by Lucy Rinaldi
“So, Mark,” Mark turns to look at Freddy but he doesn't move his right hand from my thigh nor his left from the back of my neck. It's quite a possessive move. “How long have you been in town? As deputy sheriff I normally know everyone.”
“Ah yes, Paige told me her brother was the deputy.” Mark smiles. “Well, I've only been here a couple of weeks. I started at the hospital as soon as I arrived. Paige and I hit it off from day one.”
Erm... no, we did not. He was an asshole to me. We've only been talking for this past three weeks. As I said before, he asked me on a date a couple times, I'd said no the first couple time, but the third time, I said yes because I was pissed off with Enzo for using me a few days before yet again.
Didn't stop him doing it again.
Mark took me to a restaurant out of town. It was pleasant enough, he was a gentleman, he made me laugh. He kissed me when he dropped me home, not passionately but softly. He left me at my front door, and before I'd even got the door open a hand came around my mouth. I screamed behind his hand, of course, even though I knew it was Enzo, it's not like he hadn't done that kind of thing to me more than once.
He pushed me inside the house, pinned me against my door and fucked me hard. He said not one word to me. Once he was done he kissed my head in a way that told me, no matter what, you'll always want me. Then he walked out of my door and left me there in a pool of my own frustrated tears.
How was that fair to me?
How is any of what he does fair to me?
I can't take this shit anymore. I honestly don't know what to do with myself. I want to tell him about our baby, but how can I when he treats me like this?
“You two look amazing together.” I look at Callie, she has a smirk on her face. Is she being sarcastic?
“I think we do.” I turn my eyes to Mark. What the hell is he doing? He's sucking up to my friends. Okay, that's not a bad thing, but still. He knows nothing can come of us, I made that clear on our first date. Maybe I shouldn't have let him kiss me, I think it gave him the wrong idea.
You think so? Maybe asking him to your parent's wedding, even as a friend, might have given him the wrong idea!
Dammit, I didn't think.
“Don't you think they look good together, Enzo?” He rolls his eyes without answering Callie. He knocks back his drink and gets out of his seat and walks away without saying anything to anyone.
“Can I have a word with you.” It wasn't a question. I nod in response. My brother kisses Della and gets out of his seat.
“I'll be back in a moment.” Mark nods and kisses my cheek.
I quickly follow Freddy. Where the hell is he going? I follow him, holding my dress by my hip, keeping it from going under my heels and tripping me over.
Freddy stops outside the restrooms and folds his arms around his chest. He's so tall I have to look up even in heels. He looks angry with me. He may not be my brother by blood but he is in my heart and I hate upsetting him in any way.
“Do you wanna tell me what the hell is going on with you and Enzo.”
“Nothing is going on with us. What are you talking about?”
“Do not treat me like an idiot, Paige.”
“I'm not.” I swallow hard and fold my arms around myself. I feel really uncomfortable.
“You think I haven't noticed the change in you two since his accident? You think none of us have noticed?”
“I'm just...”
“Don't!” He snaps making me jump. Oh yeah, he's angry. “You have three seconds to tell me the truth before I make him tell me.”
My brother is strong but Enzo is stronger, he's a goddamn fighter for Christ's sake. But when Freddy is angry he can be dangerous. I don't want them to fight they're best friends.
“Freddy, nothing is going on.”
“That's why he's had a face like a slapped backside all day! Weeks, Paige. Weeks he's been this moody fucker. Every time he sees you with that guy he snaps.” I rub my forehead with my hand. “Have you been sleeping with my best friend?”
“Please don't do this here, Freddy. This is mom and dad's day...”
“Yes or no, Paige!?” I bite my lower lip, I feel sick. I don't want him to make a scene here. I don't want to lie to him, but I won't let him and Enzo fall out and that's why I shake my head. “You're lying.”
“I'm not. I won't lie, I still have feelings for him. But he sees me as a friend, nothing more. He's moody right now because he doesn't like Mark, he thinks he's too full on. That Mark sees me as property.” I shrug.
