“A few times,” I answered.
“So?” Jimmy asked, looking at my wife. “What did you think?”
Her blue eyes moved to me and then back to Jimmy. “Don’t tell Avery, but I loved it.”
We all chuckled, and Jimmy asked, “Better than Shake Shack?”
Nicole nodded. “Yes, but never tell my husband that.”
I snorted because I was sitting right next to her. “Yeah, let’s not tell him.”
Jane returned with coffee for me. “Dinner will be ready shortly.”
“So, C.C., what’s the deal with homecoming?” I asked Cheyenne as she stared at her phone, messing with the screen and probably texting eighty of her friends at the same time.
She looked up from her device and glared at Easton. “Why don’t you ask my dad?”
“I said you could go,” Easton stated.
“But not in the limo,” Cheyenne whined.
I understood why Easton was so protective of Cheyenne. She was his little girl, but there had to come a time when he realized she was going to grow up and have a life out of his control.
“I said I’m still thinking about it,” Easton retorted.
They glared at each other and then Jane asked, “How was—how was California really?”
I rubbed the back of my neck as I looked at Easton, knowing she wasn’t actually referring to the state but what had happened while we were there. “It was—interesting.”
“Oh?” Jane asked.
My gaze darted to Cheyenne, and even though she was in her own world—back to texting or whatever—I also knew that she was listening. “Maybe a conversation after dinner?”
Jimmy and Jane shared a look, and I wanted to jump up and scream at them that I knew—that for twenty plus years they’d known my dad wasn’t my real father and they never told me. If they had, maybe I could have had more time with my mother. I could have told my parents that I knew and there was no reason to hate me. Fuck, I just needed to scream.
Instead, I stood, set my coffee cup on the table and walked to the front door. “Avery!” I heard my name but didn’t stop.
Easton followed me out the door. “Hey!” he called and ran up beside me as I walked down the driveway. “Come talk to them.”
“I will,” I admitted. “But I don’t want to ruin dinner, and I need some air.”
He stopped me by grabbing my arm. “I know you’re pissed at them for keeping this from you, but you’ve known them forever. They care about you.”
“Do they?” I knew they did, but I was pissed and questioning everything.
“Of course they do.”
I sighed and stared up at the sunset. “I know.”
“I’m sure they’re grilling your wife right now. You need to get back in there. Let’s get this over with.”
“But dinner—”
“Fuck dinner.”
“It sounds like you want to know more than I do,” I stated.
“I want to know what they’ve been hiding too. When I say you’re like my brother, I mean it.”
I took another deep breath. “Okay. You’re right.”
He clapped me on the shoulder. “Let’s rip the Band-Aid off.”
“It just fucking sucks.” We started walking back toward the house.
“I know, but we don’t know what they know.”
Easton was right. We didn’t know what they knew. “Okay, let’s do this.”
We walked back into the house. Everyone was still in the living room except Cheyenne, which was probably for the best. I didn’t know what was going to happen. The vibe in the room was tense as I returned to my seat next to Nicole. She moved closer to me, so there was no space between us. I needed that. I needed to know she was there for me. Being glued to my side meant we were one. She had always been my one, and I knew that whatever Jimmy and Jane admitted, Nicole would make me feel better.
Jimmy cleared his throat. “Nicole told us that you found a VHS tape?” I nodded. “She wouldn’t tell us what was on it though.”
I sighed and closed my eyes. Before I could respond, a timer in the kitchen went off. Everyone looked at Jane. “Dinner’s ready.” She shrugged.
All gazes moved back to me as though asking if I wanted to continue. “We can wait.”
“Okay.” Jane stood. “Everyone move to the table.”
The entire time we ate the miso-glazed salmon and fried rice, no one spoke. The tension was thick, and it was the quickest meal we’d ever had as a family.
As a family.
I had to keep reminding myself that Jimmy and Jane had never done anything to hurt me. They’d taken me in numerous times when I hadn’t wanted to go home and deal with my father hounding me about how to improve in baseball.
“Peanut,” Easton said to his daughter. “Can you go up to your room again? I’ll call you when it’s time to leave.”
Cheyenne looked around the table, and then shrugged because she probably didn’t care about anything that had to do with us old people. “Okay.”
She started to pick up her plate, but Jane stopped her. “It’s okay. I’ll get it.” Cheyenne looked around the table again, and without another word, turned and went up the stairs.
“I’m just going to say it,” I said as soon as C.C. was out of earshot. “The tape was of some birthday of mine, and you”—I looked at Jane—“were arguing with my dad.” Jane looked at Jimmy. She didn’t seem too surprised by what I’d said. “It was about him not being my real father.”
Jane closed her eyes, not saying anything.
“There’s no sense in keeping this from him any longer,” Jimmy stated to Jane.
“Please,” I begged. Nic squeezed my knee to tell me she was there. “Just tell me.”
Jane nodded, still not meeting my gaze, but it was Jimmy who spoke. “You know we’ve known your parents a long time.” I nodded. “We’ve known them since we were all in college together.” I knew that they’d been friends forever, but I didn’t realize it went back that far.
