Girls' Night Out_A Novel

by Liz Fenton

“So, what’s the word?” Ben asked, and Natalie’s heart dropped—she knew he wasn’t inquiring how white the sand was, whether the water was as warm as they’d read, or if she’d enjoyed the ceviche. He was asking about the Revlon offer—again. He had left Meg’s room and was now in theirs. She saw their unmade California king in the background, Ben never so much as pulling up the duvet most mornings. “Did you get her drunk and have her sign the agreement?” He laughed, an empty sound that made Natalie feel uneasy.

  “We just got here,” she said, attempting to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “It’s not going to happen overnight. But it will happen. Just trust me, I’ve got this. But you have to let me handle it in my own way.”

  “Okay,” he said, but it came out sounding like a challenge. “But I don’t understand—why can’t you just tell her what’s really going on?”

  “Because I’m embarrassed!” she said, finally losing her patience. “I feel like an idiot.”

  “But I’m the one who screwed up—made the bad investment—lost everything. Not you.”

  “You don’t get it. That’s the humiliating part. Telling her my husband gambled away all of our money.”

  “Not gambled—invested,” Ben said, his eyes bloodshot. He clearly hadn’t been sleeping. And neither had she, lying in bed, the stress of their finances weighing so hard on her chest she could barely breathe. But she was good at compartmentalizing her feelings. And in the light of day, she could manage the stress of their financial situation much better simply by not thinking about it. Talking to Ben about it never helped. She avoided it, but he always found a way to work it into their conversations.

  “Don’t do that. You don’t get to do that.”

  “Fine,” he said quietly. She knew she was kicking him while he was down, but she was so angry at him. It was as if she couldn’t control her emotions. She swung between being furious and trying to be understanding. He hadn’t gone to the casino. He thought the app he was investing in was solid. And had it worked out and he’d come to her with the opposite news, would she still have been pissed he’d gone behind her back?

  “I’m sorry about the credit card,” he said.

  “Did the bill not get paid? Or, God, have we maxed that one out too?” Natalie cringed, thinking of the conversation they’d had six weeks ago when he’d told her what he’d done. He’d sat her down and confessed that he’d made some terrible investments. That he’d gambled with their savings, the girls’ college funds, and lost. It had gutted Natalie, who still drove her old reliable Toyota Prius. She had sacrificed so much to make it—to succeed. When they’d built the business she’d cleared out her 401(k), bought her clothes on sale, scouring the internet for deals when they had to make a purchase like a washing machine. And to this day, she still lived as if they didn’t have the kind of money they did. And now Ben had taken away her opportunity to eventually enjoy any of it. He’d sobbed, telling her they had sixty days—maybe ninety if they didn’t pay certain bills—before their checking account was empty. She’d only seen him cry like that one other time—when his father died. Natalie had lain in bed that night, her gut twisting. What would become of them?

  “It’s over the limit,” he finally said. She heard the defeat in his voice, saw it in his eyes. “If we skip a house payment or two, even three, it will buy us more time. I did some research. The bank won’t come after us for a while.”

  “I’m not going to squat in my own home!” Natalie started breathing heavily. Were they really having this conversation?

  Ben rubbed his eyes. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

  “You weren’t, obviously,” Natalie said sharply, feeling angry that she actually used to love the way Ben took risks. It had been one of the things that had initially attracted her to him—the opposite of her own personality.

  “Listen,” Ben said. “If you can just convince Ashley to sell, all of these problems go away. If you would just tell her—”

  “We’ve already been over this,” Natalie interrupted. “I’m not telling her what you did.” They’d been so excited when the offer from Revlon had come in, just days after Ben’s admission. It had felt like a sign as they’d jumped up and down in their bedroom, screaming with joy. But that feeling had quickly dissipated once Natalie had realized Ashley would most likely never sell. Ben didn’t understand why she couldn’t confess their missteps. Why she wouldn’t let Ashley swoop in and save the day, the same woman who purchased an $80,000 car on her lunch break because she felt like it. Natalie had always been the one who saved her money, who didn’t let her impulses sway her. She was embarrassed to her core that Ben had put them in this position.

