by Lucy Rinaldi
I whimper as he opens the zip on his pants. “Now, you're gonna be a good girl and do as you're told, aren't you?”
“I swear to God if you put that thing anywhere near my mouth I'll bite it off. And I'll call the police. Have you forgotten who my brother is?”
He laughs sardonically. “Paige, Paige, Paige. Does it look like I care who your brother is? I am a well-respected doctor. What makes you think anyone will believe you?”
“The fact everyone in this town knows me. I swear, they'll run you out of town if Enzo doesn't kill you first!” Enzo. God how I wish he was here with me right now.
Mark's eyes darken, his hand tightens in my hair. And I know deep inside I'm not going to get out of this. I can fight to the death but he's going to assault me one way or another. I have no one to blame for this but myself.
* * *
I've been sitting with my phone in my hand for half an hour. I think I'm in shock, I don't know what to do. My head really hurts, it's still bleeding. It hurts too much to touch. My jaw hurts, and so do my hands. I've broken a few nails. I don't know what to do, I can't cry, I can't speak, I can't move. I need to call somebody. I need help, but I'm too ashamed.
Who can I call?
My mom isn't here. My brother is taking care of my little sister and I don't want to frighten her. Which also means I can't call Della. I think most of my friends will be home with the partners and children by now, probably in bed.
In the past, I wouldn't have hesitated to call Enzo, but I can't do that now. I have no one to help me and I'm so scared. I fought back, I fought back really hard. I gave him a few injuries of his own. And I am going to report him to the police. There is no way on this earth that son-of-a-bitch is going to get away with what he's done to me. But can I really involve anyone else?
I know I'm going to have to tell Sheriff Harper everything, and that's going to be hard enough, but I don't think I can repeat what happened to Freddy. Everyone is going to find out what happened to me. How could Mark not realize that?
I really need to make myself get up, I have to go to the hospital. I'm a nurse and I know I have injuries that need looking at. He didn't rape me. I suppose that's one thing I can be grateful for. But I need them to check for DNA, skin under my fingernails and such. I may feel ashamed but I have to do it. I can't let that bastard do this to someone else.
If my mother taught me anything in this life it's to never let a man get away with hurting you. If you do, he will do it to someone else.
Shakily, I scroll through my contact list, if anybody knows what it's like to be attacked it's Callie. But can I put her through this after everything she's been through in her life? I really want to call Della, she's my very best friend, but she's married to my brother and I can't have him see me like this.
“Hello?” She's still at the party, I can hear the music.
“C-Callie... um... how-how's the party?”
“Hey!” She sounds so happy. “It's great. Winding down now, there's just a handful of us left.” She giggles. “Is everything okay? I thought you'd be fucking the night away with Dr. Mark.”
“No,” I'm trying to sound strong, but right now, I don't feel it.
“Paige,” Her tone is suddenly serious. “What's wrong? Has he done something to you?”
I'm quiet for a moment. I don't know how to tell her that I need her help. I never ask anyone for anything. I'm strong, I don't get myself in situations like this, ever.
“Paige, tell me what he's done right now!”
“He...” I swallow hard. “He... I...” Then I hear his voice, Enzo. He's there with her, asking her what's wrong. Shit, I can't tell her when she's with him. “It doesn't matter. I'll see you later.” I end the call quickly and drop my phone beside me and cry into my hands, all the time my phone ringing like crazy...
Sixteen
Enzo
“What did she say, Cal?” I'm anxious, desperate even. Something is really wrong. Callie took a weird call from Paige and she's been trying to call her back for the past few minutes.
“Shit, she won't answer me!”
“Baby, calm down.”
“Don't tell me to calm down, Hudson. Something happened to her. I could hear it in her voice. And there's a reason she called me and not Della. She knew Del would tell Freddy. So whatever happened to her, she doesn't want him to know. And by the way, she slammed the phone down, I'd say she doesn't want you to know either.” She says to me. I narrow my eyes. “I asked her why she wasn't fucking the night away with Mark.”
His name and the thought of him touching Paige like that is like a knife twisting in my gut. I hate that fucking cunt!
“What did she say?” My brother asks.
“Nothing, she must have heard Enzo's voice and put the phone down. I need to get over there, Hudson.”
“I'm coming with you.”
“No, you're not!” She snaps at me. She's right in my face all of a sudden. “If he's hurt her, I'll kill you!”
“The fuck?”
“You think we don't know about you two? You think we don't know you've been screwing her and then dumping her because you're too fucking chicken shit to actually be with her?”
I roll my shoulders and push my hands into my pockets. Of course, I knew people would work out what had been going on between Paige and me, I'm not stupid. No, I am stupid, I never should have touched her. I knew that yet I couldn't stop myself. The more I had of her the more I needed. And it was just never enough. It will never be enough.
“She wouldn't have even been with that man if you'd have just told her how you feel.”
“Enzo, please tell me you didn't.”
I roll my eyes at my brother. I don't need this right now, I need to get to Paige. “We don't have time for this right now, Sonny. I need to get to Paige. And save your breath, Callie, I'm going.” She huffs but follows me along with my brother.
