Selfish

by Shantel Tessier

  I let go of her hand, and she places it on the rail. I step behind her and wrap my arms around her waist. “Every time I see this city from a different view, it gets better and better.”

  “Funny. Because I feel the same way about you.”

  I expect her to argue or to elbow me. Instead, she surprises me by leaning back against me and letting out a sigh. I rest my chin on top of her head and smile. So the city is my way in. That is going to be her weakness, and I can use that to my advantage. It’s perfect up here. It’s a little windy but not too bad. The air is cool for a June night, and the city lights up from all the buildings. You can see the Hudson River from here and the George Washington Bridge.

  “We got you guys some drinks.” I look over to see Jaycent and Becca standing next to us.

  “Thank you,” she says, pulling away from me and taking her drink from Becca.

  Becca takes a sip from her straw with a smile on her face, and then it drops, and she slowly lowers her drink. “What’s wrong?” Ashlyn asks, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  Becca says nothing as she continues to look past us. We all turn to see what she sees, and to my surprise it’s Conner. He’s sitting at a high-top table with a redhead. “Is he still messaging you?” Ashlyn demands. Becca nods. “When was the last time he messaged you?”

  “Earlier today.”

  “What did he say?” she demands.

  “That he wanted to have dinner tonight. I ignored it like I have all the others.”

  “He’s such a fucking player,” Ashlyn growls.

  “Fuck,” Jaycent hisses. “I’ll take care of it.” He goes to walk off, but Ashlyn grabs his upper arm with a shake of her head.

  “You had him last time. Now, it’s my turn,” she states.

  “What do you mean last time?” Becca asks. We all act like we didn’t hear her.

  Ashlyn turns to me. “Hold this,” she orders, handing me her drink. She looks around for a few seconds and then smiles when she sees a little crop jacket thrown on a couch up against the railing. She grabs it and wads it up. She turns her back to us as she bends over. I frown, trying to figure out what she’s doing. When she finally turns back around, I see a bump under her dress.

  “What are you doing?” Jaycent asks her, but she waves a hand in the air as she walks off, and she yanks her drink out of my hand. “Oh, this is gonna be good,” Jaycent says with a smile and then takes a drink of his beer.

  She makes her way over to them and comes to a stop at their table. Placing her hand on her hip, she then throws her drink in his face. His date gasps as Conner stands, gasping for air. “What the fuck?” He looks over at her, and his eyes widen in recognition. “Ashlyn?” he growls.

  “You know this woman?” his date demands.

  “You son of a bitch,” Ashlyn snaps. “You said you had a meeting that was running late.” She looks down at the jacket under her dress. “And this is where I find you?” She takes his date’s drink and tosses it in his face as well. “You took vows, Conner ...”

  “You’re married?” his date shouts as she stands.

  Conner shakes his head at her. “No. Ashlyn is fucking crazy …”

  “How can you say that? Little Conner can hear you,” Ashlyn says, rubbing her belly.

  “She’s crazy,” Conner tells his date once again.

  His date slams her fists on the table and then turns around and storms off. Conner doesn’t even give Ashlyn another look before he spins around and follows after her. Ashlyn comes back over to us with a satisfied smile on her face and winks as she removes the jacket out from underneath her dress.

  “Fucker,” she says.

  Becca laughs as she pulls her in for a hug. “Thanks, girl. I needed that.”

  “That’s what I’m here for,” she says then wraps her arm around Becca. “Now, come on; I need a new drink.” They take off.

  “You have your hands full with that one,” Jaycent says, lifting his drink to his lips.

  “I know,” I say with a smile as I turn to follow her. No way will I let her buy her drink.

  ***

  Ashlyn goes to stumble out of the elevator as the doors open but I pull her back into my body. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she slurs as the doors close on Becca and Jaycent after they exit. If I wasn’t so concered about Ashlyn, I would be wondering why Jaycent just got off the elevatror with my sister.

