The Enemy's Lair

by Max Chase

  Which was not surprising. For the first time, Peri got a proper look through the visor of Selene’s Expedition Wear helmet. The face that stared back was crimson, blotchy, with a long snakelike neck coiled neatly around its head.

  ‘It’s a Meigwor!’

  Chapter 9

  ‘What have you done with Selene?’ Peri demanded.

  ‘I have done nothing with Selene,’ said the Meigwor, his translated voice scratchy through the SpeakEasy. ‘I do not know what Selene is.’

  Diesel stepped in front of Peri and poked his finger in the Meigwor’s chest. ‘Where did you get that suit?’

  ‘In trade with a human. For some spaceship parts – a transformational booster a zonkschrift drive and some universal fixative.’

  Peri brushed Diesel aside. ‘What did this person look like?’

  The Meigwor splayed his elbows out like a chicken’s. Peri and Diesel looked at each other in surprise. That must be how a Meigwor shrugs, thought Peri.

  ‘Of small stature,’ the Meigwor started. ‘Female gender. Head-growth of considerable length.’

  ‘Sounds like Selene,’ Peri said to Diesel. ‘But why would she get rid of her suit? And what does she want spaceship parts for?’

  Diesel scratched the back of his head. ‘Maybe the heat’s driven her crazy, like I said.’

  ‘When did you last see her? Was it near here?’ Peri asked the Meigwor.

  ‘Not far – she’s in that garage over there, see?’ The Meigwor pointed to the far side of the clearing where a low, white building was half hidden by overhanging purple-and-green leaves.

  ‘Great!’ Peri said. He turned to go, and stopped. ‘Can I ask a question?’

  ‘You just did,’ said the Meigwor.

  ‘I want to ask another one. Why did you shoot at us?’

  ‘Just Meigwor habit. “See a stranger, shoot a stranger,” that’s what we say.’

  ‘Right,’ Peri said. ‘I see. Well . . . You won’t mind if I hold on to this handlaser, then? Just to be on the safe side.’

  Peri and Diesel ran across the clearing. As they neared the garage, they heard booming voices. Then laughter. Then the noise of some sort of electric drill and the scream of metal on metal.

  ‘I don’t like the sound of that,’ Peri said. ‘There’re Meigwors in there with her. They could be torturing her for fun.’

  He set the handlaser to ‘fairly painful stun’ and kicked open the door.

  Selene stood there, flanked by two tall Meigwors. Their snaky, red necks craned curiously towards Peri and Diesel.

  Peri hit them with a blast each from the handlaser. The Meigwors crumpled to the floor.

  ‘What did you do that for, space-dunce?’ Selene demanded. She was wearing dark blue overalls and had a streak of oil across her cheek. Spaceship parts and tools were scattered all around. At the back of the garage was an old grey flying saucer, scratched and dented.

  ‘We are rescuing you,’ Peri said.

  Selene snorted. ‘Yeah, right.’ She knelt beside the two dazed Meigwors. ‘You OK, guys?’

  ‘That really hurt!’ said one of them.

  ‘Like stubbing your toe really hard, but all over your body!’ said the other.

  Selene helped them to their feet.

  ‘She’s gone mad,’ Diesel muttered to Peri. ‘Totally flipped. We have to get her out of here.’

  He grabbed Selene and pulled her towards him.

  ‘Back off, you guys!’ he warned the Meigwors. ‘Or my friend will zap you again.’

  ‘Get off!’ said Selene, struggling against Diesel’s firm grip.

  ‘Don’t worry,’ said Diesel soothingly. ‘You must have been hypnotised or drugged – but we’ll cure you . . .’

  Selene elbowed him in the stomach and broke free.

  ‘You total blankoid, Diesel!’ she screamed.

  ‘Grark! Don’t talk to me like that!’ Diesel shouted. ‘Have you forgotten who I am?’

  Peri held up both his hands. ‘OK, easy. Both of you.’ He turned to Selene and asked, ‘What’s going on, exactly?’

  ‘Blotto and Blatto are my friends,’ Selene said, gesturing to the two Meigwors. They helped me escape from General Rouwgim. They’re his enemies, just like we are.’

  ‘But I saw you on the Quikmap monitor,’ Peri said. ‘You were being attacked – by Meigwors. They had swords and laserpulses –’

  ‘That was a training exercise,’ Selene explained. ‘I was running through a few combat scenarios with these guys and their friends.’