  No. She was going to convince Ashley another way.

  “Natalie—”

  Natalie snapped. “Stop. I’ll figure it out. That’s the whole reason I came here, isn’t it? To bail you out?”

  He shook his head. “I know. I screwed up. I don’t know how many more times I can say I’m sorry at this point.”

  “You’re right.” Natalie sighed. She hadn’t had sex with him since he’d told her. She couldn’t so much as kiss him. She felt betrayed, like he’d been unfaithful. She questioned why he’d hid it from her for so long. Had he lied about other things too? She didn’t know if she’d ever be able to trust him again. Or what would happen to their marriage. But for now, she was focused on getting Ashley to sell so she didn’t lose everything.

  Especially not her house. If they didn’t sell, she’d have to give up the two-story craftsman with the blue door, which sat only a few blocks from the beach. When they’d bought the fixer-upper that they’d slowly renovated over several years, Natalie had been pregnant with Meg. She’d imagined packing up the bright red Radio Flyer wagon she’d had her eye on and spending long days lying on the sand with her growing family. She could count on one hand how many times that had happened, BloMe launching the year after Lucy was born, the daily stresses of their startup inhaling all the small moments she’d hoped for. That house marked who she’d wanted to be as a mother. Giving it up, letting go of the pencil marks in the closet that measured the girls’ height as they grew up, would be like handing over the keys to the life she really wanted.

  “I know you don’t like this option, but we could transfer them to public school sooner.”

  “No. It will crush them,” Natalie said. “This isn’t their fault.”

  “I’ll tell them it’s mine.” Ben ran a hand through his thick hair.

  “Like that will make it any better,” Natalie shot back.

  “We can still find our way out of this. You just need to stay focused.”

  “I need to stay focused?” Natalie said sharply. “Why is fixing your mistake suddenly my problem?”

  “Because we don’t have another option.”

  “Because of you. Why are you pushing me so hard? I feel like I can’t breathe.” She clenched her teeth together so she didn’t completely lose her temper. But she was close to saying hurtful things she couldn’t take back.

  “You’re right, I’m sorry,” he said softly, staring off at something in the distance.

  She knew he was embarrassed, humiliated, and frightened. And even though unleashing her anger on him right now might make her feel better for a few seconds, it wasn’t going to bring their money back. “Look, I’ve had a hard enough time processing what’s happened. And now there is so much pressure on me to fix it. I will fix it. Just let me take care of it my way. Please.”

  She hated that selling had become their only way out. Not because she didn’t want out, because she did, but that it had become so desperate. And she didn’t want to have the same argument again—that keeping her job wasn’t enough to fix this . . . her annual salary wouldn’t make much of a dent. That taking money out from the company had to be approved by Ashley because she’d also have to take the same amount. And both of them withdrawing that much wasn’t even possible. Their company couldn’t afford that big a hit.

  �
��I shouldn’t have been so pushy. I just hate that I’ve done this to us, and I can’t solve it.”

  She pushed back the tears that were threatening to fall. “I’m going to get her to change her mind.”

  She hung up the phone and raised her head to the sky, a dark storm cloud making its way toward her from the east. “What if I can’t convince her?” she whispered to herself. She almost always let Ashley have her way. She could count on one hand the number of times she’d put her foot down about something at work. Would Ashley understand it was Natalie’s turn to get her way? She stood there until the ominous cloud was directly overhead, and let her tears mix with the rain it brought, finally composing herself and walking back to where Lauren sat, as if the world she’d built wasn’t crumbling.

  Later, after Natalie composed herself in the bathroom, she and Lauren walked back to their hotel and made themselves comfortable on the beach chairs under the thatched umbrellas, a stack of tabloid magazines and a half-empty pitcher of piña coladas between them. Natalie sat, rereading the same article, her conversation with Ben replaying in her mind. She had thought she’d have more time to figure everything out.

  Ashley walked up, kicking up sand from under her flip-flops.

  “Hey,” she said, and sat at the end of Natalie’s beach chair, Natalie shifting slightly to make room. She wondered again if she really could convince her. When Ashley made her mind up about something, that was usually it. Would Natalie finally playing her I never ask you to do anything for me card be enough?