  She continues to laugh as the elevator comes to a stop on my floor. I hold on tightly to her left arm and open the door to my apartment with my right. Popping it open with my foot, I help her inside. She takes a couple of steps and comes to a stop in front of me. She reaches down grabbing my shirt and yanks up, pulling it out of my slacks. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

  “You,” she says simply.

  I place my hands on her upper arms and move her away from the door so it can close. “Not even gonna play hard to get?” I ask with a chuckle.

  She pulls herself free of my hold and sways back and forth. “Is that what you want me to do?” She licks her lips, and I have a feeling they’re numb by now. I lost count of how many drinks she had, but I know she had more than five shots.

  I reach up and wrap my hands in her soft blond hair. I yank her head back, and she gasps as her glassy blue eyes widen. I lower my lips to hers and whisper against them. “Darling, you could do anything, and I’ll still fall to my knees before you.”

  I lower my head and place soft kisses on the skin of her neck, and she starts to breathe heavily. “Why do you say things like that?” she asks breathlessly.

  I pull back and look down at her. “Things like what?” I ask with my hands still wrapped in her hair.

  She closes her eyes and then opens them. They search mine as she whispers, “Things that make me think there could be something more than sex between us.”

  I smile. “Is that what you want?” Any other time, I am more than willing to fuck her senseless, but right now, I want her to tell me everything that she would never tell me sober.

  “It’s a mistake,” she says licking her lips.

  “What is, sweetheart?”

  Her hands come up and slide under my shirt that she untucked. “Anything other than sex between us.”

  “What if I want more?” I’m not sure why I said that. I can’t blame it on alcohol since I only had a few beers. I wanted this night to be about her. I do know that I want her to be mine and only mine. I can’t imagine having to share her with someone else. Another man having the opportunity to take her out and see her naked. Feel her soft skin. Fuck that tight pussy. A growl escapes me as I loosen my grip on her hair and then tighten it. Mine!

  Her lips part, and she takes a deep breath as she shuffles from foot to foot. Her legs are tired of holding her up. “I can’t give you more,” she all but slurs.

  “Can’t or won’t?”

  Her hands are still under my shirt. She digs her nails down my stomach, and I grind my teeth together as my skin burns. “Why are we still talking?” she asks. “Fuck me!”

  I let go of her hair and grab her hands. I spin her around so her back is against my front door. I pin her hands above her head and press my body into hers. I let her feel how hard I am as I push my hard cock into her lower belly, and she whimpers. “You want that, baby?” I ask, lowering my lips down to hers. I don’t kiss her but want her to think that I will.

  She nods quickly. “Yes. Please,” she begs and leans forward. I pull back before she can kiss me and smile.

  “Then answer the question,” I say, and she squirms, trying to get free. No such luck. “Why won’t you give me more?”

  She stops squirming and looks up at me through long dark lashes. Her eyes narrow on me and her lips thin. She’s getting mad, and I like it. Mad will get me answers. “Because. When it ends, I’ll not only lose you, but I’ll also lose Becca.” She rushed the words, but I was able to make them out.

  “Who said I was gonna let you go?”

  She sucks in a lon
g breath and presses her hips into mine again, knowing I’m ready for her. She’s hoping that I will give in. Not a chance. “Because men like you don’t go for women like me.”

  I let go of her hands, and they drop to her side like a brick falling off a building. I grab her face and frown. “What does that mean?”

  She lifts her heavy arms and places her hands on my chest; she tries to shove me away, but she’s too drunk and weak, so I just take a step back from her. She steps away from the door and walks past me, her heels clapping against my hardwood floor. I turn to watch her as she places her arms out wide and spins around, letting out a laugh. “Look at this place, Ryder,” she says almost shouting. She stops spinning to face me and her arms drop to her side once again, and she sways. “You are the son of billionaire Timothy O’Kane. Like I said, men like you don’t go for women like me.”

  “Money has nothing to do with this.” How can she think it does?

  “It has everything to do with this,” she snaps.

  “Do you like me for my money?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest, still very aware of my hard dick in my slacks.

  “No.” She shakes her head too fast and almost trips over her own feet. I reach out to stabilize her, but she knocks my hand away. “I like you because you make me feel something I have never felt before.” She licks her lips and slowly starts to walk toward me. I take the few steps and close the distance.

