Secrets and Lies

by N. C. Anderson

  "I have a better idea,” Selena said gruffly as she marched toward them. “You tell me where my son is, and I won't interfere with either of you. If you don't, I'm going to have the biggest, most violent, temper tantrum either of you have ever witnessed."

  Logan brushed his hand across his chin to hide his smile. “I, for one, wouldn't dream of witnessing such a horrible thing. He's still in room four, resting, and though bruised, nothing is broken. They'll be moving him to an observation room for the night, Selena. He should be able to go home tomorrow."

  "Thank, God,” Selena whispered, moving past them. She glared at Logan. “Thank you, too, for coming and getting me."

  Logan watched her enter Gregg's room, wanting to follow her and apologize for making her wait; however, he hadn't quite finished with his father.

  "I'll expect you to make several phone calls, Dad. I think, since you could inspire them out of investing, you can inspire them back into it."

  "Otherwise?"

  "Otherwise, I might have to have a family conference. I don't think Pete and Rebecca and some of the others realize how far you've gone to get what you want. Let's just say the information I have could very well blemish the practice's wondrous reputation."

  "Blackmail, Patrick?"

  Logan grinned. “I have a good teacher."

  "All right, I'll contact them all in the morning. Going back to our previous debate—perhaps you would consider discussing a compromise when this is over?"

  "Such as?"

  "Such as, you come work with us a couple of days a month. Then, instead of just Pete or Rebecca sneaking off to assist you, we'll all volunteer time to your clinic."

  Rebecca wouldn't feel daunted. However, when he thought how Pete would react when he learned their working together had never been a secret, Logan couldn't hold back his chuckle. “We'll talk, Dad. That's all I can promise."

  Brian closed his eyes for a moment, savoring this new rapport with Patrick. When he reopened them, he knew they were red, moist. “I'm going to go give the orders for transferring Gregg to a ward. Then I think I'll go find your mother."

  "She's not real happy with you. I think you asked her for a divorce this morning."

  For an instant, Brian's face looked even bleaker, his shoulders slumped; a facade Logan had rarely seen on his father—excepting, when he forced himself to speak about Matthew.

  "Yes, I did do that,” he said. “I have cutting-out-my-heart-to-spite-myself perfected, Patrick. I think you learned that idiosyncrasy from me, too. I suggest you unlearn it.” He stepped closer to Logan, grabbed his shoulders and gave him a quick hug. “We have a great deal to talk about, you and me. Too many years—wasted...."

  After releasing a surprised Logan, Brian brushed his hand across the wetness under his eyes and laughed nervously. “Go after her, son. If Selena Flynn can love you even half as much as your mother has loved me, you can't afford to let her get away.” He nodded toward room four. “I fractured the bond between you and me because of grief I didn't want to face, let alone share with my family, but you don't have to be that incredibly foolish."

  Logan smiled, placing his arm across his father's wide shoulders. “It's been a long wait, Dad. When you're ready, just let me know.” He stepped back. “Mom's been waiting, too.” He chuckled, trying to mellow the atmosphere. “If you're humble enough, she might still be waiting.” After the talk with his mother, Logan had nourished the hope that his father's armor-against-pain would eventually crack. He remembered thinking that the idea seemed completely futile—especially in view of the past few years when his father's armor appeared to thicken at his refusal of the family practice, and even more after Selena's return. None of it would be easy. Logan had his own protective walls to deal with. And, did he really trust his father's words? Maybe. Just maybe.

  Brian nodded his head. “Tonight, I feel humble, Patrick. I feel as if a dark veil surrounded me, and when I saw that boy on the ground tonight, it crumbled into dust, uncovering a vital world I'd forgotten existed.” He turned away, starting down the hall. “Now that I've found it again ... I must go find your mother. Keep your fingers crossed, Patrick."

  After watching his father disappear into the waiting area, Logan looked toward room four. He needed Selena to answer a lot of questions. Even though his mind understood perfectly that he was responsible for their going separate ways sixteen years ago, his heart felt as if she'd betrayed him, deprived him.