  “Hey,” Natalie said, matching her tone.

  Lauren lowered her sunglasses and said nothing.

  “I’m sorry. I know Marco has been around a lot, and I get why you’re annoyed.” Ashley looked at Natalie. “And you probably are too,” she said to Lauren.

  Natalie frowned slightly, unsure how to respond. She felt exhausted by her own problems. The one with Ashley felt far away. But she needed to push herself to be here in this moment. To focus on their friendship. That was going to be the key to solving her financial problems.

  “Thanks for saying that,” Lauren finally said, glancing over at Natalie. “He’s nice, but he was kind of getting on my nerves.”

  “Yes, thank you,” Natalie echoed, wondering if her words sounded as flimsy as they felt.

  If they did, Ashley didn’t seem to notice. “I have an idea. Have you guys ever heard of Chichén Itzá?” she asked, speaking rapidly.

  “I’ve read about it,” Lauren said. “It’s supposed to be amazing.”

  “I’m happy to hear you say that, because I set up a private tour for us tomorrow. We’ll get up close and personal with the Mayan ruins!” she exclaimed. “It’s going to be awesome. Just what we need.”

  “How did you find out about it?” Natalie asked, even though she already knew the answer. Marco.

  “Does it matter?” Ashley said, her tone sharp, but she quickly softened. “If you’re asking if Marco is coming, the answer is no. This is my way of saying sorry for not being a good friend. Before now and on this trip,” she added, shooting a quick look at Lauren, who gave her a small smile in return. “Please? Will you guys come?”

  “I’m in,” Lauren said. “I’m a sucker for ancient civilizations that disappeared mysteriously!”

  “Nat?” Ashley grabbed her leg. “I’m sorry, okay? Can we just move on?”

  Ashley’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. Natalie knew she needed to let it go—so she could get back on the right footing with Ashley, to help her realize that selling was the best thing for both of them. She forced a smile, not unlike the one she’d plastered on for the last six weeks. She could do this. Be the Natalie Ashley wanted her to be. “Yes,” she said. “On one condition.”

  “What?” Ashley said, her eyes darkening, apprehensive.

  “You buy the next round of piña coladas,” Natalie deadpanned, and Lauren and Ashley giggled loudly, causing the older couple next to them to look over with interest.

  “That, I can do,” Ashley said, heading toward the bar. “I’ll be right back!”

  Lauren and Natalie sat in silence for a few beats.

  “You okay?” Lauren asked Natalie.

  “Sure? Why do you ask?” Natalie lied. She knew Ben’s call had rattled her and it showed.

  Lauren cocked her head. “You’ve seemed a little off since you took that phone call.”

  Natalie peered at Lauren. How good it would feel to unload her problems, to relieve some of the pressure that had built up inside her chest. Maybe she could even help her convince Ash to sell? But no. Even though Lauren’s anger toward Ashley was clearly still lingering, her loyalty had always been to Ash. Natalie didn’t blame her, because she was often the same way. She’d just have to rely on herself—and hope she had it in her to change Ashley’s mind.

  She turned to Lauren and lied once more. “I promise, everything is fine.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  ONE DAY BEFORE

  LAUREN

  “That’s our ride,” Ashley said, pointing to a black SUV parked in front of the hotel. “I was planning to rent a car, but Marco nixed it.” She lowered her voice. “He said corrupt cops are notorious for pulling over American tourists and demanding huge sums of money or threatening jail time. So he hired a driver for us. Wasn’t that sweet?”

  Lauren caught Natalie’s eye. She was so relieved he wasn’t coming today, she’d secretly low-fived Natalie when they were getting coffee in the restaurant earlier. They both smiled at the memory now.

  As they rode down the two-lane highway toward Chichén Itzá, Lauren settled into her seat for the two-hour drive and stared out the window, taking in the thatch-roofed houses—wondering how the seemingly weak structures survived the hot, humid rainstorms that seemed common here. She also wondered how the roadside merchants peddling handmade statues and jewelry made a living wage. So much poverty, yet she hadn’t met one person who didn’t seem happy, who didn’t greet her with a smile and a seemingly open heart. From where did their optimism stem? Back home, Lauren’s morning sometimes went off the rails if someone cut her off on the 405 freeway. That realization shamed her as they crossed through small towns and joyful children kicked soccer balls into rusted goals on desolate dirt-caked fields.

