The Songwriter

by Jensen, A. P.

  She shook her head. “Yes. Pass.”

  He rubbed his hands together. “You’re gonna blow everyone away.”

  “Really?”

  He began to play the piano and sang, “Gwen, where’ve you been all my life?”

  Gwen snorted. “I don’t think you should go into songwriting.”

  Gwen’s phone rang and when she saw who was calling she walked across the stage as Trey continued to sing ridiculous lyrics.

  “Hello?”

  “I must have heard wrong. Trey can’t be replacing me with you!” Natasha cackled.

  Gwen had been bracing herself for this conversation. Ever since Natasha took off with her Hollywood man, she made sure to send taunting pictures to Gwen and the entertainment news. Gwen hadn’t responded to any of her texts or calls, she knew it was just a matter of time before someone told Natasha that the tour wasn’t going to be cancelled and who was going to take her place.

  “He’s not replacing you. He’s hiring someone else since you took off,” Gwen said.

  “I can’t believe he talked you into doing this. God, that man could talk lesbians into being straight.”

  Gwen’s hand tightened on the phone. She knew Natasha was a pro at making everyone feel stupid, small and inconsequential. It worked when Gwen was a young kid. No more.

  “Have fun on your honeymoon and don’t worry about Trey. He can take care of himself.”

  “You mean you’ll take care of him. Gosh, Gwen, you never snapped out of it, did you? You think he’ll look at you differently if you sing for him and get him out of a tight spot? That’s pathetic. You’re going to embarrass yourself in front of the world.”

  Natasha’s words scraped her raw. “I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t left. If you’re so worried, then come back and do the tour.”

  “No.”

  “Go back to your new husband. I have work to do,” Gwen snapped and hung up.

  She resisted the urge to hurl her phone off the stage. She was trembling with anger. She couldn’t stop the doubt that coursed through her.

  “What did she say?”

  Gwen turned to Trey and pasted a bright smile on her face. “Oh, you know, ‘thanks for covering for me.’ She was spreading her cheer like usual.”

  Trey examined her face. “Whatever she said, forget it. You sound great and whether or not you want to be a singer, you were born to be heard.”

  Gwen laughed weakly and rubbed a hand over her face before she remembered she was wearing makeup. She moaned and looked down at the dress that was “comfortable.” After listening to Natasha’s mocking voice, the dress now looked washed out. When Natasha got onstage, she commanded attention. She was tall, thin and beautiful. Gwen was short, curvy and the dress she was wearing was demure and safe. If she was going to be onstage singing, why should her outfit be safe?

  “What’s wrong?” Trey demanded.

  He didn’t know how to take the way Gwen was looking at herself as if she realized she was wearing pig skin. He knew as soon as Gwen answered her phone who she was talking to. It had taken a lot on his part not to snatch the phone out of her hand and give Natasha a piece of his mind. Even if Natasha appeared out of thin air he wouldn’t take her on tour. He was excited with what Gwen was doing to his show. It was a calm, honest energy he never experienced onstage with another female singer. Maybe it was the fact that Gwen connected with the song personally that made her voice strike anyone that listened straight in the heart. The fact that they’d been friends over a decade didn’t hurt.

  “This dress isn’t right,” Gwen said.

  Trey looked over the dress again. “I think it looks just fine.”

  Gwen looked up and he saw the anger on her face. Her hands clutched fistfuls of the rose colored dress that trailed behind her.

  “I’m not a damn teenage princess!” she snapped.

  Trey held his hands up in defense. “I had nothing to do with this.”

  “I can change the dress?”

  “You can do anything but ditch me.”

  Gwen nodded and took off towards the dressing room. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I need to talk to Angie, Cassie and Barbie.”