  ‘We are working to overthrow the evil Emperor Niatto the Nasty,’ said Blotto. ‘And Selene’s help was invaluable – she certainly knows plenty of tricks!’

  Selene nodded. ‘That’s why they let me have this old flying saucer. I’m trying to fix it up and blast out of here. Except, I can’t get it to work.’

  ‘Forget that!’ said Diesel. ‘We don’t have time to mess with that old junk. We’ve left Otto on the ship, he could be up to anything.’

  He threw his arm round Selene’s shoulder and grabbed Peri by the arm. He reached for the orange button on the Xion teleportation band.

  ‘Will it work with three –’ Peri started but Diesel slammed the button before he could finish his sentence.

  ‘Woooaaaagh!’ Peri screamed. He felt as if he was being stretched, squashed and shuffled all at once. The air crackled and sparkled and flashed. Something was wrong – there was an enormous field of energy playing around them – but they weren’t going anywhere.

  All three of them collapsed in a heap. They had not moved. They were still in the garage. The air stopped crackling and sparkling and flashing. Peri began to feel normal.

  Almost normal. Had he short-circuited again? He got to his feet and noticed at once that the ground seemed further away than usual. Diesel, who was usually taller than him, was now small enough so that Peri could see the top of his head of long brown hair. But Diesel didn’t have long, brown hair. He looked to his right and saw Selene running a hand over her head, which was completely bald – except for the strip of hair running along the middle.

  Peri closed his eyes and shook his head. He couldn’t be seeing what he was seeing. But he opened his eyes again to the strange jumbled sight. He, Diesel and Selene’s bodies had been mixed and matched.

  ‘Uh-oh,’ Selene breathed.

  Diesel held out a lock of hair that was attached to his head and gazed at it in horror. ‘I’m a girl! No!’

  ‘I guess that’s what happens when you use technology you don’t understand,’ said Peri. ‘Maybe there’s a way to set it for three users, but we didn’t –’

  ‘You’ve got my legs!’ Diesel interrupted him. ‘Give them back! Right now!’

  ‘How?’

  ‘I’m a short-legged girl!’ wailed Diesel.

  Peri cautiously checked the rest of himself. It all seemed to be in order . . . No, wait, he thought. My stomach! It was no longer the firm stomach he was used to. He could push his finger right in. There were no bionic parts under there any more.

  Selene saw him touch his stomach and copied the gesture. Her mouth dropped open in shock. ‘It feels like there’s metal under my skin!’

  ‘We got shuffled!’ said Peri. ‘We have to get off this planet – and hope there’s something on the Phoenix that’ll change us back.’

  ‘There'd better be!’ said Diesel. ‘I don’t want to spend the rest of my life as a girl! With dwarf legs!’

  ‘My legs are normal!’ said Peri, annoyed. ‘It’s yours that are too long.’

  Selene picked up a piece of space junk – it looked like an old-fashioned power cell – and carried it over to the flying saucer. ‘I’d better have another try at this,’ she said.

  She banged and clanged about, fitting it under the saucer’s bonnet.

  ‘So – you’re the Resistance, are you?’ said Peri to Blotto, trying to make conversation.

  ‘Yes,’ said Blotto. ‘Not all Meigwors are cruel and aggressive like Niatto and his m
ates.’

  ‘Yeah, some of us think that all the intelligent life forms should live together in peace and harmony.’

  ‘But Niatto doesn’t like peace,’ said Blotto. ‘So we don’t like him.’

  ‘Hey, guys!’ said Selene. ‘I think I’ve cracked it!’

  ‘What?’ said Peri. ‘That was quick!’

  ‘I know, it’s amazing – I suddenly felt I could totally understand this machine, I knew exactly what to do and my fingers worked so fast it’s as if I was –’

  ‘Bionic,’ Peri finished her sentence.

  ‘Yeah,’ Selene said.

  ‘Long story,’ Peri said. ‘I’ll tell you later.’ Peri found that he missed being bionic.

  ‘Let’s go!’ Selene said and opened the door of the flying saucer. It was small and cramped inside, and smelt of stinky leather and alien sweat. The controls at the front were sticky with brown and yellow stains. Peri tried not to think about what kind of aliens had been in here before them.