We get to Paige's faster than anticipated but slower than I'd like. I'm about to knock when Callie grabs my arm, she has a key. Hell, I have a key but not with me. Paige gave it to me a couple of weeks ago when I insisted that she did. I needed to make sure I could get to her should she need me.
Fuck me, she needed me tonight, dammit!
Callie opens the door, it's dark inside. “Paige!” She calls. “Paige, where are you?!” She waves her hand behind her, indicating for Hudson and me to hang back. I don't wanna hang back I want to run through the house and find her. She has to be here! “You guys check down here, I'll look upstairs.”
“I don't think she's here, bro.”
“She's here.” I look down at my feet, there's evidence of a struggle, blood on the floor. “Somebody's hurt, there's blood on the floor.”
“Hudson!” Callie screaming my brother's name sends my blood cold.
We both run up the stairs and into the en suite bathroom in Paige's bedroom. My heart sinks to my feet. I feel like all the air has been knocked out of me. My lungs feel tight, too tight for me to breath.
Paige is slumped against the bath. Her head buried in her knees, her arms around her shins, her hair a mess, blood dripping down her hairline. She's barefoot, her hands have cuts on them, some of her nails are broken, evidence of her fighting back, and her dress is a mess.
What the hell happened to her?
I watch in shock as my brother and his wife talk calmly to Paige. I can't cope, my heart is breaking inside my chest. This happened because we argued, because she felt like I was using her, that I didn't want her, that I didn't even find her attractive. I should never have touched her, she was safer when I didn't. But I can't deny my heart any longer.
I can't let this take me under, even though I'm going to kill that son-of-a-bitch. I need to be there for Paige, she needs to know that I love her. My god, I love her.
“Sweetheart, tell me what he did to you.” Callie's voice is soothing but Paige is shaking her head.
“Paige?” Her head shoots up and again the wind is knocked out of me. What th
e fuck did that bastard do to her? Her face is a mess, she has a huge black bruise on her cheek, her lips are swollen and her eyes are puffy, but I suspect that's from crying so hard. She looks so shocked to see me.
Her lip quivers, her eyes so full of tears and I'm trying so hard to hold mine back. I get to my knees in front of her. I cup her face and she bursts into tears. My brother scoots out of the way and I pull her into me. She clings to me, her face buried in my chest as she cries. “I'm gonna take her to the hospital. Take your wife home.”
“I'm going with her. There's no way on earth I'm leaving her. You go home. You're no one to her now!” This bitch is fucking pissing me off big time!
“No, please!” Paige pulls on my jacket. I turn my eyes to her. “Please don't leave me.”
“I'm not leaving you. Not for a second, I promise.” I lift her into my arms as I get to my feet. “You have your answer. Go home or come with us, Callie. But I'll thank you to keep your mouth shut about what I feel for Paige because you have no idea!”
I don't give her chance to respond, I walk out of that house and place Paige in the passenger seat of my car. She winces, but I kiss her head letting her know I'm here for her.
Seventeen
Paige
Jade's hands are cold, they make me shiver as she traces the bruises on my inner thighs. They sting, Mark really dug his fingers into my flesh when he tried to rape me. Because that's what he did when he couldn't get me to suck his cock. Yes, he did manage to get my mouth open and shove it down my throat, but I fought him on it. Doesn't make what he did any less disgusting.
Enzo brought me here to the hospital. He was made to leave the room while Jade and Angela, two nurses I work with here, check me over.
I'm kind of numb, to be honest. It still doesn't seem real. Mark didn't seem the type that would hurt anyone. But how can a person really tell what another is truly like or capable of?
I've done these checks on women before, but I never realized how truly invasive they were until now. I always had compassion for those women who were hurt like this, no one ever deserves to have something so precious taken from them. Every woman has the right to say no, and every man because it happens to them too, more than people would realize.
I guess I just never really understood how humiliating and painful all of this actually is. Not just the attack, but all the checks from nurses and doctors, talking to the police, family, and friends finding out, and then, of course, everyone else finding out. The talk of the town I will be after this. Nothing stays secret for long in this town.
I guess it's true what they say, you'll never know until it happens to you.
Nothing shocks you more than hearing this, though, “Did you know you were pregnant, Paige?”
For a while there I'd forgotten all about my pregnancy. I haven't found the right time to tell Enzo about it. The truth is, I stalled because I don't know how he'll react. Charlie might not have been biologically his, but he loved her so much. I know he's scared of losing someone else that he loves, and he will love this baby. But I'm scared he'll distance himself to protect himself from getting hurt. I never want my child to feel less than because its father can't open his heart and let love in.
In all honesty, I think that's maybe why he hurts me the way he does. He won't allow himself to love me in case he loses me. It's kinda sad really.
“Yes,” I answer honestly. “I'm still pregnant?”
“You are,” Dr. Johnstone tells me. “Very newly pregnant” Well, Duh!
“I thought I might have lost it.” I really did there for a moment. The fact I haven't, makes me cry to myself. Not because I'm sad, but because I'm so relieved.
“No,” He smiles. “But get some rest, you both need it.”
I nod slowly.
