Persephone’s Curse

by Sandra Bats

  I took a shaky breath and buried my face in my hands. Cam put his hand on my shoulder, reminding me that Elin would likely be fine. I pulled myself together. Mainly because I was eager to return to my vigil in case she woke.

  I spent the rest of the night by her side. In the beginning, I woke Jane at every sound Elin made. I was extremely nervous. By morning, I’d either relaxed or was too worn out. Cam offered to sit by her side so I could catch some sleep. I refused, only once leaving for a quick bathroom break. I was desperate to be there when she opened her eyes.

  Shortly before dinner I noticed Elin’s breathing changed. It seemed to become a bit shallower. Jane didn’t consider it alarming though, and went to the cafeteria.

  I held Elin’s hand when her fingers twitched. Almost unnoticeably at first, but then they did it once again. Her sudden motion ran through me like an electric current. Shocked me right out of my dead stupor. I glanced up in time to see her open her eyes.

  “Hey.” My stupid one-word greeting was accompanied by an even stupider, wide grin. She was awake and after blinking once, she focused on my face. I leaned closer, carefully brushing some hair from her face.

  “How’re you feeling?” What a dumb question! She’d almost died, how could she be feeling?

  “Been better.” Her feeble voice sounded rough and tired. She grimaced with pain as she tried to move. She closed her eyes for a second as if she were trying to recall everything that happened. “How bad off am I?”

  I tried putting on a cheery face. “You look worse for wear. Jane said you’ll make a full recovery, though. You had a few deep flesh wounds from the shrapnel. Lost a lot of blood and had to have a transfusion. Two broken ribs from CPR as well.”

  “CPR?”

  I inhaled deeply, the memory itself was still sore. “Your heart stopped. For almost two minutes … You really scared me.”

  My voice broke on that confession. Maybe I was more of a wreck than I’d expected. I leaned in and pressed my forehead to hers. My lips found hers with a sleepwalker’s confidence. I could feel her faint smile the moment before I kissed her.

  Our kiss was soft and gentle. But man did that kiss undo me. Or maybe it was just because of how close I’d gotten to never being able to kiss her again. Even then, my marrow-deep fear lingered. I pulled back way too soon for my liking. I didn’t want to disturb her injuries. Elin swiped her thumb under my eye. Maybe one stray tear escaped. I didn’t care about anything at that moment, except that Elin was awake.

  Twenty-One

  Elin

  It was unbelievable that Chris died. We didn’t have enough time to get to know each other, but he’d always been kind to me, even cheered me up one time when I sulked behind the school after a fight with Jayden. I worried that Jane wasted time and resources saving me, but apparently Jayden was the one who mostly provided first aid to me.

  I tried to sit up, but pain radiated through my side and I dropped back into bed before Jayden told me to be careful so I wouldn’t rip my stitches. He rushed to get Jane, promising she’d give me more painkillers.

  Jane buzzed into the room a moment later, asking how I was feeling but not really listening, instead trusting my vitals to provide her with the necessary information. I didn’t care, as long as she adjusted my IV. It took only a few seconds before the pain decreased and I could breathe a little easier.

  “Besides the pain, what are your symptoms? Any nausea? Dizziness? Confusion?”

  I shook my head at her questions. “Just the pain. But it even hurts when I’m breathing. And I’m incredibly tired even though I just woke up.”

  “That’s normal. The pain is most likely due to your broken ribs and you were barely asleep before, just unconscious. Your body needs a lot of energy to heal from something this big, plus the analgesics make you tired as well. You’re stable enough to be moved to your room. The bed there is probably more comfortable. And sleep actually is the best medicine for you.”

  I forced my eyes to stay open when Jayden carefully moved in to lift me up and carry me to our room. The elastic sway of his steps made me doze off, I could barely hear his hushed voice talking to Jane. I only vaguely recalled being placed on Jayden’s bed before I fully fell asleep.

  ◆◆◆

  I woke sometime in the night, unsure what was different, but knowing something was off. Jayden sat on his side of the bed and I reached out for the bedside lamp.

