  ‘Diesel!’ Peri shouted. ‘Press the Zero-G button! On your ankle!’

  Diesel fumbled for the button. The creature reached out three of its six arms to grab him.

  Diesel touched the button. The creature’s paws grasped empty air as the half-Martian sailed up through the trees to join Peri.

  Peri heard the creature grunt in disappointment, ‘NO DINNER!’

  ‘Good job I found that button in time!’ Diesel said.

  ‘Yes,’ said Peri, wondering if Diesel might thank him for thinking of it. He wasn’t surprised when Diesel didn’t.

  Walking in Zero-G mode was not easy. They were just above the tree canopy, and their feet had nothing to touch except air. They had to make swimming motions with their arms. Peri remembered learning in science class at the IF Academy that air was a fluid. But it was a very thin fluid. They had to make huge arm-sweeps and take huge strides to get anywhere. But they gradually got the hang of it. Soon the tree canopy was scooting by beneath them.

  The blinking dot on Peri’s visor got bigger. And bigger. It took shape.

  Peri looked down into a clearing below and saw that the dot had become Selene herself.

  ‘There she is!’ Diesel said, seeing her too.

  Peri touched the Zero-G button again. He began an a
ngled descent into the clearing. The ground came up to meet him and he landed at a run, keeping his balance. Diesel landed beside him, more heavily.

  ‘Selene!’ Peri shouted.

  Selene turned and stared at them. She didn’t say anything. The sunlight shone off her visor, so that Peri couldn’t see her face.

  ‘It’s us, you dumboid!’ Diesel yelled. ‘We’ve come to rescue you.’

  Selene raised a small, hand-held laser and fired it at Diesel.

  Peri reacted the quickest, diving at Diesel’s legs to tackle him clear. The laser beam passed overhead and hit the tree behind them. It burst into flames.

  ‘What’s the matter with her? Has she gone crazy?’ Diesel asked.

  As they scrambled to their feet, Selene aimed the laser again.

  Peri rolled to the ground. Another laser beam zipped past.

  ‘Looks like it,’ he said.

  Zigzagging wildly – as recommended in the chapter on evading enemy fire in The IFA Field Survival Guide – they made it into the cover of the trees. The leaves around them flared up in flames. Selene was still firing.

  ‘The heat must have turned her brain,’ Diesel said, still running. ‘Let’s go back to the ship and leave her behind.’

  ‘No,’ Peri said. ‘If we can just disarm her, we can reason with her –’

  ‘How are we going to disarm her?’ demanded Diesel.

  Peri felt in his pocket. ‘With this,’ he said. In the palm of his hand was the one Paralyside pellet left over from the fight with the Xion guards. ‘Activate your Atmos-Filter.’

  With his nostril plugs in place, he broke cover. Selene instantly turned the laser on him. He dived to the ground, hurling the pellet at her feet. It detonated with a crack. Grey smoke arose. Selene reeled and fell over.

  Peri ran to where she lay and grabbed the handlaser from her. Diesel ran up to join him.

  ‘Selene,’ Peri said. ‘It’s us, Diesel and Peri. Don’t you remember? We’ve come to take you back!’

  Selene groggily got to her feet. ‘Who is Selene?’ the voice beyond the visor said. It was gruff and guttural. It didn’t sound anything like their friend.