  The next day when Gwen walked onstage, Trey forgot what he was saying. Barbie, Angie and Cassie high fived each other when the men did double takes. Gwen’s auburn hair was now a rich brown which emphasized her eyes and skin. Her normally wavy hair was pin straight and had been layered to frame her face. She had bright red lipstick that emphasized full lips and she was dressed in a skin tight sparkly dress that stopped on her petite frame at mid-thigh. With each step she took, the dress shimmered and Trey’s throat locked. He rubbed the back of his neck and watched “Gwen” walk up to him. The desire that had been on low simmer since he heard her sing went into full boil. He’d always seen Gwen as cute, but what he was seeing now was a woman bent on seducing and he was ready and willing.

  “Uh, hi,” he said.

  Gwen eyed him coolly. “Hi.”

  Gone was the uncertain girl he met every morning to rehearse. This was a woman that knew what and how she wanted it. He wasn’t sure how a haircut and new dress could give Gwen the stage persona she needed but he didn’t care. All that mattered was she was here, ready to do the tour and she was smoking hot.

  “So… what’s up?”

  She put a hand on her hip and his hands tingled with the urge to shape her hips and bring her up against him.

  “I said I wanted to change some things.”

  He blinked. “I thought you were talking about your dress.”

  “I was and then I realized I wanted to change some other things too.”

  “Like your hair?”

  She swung her hair and it fell seductively around her face. “You like it?”

  “Uh huh. Is this the only dress you’re going to wear during the show?” She was killing him.

  “No. This is my finale dress. I have another dress for The Better Man and Touch Me. Sorry I’m late. Let’s do this.” Gwen grabbed her mic and went to the front of the stage. She tapped red hot stilettos and sang the opening lines of Breaking Out strong and clear.

  Once upon a time

  I questioned if I was good enough,

  pretty enough, smart enough

  Those days are gone!

  I’ve spent so much time

  trying to deny what you are to me

  I finally realize

  you will never see me for who I am

  I’m breaking out!

  I’m moving on,

  living my life the way I want without you

  I don’t need you and I’m not looking back

  I’m breaking out of this cage,

  I’m breaking out!

  Barbie and Cassie squealed and fist pumped as Gwen marched across the stage like she owned it. This was Natasha’s latest hit and while Trey had a small part in the song, it was a chance to let Gwen take center stage. Up until now, he hadn’t been sure whether he was going to use the song because Natasha’s fans would crucify Gwen if she couldn’t bring the attitude. He smiled as he watched Gwen now. He knew she had it in her somewhere to be this way- fierce, proud and confident. Even Angie was smiling as she watched Gwen and he couldn’t remember the last time he saw that. What the hell did Natasha say that ticked Gwen off to the point where she was now dead set on giving the performance of her life? He shrugged. It didn’t really matter. He just hoped she was like this during the show. If she brought the Gwen he was seeing now, the one that looked capable of kicking Natasha’s ass, she would be immortalized.

  “I get my own bus?” Gwen screamed.

  Everybody laughed when she jumped up and hugged Trey. She’d been on enough tours to know life on the road wasn’t glamorous. She’d been on eighteen month tours where she lived on a bus with five people and the only place you could go for privacy was a bunk bed with a curtain. Having her own bus made all of this a whole lot easier on her and Trey knew that.

  Gwen released Trey and rushed onto her bu
s which was done in ivory and lavender with hardwood floors and gleaming walls. Gwen went to the master bedroom and sighed in ecstasy when she saw the huge bed and private connecting master bathroom. She fell onto the bed and sank into the plush mattress. Trey lay beside her as she moaned in ecstasy and rubbed the bed sheets.

  “You like it?” he asked.

  “I love it.”

  “It’s the least I could do. I know you like your space. I’d share my bus but I don’t think you’d be satisfied with that.”

  She patted his scruffy cheek. “I knew you were smart.”

  He grinned. “Are you ready?”

  She blew out a breath. “As ready as I can be. I know the songs; I know how to sing them. I know where to go onstage but the crowd… Singing in front of the crew is different from thousands of fans.”

  “I don’t know what happened between you and Natasha,” he began and saw anger spark in her eyes like lightning, “but I want you to know that no one could replace Natasha better than you.”

