What he found, which did not surprise him, was tension out of alignment with the relaxing environment they had entered hours ago.
Letting the energy guide him, he moved his hands along her jaw bone and allowed his fingertips to form a V over her throat chakra. This position allowed the energy to strengthen her self-expression and communication, something he knew she struggled with.
Wanting also to encourage balance, he straightened his fingers and shifted his hands so his palms were over her temples.
When he felt that the energy was more balance, he brought his hands into a namaskar and closed the energy connection, taking a moment to balance his own energy through breathing and mindfulness.
“Wow, that was intense,” Heather said as he sat down, stretching her neck to one side, then the other. “What was that?”
“That was Reiki. Are you familiar with the practice?” he asked.
“I’ve heard of it, but I’m not sure exactly what it does.”
“It is a Japanese practice of channeling energy. Well, it’s a little more complex than that, but as you can feel, it is powerful. The therapy treats your whole person, body, emotions, spirit, and is a great method for achieving relaxation.”
“How come you don’t offer this at your studio?” she asked.
The music started once again, Haven now realizing the musician had taken a break. He waved the server over and ordered another chardonnay, Heather ordering the same. “I’ve only just begun studying it. Honestly, you are the first person I have done this with. I’ve been learning by doing the practice on myself.”
“I feel so different, relaxed,” she said, in awe by the quick transformation.
“I focused only on a couple areas. In practice, I would do a body scan, become familiar with how energy flowed within all your chakras, and then let the energy guide me to where you needed balance and healing. This mini session was just a quick fix, so to speak.”
“I really needed that. Any time you need someone to practice on, I’m your girl.”
Haven liked the idea of having someone other than himself to practice and learn from, but practicing therapy on Heather intrigued him. While Reiki wasn’t intimate in the romantic sense, it was in a different way, and because his interest in her held equal measures of spiritual knowledge and intimate desires, his heart kicked up a few beats at just the thought of exploring her body’s energy.
The server delivered their drinks and Haven held his up, both of them saying, “Cheers,” as their glasses dinged in perfect harmony.
“Do you want to talk about why you were so tense?” he asked. Heather possessed an intense inner strength. He felt that energy whenever she was near, but she wasn’t one to open up. She always smiled, put on a brave face, so to speak, even when her energy communicated something other than happiness.
“I’m not sure,” she said, but the words contradicted the energy passing between them. She practically vibrated with it, as if her truth was fighting its way out and a part of her was fighting just as hard to keep it locked up.
“I don’t believe that. Are you worried about the retreat? I know how much work you put into this, how important it is for everything to be perfect. You need to stop worrying and enjoy it, be in the moment Heather, not trapped in a future that doesn’t need you to control its outcome. Everything will be just as it was meant to be.”
“It’s not the retreat, its…” her words dropped off and she took a long drink of the chardonnay. Haven wondered how it tasted on her lips, on her tongue, and had to take a deep breath to ground himself in the moment rather than the fantasy of kissing her beautiful mouth.
“You can tell me, Heather. Anything. I don’t judge, I hope you know that. Speaking your truth will help you enjoy this retreat. If you keep it locked away, stress will rule your experience and you will have missed an opportunity to free yourself from whatever is holding you back.”
“I,” she hesitated, taking a deep breath before looking him straight in the eye. Her eyes were dark again, holding onto her secret. Haven smiled in encouragement, hoping she trusted him enough to share. “I have a huge crush on you, and Zoe and Cat are trying to play matchmaker, and I know it’s inappropriate because you’re my master — oh, that sounds bad — teacher, right, you’re my teacher and I don’t ever ramble around men, but you make me nervous and why are you smiling like that?”
He was already sitting close enough to touch her, so instead of pausing and making a mindful decision about what to do next, he trusted his instincts, his hand cupping her jaw, thumb stroking her cheek. Not wanting to let the moment pass, he leaned in, brushing his lips against hers, the caress a question, and her sweet little sigh the answer he sought.
Angling his lips away before the kiss turned to something that should be shared in privacy and not a public area of the ship, he rested his forehead against hers, his eyes opening first, watching as hers fluttered open. “Did you do that to shut me up?” she asked.
Haven shook his head. He should tell her that he had wanted to kiss her for months, confess that he’d channeled energy into her throat chakra to open up communication, but now it seemed like a self-serving manipulation, something that went against his beliefs and practice.
Instead of admitting how he felt, he decided self-preservation was best for both of them. He was sharing a room with her, a very small room, and that situation was intimate enough without him crossing the line as her spiritual guide. “I need to meditate,” he offered, licking his lips to get one last taste of her before he turned and rushed away.
CHAPTER 4
Heather’s head was still spinning from the kiss, but watching Haven run away threw her completely off balance.
She sat before falling, taking another long sip of the wine and realizing there wasn’t going to be enough of it to get her through this first night at sea…and they hadn’t even left port yet. She tried to quiet her mind, but the noise from the casino and the musician, and all the people, it compounded the crazy thoughts. The moment required mindful reflection, but that was a concept Heather had never mastered. Her mind liked to wander. Back in the days when she was programming, she’d write code even in her dreams. Since leaving the tech world, she still struggled to quiet her mind, always filling her thoughts with events of the day or worries for the future, sometimes thinking of what job she should try next, but usually fantasizing about being back in tech, only living the dream instead of the nightmare she’d left behind.