  “Look at that poor little guy,” Ashley said, pointing to a malnourished dog lying on the side of the road. “So many homeless pups. I wish we could take them all home.”

  “It is really sad. That one is missing a tail,” Lauren said, pointing to a black-and-white mutt. “I read that Mexico doesn’t have a shelter system like in the US. The dogs have no place to go.” She thought of Marco’s dog, Spencer. How he’d rescued him. That had been a nice thing to do—maybe she should focus more on the kindness in people and stop being so skeptical.

  “It breaks my heart. Maybe I’ll adopt a dog when I get back home,” Ashley said more to herself than to them, as if she didn’t believe she’d actually do it.

  “So I did some reading about Chichén Itzá and El Castillo last night after you fell asleep,” Natalie said, ignoring her declaration.

  “And?” Ashley asked.

  To Lauren, Ashley’s tone sounded accusatory. She wondered what things were like in their hotel room. There was no escaping each other in their king-size bed.

  “Well, for one, are you aware they closed El Castillo to the public in 2006 after an eighty-year-old woman fell off the steps and died?”

  “I’m sure it was just because she was old, right?” Lauren said.

  “Apparently her fall was the last straw, as there had also been incidents of people vandalizing it. They don’t let anyone up those stairs anymore—or inside.” She gave Ashley a worried look.

  “Hence the private VIP tour,” Ashley said. “I’m sure our guide will make sure we don’t fall off,” she joked, then continued when Natalie didn’t respond with more than wide eyes. “This is going to be an amazing experience. When the ruins close at dusk, our guide will show us around the ruins and expl
ain the mysterious history of the Mayan people. At the end we’ll climb to the top of El Castillo. Think about it—this is like getting access to the Vatican secret archives or Club 33 at Disneyland.” Ashley spoke rapidly, and Lauren asked herself, not for the first time, why it was so important to her that they visit Chichén Itzá. She’d been talking about it nonstop since yesterday.

  “Well, as amazing as it sounds, have you forgotten we’re both CEOs of a pretty well-known company? What if we get caught? The media would have a field day.” Natalie chewed on her lower lip.

  “I doubt that we’ll get caught. I think the Mexican police are pretty busy with the drug war that’s going on,” Ashley said.

  Lauren watched Natalie’s reaction to what Ashley had said. She sensed that Natalie was on the verge of initiating a debate. She was obviously uneasy about the climb, but Lauren knew Ashley was unlikely to give that much weight and back down from her position. Lauren decided to step in, hoping she could be the tiebreaker. “I think Natalie brings up a good point,” Lauren said, and Natalie smiled at her gratefully. It felt a little foreign to take Nat’s side against Ashley. But something had shifted yesterday. Ashley’s alliance with Marco had inadvertently brought Lauren and Natalie closer together, which felt good.

  Ashley pretended to pout, then looked at Natalie. “Fine. I do see your point.”

  Natalie’s face changed quickly from strain to relief. “I really appreciate you setting it up, but I’m going to skip the part where we climb. Is that okay? I’ll be able to keep watch, just in case,” she said. “But the tour sounds amazing.”

  “Always doing the right thing. It can drive me nuts, but I suppose it’s who you are.” Ashley smiled.

  “You have a love-hate relationship with my rule-follower side.” Natalie poked her in the arm.

  “Right now I kind of hate on her, but it’s all good.” She laughed, then turned to Lauren. “What about you?”

  “An illegal climb to the top of a restricted monument? I’m definitely game! If I’ve learned one thing this year, it’s that life is short,” Lauren deadpanned. Then she caught sight of Ashley’s and Natalie’s faces. It was clear they didn’t know how to respond to a joke Annie would have cackled at. As she laid her head against the window and drifted off to sleep, she hoped that one day soon the three of them would be in sync again.