“Can I get you anything?”
Jade's sympathy just makes me feel worse. It's not her fault, this is exactly the way I'd speak to a woman in my position. It's a nurse's natural instinct to be kind and try and make their patients lives that much more simple. People in this situation need kindness. But it's only now I realize that maybe letting them know you're there for them while backing off until they're ready to ask for your help is better.
“No,” I tell her while climbing into bed and allowing her to adjust the covers over my stomach. “Just send Freddy in so I can get this over with.” She nods and leaves the room.
I cannot believe I'm going to have to tell my brother of all people what happened to me. I feel so sick it's unreal. And I can't even believe Callie called him!
But then, she called her father so he was bound to call my brother. I'm not angry with anyone, I'm ashamed of me.
Freddy walks through the door a moment later with Sydney and Keller Harper. My best friends mother is the last person I thought would be here. Keller's the sheriff so it's obvious he would be.
“Sydney thought it might be a good idea if she was here while we chat.”
“I don't really want to do this, Freddy. You're my brother.” My deputy police officer brother. He might be wearing his uniform, but right now, he's just Freddy, my brother.
“Yes, I am your brother, and as your brother, I will not let that bastard get away with what he's done to you!”
Tears fall from my eyes, Sydney wipes them away with a tissue while taking my hand in her other. It's comforting to know she's here. I wish my own mother was, but she's halfway to her honeymoon right now. Sydney's the next best thing.
God, my mom, she's going to be so heartbroken when she finds out what happened to me.
Keller takes his notebook and pen from his top pocket and poises the pen to paper. “Why don't you start at the beginning?” He tells me kindly.
Each person listens as I tell them what happened. Sydney encourages me to carry on when I feel like I can't. And yes, it's beyond hard to not cry when my brother hisses a breath each time I explain how Mark forced himself into my mouth, when he held me down and tore off my panties, how he touched me there and almost raped me. But I manage it, I manage to tell them everything.
But having to go over the details, again and again, is hard. So very fucking hard. I'm so tired, I just want to sleep, but Keller won't allow me to until he's gone through everything I've told him with a fine tooth comb.
“Please, can we finish tomorrow?” I practically beg him.
“We're almost done, sweetheart. You're doing so well.” He smiles encouragingly.
I don't want to do this anymore but I will. I have to if I want Mark caught for what he did to me. All I can think about is if he's done this kind of thing to another woman, and if he has, how the hell has he gotten away with it?
Or, am I the first girl he did this to? If I am, what was it about me that made him attack me the way he did? Was it my fault? Did I lead him on?
The thoughts keep swimming through my head long after the Harper's have left, long after Freddy has gone home to Della. Even after Enzo refused to let me go home alone and brought me back to his house, the thoughts just won't leave me alone.
In my dreams, I see Mark looming over me, ready to attack me. Only this time, I can't stop him and he rapes me, strangles and kills me. I'm going to be thinking about this for a very long time to come. But I won't let it define me, I'm stronger than all of this... I hope.
Eighteen
Enzo
Five hours of doctors, tests, police and statement giving, Paige is finally asleep in my bed. I refused to take her back to that house. That son-of-a-bitch assaulted her, he fucking beat her before he forced her onto her knees and tried to make her... I can't even... I'm gonna fucking kill him, there is no doubt about that. I've got a couple of people looking for him. He's skipped town, but there is nowhere he can hide from me. I'll find him and when I do...
I don't know how many shocks I'm supposed to have in any one lifetime, but I think I've had more than my fair share tonight. She's been keeping something major from me, something that will change both of our lives forever. Something I told myself
I would never put myself through again. I don't know how to feel about it.
Why didn't she tell me?
I don't even know if she knows. She was out of it when the doctor told me. I got a massive fucking lecture from Callie, and she threatened to tell Freddy who arrived a few moments later with the sheriff to talk to Paige.
I don't even care anymore. He's gonna find out sooner or later. But it needs to come from me. Thankfully my brother made her see that.
I can't let anything happen to her again. I can't live without her, it's as simple as that. She's my life, my world, my whole heart, and I think it's high-time I told her.
I lay my hand protectively over her flat stomach. My child is in there. And this time, I know it's mine, there is no doubt in my mind about that. I'd convinced myself that I didn't want children, that I'd never put myself through the hurt of losing another. But I didn't lose this baby, I didn't lose Paige, they're right here with me where they belong.
I'm gonna have a fight on my hands to make her understand that she belongs with me, that I love her and I'm so fucking sorry for everything I've done to her. If I'm lucky, she'll forgive me. If not, I'll spend the rest of my damn life making it up to her if I have to.
But if she's adamant that she doesn't want me anymore then I'll let her go. But there's no way I'll let my child go, I'll be the biggest part of its life. I won't be one of those dad's who does fuck all for their kid. I'll do everything for mine.
Paige will see how much I mean what I say and she'll come back to me eventually. No matter what I have to do, I'll do it. I would walk over hot fucking coals in hell if she asked it of me.
“I can't let you go, Paige.” I snuggle into her. Snuggle. How dumb do I sound? But that's exactly what I do, snuggle into her.