  “What do I make you feel?” I ask, reaching out and caressing her soft cheek.

  She closes her eyes and leans into it. Reaching up, she places her hand over mine. Her lips part and she whispers, “Like someone special.” She opens her eyes and looks up at me.

  I smile. “You are special, Ashlyn.” Then I lean down and press my lips to hers.

  ASHLYN

  I don’t have time to process what just happened. My feet are numb, and my limbs are heavy. My mind is foggy, and my insides are tingling. Not sure if it’s from his lips on mine or the alcohol, I kiss him back as passionately as I can. I wrap my heavy arms around his neck, and his hands go to my upper thighs. He lifts my dress up over my ass, and I moan into his mouth. Yes! That’s what I want, Ryder. Fuck me! But he doesn’t. Instead, he bends down. Wrapping his arms around my ass, he lifts me off the floor.

  He kisses me as we make our way down the hallway, and then I’m falling; my heart stops, thinking I’m falling to my death.

  I open my eyes and take a deeper breath when I see I’m lying on his bed looking up at the ceiling. I hear ripping of clothes and look up and see Ryder now shirtless and removing his slacks and shoes. Then his boxers are gone, and his hard cock stands at attention, and all I can think about is touching it, sucking it, riding it. “Ryder …” I pant as wetness pools between my legs. I shift up on my elbows and pull myself more onto the bed, causing it to pull my dress back down over the part that wants him the most.

  He crawls on top of me, pushing me down, and brushes my hair away from my face. “You’re still dressed, baby.”

  “Takeitoff,” I slur, reaching down and pulling on the hem of my dress. “Take. It. Off,” I say each word slower this time, in case he didn’t understand what I meant before. My pussy throbs. This gorgeous man is on top of me, and I’m not doing anything. I reach up and rub his smooth hard chest. The muscles in his arms flex as they hold him up, and I lift my heavy head to see his abs flex.

  My head falls to the bed. “What are you waiting for?” I ask breathlessly.

  He chuckles. “I like you like this.”

  “Why?” I close my eyes and try to push him off so I can get undressed, but he’s straddling me, and I’m too drunk to move him.

  “Squirming. Begging. I bet your pussy is soaking wet for my cock, isn’t it?” His voice is calm as if we are discussing the weather. My tongue is heavy and my lips numb.

  I nod my head. “Yes.” Reaching down between us, I take his hard cock in my hand, and he hisses in a hard breath. The hard yet soft skin feels amazing as I wrap my fingers around his large and long cock and start to move up and down the length of him.

  “Fuck, Ashlyn,” he growls. I pick up the pace, and then I feel his hands on my dress. “Lift your hips,” he demands, and I do, as he pushes my dress up my hips. “Fuck, yes,” he says when he sees I’m not wearing panties.

  He leans over me and removes my hand from his cock. I reach up and grab his handsome face. “Fuck me. Please,” I beg, and his lips are on mine moments later.

  His body falls on top of mine, and his tongue enters my mouth. I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck when I feel his dick enter my pussy without any warning or foreplay. I cry out into his mouth as he stretches me. His hands in my hair, his lips on mine, I lie there drunk on alcohol and lust as he once again takes me somewhere I’ve never been before. And a place I wanna never leave.

  ***

  I wake up with a pounding headache and aching body. I slowly open my eyes, expecting to see bright lights, but there’s nothing but blackness. I blink a few times to make sure my eyes are actually open.

  Sitting up slowly, I bring my hand to my head and rub my temples. “Shit,” I groan. What happened last night?

  I look around the black room and finally see a soft light coming from under a door to the right. I shove off the covers and crawl out of bed. I take a step and fall to my knees. “Fuck!” I hiss as I roll over onto my back. “Son of a bitch.” I sigh as I rub my knee, trying to help the sting from my fall.

  The room lights up, and I close my eyes as I cover them with my hands. “Turn it off,” I say to whoever turned it on.