He looks at me for a long moment before taking a step towards me. I shouldn't be lying to him, everyone is going to find out soon enough anyway. There's no way I'll be able to keep it a secret. Unless I sleep with Mark and have some kind of relationship with him. My brother take my face in his hands and tilts my head up. “You're lying,” He whispers. “I know you are.”
“Please, Freddy.” I close my eyes and tears fall from them. Everything is just too much, I just need to get away from here I can't cope anymore.
“I'm right, aren't I? You and he have been seeing each other in secret?” I nod, not really wanting to. “How long has it been going on?”
“Since just after his accident. I'm sorry, Freddy. I couldn't help it. I love him.”
He pulls me into his arms and holds me close to him. It's comforting right now. “Does he love you?” I shake my head.
I have no idea what Enzo feels for me. I know he's possessive of me, he wants me then he doesn't. But he doesn't want anyone else to have me either.
“I'm gonna kill him.”
“Please,” I pull away from him. “I am begging you, don't say anything. It's not his fault. It's mine for forever chasing him.”
“What the fuck, Paige?” He pulls me at arm's length, his eyes scanning mine.
“Nothing is ever going to happen between him and me again. I can promise you that. I'm going away tomorrow for three months. He'll be able to relax without me around pursuing him, and I'll be able to move on. Just promise me you won't say anything and let my stupid behavior ruin your friendship. Promise me, Freddy.”
“Okay. Okay.” He holds me against him again for a moment.
Fourteen
Enzo
This is completely fucked up! How could she bring that motherfucker here, flaunting him in front of me! What the fuck is she trying to do? She doesn't want him, it's written all over her fucking face. Every time he touches her she flinches. She's doing this to punish me for what I've been doing to her, for the way I've treated her.
I know I've been a self-centered cunt, only thinking about my damn self and how all of this affects me. I thought I was pushing her away because I wasn't good enough for her. But I know now that I am good enough, I was just stuck in the past. And look where it's fucking got me!
I've watched that cunt all day and the way he looks at her. Any idiot can see that he wants to fuck her, and who wouldn't, she's beautiful. I don't think she's slept with him yet, but I can tell she's going to tonight. She's given up on me, given up on us.
What the hell am I talking about, there was never any us, I saw to that. I have no one to blame for that fact she's moved on but myself.
She looks stunning in that dress, every curve of her body is emphasized, her tattoos on show. Arms, leg, ankles, shoulder. My dick has been hard all damn day. I've hardly been able to take my eyes off of her all day. Even with Dr. fuck face all over her.
I knock back another scotch. My fucking ankle is aching because I tore that damn cast off. It was irritating the fuck outta me.
I had to leave the table, I couldn't stand watching his hands all over the girl who should have been mine by now. I came over to the bar like a sad fucking loser, knocking back liquor like an alcoholic.
“Think you missed your chance?” Chase Braxton is a friend of mine. My sister-in-law saved his wife's life a couple times. Emilee is the one Dr. psycho was after when he attacked Callie and almost killed her.
I don't blame
Emilee for what happened, no one does. It wasn't her fault. My brother thinks a lot of Emilee and Chase, have to admit, I like them too.
“My chance at what, Chase?” I don't look at him, I'm too busy staring at myself through the mirror behind the huge bar. I look like I've fucking aged all of a sudden.
“Your chance at being with Paige. I know you love her, man, it's written all over your face. Has been since the day I met you.”
“That transparent, am I?”
He chuckles. “Yeah. You are. There's nothing wrong with you being together, Enzo. If you were together Freddy would get used to it fast. The only thing standing in your way is yourself.”
I notice Paige following Freddy across the room. Her head is hanging down. I guess he's realized something is going on with us and wants to give her the talk. Meaning he'll be coming for me next. Not before I've spoken to her, he won't. I want to know once and for all if there could be anything between us. Something real. I love her, I really fucking do. If I've lost her, I don't know what I'll do.