  Gwen grimaced. “I just hope her fans don’t kill me.”

  “They won’t,” he said firmly. “I want to show you something.”

  He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the bus. It was madness in the parking lot. People rushed around, doing last minute checks on all the equipment. Angie was in her element. She had a clipboard and yelled orders at people as they passed. Trey pulled Gwen onto another bus and led her to the back and stopped in the entrance. They were in a recording studio complete with a glass sound booth.

  “Oh my God,” she whispered.

  “This way you can send demos when we’re on the road and you can write. I really meant it when I said I’d do everything I can to make this work.”

  She didn’t want to know how much money he spent to get this bus. She knew the room was soundproof and there was a skylight at the top that let in bright light. There was a large couch against the wall and she knew this would be her second sanctuary on the road. She waved her hands in front of her face so she wouldn’t cry.

  “It’s beautiful,” she whispered.

  Trey laughed and engulfed her in a hug. “I’ll do whatever it takes. This is a new beginning for me. That’s what you’re giving me. This is the least I could do.”

  She pulled away and took it all in. She was Trey Phoenix’s lead singer on his Freedom tour. Having Trey pull out all the stops for her made her realize how far he’d go to ensure that she was comfortable. It touched her deeply and thanking him didn’t feel like enough. Training with him for two weeks had changed something in her and brought out the singer she buried long ago.

  “Thank you, Trey.”

  He kissed her on the lips, a quick, chaste kiss she was becoming familiar with. Their act onstage was leaking into their private lives and he didn’t seem to notice the difference but she did.

  “Get comfortable. The show is tomorrow.”

  Trey left her alone in the recording studio and she spread her hand over her quivering belly. She sat on the couch, grabbed a notepad nearby and began to write. It was the only way she could cope with the stress.

  Chapter Five

  Gwen stood on the stage and looked out over more than sixteen thousand seats in the Amway Arena where the kickoff began in Orlando. This was it. She trembled as she looked out over the empty arena. Tonight people would sit in these seats and listen to her sing with Trey. She attended countless concerts in her time over the years but never quite seen things from this view. To think that every single stop on the tour was sold out was insane.

  “Gwen!”

  Grateful for the interruption she blinked in surprise when she saw Trey being followed by Oliver Crum, a twenty one year old breakout star. He had on Ray Ban’s, ripped jeans, a hat on backwards and a huge wad of gum in his mouth.

  “This is Gwen. She’s replacing Natasha,” Trey began. “Gwen, this is Oliver. He’s my opening act while we’re on tour.”

  She saw Oliver’s brows rise over his sunglasses and gave him a tight smile. Looks aren’t everything, buddy, she thought. Oliver was obviously surprised that Trey couldn’t get someone just as beautiful as Natasha which showed what he valued. Beauty before voice.

  Trey stepped up to the edge of the stage and surveyed the crew and arena before he turned to Gwen. His eyes were sparkling with excitement and she wished she didn’t have panic and anxiety rocking through her. He thrived on this stuff but then again he had twenty years of experience. Trey came over to her and cupped her face.

  “You’re ready for this,” he said firmly.

  She tried to smile but didn’t quite succeed.

  “Tonight’s the night. Barbie and Cassie are in your bus, ready for hair and makeup. I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said and kissed her.

  She walked past Oliver and dodged the stage crew who worked like a well-oiled army. When she walked into the bus, Cassie and Barbie pounced on her and gossiped about potential bed mates now that they got a look at the men on the tour for the next six months. While Barbie and Cassie called dibs on whoever passed their standards, Gwen checked her phone.

  Natasha: If you embarrass Trey he’ll never forgive you. He loves his career more than he loved me.

  Natasha: How can you perform when you can’t be in front of crowds?

  Natasha: Don’t choke, baby.