  Logan nervously thought about the crossed fingers his father referred to, and walked toward room four. He wasn't at all certain he could forgive her, and he couldn't wait any longer for her explanations.

  Chapter 11

  Selena was sitting on a tall exam stool beside a sleeping Gregg when Logan shoved open the door. Her head turned slightly, and she watched him come across the room. Her expression seemed completely stubborn. Her eyes reflected her worry about Gregg; however, she held her mouth in a tight line, her chin tilting, inflexibly.

  Logan grabbed another stool from a corner, flipped it into a position three-feet from her and slid onto it. He propped one foot on the stool's cross bars, the other rested on the floor. “They'll be here in a few minutes to move Gregg to an observation room,” he said quietly, trying not to disturb Gregg.

  Selena swung her foot restlessly, her sneaker, tapping bluntly against the stool. “I'd rather take him home tonight.” Her tone was low, husky, the way it sounded after they'd made love. The vision the thought created instantly increased Logan's heartbeat, making it thump loudly in his ears, making his blood pool in the most southern region of his body.

  With a concentrated effort, Logan ignored his urge to take her in his arms. “I understand. But, since he has a concussion, it's best if someone can observe him steadily through the night.” Logan tapped his fingers on his thigh impatiently. “We have some extraordinary details to iron out.” He wanted to drag her away from here. They needed a quiet, completely private place to pitch sixteen years of frustrated emotions off their chests.

  Selena blinked, then stared at him for a moment. “No,” she answered, shaking her head slowly. She looked at Gregg. “Not yet anyway—and, maybe never."

  "I don't understand, Selena.” There was no way Logan would let her get away with that. They would talk if he had to camp on her doorstep.

  "Mom means she doesn't have anything to say to you, Doctor Logan.” Gregg's hazel eyes glittered through the slits between his swollen eyelids. Yet a slight smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

  Startled, Selena leaned toward Gregg. “Oh, Gregg, I'm sorry. We didn't mean to wake you.” She glanced at Logan. “Maybe we should step outside so he can rest."

  "Mom?"

  "Yes?"

  "Could you leave Doctor Logan and me alone for a few minutes?"

  "But you need your—"

  "I'm fine, Mom. Please?” Gregg interrupted.

  Even with swollen, bruised eyes and a bandaged head, Gregg had an aura of wisdom and age that added heavily to Logan's regret for his scared, immature behavior sixteen years ago. Behavior that cost him precious years of love and sharing. He shrugged off the thoughts. Painful circumstances had prevented him from experiencing how loving and sharing should work within a family. Past or present, he most likely never would. It was too late. And the words seemed to echo in his head.

  Selena slid off the stool and took Gregg's hand. “Are you certain?” When he nodded, she continued. “You're doing this for yourself?"

  "I think it's for both of us."

  "All right,” she said, kissing his cheek. “If you want me, I'll be in the waiting room."

  Logan could feel her nervousness as she walked past him. He reached out and touched her arm, stopping her. “I won't eat him you know."

  Her sienna eyes were round, moist. “I know. Please, Logan,” she whispered. “Be careful with him."

  He wanted her to realize instinctively he would never do anything to hurt her son. Logan gave her a facsimile of Gregg's thumbs-up sign, a
nd she smiled as she continued out the door.

  * * * *

  Selena didn't want to leave. She didn't want Gregg to feel alone, but he seemed determined to take care of this in his own way. She had promised him he could do just that. It would be all right. She trusted Logan's patient nature and regard for others.

  Brian Logan's voice boomed from the waiting room as Selena approached, and she stopped near the doorway. “I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class."

  "That doesn't appear to mean you graduated with any common sense,” Karlene countered, determined to keep total control of herself. He would not see her cry. “You and your damned snobbery. Why would I want to go home with a man who believes I should hang my head because my grandparents had the misfortune to loose their property during the depression? Or because my father was a shell-shock victim of World War Two and couldn't recover enough to rub two dimes together?"

  Rebecca, who sat at the end of the room, spoke up. “Karlene has a point there, brother. But then, we've all told you this at one time or other.” She shrugged. “Not that it ever made a difference."