“Tell her before it's too late, Enzo.”
“And if it's already too late?”
He gives me a slight smile, slaps me on the back and walks away.
As soon as the chance arises, I'll make her tell me what the hell is going on with her and that Dr. piece of shit! I want him gone, she's mine! But if she tells me that she no longer wants me, I swear I'll walk away for good. I'll let her have the life she wants, either with him or someone else.
Nah, I've changed my mind. She ain't being with him, I'll kill him first!
Fifteen
Paige
A little dancing with my mom, dad, sister, brother, friends. A lot of teasing me for not drinking alcohol. Even though they know I'm not a big drinker. Even if I could do with a bottle of vodka or two right now.
Right now, drinking isn't something I should be doing. Not until I've made a decision at least. That and I wouldn't while on a date with Dr. Mark Sloan. Who I might add has charmed my mother no end.
“He's amazing, darling. And you look so good together.”
“Thanks, mom.” If I'm going to do this then I have to let people believe he and I have something special, even if there is no spark whatsoever between us. Well, not for me at least. I don't even know what to do yet, so why would I even be thinking having a relationship with him is a good idea?
“Bob and I are about to leave. Freddy is taking care of Layah for us, and you take care out there in LA. I'm going to miss you. Call every day.”
“I'll miss you too, mom. And I will, I promise.” I hug her tightly followed by Bob.
We all wave them off as they set off for their honeymoon in Paris. My mom didn't want to leave Layah but Freddy assured my mom that nothing would happen to her while he's still breathing. It took a while, but she eventually agreed. Freddy then paid for our parent's honeymoon as a wedding present. Much to our parent's joy.
Mark offers to take me home and I agree, I'm exhausted and I just want to take a hot bath and go to bed. I tell him I'm just going to the restroom before we leave. I have to pee so much just lately that it's driving me crazy. I'm not sure that's even normal at this stage. But then, I'm thirsty all of the time, so that may have something to do with it.
I wash my hands and dry them on a paper towel after peeing. I then take a deep breath. I have so much on my mind it just seems never ending.
“Mind telling me what you think you're doing.”
I scream and turn full circle. What the fuck? “What the hell, Enzo? You almost gave me a heart attack!” My heart is literally beating ten times faster than is normal! How could he sneak up on me like that? “Why are you sneaking up on me?”
“Why did you bring that jackass here?”
“Because he's my date.”
“You don't even like him, Paige.”
“Yes, I do,” I say proudly while folding my arms around my body. He's too intimidating when he's in this mood. And I'm powerless against him. He snaps his fingers and I drop to my knees before him. Literally. He has so much power over me that I don't know who I am any longer. “He and I have a lot in common. Now if you don't mind, he's taking me home.”
“You gonna sleep with him?” He takes a step toward me and I take one back. I don't want to do this here. I just don't have the strength to fight him. But I'm so emotionally exhausted that I just can't take anymore. He was right, he's bad for me. He's breaking my heart a little every day, but I don't know how much is left for him to break.
He's right in front of me, his hands pressed against the wall beside my head. “Please don't do this, Enzo.”
“Answer me.”
“Yes,” I answer as strongly as I can. His body tenses, his eyes close, and his jaw clicks. He's angry, but I don't understand why. “I can't keep doing this. You once told me that I was worth more than what Kyle thought of me. You have to know that I am worth more than what you think of me.”
“Don't tarnish me with his brush, Paige.”
“How can I not, Enzo? You fuck me, you walk away from me. You tell me to move on, I try, you get like this... All possessive and angry. What the hell do you want from me?!” He doesn't say anything he just looks at me. He seems confused. How many times am I going to let him do this to me? “You treat me like a piece of meat.”
“What the hell? I do not treat you like...”
“Yes!” I cut him off. “Yes, you do. You know how I feel about you. You know and you use it against me to keep me in line.”
“Paige, that is not true.” He looks shocked, hurt maybe. But it is true, can't he see that?
