At Seventeen

by Gerri Hill

  “You mean if medical school is not for me?”

  She nodded. “I know your father, your grandparents, all pushed you down this path. I know firsthand how good they are at pushing in the direction they want. But it needs to be your decision. I don’t want you to have any regrets.”

  “Like you do?”

  She smiled sadly. “Yes. I have regrets. Lots of them. But it’s too late for me. You have the world in front of you. Don’t let them influence you too much.”

  “Mom, you’re only thirty-eight. You could still—”

  “I’m only thirty-seven,” she corrected with a smile. “I still have a few months to go, thank you very much.”

  “Sorry,” he said with a grin. “What I mean is, it’s not too late. If you want to make changes, well, you have my blessing,” he said, his young face sporting a blush now. “With Dad, I mean.”

  She pulled him into a hug, then released him. “Thank you. But it’s not that simple.”

  He cleared his throat slightly. “Miss Alice said the happiest she’s ever seen you was when you were young and you and Shannon were always together. She said your eyes always had a spark in them. Then you left for college and…well.” He looked at her sadly. “I don’t ever see that spark, Mom.”

  “Oh, honey,” she whispered, hugging him yet again. “It’s…it’s so complicated.”

  Yes, everything with Shannon was complicated. She hadn’t seen her in five years. She knew from Alice that Shannon would be back in town in the next month or so. They were going to open up another store. She knew Alice was proud of the success Shannon and Jarod had, rightfully so, but she sensed Alice was happier with the fact that they would be around more. She knew a big part of that was her fault. Shannon stayed away because of her. Maybe that’s one reason she’d always felt the need to check in on Alice. Alice was the person she wished her own mother had been. And she knew for a fact that Ashton was much closer to Alice than he was to his own grandmother. Alice was warm and caring, two things glaringly missing from her mother’s personality.

  Yet Shannon was coming back to Brook Hill. They would surely run into each other at some point. Would it be awkward, like it usually was? Would they warm up to each other eventually? Would they dare be alone together? Would the spark still be there after another five years had passed?

  A part of her hoped it still burned as brightly, but another part feared that it did.

  With Ashton leaving, her life was at a crossroads. Dare she make a change? Was she strong enough to stand up to her mother? To Stephen?

  Was she brave enough?

  Chapter Sixteen

  “So what do you think, sis?”

  Shannon followed Jarod through the dusty parking lot. The new shopping center was being built on the southwest side of town, where most of the new subdivisions were going up. Brook Hill was expanding yet again and this seemed a perfect location for their store.

  “How much leeway would we have on the design?” she asked.

  “This whole section on the north side is not rented yet. We could take as much as we like.” He grinned at her. “This could be our largest store. We could take four or five units, really expand our inventory.”

  Their first three stores, while not exactly tiny, were not big enough to be compared to the large grocery stores found in most subdivisions. If they rented five sections of this shopping center, it would be huge compared to their others.

  “That’s a big investment,” she said cautiously. “If it bombs, then—”

  “It’s not going to bomb. We’ve done our research, like always. And if it’s a success, then we’ve set a new standard.”

  She trusted his business sense, she always had. But he was usually the practical one, the conservative one. She’d wanted to make a big splash with their first store, and he’d talked her down, keeping it in a range they could afford. It was a model that had worked three times so far. This, this would be huge for them. Not only the inventory, but finishing the construction on the inside as well.

  “And the bank? This would be a larger loan than before.”

  “I’ve already got it approved, sis.”

  She stared at him, then glanced to the construction going on around them, knowing she would go with his instincts. “Okay.” She nodded. “Then let’s do it. Another Fletcher’s Natural Foods Market.”

  He stuck his hand out and they shook, as if sealing a business deal. Which, in a sense, it was. Jarod managed the business side of things and the day-to-day running of the stores. Shannon designed the layout of the stores and managed their inventories. Both were involved in the hiring as they each had standards they wanted. They paid more than other grocery stores, but they demanded more. That was something she’d learned from her early days of working at Whole Foods.

  As they walked back to Jarod’s truck, she bumped his arm. “What about Joan and the kids? Has she decided yet?”

  “After school is out, they’re going to move here for the summer, see how the kids like it. If it goes well, then we’ll enroll them in school here.”

  “Wow. You’d really move back to Brook Hill permanently?”

  “Mom needs us,” he reminded her. “I feel like I missed out on so much, spending twenty years in the military. You were left to take care of things for so long.”

  “It’s not like she needed taking care of back then,” she said. She felt a stab of guilt. She, too, had been away, but for very different reasons.

  “What about you? Have you decided what you’re going to do while this project is going on? You want to go in together and rent a house?”

  “I think I’ll move in with Mom. When Joan and the kids come on weekends, well, you need your time with them. And it’ll be good to be around to help Mom. I know she’ll love the company.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Madison stopped in her tracks when she saw her. Shannon was as tall and lean as ever, her hair still cut stylishly short. But the tank she was wearing left little to the imagination. Madison’s hungry eyes roamed over her, the muscles in her arms and back straining with the weight of the desk she and Jarod were unloading. As if sensing her presence, Shannon paused, her head turning slightly, eyebrows raised. Madison smiled tentatively. She hadn’t known Shannon would be there. Alice had not mentioned when they would be arriving. She was about to offer an apology and make a quick escape when Shannon grinned at her.