  "You may stay out of this, Rebecca."

  "If Rebecca has something to add, I want to hear it,” Karlene said stubbornly. “It's a little late for you and I to have a private conversation that means anything."

  Selena wished she would have kept walking past the waiting room. It appeared Karlene and Brian were communicating after too many stifled years, and she didn't want to interrupt. If she even wiggled a finger now, they would see her. Selena stood absolutely still, not wanting to listen, not wanting to inhibit them from their clearing-the-air.

  Brian shuffled closer to Karlene. “I've been wrong,” he mumbled. “You're right, I've been hiding grief with flimsy excuses for years."

  "Could you say that just a little louder,” Karlene said, crossing her arms in front of her as a chill rippled down her spine. “I'm not certain I heard you correctly."

  "You heard me.” Brian cleared his throat and shifted his balance uneasily. Karley seemed to be listening. Perhaps he had a chance after all. “I guess you could say I actually faced myself this evening,” he said louder, “and I haven't liked the image for a very long time. Then his voice became hushed, choking, as his thoughts focused on his guilt. “I tended to judge you by your family, and for what happened to Matthew because I couldn't bear his loss.” He shook his head slowly. “The grief scared the hell out of me, Karley. I never wanted to take the chance I might feel it again."

  Karlene reached out and touched his arm. “And Patrick? Why did you push him away?” she asked, her voice roughened by unwelcome tears. “Why did you send him out of our lives when he was so little, so defenseless?"

  Brian took Karlene's hand in his. “I don't know for certain. Matthew died in my arms. I couldn't risk that ever happening again, and keeping you and Patrick at arms-length became my shield. It protected me from the pain of possible loss.” Brian brushed trembling fingers across the tears under her eyes, and swore to himself that he would never let one day pass without telling her how much she meant to him. “If I stayed back from Patrick, from you—if anything happened to either of you it wouldn't hurt as badly if we weren't close."

  "The cold, easy way out? But there is nothing comfortable about it, is there?” Karlene touched the side of his face. “I can't live with that any longer, Brian. For me, having Matthew for a short time was better than not having him at all. Love gives no guarantees. An hour of love is better than the years of nothing we've been living."

  He placed his hands on her shoulders. “I realized all that this evening when I saw young Gregg on the ground. Seeing him catch the ball, then seeing him injured. The way I'd missed Patrick's entire childhood came to me as if I were struck by lightning. I wanted to know what Gregg was like, touch him. I had a sudden fear when I first saw him, that he would die and I wouldn't have ever known him.” He shuttered.

  Karlene placed her arms around him. “Well, Gregg is not dead."

  Rebecca stood up and walked across the room. “Brian, for the first time in thirty years, I believe there is hope for you."

  Karlene smiled through her tears. “I do believe you're right, Rebecca."

  "Does this mean you'll go home with me, Karley?” Brian asked slowly. “I need you beside me. If you can hang on—have patience with me just a little longer, I intend to show you just how much you've always meant to me."

  "I hadn't expected—Now, after all these years, you want me to believe it's possible for me to penetrate your self-inflicted armor,” Karlene said thoughtfully. “I think, if you mean what you've been saying, we could discuss it further. I won't make any promises beyond that."

  "Oh, I've never been more certain about what I'm saying,” Brian assured her, his hand caressing her cheek. Karley was handing him the chance to prove his words. He couldn't muff it.

  Not able to stand it any longer, Selena moved in the doorway when numbness forced her to shift her weight from one leg to the other. All their eyes focused on her, and heat burned in her cheeks as she stood silently, unable to think of anything to say. Then a possible escape came to her. “Have any of you seen my mother?"

  Rebecca hurried toward Selena. “Della went down the hall for coffee.” She placed her arm around Selena's shoulders. “Why don't we join her?"

  Selena glanced at the elder Logans; their fingers entwined, their expressions hopeful. “Yes,” she answered quickly. “I think that's a wonderful idea."