“Yes, it is. You don't want me but you don't want anyone else to have me either. Why aren't I good enough for you?” Tears are pricking my eyes again and I'm not sure I can stop them falling. “I try so hard to be what you want me to be. I am always there for you, I do everything and anything you ask of me. Yet it's never good enough. Am I not smart enough, thin enough? Am I not pretty enough? What, Enzo? Please tell me so I can fix it.”
“You think I want you to change for me?”
“Don't you?” I ask quietly, my voice thick with emotion.
He steps back from me, and I'm glad because I'm trying so hard not to throw up here. I could tell him my secret, I could tell him and he'd either be with me or walk away. But I don't think I could face either. I'd die if he walked away from me for good, and I would never want him to be with me just because he felt like he had to be. I want him to be with me because he wants to be, because maybe he loves me the way I love him.
Yeah, not going to happen, Paige.
He grips the washbasin and hangs his head. “Go to your man, Paige. Let him take you home. Go have a relationship with him and have the life you deserve. Get as far away from me as you can.”
I close my eyes and clasp my hand over my mouth. I don't want to cry in front of him. I don't want to look weak or make him think he should... Never mind. I have to get out of here, I can't do this anymore.
I don't say anything to him. I just wipe my eyes, smooth down my hair and dress, take a deep breath and leave the room. I sensed he wanted to say something to me, but what's left to say? He doesn't want me and nothing I say or do will ever change his mind. I'm done being his plaything. Time to move on...
* * *
What am I doing? Enzo breaks my heart so I invite a man into my home to pin me against the wall and do what? I stupidly let Mark in when he asked if we could have coffee. It's late and I knew he meant he wanted to sleep with me. Of course, we only got through the door before he pinned me to the wall beside it, kissing me like a starving man. His mouth is on my neck right now, he hands squeezing my aching breasts. Aching but not from arousal.
He mumbles something against my skin and all I can do is ball my hands up in fists by my sides, close my eyes and let the frustrated tears fall. I have never felt so used and unwanted by anyone in my life. I really thought he liked me. I thought maybe deep down he even loved me. But Enzo doesn't love me, he never
has and he never will love me.
“Shall we go upstairs?”
I tilt my head to the side, the vibrations of his voice sent shivers of disgust through me. It's not Mark's fault. He hasn't done anything wrong. It's me, I'm ruined for anybody but Lorenzo Ryker.
I know a lot of women decide to sleep with another man so they can pin their pregnancy on him. Whatever their reasons for doing that, it's their reasons. But I can't bring myself to do it. I feel like a cheap whore, and I don't want that. I don't want to sleep with Mark and pass my baby off as his. I want Enzo to know his child... When the time is right.
“Maybe we shouldn't do this.”
He sighs and pulls away from me. “Why are you such a fucking prick tease?” He snaps.
My mouth hangs open in shock. “What the hell, Mark. I am not a prick tease. That's not what I'm doing here.”
“Come off it, Paige. You've been doing exactly that since the day I met you.”
“I haven't. I'm sorry if that's the way I came across to you...” I scream involuntarily when he grabs my upper arms and angrily pushes me back against the wall. Oh my god, what the hell? “Let go of me, Mark!”
“I'm sick of you flirting with me, working me up, and then giving me the brush off!” He hisses through his teeth while shaking me. His fingers are digging into my arms painfully. “You can get on your knees and suck my dick, it's the least you can do.”
“In your dreams. Get your fucking hands off me!”
Why do men have to blindside you and hit you with the back of their hand? It really fucking hurts! I can hardly see and I think I've sprained my wrist trying to break my fall, not to mention my hip is on fire. I really landed hard. I'm not the typical skinny girl and falling when you have a little weight on your bones hurts!
I scream as he grabs my hair and pulls me onto my knees in front of him. I can't use my left wrist but there's nothing wrong with my right. I hit out at him, trying frantically to get away from him. But he's tearing my hair out, so much so I can feel my scalp bleeding. Is he really going to scalp me? Because seriously, that's how it feels.