  “A little help here, if you don’t mind.”

  She hurried over, her eyes meeting Shannon’s briefly before she grabbed onto a corner. She smiled at Jarod and nodded.

  “Good to see you again.”

  “You too,” he said. “This one,” he said, motioning to Shannon, “thought we could move this monster without help. Glad you came by.”

  “I was dropping by to see Alice. I didn’t know you two would be here,” she said.

  “Officially moving in next week,” Shannon said. “But I had to have a desk,” she said, glancing at the heavy piece of furniture they all had a hand on. “If you could help us turn it to get it up the steps, that would be great.”

  “Where’s your mother?”

  “Doing what she does best,” Jarod said. “Cooking.”

  Madison wasn’t certain she was helping at all, but she did manage to keep a grip on one edge of the desk. Jarod took the brunt of the weigh as he maneuvered them through the front door.

  “Don’t scratch the wall!” Alice called from the kitchen.

  “I’ll fix it if we do,” Shannon said as she squeezed by the door.

  “Madison! What a surprise,” Alice said as she came to inspect the damage. “And they’ve got you helping.”

  “I’m not sure I’m really doing anything though,” she said with a smile as she kept a hand on the desk.

  “In here,” Shannon said, moving them into the spare bedroom.

  It had already been transformed, Madison noted. The standard double bed and old dresser had been replaced by a king bed and matching chest of drawers.
She couldn’t imagine how the desk was going to fit.

  “Tight squeeze, sis,” Jarod said skeptically.

  “I know. But I measured. It’ll fit.”

  “Am I in the way?” Madison asked as she and Shannon were pressed against the wall, the desk leaning heavily against them.

  “We’ve been in tighter spots,” Shannon murmured with a smile.

  Madison grinned in return. It had been so long since she and Shannon had been playful with each other, she hardly knew how to react.

  “You’re not going to have any room to even walk around in here,” Jarod said as he set the desk down in the corner.

  “I don’t care. I need my desk,” Shannon said, running a hand across its polished surface. “Scoot it back a little,” she said as she picked up one corner and shoved it back against the wall.

  “It looks good in here,” Madison said. “It’s a special desk, I assume?”

  “Well, it’s not a fancy antique piece or anything,” Shannon said. “When I got my own place, it was the first piece of furniture I bought. Back when computers were computers and not laptops,” she said with a grin. “But it’s comfortable and I need two laptops so this way I can spread out and not infringe on Mom’s space.”

  “More like clutter Mom’s space,” her mother corrected. She glanced at Madison. “You’ll stay for lunch?”

  “Oh, I don’t want to intrude,” she said. “I just came by to check on you. I didn’t know Shannon and Jarod would be here already.”

  “You’re not intruding. I baked a small roast this morning. We’re going to have roast beef sandwiches.” She looked at Shannon. “Well, we are. Shannon has some tofu slices marinating. I have no idea what she plans to do with them.”

  “I’m going to pan-fry them and serve them in a gluten free wrap with lettuce, peppers and sprouts and topped with my secret sauce,” Shannon said. “And it’ll be crunchy and fresh and you’ll all wish you had some.”

  “I’ll stick with the roast beef, sis.”

  “You own health food stores,” Shannon said. “How can you continue to eat that way?”

  He shook his head. “Joan cooks meatless meals quite often,” he said. “But I draw the line at tofu,” he said, making a face.

  Shannon looked at Madison. “You?”

  “Well, since your mother went to all the trouble, I should probably have the roast beef sandwich too,” she said with a smile.

  “Chicken,” Shannon muttered.

  Madison laughed. “I have never had tofu that I’ve liked. Sorry.”

  “Then you and Jarod will have to sample it.”

  Even though she and Shannon had not had a second alone together, the conversation was not strained in the least. It was pleasant, actually. For the first time in the last eighteen years, there was no underlying tension between them. That was a bit puzzling. Perhaps Shannon had put it behind her? It had been five years since they’d seen each other. The last time, well, they had had a few stolen moments in the car, that was all. The fire had still been there. Now? Now Shannon seemed to be past it. Maybe she had moved on. Maybe she was dating someone. Maybe she was in love with someone. That thought brought a sharp pain to her heart. She was being selfish, she knew. Shannon deserved a life, deserved to be happy. Which she seemed to be as she chatted with her mother and brother, always including Madison in the conversation as well.

  “So Mom says the Whiz Kid is off to medical school?”

  Madison nodded and smiled. “Yes. He’s been gone three weeks.” She turned to Alice. “He said to tell you that he misses your brownies, and if you should happen to make up a batch, I promised to send him a care package.”

  “Oh, of course I will.”

  “Fifteen and in med school,” Jarod said with a shake of his head. “Amazing.”

  “I know. I’ve had years to get used to it, but it still amazes me sometimes.” She glanced at Shannon. “Especially considering my math skills,” she said with a laugh.