  "It won't be necessary,” Della said as she entered the room, carrying a paper cup filled with coffee. “I hurried back up here to check on what was happening."

  "Gregg is okay, Mom. They are keeping him overnight, but he's going to be fine.” She paused. “He's talking to Logan right now.” When she spoke the words and released the anxieties that had plagued her from the moment Gregg fell, energy abandoned her, seeping away as if someone had suddenly pulled a plug. As much as Selena wanted Logan beside her, wanted his powerful arms around her, wanted to feel his self-assurance, she didn't have enough spunk left to face him tonight.

  It was easy to see her mother understood exactly what Gregg was saying to Logan in that room. And Della wanted to know exactly the hows and whys of what was happening. Selena just wanted breathing space. “I need to go home, Mom. Could you take me to my car?"

  As Della nodded her head, Brian Logan spoke. “My driver has my car out front, Selena, and we can drive Della home. Why don't you take her car? You already know Karley and I want—no, need to talk to you about Gregg. However, we all need a rest first."

  "Doctor Logan is right, Selena,” Della said quickly, saving Selena from answering Brian. “If you'll give me your keys, I'll go get your car in the morning. Then you can get it at the office when you're ready to come pick up Gregg."

  Selena kissed Della's cheek as they exchanged car keys. “Thanks,” she whispered, grateful to all of them for letting her go without an argument.

  Della hugged Selena. “Get some sleep and I'll see you in the morning."

  * * * *

  Damn, but this kid is something else, Logan thought, as he watched Gregg's quiet assessment of him. He walked to the stool Selena had just vacated.

  The door opened, and a nurse stood in the doorway. “The orderlies are here to move the patient, Doctor."

  "Keep them out until I come get them,” Logan ordered.

  "Right,” she answered and closed the door.

  "You already know about me, don't you, Doctor Logan?” Gregg said suddenly. “I can tell by the expression on your face."

  Logan hoped his expression looked as positive as he felt. “I only have hearsay information,” Logan answered him candidly. “I don't rely much on grapevine stuff.” Gregg nodded then was quiet for so long Logan prompted him. “Do you still want this talk with me? Or, would you rather wait until you've rested?"

  Gregg relaxed his hands across his abdomen. “I've wanted to be a doctor since I was five,” he said. “But it wasn't
until I saw you in Mom's office that I understood why."

  "You didn't know who I was before that?"

  Gregg shook his head slowly. “I've always known Dad—I mean Daniel Flynn, was my adopted father.” He stared at Logan for a moment. “He was a great dad, you know? But all the time I wanted to meet my real father."

  "I didn't realize you existed, Gregg,” Logan said, offering his hand for a handshake. “Now that I do, it's a pleasure to meet you."

  Gregg accepted his hand. “You might not feel the same way once you get to know me."

  "Well, I can say the same thing to you, so I guess that makes us starting out even."

  Gregg brushed his fingers across the bandage on his temple. “Do you want to get to know me?"

  "I can't think of anything I'd rather do. How about you?"

  "I do, but it really depends on you and my mother,” Gregg answered, his voice strong, sure of himself.

  Logan crossed his arms on his chest. “Meaning?"

  "My mom comes first, Doctor Logan.” Gregg's eyebrows slanted closer together in a frown, and his voice lowered. “If you were to hurt her, we wouldn't have anything to say to each other."

  Spoken like a true warrior, Logan thought as he relaxed his arms and stood up. It would be impossible to feel more proud of the kid than he did at that moment. He wanted to touch Gregg, soothe away the concern wrinkling his young forehead. “Then I guess I'd better find her.” Logan turned to leave. “I can promise not to keep you in the dark, Gregg.” He looked over his shoulder at Gregg when he reached the door. “Rest easy. I have no intentions of ever doing anything to hurt her."

  Gregg closed his eyes, a smile curving his mouth upward. “Thanks,” he sighed.

  "No problem,” Logan said as he opened the door. Now, all he had to do was keep his word. This was no ordinary promise—and this was a situation Logan didn't have the slightest knowledge about. None of his previous experiences in life would help him with this one.