Now, her mind was consumed with how stupid she’d been. This is why she’d stopped using the direct approach with men, it never worked. She wasn’t sure if it intimidated them to have a woman be so direct and assertive or if they just preferred to take the lead, run the show, control the game. Heather had grown tired of playing the game, but it seemed she was right back in the midst of it with Haven.
He ran off to meditate. That was probably a better idea than indulging in more wine, something Heather rarely did. She could blame the wine for her head spinning — not Haven’s kiss — but that would be a lie.
Meditation was a good idea. She hadn’t mastered mindful reflection, but that didn’t mean she shouldn’t try it now. She couldn’t go back to the room, Haven might be there, so she headed toward the stairs to hit one of the upper decks. Maybe she’d just take in the view.
Making her way up and out, Heather recited her mantra over and over. You got this. You own this. You are unstoppable. The words helped ground her. At the back of the ship, she perched along the rail and realized the ship was getting ready to leave port. She hadn’t wanted to miss this, so took a moment to be grateful for the timing of everything that transpired instead of fretting over it. Heather had imagined sharing this moment with Haven, but that option sank into the depths of the dark water with her foolish proclamation.
“Heather, hey, why are you alone?” Heather recognized Cat’s voice and turned to find her standing with Zoe.
“Haven went to meditate,” she explained. Trying to ignore the p
uzzling looks, Heather turned back to the water. The two women squeezed in on either side of her, their inquisitive glances throwing Heather over the edge. “Long story short, I basically told him I like him, he kissed me, then he ran off.”
The two women gasped and giggled. “He kissed you?” Zoe asked, the excitement reflecting what Heather had felt when Haven’s lips first pressed to hers. Then reality checked back in.
“Clearly it was horrifying since he ran off to meditate,” Heather corrected.
“You don’t know that,” Zoe said. “Maybe he had a, you know, reaction…”
“A below the waist reaction,” Cat said, nudging Heather with her elbow.
“Someone like Haven, who has his Zen thing going on all the time, wouldn’t know what to do if he lost control of his body like that,” Zoe added.
“You probably threw him off center. You know how he’s always preaching to find your center,” Cat explained, making Heather dizzy with the tag team.
Off center would be fine except for one thing. “He’s also always encouraging us to ground ourselves in the moment,” Heather responded.
“Like Zoe said, you rocked his Zen, threw him off balance. I’ve been working for Haven for two years and never once have I seen him with a girlfriend or heard of him dating. There’s lots of speculation, but it’s all just rumors, nothing solid. He might just be out of practice.”
Haven didn’t kiss like he was out of practice. Like everything else he did, he had kissing mastered. Heather’s lips still tingled from their brief connection.
“What rumors?” Heather asked.
“Well, I’ve heard rumors that he’s gay, but I straight up asked him once and he said no. I’ve also heard that he was married and butchered his wife into little pieces and now he’s trying to find peace with what he did, but I don’t buy that. I’ve dated plenty of guys who were serial killer material, and Haven doesn’t fall into that category.”
“Have you dated Haven?” Heather asked, because even though she hadn’t heard rumors about the man, she’d heard plenty about Cat.
“Oh, no, I never pee where I sleep. I like working for Haven, and he’s adorable, but no, I would never date him.”
Brandon and Tamarra stumbled over to them, the two of them wrapped around each other as if they’d been tied in a knot. “Oh hey, we just ran into Haven by the poolside bar. He’s looking for you,” Tamarra said to Heather while Brandon nuzzled her neck.
“So much for meditating,” Zoe mumbled with a chuckle.
“He probably figured out how to ground himself in the moment and wants to finish what he started,” Cat said, waggling her brow.
“We should go meditate, baby,” Brandon said against Tamarra’s ear, a big smile illuminating her face. Jealousy gave Heather a not so subtle jab in the gut as she imagined herself wrapped up with Haven like them, him whispering all kinds of suggestive things in her ear.
Before she could push it aside, a shiver raced through her. “You need to go find him,” Cat encouraged, but Heather was thinking now would be the perfect time to return to her room and fall asleep, or at least fake it, so she didn’t have to face Haven again tonight.
With the ship pushing back from the dock, conversation lulled, but not Brandon and Tamarra’s flirting. Heather wanted what they had, the easy affection, the shared look of love as they couldn’t pull their gazes from each other. With a sigh, Heather turned and looked out over the water, bidding farewell to San Juan and any hope she had of a tropical tryst with Haven.
CHAPTER 5
Heather began to stretch in an effort to push the sleep out of her weary body, only to stop short when she felt the weight of something down her leg, and the press of something else against her butt.
She’d been horrified last night when she returned to the cabin and found the giant bed hadn’t been separated. The room steward was nowhere to be found, and Heather didn’t want to risk having to face Haven, so she opted just go with it, get in her pajamas, and try to sleep. Still awake when Haven came in some time later, she ignored him whispering her name, asking if she was awake, and hoped her fake sleep breathing was enough to convince him.