  ‘Goodbye, you guys,’ Peri called to the Meigwors. ‘Sorry for zapping you!’

  ‘Good luck!’ called Selene as she climbed into the flying saucer. It had been designed for only two occupants. When Diesel and Peri piled in after her, they were almost sitting on each other’s laps.

  ‘Your hair’s in my face!’ said Selene.

  ‘It’s not my hair, it’s your hair!’ said Diesel.

  ‘Couldn’t you have got something bigger?’ asked Peri.

  ‘I was lucky to get this,’ said Selene. She closed the lid. A single neon strip light flickered on. Selene’s fingers raced across the console, touching buttons, as if she was playing the piano, or a Gromboolian Synthesiser.

  They began to move. First, the saucer juddered forward, then hovered a few centimetres off the ground. It seemed to drag its way out of the garage, into the clearing, each side dipping and shaking with the motion.

  Selene pressed more buttons. ‘OK,’ she said. ‘Here we go.’

  She reached for a lever and gently pulled it down. The saucer spun, slowly at first, and then faster and faster. Peri felt a curious tingling in his belly, and realised that he was feeling dizzy and sick. The old-fashioned spaceship didn’t have the modern stabilisers that the Phoenix had.

  Through the tiny porthole, Peri saw Blotto and Blatto down below, waving goodbye. Then the two Meigwors became a blur as the saucer spun and spun, faster and faster. The whole jungle became a blur, looking like someone had spilt water on a painting, making the colours run.

  Whooosh! In a couple of nanoseconds they had left the jungle far behind and were hurtling up through the clouds.

  ‘This old wreck can certainly shift!’ said Selene.

  The sky all around them turned red. An ear-splitting siren wailed. A moment later, the sky was filled with the feared Meigwor Ultracombat craft converging on them. They were black craft with pointed noses. And they were fast.

  ‘We’ve got company,’ Selene said, turning a dial and making the flying saucer drop low, beneath their attackers.

  Twin lasers zipped overhead, right where their tiny craft had been a nanosecond before.

  ‘Let’s get out of here!’ Diesel bellowed.

  Inside, Peri tingled with fear. This could be the end. The Meigwors were not out to capture them now; they were out to blow them to pieces. He noticed that Selene’s strip of hair had turned a dull grey.

  ‘I’ll steer,’ said Selene. ‘Peri, you take charge of the boosters.’

  ‘What about me?’ demanded Diesel.

  ‘You can be lookout.’

  ‘OK – there’s one coming straight for us on the starboard side!’

  ‘Thanks,’ said Selene, deftly switching course, while Peri pulled both booster levers. The Ultracombat craft passed beneath them and its laser beams streamed away into space.

  ‘Two more above us, to port!’ shouted Diesel.

  Again, Selene and Peri dodged out of the danger zone. The Ultracombat craft were much more powerful than the tiny flying saucer. But they weren’t as mobile.

  ‘One on each side!’ screamed Diesel. ‘Port and starboard!’

  Peri reached over Selene’s shoulders to wrench the booster levers up. The flying saucer spun in tight circles, rocketing up higher out of Meigwor’s atmosphere.

  The two Ultracombat craft fired at the same instant. Their laser beams passed below the flying saucer and hit each other. They both exploded in orange fireballs, propelling the flying saucer even further into outer space.

  ‘Yay!’ said Diesel. Peri and Selene briefly took their hands from the controls to high-five each other.

  ‘Look!’ said Diesel. ‘They’re turning back!’

  He was right. The Meigwor Ultracombat craft were wheeling around and diving back to the planet’s surface.

  Diesel punched the air then flipped Selene’s long hair out of his face. ‘We did it!’

  Selene frowned. ‘It’s not like the Meigwors to give up so easily. They must have some other trick up their sleeve.’

  ‘Like what?’ said Diesel.

  Peri’s eye fell on the radar screen.

  ‘Like that,’ he said.

  Two giant rocks, the size of small moons, were heading straight for them.

  Chapter 10

  ‘Quick!’ Diesel shouted. ‘Dodge them!’

  Peri grabbed the booster levers and tried to calculate a path away from the moon-sized asteroids. Diesel shouted commands and Selene obeyed – slicing left then right. Up and down.