“Doug and Denise were college sweethearts, just like Jane and I were. We all attended UCLA before Doug went to medical school. Everything was perfect. We were the best of friends. When we graduated, Doug and Denise were engaged to get married, so were Jane and I, but instead of going through UCLA’s medical program, Doug got into Harvard. Your mom didn’t want to move to where it snowed, but they worked it out so that she’d stay in California. All was well until your mom met a man named Avery Moore.”
“We know about him too,” Nicole indicated.
Jimmy continued. “They fell madly in love, and she got pregnant with you. Doug had no idea that she was seeing another man. Denise didn’t know what to do because she was already engaged to Doug. They’d been together for so long, that she decided to end the relationship with Avery. Doug wasn’t the wiser about her being pregnant.”
“But he found out,” I stated.
Jimmy nodded. “It wasn’t until he found a letter from Avery when you were a kid that everything went down.”
“Why didn’t Denise stay with the man who got her pregnant?” Easton asked.
Jimmy shrugged and looked at Jane. “We don’t really know,” Jane admitted. “I know she loved Avery more than Doug, but something made her stay. I always thought it was because of money and giving young Avery a good life. The other Avery lived in Thousand Oaks, and maybe Denise thought if he were out of sight, she wouldn’t pine for him. But she did. I saw it in her all the time.”
“Okay, but why did Doug stay with Denise after finding out she cheated on him?” Nic asked.
“Because he’s an asshole,” Jane whispered as she rolled her eyes.
“I don’t understand,” I admitted. “My mom cheated on him, and he’s the asshole?”
Jimmy took a deep breath. “He was an up and coming plastic surgeon in Beverly Hills and cared more about what people would say about him than just getting a divorce.”
“But Avery died?” Easton asked.
“Iron
ically, Avery died in a car accident,” Jimmy advised.
My mouth fell open, and our friends sucked in a breath. “Really?” Brooke questioned.
A tear slid down Jane’s face. “We think Doug killed him.”
“Why do you think that?” Easton queried.
“Because the night Doug found out about Avery, was the same night Avery Senior died in the crash,” Jimmy stated.
“But the police said there was no foul play,” Jane clarified.
“Maybe it was just a coincidence?” I suggested, looking around the table to gain everyone’s assessment.
Jane shook her head. “At the time of the accident, Doug was nowhere to be found.”
“Still could have been a coincidence,” Brooke said.
“We thought that at first,” Jimmy explained. “But each day Doug became angrier and angrier. One night he threatened Denise and told her that he’d do the same to her that he’d done to Avery.”
My chest tightened. “Why did she stay with him after that?”
“Fear,” Jane stated. “She stayed because she wasn’t sure what he’d do to you if something were to happen to her.”
“So he started to resent me because I wasn’t his?” I asked.
“Yes,” Jimmy confirmed.
“Why didn’t you two do something?” Easton questioned.
“What could we do?” Jane countered. “It wasn’t like we could hide Denise and Avery.”
“Why not go to the cops? Get a restraining order?” Brooke probed.
“Because a piece a paper can’t prevent a bullet or a knife from killing or hurting someone.” Jane looked at me. “She wanted to stay because you were getting older and would be in college and out of the house in a few years.”
“But she stayed after I went off to college,” I added as though they didn’t know.
“We don’t know why,” Jimmy confessed. “When you went off to college and Easton married Dana, we moved here for my job. We asked her to come with us, but she refused.”
“I thought you didn’t talk to her anymore?” Easton asked.
“After we moved, we slowly lost touch.” Jane choked on a sob. “Now, it’s too late.”
“I don’t think it’s too late,” Nicole stated. “Denise is with Avery Senior now. The one she wanted to be with.”
Everyone looked at my wife. We were so focused on the past and what had happened to not realize that my mother was up in heaven with the man she loved. The one she truly loved. Her one.
“That’s a nice way to think about it.” Jane smiled and wiped a tear from her face.
“Will you tell us what the police said about Doug and Denise’s car accident?” Jimmy asked.
I shrugged slightly. “Just that a car was driving the wrong way and hit them head-on.”
“So there was no foul play?” Jimmy inquired further.
I shook my head. “No. Why do you ask? They died together.”
“It’s just odd it was a car accident too.”
“Or karma,” Brooke snorted almost sarcastically.
“Was Avery Senior’s accident a head-on collision too?” Easton asked.
“No.” Jimmy shook his head. “The cops think he fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree.”
“And you think Doug drugged him or something?” Nicole questioned.
“It only makes sense that he did,” Jane responded.
If it were true, and my dad killed my biological father, Douglas Scott was the devil.
Over the next few weeks, things seemed to return to normal. The judge in California finally granted Avery beneficiary status in his parents’ estates. We did what we could from New York, closing accounts and transferring assets. The only thing left was to sell their house and either sell or donate their cars and belongings, which is what we’d do while we were back in California for the next week.
“In-N-Out or tacos?” Avery asked as we grabbed our bags at baggage claim.