  Gwen turned off her phone and took deep breaths as Barbie and Cassie worked their magic and helped her into her first dress. It fit like a glove. It was a simple, classic gown all in white. If she put on a veil, it would be considered a wedding gown which she and Angie agreed on because of The Better Man. The woman in the song accepted a proposal from one man when she was in love with someone else. This dress conveyed a type of vulnerability that complimented the first two songs and it would make her second dress that much more shocking. Silver heels peeked out as she walked to the arena. Her heart was pounding a million miles a minute and she felt as if she was having an out of body experience as Angie appeared out of nowhere and directed her backstage.

  She ran into Trey as he stripped out of a shirt soaked with sweat. Gwen was temporarily distracted by his naked upper torso as someone produced a towel and briskly wiped him down as some kind of video entertained the crowd while he changed. Her nausea receded the tiniest bit as she watched him shrug into another shirt. The crowd roared for Trey’s return as he buttoned his shirt and grabbed his guitar. Gwen opened her mouth because she had something important to say but nothing came out.

  “See you in a bit,” Trey said with a feral smile before he walked back onstage.

  She watched him walk to the middle of the stage and the noise from the crowd knocked her back two steps. How could she have forgotten how crazy his fans were? The cheers from the crowd were deafening and the ground shook as they stomped and jumped when their idol appeared on the stage where he belonged. Trey was on fire. She’d forgotten how much he loved touring and connecting with his fans this way. This wasn’t a job for Trey. This was his reward for making music. There was no better high than being surrounded by thousands of people that loved the best of you.

  Angie pulled Gwen beneath the stage to an elevator that had her mic and stand all set for her. Gwen was trembling so badly she had to sit down. Stage hands grabbed her so she didn’t keel over. They yelled to be heard over the band and Trey’s voice but it didn’t make a difference because her ears were ringing and she was drenched in cold sweat. She was supposed to go up in the elevator and appear onstage in less than five minutes and she was having a panic attack. She gasped for breath and Angie eyed her disgustedly.

  “You can’t do this to Trey! You agreed. There’s a contract!” When that had no effect on her, Angie shoved a cold Sprite into Gwen’s trembling hand. “Drink this.”

  Gwen obediently took a few sips and was surprised when the shakiness faded slightly. Angie talked nonstop as she popped mints in Gwen’s mouth, repaired her makeup, toweled her down and straightened her dress.

  “I remember when you were eighteen, r
unning behind Natasha like a puppy on a leash,” Angie said.

  Gwen’s head snapped up. Angie shook her head and sighed dramatically.

  “She treated you like crap, talked down to you and you just smiled and did everything like a good girl. You’re lucky she went through your stuff and found that notebook or you’d still be her assistant. I can’t believe Trey was stupid enough to think you could do this. Natasha’s gonna laugh herself silly when she finds out you choked.”

  Gwen knew what Angie was trying to do and it was working. She thought of Natasha’s texts and took another gulp of Sprite, shoved everyone out of her way and stepped onto the small platform. She clutched the mic stand for dear life. The stage crew hissed around her but she cut it all out and listened to Trey.

  “As you all know, Natasha left me high and dry.”

  The crowd booed and Gwen felt her heart lift a little. The fans were on Trey’s side which was good, right? The platform lurched into motion and she took deep breaths as she rose in the narrow shaft.

  “One of my best friends is filling in. Give a warm welcome to the woman behind my hits, Gwen Harper!”

  When she appeared at the highest point on the stage the auditorium was pitch black except for flashes of light from glow sticks and phones in the audience. Gwen closed her eyes, bowed her head and tried to block out everything. Her eyelids burst with light as the spotlight fell on her and she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of her own heartbeat. There was a hushed quiet from the crowd and she grasped the mic stand with a shaking hand. She heard Trey begin the intro of The Better Man and could hear his voice in her mind; it’s just you and me. Sing to me. She took a deep breath and when she raised her head she was blinded by the spotlight. She thought of Natasha and opened her mouth and began to sing.

  I have a man that loves me,

  that holds me at night

  He tells me he loves me everyday

  He wants what I do,

  a stable home, children