  Shannon laughed too. “Of course, your mother thought you were tutoring me,” she reminded her. “How many times did she catch us?”

  Their glance held and Madison smiled at the mischievous look in Shannon’s eyes. “She only caught us…tutoring a couple of times.”

  The look that passed between them brought back plenty of memories of them doing other things that they feared her mother would catch them at. The playfulness left Shannon’s eyes and was replaced with something Madison had dearly missed.

  Desire.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “It was so good to see you and Madison together again,” her mother said as they cleaned up the kitchen.

  “Yeah?”

  “You used to be so close.”

  “Mom, please,” Shannon said. “I told you, it’s complicated.”

  Her mother nodded. “Yes. Because she’s married. I know.”

  Shannon stopped. “What do you mean?”

  “Oh, Shannon, I’m not stupid.”

  Shannon feigned ignorance. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You’ve been in love with her since you were kids,” her mother stated bluntly.

  Shannon had a moment of panic. After all these years, were they about to have “The Talk”? Jesus, she was thirty-eight years old. Was that really necessary? Well, she wanted no part of it. She turned to walk out of the kitchen, but her mother called her back.

  “Shannon?”

  She stopped, her back to her mother. “What?”

  “Don’t you think it’s time you told me?”

  Shannon swallowed nervously. “Told you what?”

  “That you’re gay.”

  Shannon dropped her chin to her chest with a silent groan. Oh my God. She slowly shook her head. “We’ve gone this long without talking about it,” she said. “I don’t know why you want to bring it up now.”

  “Why haven’t you talked to me about it?”

  Shannon turned around. “How long have you known?”

  Her mother smiled. “Always. The fact that you never dated, never talked about boys, that was a clue. You were always such a private person. But you and Madison—”

  “Madison isn’t gay,” she said quickly.

  Her mother tilted her head and smiled. “I’ve watched the two of you since you were ten years old, Shannon.”

  “Look, I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Honey, don’t you think a mother knows when her child is falling in love?”

  “Oh my God,” she muttered, feeling her face turn red. “I really don’t want to talk about this,” she said again.

  “This part of your life…why didn’t you want to share it with me?”

  Shannon shrugged. “Why didn’t you ever ask me?”

  “I figured you would tell me when you were ready. Of course, I kept getting older, you kept getting older. We avoided the subject of your personal life. That was what we did, I guess.”

  “Then maybe we should stick to that,” she suggested.

  “I won’t be around forever,” her mother said. “I want to know you’re happy.”

  “I’m happy,” she said.

  “No, you’re not. And neither is Madison.”

  “Mom, Madison is married. That’s not going to change.”

  “Mrs. Lansford was so…so demanding of her. You were so young, you probably didn’t realize how much her mother expected of her. She always had her going, going…never allowed her to just be a kid.”

  “I know. By the time Madison was in high school, our time together dwindled. I know how busy she kept her.”

  Her mother nodded. “Madison was in love with you too,” she stated.

  A fresh blush covered Shannon’s face. “Mom…please,” she said quietly.

  “No, Shannon. We’re finally talking about it after all these years. I want to know. I want to understand.”

  Oh dear God, I can’t believe this is happening. Shannon pulled out a chair from the breakfast table and sat down, resolved to meet
her fate.

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Why did Madison get married?” her mother asked as she sat down across from her.

  Shannon laughed bitterly. “Did she have a choice?”

  “I know how Mrs. Lansford is, of course, but surely even she wouldn’t force that on Madison.”

  “Everything Madison ever did in her life was dictated by her mother, as you well know,” she said. “Her marriage was a foregone conclusion.”

  Her mother shook her head slowly. “Madison always has this sad look in her eyes, still to this day. On the outside, she appears to be fine. But when you look inside, all you see is unhappiness,” she said. “Shannon, the night before her wedding, she was simply distraught. I tried to calm her. Nothing I said helped. That’s when I knew,” she said.

  “Knew what?”

  “I knew that the person she was in love with was not the one she was about to marry.”

  Shannon closed her eyes and squeezed the bridge of her nose with her fingers, wishing she was anywhere other than here having this discussion with her mother, of all people. She opened her eyes, finding her mother watching her.

  “What do you want me to say?”

  “I want you to tell me about your relationship.”

  “Oh, for God’s sake, mom, what kind of relationship can you have when you’re in high school? We were kids.”

  “Kids or not, you snuck up to her room often enough.”

  Shannon felt her face turn red for at least the third time, and she leaned her head on the table. “Seriously? We’re having that discussion?”

  “Oh, we’re both adults, what’s the big deal?”

  “You’re my mother,” Shannon said as she raised her head. “I’m thirty-eight years old,” she said again. “Isn’t it a little late to be discussing my love life?”

  “Oh, Shannon, life’s so short. I just want you to be happy, that’s all.”

  Shannon met her eyes and smiled. “I’m happy enough, Mom. I have a successful business, I’m super close with my brother and his family, I have a handful of good friends,” she said. “And now I get to spend some quality time with you.” She nodded. “I’m happy enough.”