I thought for a moment. Ever since I’d admitted to Jimmy that I loved California’s staple burger place, Avery teased that we were going to eat it the entire time we were back in Santa Barbara. I even had Shake Shack for lunch one day to make sure that I did, in fact, like In-N-Out more. What was I going to do when we had no reason to come back to the West Coast? Also, the batting cage tacos were what dreams were made of. How was I to choose?
I pulled my phone out of my handbag, looking at the time. “Tacos for lunch and In-N-Out for dinner?”
Avery grinned. “I knew you were my one for a reason.”
I bit my lip. “Is that the only reason? Because I’ve abandoned the Shack?”
“And other reasons.” He kissed the side of my head. “Reasons I’ll show you later.”
I stopped walking toward the rental car booth. “In your parents’ house?”
“It’s our house now.”
This was true, but if it were truly my house, there would be color. There would be pictures. There would be love. “Maybe we can start in the pool,” I suggested.
Avery chuckled and leaned in, whispering into my ear, “I’ll fuck you on the bocce ball court if you want.”
We pulled our heads back, staring into each other’s eyes, and then burst into laughter. That shit would hurt. “Yeah, okay,” I replied, and we started walking again.
As we walked to get the car, I beamed because my husband was finally smiling again. The last time we were here sucked. It was still a shitty situation, but each day was getting easier.
“Mmmm,” I moaned around my bite of taco. I couldn’t even explain why these tacos were so good. New York had tacos, but they didn’t compare. Avery stared at me, mid-bite. “What?” I asked.
He shook his head and chuckled. “Nothing,” he said and then took another bite.
“I’m excited to see Edna,” I admitted.
“Me too.”
“I hope she’s doing okay.”
“Yeah.”
“Are you going to tell her what Jimmy and Jane told us?”
Avery thought for a few moments. “Yeah, I think I am.”
“Good,” I replied. “I know we barely know her, but she was there when we watched the tape.”
“I know. I don’t mind telling her.”
We finished our tacos and then headed to the house. If we didn’t have a life in New York, I would have suggested moving into it. It was perfect to start a family in, and I loved being on the West Coast. But I would miss my family and all of the Crawfords, plus Avery had the bar.
The very first thing we did when we got inside was open all the windows. It was a nice September afternoon, and the house had been locked up for a few weeks. Once the air was flowing, we walked across the street to say hello to Edna and to let her know we would be staying until Sunday.
Avery knocked, and a few moments later Edna opened the door. Her eyes widened. “What are you two doing back?” she asked.
“We’re dealing with all the loose ends and selling the house,” Avery answered. Tomorrow he would be meeting with a real estate agent about selling the house. We knew that the house wouldn’t sell before we headed back to the East Coast, but at least it would be on the market and out of our hands until we needed to sign papers when it sold.
“Well, come in.” She stepped back and gestured for us to enter.
“We actually were just coming to tell you hello. We have a lot of things to do across the street. We’re going to have an estate sale on Friday and Saturday,” I advised her.
“Oh, well it’s good to see you two again.”
“You too, Ed.” Avery stepped forward and gave her a hug. I did the same. “Tomorrow we’ll stop by for some of your lemonade.”
She smiled. “I’d like that.”
We walked back across the street. “I’m going to mow the backyard,” Avery stated.
“Is there a lawnmower?” I asked because even though I didn’t know Doug Scott, I didn’t peg him for a guy who would mow his own grass.
“Oh,” Avery stammere
d. “I’ll check the garage.”
“Okay. I’m going to go upstairs and sort out your mom’s closet.”
When we’d talked about what we were going to keep and what to get rid of, I made the decision to keep only her jewelry and a few designer handbags I had my eye on. If Avery and I ever had a daughter, at least we could give her the jewelry from her grandmother that was sentimental.
After we ate our burgers at the packed burger joint, Avery drove us to the beach. We’d spent hours going through stuff and needed a break. Avery wasn’t able to mow the yard like he’d wanted to, so instead, we went through the house deciding what price everything we were selling should be.
Avery parked in the lot, and we walked down to the sand. We took off our shoes, carrying them in our hands as we walked hand in hand along the coastline. The sun was starting to set, and the ocean breeze played with my blonde hair. Life was beginning to feel normal again.
“What are winters like here?” I asked, realizing that in a few short months it would be snowing in New York.
“Mild, from what I remember when I lived here.”
“No snow, obviously.”
“Not here, unless it’s a fluke. But up in the mountains there is.”
“Do you miss living here?”
Avery thought for a moment. “Yes, but there is nothing here for me except nice weather.”
“We have a house here,” I reminded him. “A house we don’t have to sell.”
“A house that my mother didn’t feel welcome in,” he countered.
At least that was what we assumed given the lack of personal belongings and keepsakes. “So, you for sure don’t want to keep the house?”
“Why would I?”
I shrugged. “Because it’s a house.”
“It may be a house, but it’s not our home.” He stopped us and cupped my face with his hand. “Unless you want to make it our home?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I just want to make sure before we sell it.”
“I’m sure, but we can always come back for In-N-Out and tacos.”
I grinned. “Well, that was actually the point I was trying to make.”
Avery chuckled. “And that is why I love you.”
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