  ‘It’s not working,’ Selene said, twisting to look at the asteroids advancing on both sides of her. The huge rocks were closing in. ‘Look at the size of those things? Here!’ She squeezed out of the way. ‘You take the controls, Diesel. Peri, do you still have that teleporter?’

  Peri gave it to her, keeping one hand on the boosters, pushing the flying saucer higher and faster. ‘But . . . it might scramble us up completely this time!’

  Selene examined the teleporter closely. She wedged her fingernail at the hinge and cracked it open. ‘It was configured for two,’ she said, tugging at tiny wires and stripping them with her teeth. Peri was unnerved as he watched her twist and pinch wires using his hands.

  His bionic hands.

  Peri glanced out of the porthole. One of the rocks was rolling and tumbling in space as it rushed towards them. He glanced out of the other porthole and saw the exact same thing.

  ‘That’s it!’ said Selene. ‘I think.’ She clapped one hand on each of her comrades.

  I hope this works, thought Peri.

  Selene hit the button.

  Peri felt the tingling, then the blackness. Then the sensation of fragmenting into millions of tiny stars. Then the rush of energy as all those stars crashed together, and then the falling sensation . . . Then firm ground beneath his feet.

  He opened his eyes. He was back on the Bridge of the Phoenix, with Diesel and Selene. Selene had her long brown hair back; Diesel had his strip of hair, and his own legs. Peri touched his stomach. It was firm once more.

  ‘We’re back to normal!’ he said.

  ‘Look!’ Diesel said, pointing to the 360-monitor and the tiny flying saucer they’d just left, an insignificant dot in the vastness of space. The two great asteroids were speeding towards it on a collision course. The flying saucer exploded into billions of fragments that rained in space when the asteroids crashed into one another.

  ‘F’narg!’ said Diesel. ‘That was nearly us!’

  ‘They’ll think they got us!’ Peri said. ‘They won’t know that we teleported – they’ll stop coming after us now!’

  A booming Meigwor voice came over the ship’s speakers. ‘Earth criminals! This is General Rouwgim! Our sensors have picked up your escape! Return to Meigwor immediately! Bring the prince with you! This is an order! Failure to comply will result in annihilation!’

  They stared at each other in alarm. Selene looked at the control panel. ‘The Expansion Packs are engaged! You’d better shrink the ship – we make a
pretty big target like this!’

  Peri waved his hand and the control panel glided into his grasp. His fingers effortlessly flicked across the switches and dials as he downsized the ship.

  Immediately, Prince Onix, Otto and Kahatama came tumbling into the Bridge from wherever they had been.

  ‘What happened?’ Prince Onix asked, gazing round in confusion.

  The little Fooswaylian was holding an enormous laserpulse. He looked like a plum carrying a banana. Otto had a duster.

  ‘Right!’ Otto boomed. ‘Enough messing about! Turn this ship round and head straight for Meigwor right now – or I’ll pulverise you!’

  ‘And then I’ll blast you to smithereens!’ said the Fooswaylian.

  ‘Return to Meigwor!’ boomed General Rouwgim. ‘Or be annihilated!’

  ‘OK,’ said Peri mildly. ‘Fair enough.’

  ‘I’ll give you a hand,’ said Selene, catching his eye.

  ‘No!’ Prince Onix screamed. ‘You can’t let them take me to Meigwor!’

  ‘Just what do you guys think you’re doing?’ demanded Diesel.

  ‘They’re being sensible!’ boomed Otto. ‘Giving up the fight in the face of overwhelming force.’

  Kahatama sniggered.

  ‘Let me see . . .’ Peri muttered, scanning the console.

  ‘Hmm . . .’ said Selene.

  They looked at each other and nodded.

  Peri touched the Eject Hazardous Space Waste button.

  At exactly the same time, Selene stroked the Contain Exo-Zoological Specimens touchpad.

  Two metal arms shot out of the floor, grabbed Kahatama and turned him upside down. He squeaked and dropped his laserpulse. A trapdoor opened in the floor, leading to a waste disposal chute. The metal arms neatly dropped the Fooswaylian down the chute.

  ‘WAAAAHHHH –’ he began; but the rest was cut off by the trapdoor closing.

  ‘What the –’ began Otto. A transparent cylinder shot down from the ceiling and imprisoned him, muffling his voice. He beat furiously on the surface.

  ‘Can he break out of that?’ Diesel asked.