“All right.” Nic stood. “Who’s ready to see what’s on this?” She held up the tape, twisting it for show.
I wasn’t sure if I was ready. After reading just one love note from a guy with my name, I wasn’t sure what would be on the tape. Then a horrid thought came to me. “What if it’s a sex tape?”
Easton choked on the fries he’d just put into his mouth. “Dude!”
“Oh shit,” Brooke breathed.
“Oh my,” Edna sucked in a breath.
“What if?” Nic asked as she stared at me.
“If I see a bed, I’m out,” I stated, shaking my head and rolling my shoulders as the thought alone was enough to send a shiver through me.
Nicole put the tape into the waiting VCR. My palms started to sweat, my leg bounced up and down again, and my heart felt as though it was going to beat out of my fucking chest. If I saw my mom’s boob, I would die here on sweet Edna’s couch, and tomorrow they’d have to have a viewing for me too. But as Easton pressed play on the remote, the screen changed, and there was no bed in sight. Children were playing in my childhood backyard, and there were multiple colors of balloons tied to trees, a cake on a table in the distance, and Easton’s dad, Jimmy, was manning the grill to the side.
“Is that you?” Nic asked, pointing at the boy that was me. Back then, my blond hair was long like a surfer’s even though I was anything but.
“Yep.”
“You were so cute.” My wife beamed.
“And that’s me.” Easton pointed to where he was running next to me, both of us with Super Soakers. “I don’t know who the other kids are though.”
“Probably Jake and Matt, if I recall.” More kids came running into view with water guns.
“Whose birthday is it?” Brooke asked.
“Mine,” I stated. “That’s my old yard.”
“And your dad is barbecuing, E?” Nic asked.
“Yeah, but I don’t know why,” he replied. My friends and I were still running around, shooting each other with water. “I don’t get it. Why was this in the safety deposit box?” Easton asked.
Then we heard it.
They weren't on screen, but my parents must have been standing behind the rolling camera …
“I don’t give a shit, Denise. He’s not even my son.”
“You were there when he was born. You’ve been—”
“That doesn’t make me his father.”
“You are his father.” It sounded as if she were crying.
“He doesn’t have my blood flowing through his veins.”
“You two need to stop,” Easton’s mom clipped. “This is Avery’s birthday.”
All of us in the room looked at Easton as though he knew all the answers because it was his mom. He shrugged, and our attention went back to the TV.
“Avery.” My dad laughed. “If I had known you were a whore and got knocked up by another man, I would never have agreed to name him after his real father.”
There was the sound of someone being slapped. I felt everyone in the room look at me, but I couldn’t look away from the screen. It was as though everything around me stopped and my only focus was this one piece of the puzzle. I wasn’t sure I’d heard correctly. I wasn’t sure about anything anymore.
“See what you did?” Jane hissed. “Now your wife is crying and running off at her son’s birthday party. This is supposed to be a fun afternoon.”
“I don’t give a shit,” my dad spat.
“You two need to get it together,” Jane ordered. “That sweet boy knows nothing, and you two made it that way. You chose to stay together because of your little society bubble you live in. You need to either cut the shit or tell that boy the truth.”
“He’ll never know the truth.”
“Why not?”
“Because—”
“Because you care what other people think, and you’re willing to live a lie to keep up the image that you have a perfect marriage?”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I know more than you think. We’ve been friends—”
“Fuck off, Jane. Go deal with Denise, and leave me the hell alone.”
“Fine, but know this.” There was a slight pause, and she lowered her voice slightly. “That sweet boy will find out one day who his father really is.”
“Are you going to tell him?”
“No, but secrets can only stay buried for so long, Doug.”
My dad chuckled sarcastically. “And so can Avery Moore.”
The living room was silent as I watched my dad walk in front of the camera and toward Jimmy at the grill. Jimmy said something, and they both laughed. Dad grabbed a beer and twisted off the cap before taking a swig as though he didn’t just have an altercation with Jimmy’s wife and my mom. But …
He wasn’t my dad.
“Babe?” Nicole whispered.
I didn’t reply. Instead, I stood and walked out the front door, leaving my half-eaten burger and fries behind. I wasn’t hungry—again. I wasn’t sure what I was anymore because I sure as shit wasn’t Douglas Scott’s son.
Footsteps pounded behind me, and without looking back, I knew the heavy footfalls were Easton’s. He jogged to where I was walking down the street, no destination in mind.
“Not now,” I clipped.
“Just walking with you,” he replied.
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
“All right. Then where are we going?”
Crazy. “Who the fuck knows anymore?” I groaned in frustration.
“I’m sure Edna has more vodka. Let’s get fucked up.”
I didn’t respond. I just kept walking down the street. Drowning everything with vodka sounded like the best idea, but then I knew I’d wake up in the morning and nothing would be different. I wouldn’t wake up to a week ago when all I wanted was to spend the weekend away with my wife. No, I would wake up in the same position, knowing that the man who I called dad wasn’t actually my father at all.