  “What the fuck happened?” I hear Ryder’s voice, and I sigh. “Why are you on the floor?” he asks as his voice grows closer. Seconds later, I feel his hands on my shoulders as he helps me to a sitting position.

  “I fell.”

  “How?”

  I open my eyes to see that he turned off the bedroom light but has the bathroom door open with that light on. I look at his bed that sits on a platform in the middle of his room. “I forgot there was a step.” I point at his bed. “I fell off it.”

  I look up at him, and he is trying to hide his smile. “It’s not funny,” I say, slapping his bare chest. “It hurt.” He bursts out laughing. I shove him out of the way and stand on shaky legs.

  “Let me help you,” he says, still laughing as he reaches out to me.

  I shove him away. “I don’t need your help. I need to pee,” I state as I make my way to the bathroom. He stays in the bedroom while I go to the bathroom. “You can come in,” I holler as I’m washing my hands. I lean over and throw some water on my face. When I look up, I flinch. “God, I look like shit.” I’m not sure how bad I looked before I splashed water on my face, but now, black eyeliner is running down my cheeks. At least I wear waterproof mascara.

  Ryder comes up behind me and kisses my bare shoulder. “I think you look beautiful,” he says, looking at me in the mirror as he stands behind me.

  I shake my head as I cup some more water in my hands. Might as well take off what’s left of my makeup. When I’m done, I open my eyes to see Ryder had got me a bottle of water and Advil. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” he says, standing beside me. He’s standing in front of the other sink, putting shaving cream on his face.

  “What time is it?” I ask.

  “Almost seven.”

  I frown. “Why is it so dark in your room then?”

  He smiles at me in the mirror. “I shut my curtains for you to get some sleep. You were dead to the world when my alarm went off for work, but I knew you would wake eventually. I didn’t want you to wake up with the light being too bright.”

  Aww. That’s sweet. “Thank you.”

  He nods. “No problem.” He places his razor on his face.

  “I like the stubble,” I say with a smile.

  He stops mid-stroke down the right side of his face and looks at me in the mirror. “Want me to keep it?”

  I chuckle. “You’ve already st
arted. I’m just letting you know that I find it very sexy,” I say, biting my bottom lip with a naughty smile.

  He smiles. “I’m learning an awful lot about you.”

  The smile drops off my face. “What does that mean?” He just shrugs and goes back to shaving. I’m not sure how much I remember of last night. I remember leaving the club. I don’t remember coming back to his apartment. I remember parts of our sex. Him on top of me. Him behind me. Me screaming his name. His lips on mine. Then nothing. “What else did you learn?” I ask, placing my hands on my hips.

  He puts his razor down and cups some water in his hands. I wait impatiently as he rinses the remaining shaving cream off his face. He takes a towel off the towel rack and turns to face me. A big smile on his face.

  “I know you snore.”

  “I do not,” I argue.

  He laughs. “You do. Like a freight train. It kept waking me up last night.”

  My eyes narrow on him. “I don’t believe you.”

  He leans forward and kisses me on the lips. “Don’t worry. I think it’s cute.” I jump back. “And you also agreed to have lunch with me today.”

  “I did not.” Did I?

  He nods. “You did.” He turns and walks out of the bathroom. I follow after him but can’t move as fast. I sit on his bed, careful not to fall this time as he goes into his closet. He comes out wearing a pair of black slacks, a dark blue button up shirt that’s undone, and a black tie hung loosely around his neck. “So make sure to be downstairs by noon,” he says with no room to argue. “I’ll have Milton pick you up.”

  “Ryder—”

  “Noon.”

  “Fine,” I say, crossing my arms over my chest. “But it’s not a date.” He just smiles at me

  ***

  I’m running around the apartment, trying to get ready for lunch with Ryder. My headache still lingers even after a thirty-minute hot bath and a cup of coffee. And plans to have lunch with Ryder were not helping. I have mixed feelings. His smile when I said this wasn’t a date made me think that’s exactly what it is. I’ve been racking my brain all morning, trying to figure out why I would agree to lunch with him today and can’t come up with anything that makes sense.