Now, with his body pressed against hers, his arm stretching down her leg, and a very obvious erection sending a thrill and an unhealthy dose of need through her, she had no idea how to discreetly ease out of bed without waking him and making this all the more awkward.
Haven took a deep breath, as if he too was coming awake, his body stretching against hers and increasing the contact. He let out a little moan, his fingers caressing her thigh. “You smell so good,” he whispered, nuzzling her neck through her hair.
Was he still sleeping? How had he gone from kissing her to running away, to nuzzling her neck and other parts? “Haven?” she whispered, hoping that would prompt him to wake up and check back in with reality.
She knew the moment he realized just where he was because his long, deep breaths stopped. For several long beats, there was silence and stillness, his fingers no longer tracing enticing patterns across her skin.
“Heather?” he finally breathed, his fingers pressing into her flesh, firm but gentle and just as erotic as the caress.
“I’m awake,” she admitted.
“I—” but his words got hung up. She knew he must be embarrassed, at least hoped she wasn’t the only one warring with how to handle the situation.
“It’s fine. I get it. I know men often wake up this way. It has nothing to do with me, it’s just something that happens.”
“If you’re referring to my current state of arousal, it’s got everything to do with you.”
Those words sent a shiver of ecstasy up her spine and down her legs, causing her body to clench with desire. Haven groaned again when her butt pressed more firmly against him as a reaction to the shiver. “Sorry,” she whispered, unsure if she should slide away from him or remain still so she didn’t have to face him.
“I’m the one who should be apologizing. Running off last night, then accosting your body like this, it’s not who I am, Heather, at least not anymore.”
She really didn’t mind him accosting her body, after all, she’d manipulated the travel arrangements in hopes something like this would happen, but the running away after he’d kissed her still nagged at her ego. “I put you on the spot last night. I’ve learned how to keep my impulses under lock and key, thanks to your class, but I guess the sea air and sun got to me yesterday.”
“Acting on your impulses isn’t always a bad thing. In fact, sometimes it can be good, but I don’t want to take advantage of you or our situation.”
How could he think he was taking advantage of her? She was the one trying to take advantage of him. “You’re not taking advantage,” she assured him, not ready to confess her own manipulation.
“I used to be impulsive, before I started on my journey to enlightenment. I hurt a lot of people, women. I don’t want to hurt you. I needed to meditate last night because I didn’t want to act on my impulses.”
But she wanted him to act on his impulses. If that kiss was an indication of anything, then he liked her as much as she liked him. It seemed ridiculous to keep dancing around the subject and treat it like the big elephant in the room. Turning, she made sure to grind her butt against him just a little, hoping to tease the self-control right out of him. “What about now?” she asked, her fingers tracing down his strong arm. “Do you want to act on your impulses now?”
Not waiting for an answer, she kissed him this time, hoping she wouldn’t regret letting her assertive side off its leash. Without hesitation, Haven’s arm went around her, pulling her right up against his body beneath the sheet and comforter. He wore only shorts, her fingers finding his bare chest, her palms loving the scrape of the thin layer of hair across his firm muscles.
Heather threw her leg over his, desperate to increase the connection and to encourage his hand to wander and explore. Obeying the silent command, his hand moved down her back and over her butt before slidi
ng down her thigh and gripping her knee. He pulled her leg further over his, and she moaned a little when he ground his erection against her very core.
A quiet jingle invaded the moment and Haven sighed, his tongue withdrawing from its hot exploration of her mouth as his forehead came to rest against hers. Heather opened her eyes to find his still closed. The jingle grew progressively louder and she realized it must be an alarm on his phone.
“We have yoga,” she sighed, remembering the schedule she had so meticulously planned for this retreat.
“I have an obligation to my mystics,” he said, as if she needed an explanation. His eyes opened, the irises bright blue despite the dim light of the room. “And we have a busy day, but please say you’ll have dinner with me tonight.”
The schedule was clear in her mind and tonight the dinner reservations were fully booked. “You already have dinner plans,” she reminded him.
“A walk on deck under the moonlight after dinner then?”
It sounded so romantic and exactly what she’d hoped for.
“Yes,” she said, earning a beautiful smile from the man holding her.
HAVEN WOULD HAVE PREFERRED to stay in bed with Heather all day and not just finish what they started, but spend the day getting to know each other in the most intimate way possible. They still had the night to look forward to. The feel of Heather’s body against his, the way her hair smelled like an ocean breeze, the softness of her skin under his fingers, the way she tasted.
He wanted to taste more of her, every inch of skin, the sweet juices between her legs.
Breathing in a deep breath, Haven curled his toes in the sand and grounded himself in the moment. He needed to concentrate on his current task, learning how to use an air tank, as they prepared to go scuba diving to a reef on St. Thomas. Half the group had signed up for this excursion. Haven had been excited that Heather found it because he’d always been told you had to be certified to go scuba diving. This company provided a lesson and training, then guided the divers out to the reef. It was only about forty feet under water, and there was a guide for every three divers in the group. With the classroom portion complete, they were now getting the gear on and heading into the water for that part of the training before they headed to the reef.
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