Easton didn’t offer to do anything else or say anything else. Instead, we walked and walked and walked. We walked up and down numerous streets until the sun was no longer shining and the street lights were on. What kind of world was I living in where I didn’t realize that the man that I thought was my father wasn’t? And did my dad—Doug—whoever he was—kill the first Avery?
“No, but secrets can only stay buried for so long, Doug.”
“And so can Avery Moore.”
I stopped. Easton stopped. Once again my head was spinning. “Why is this happening?” I asked, looking at Easton as though he knew more than I did. “Have your parents ever said anything to you?”
“Of course not.”
“How could they know all this time and not tell me?”
“I don’t know.” Easton shrugged.
“They know how he used to treat me. Why not tell me?”
“Probably because it’s not their secret to tell.”
“Well, whose is it now? Everyone’s dead!”
He thought for a moment. “Maybe that means it’s time for my parents to tell you what they know.”
Easton better be right because I was tired of feeling as though I knew nothing.
Abso-fucken-lutely nothing.
Avery and Easton had been gone for over an hour, and I was starting to worry. But Easton had texted not long after Avery stormed out of Edna’s house saying that he and Avery were walking around. What could I say to make it all better? How could I take the pain away? I wished there was something I could do to help.
But there wasn’t.
“Tomorrow Easton and I can go to the store and get stuff for the viewing,” Brooke suggested as we sat at the island in the kitchen at Avery’s parents’.
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to. Plus, you’ll need to pick up the urns. You have a busy day.”
“Thank you.” I smiled warmly at her. Thank god they’d shown up. I knew that Avery and I would be los
t without them. I heard the front door open, and I slid off the barstool and hurried into the living room. “Hey.”
Avery started for the stairs. “I’m just going to shower and go to bed.”
I looked toward Easton, and he shrugged.
“A shower and bed sound amazing,” Brooke agreed. “It’s been a long day.”
That night, I held my husband as tight as I could while he cried himself to sleep.
The next day, we all went to breakfast, and then while Avery and I picked up the urns, Brooke and Easton went to the store as planned. No one mentioned the tape. I was waiting for Avery to speak about it first, but he never did.
At three o’clock, Edna came over, and we all sat around, dressed in whatever black we had in our suitcases, and waited for people to show. Some people from Avery’s dad’s office showed up. Apparently, I’d texted his secretary from his mom’s phone. There were some more people who told us they were friends and some from Denise’s book club. Even Arnold and his wife, Elise, showed up, but none of the handful of people who came—except Arnold and his wife—knew that Doug and Denise had a son. The entire situation was hurting my husband even more, and I felt as though I couldn’t talk to him about it. What could I say or do other than be there for him? Nothing. I had no clue what he was going through. No words would be enough.
And I hated it.
That night we spent time with Edna. We were leaving in the morning to head home, and I was going to miss her. We told her that if she ever wanted to come to New York, our doors would always be open for her. The bright side of it all was when the judge granted Avery official beneficiary status, we would be back to deal with his parents’ assets and belongings, and we’d get to see Edna again.
I’d never tell Avery this, but I was going to miss In-N-Out too.
And especially those batting cage tacos.
Our plane touched down the next night in New York. By the time we made it home, I was exhausted both mentally and physically. Avery was quiet most of the trip back. I didn’t blame him. We’d left his parents’ ashes and everything back in California because we figured in just a few weeks we would need to return.
“You okay?” I asked as we pulled the covers back on our bed. I needed to know.
“No,” he admitted.
“Are you ready to talk about it?” He and I slid under the covers.
“What’s there to talk about?”
“Babe …”
“You know as much as I do. We can talk to Jimmy and Jane tomorrow at dinner.”
Since we’d missed Sunday dinner, we’d rescheduled for Monday. Little did they know that it would probably be an interrogation, but I thought it was safe to say that everyone needed to know the answers. Easton deserved to know what his parents knew about his best friend. And, of course, Avery needed to know it all.
“I want to know what you’re feeling,” I explained, placing my head on his bare chest.
Avery thought for a moment and then finally answered, “Lost.”
I lifted my head and placed my chin on his chest, looking up into his blue eyes. “You have me.”
He smiled tightly. “I know, and I love you. That will never change.”
“I love you too.” He kissed the top of my head. “I just want you to know you can talk to me.”
“I know. I’m just confused. I never knew my parents were living some secret life.”
“Yeah, it’s crazy.” We were quiet for a moment. I thought about work and what—if anything—I would tell them. I knew I would need to take at least another week off soon. Then a thought occurred to me. I raised up onto my elbow. “Are you still feeling sick?”
Avery blinked. “What?”
“Before we left for California you thought you might be sick or something.”
“Oh.” He sighed. “Yeah, I feel the same, but dealing with all this shit isn’t helping.”
“Come into my work at noon tomorrow, and I’ll draw your blood.”
He nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
I wanted to talk to him more about everything that we’d discovered the past week, but instead, I snuggled closer, and we both fell asleep.
I woke before the alarm.
I woke, and it was still dark outside.
I woke to hands tugging my panties down.
“Babe …?” I questioned, still groggy.
“Shh,” he responded. “We have a long day ahead of us again, and I just want to love on my wife.”
I wasn’t going to stop him. I loved waking up with him bringing pleasure to my body. Avery didn’t waste any time. He was already naked, and once he got my panties off, his mouth was on me like he was starving. He licked, he sucked, he got me ready, and then he rose up onto his knees and slid inside me with one thrust. There were no words spoken, no dirty talk. It was pure, raw fucking.
And I let him.
My husband needed this. He needed to get off quick. He needed to feel some sort of pleasure, and I was willing to be the one he turned to. Plus, even though it was fast and not like the romantic man I’d married, it was still unbelievable. I came hard, Avery followed, and then we laid in bed panting as our breathing returned to normal.
Now, we could start our day.
Easton was right. Halo was still standing. I hadn’t really doubted him, but it was still amusing to bust his balls when it came to him running things when I wasn’t around. Plus, when we went on the cruise that changed our lives, the bar was still standing when we returned home. Easton had left it in Bethany’s hands for three days and nights, even though they were our busiest days and nights out of the week, so when I needed to go back to California to deal with my parents’ estate, everyone could handle Halo, I knew I wouldn’t need to stress about it.
I had to admit that Halo was one of the last things I’d thought about while we were in California.
Parents died in car crash–check.
My father not really my father–check.
Mom left a secret will–check.
Dad killed my real father–sounds like it.
Jimmy and Jane knew all the answers–I fucking hope so.
During the day, I tried to not think about what was going to happen tonight—easier said than done because I had so many unanswered questions. At noon, I met Nic at her office, and she took my blood. She said by tonight we’d have the results. I just hoped it was nothing serious because I wasn’t sure how much more I could handle.
The moment the clock struck five, I left Halo and headed home to get Nicole. We were driving over to the Crawfords’ together.
She was already waiting outside for me as I pulled into the driveway of our townhouse. She kissed me as she slid into the car, and then I backed out of the driveway. “So, I have news.”
“Yeah?” I questioned.
“Your lab results came back just before I left.”
I took a deep breath. “And?”
She smiled as I looked over at her and instantly it felt as if some of my tension subsided. “Everything came back normal.”
“Really?”
“Yes.” Her grin widened. “You’re healthy as a horse as they say.”
“Thank god.” I took a deep breath. “So, it’s safe to say it’s stress?”
“More than likely.”
“Doesn’t help that we’re about to go confront Jimmy and Jane.”
Nicole squeezed my knee lightly. “No matter what they tell you tonight, just know that I’m here. We’re family. We’ll start our own soon, and all of this will be behind us.”
“I know.” I sighed. “Just fucking sucks my life before you was a lie.”
“You can’t change the past, baby. All we can do is make better decisions about our future.”
My wife was right. We couldn’t change the past, but we could provide a loving life for our children when the time came. And I was determined to do that.
When Nic and I pulled up to the Crawfords’ house, Easton, Brooke, and C.C. were already there. Did they give Jimmy and
Jane the heads up about what tonight would be about, or did they think it would be like most Crawford dinner nights this time of year when we would talk about who the Angels were playing and how they were doing? They weren’t doing that bad this year, but they weren’t headed to the World Series either.
“Ready?” Nic asked.
“Yeah,” I responded and opened my car door.
Nic slid out of the car, and we moved to walk together up the driveway. “Whatever happens, whatever you find out tonight, know that I’m always here for you.”
I wrapped an arm across her shoulder, bringing her against me. “I know. You’re my rock.”
“And you’re mine.”
“I love you.” I kissed her temple just before opening the door.
“I love you too.”
I opened the door as I always did. This was the Crawfords, the people who treated me more like a son than my own parents, and I never knocked when they knew we were coming over.
“Avery!” Jane beamed the moment she saw me walk into the living room. I’d expected her to be in the kitchen like she always was, but instead, she was standing next to Jimmy, who was in his recliner while Easton, Brooke, and Cheyenne sat across from them on one of the couches.
“Hey,” I greeted back with a slight smile.
She rushed to me and wrapped me in her arms. “How are you doing? How was California?”
My gaze moved to Easton’s over his mom’s shoulder, and he shook his head slightly. I took that to mean he hadn’t told them anything. “I’m tired, and California was—California.”
“Do you want a cup of coffee?” Jane asked, pulling away from our hug.
“Sure. Thank you.”
Jane moved and gave Nicole a hug too. “Hey, honey. Do you want a cup of coffee too?”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll wait for wine with dinner.”
Jane went into the kitchen and Jimmy spoke as Nic and I sat on the loveseat next to the long sofa. “Easton was just telling us that you kids had In-N-Out.”
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