  His elbows were braced on his knees and his back was against the wall behind the bed. His head rested on his folded hands and he turned to look at me when I asked why he was awake. His voice had a throaty echo when he admitted he hadn’t been able to sleep but that I should just close my eyes and rest. I shook my head, carefully pushing myself into an upright position.

  “I’m ok for now. Tell me what’s going on, so you can catch some sleep too.”

  He gave me a wry smile, closing his eyes for a second and when he opened them again there was a strange vulnerability in them.

  “I can’t stop worrying about you. I keep falling asleep and then I’m scared about whether you’ll be alive when I wake. I can’t shake the memory of you almost dying under my hands last night. I just …” He blew out a heavy sigh. “I just can’t forget it. — Didn’t mean to wake you.” He looked me up and down. “You hurting?” he asked softly.

  “I’m ok,” I couldn’t keep from groaning when I tried to move too much. “I’m all itchy and gross, though. Wish I could clean up a little before going back to sleep.”

  “Well, showering is out of the question. But I could get you some water and a towel to take care of the worst, if you want.”

  It didn’t take him long to return with a bucket of steaming water and a piece of soap. He carefully helped me out of my torn shirt, leaving me in my bra. I glanced down at myself, shocked to see how large a part of my left side was bandaged. Surrounding it was orange disinfectant, and the remnants of blood and grime.

  “Looks bad, huh?” Jayden uttered before he started dabbing the dirt away.

  “Feels worse,” I joked but forgot about my ribs. My fake shrug had me sucking in air at the pain. Jayden grimaced sympathetically. At least the pain distracted me from being embarrassed when he gently wiped the towel over the skin showing above my bra. He helped me into a new shirt, one of his, because they were baggier and made checking my injuries easier.

  When he climbed back into bed afterwards he leaned in for what surely had been intended as a chaste good-night-kiss. It quickly turned into more. I was still injured, had almost died that day but I’d never felt more complete than I did in Jayden’s arms when he kissed me like I was all he needed to survive.

  His fingers tangled in my hair, tilted my head back as he moved his lips along the side of my throat and whispered against my skin.

  “What are you doing to me, sweetheart?”

  I giggled at how breathless and surprised he sounded and then — avoiding an answer — I turned his question on him and asked what he was doing to me.

  “I’m making you fall in love with me.” I held my breath because his words clenched around my heart like a hug and his unsure look made it even better when he pressed another kiss to my lips before he went on mumbling into my skin. “If you think I shouldn’t have said that, don’t say anything. If you think this is a bad idea, please don’t tell me. Not tonight.”

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his mouth back up to mine. My voice was barely a whisper.

  “It might be working.”

  His lingering kiss was proof enough that he’d heard every word I’d spoken. He filled it with as much emotion as possible, his thumbs brushing along my cheeks and his breath tasting like vanilla, or maybe I was just thinking that because it was the most exotic taste I knew and there was really no flavor to describe the way Jayden tasted.

  Unfortunately, my body wasn’t up to par with my mind and I tired far too quickly, making Jayden urge me to lie back down and retreat to his side of the bed. Still, he lay closer to
me than before, his hand was gently combing through the strands of my hair as I fell asleep, dreaming of sunny kisses and promises of a future.

  ◆◆◆

  When I woke again it was from a knock at the door, which caused Jayden to groan and roll out of bed in time with the second knock. Hastily, he threw his pillow and blanket onto the couch — our sleeping arrangement was still our secret — and then opened the door for Jane who’d come by to check on me. She sent Jayden from the room, telling him to get breakfast for both of us, then checked my vitals and bandages while talking to me.

  “I saw your burn marks during surgery.”

  She turned her back, lifting her shirt so I could see that she carried the same scars. “I don’t know if Jayden told you, but I was in the labs before they made me their doctor. And I don’t know whether you talk to Jayden about what happened to you, but I wanted you to know that if you ever needed someone to talk — someone who understands — I’m here.”

  The sudden streak of sympathy Jane displayed struck me as a surprise. It was so unusual for her that it meant even more. I thanked her but explained that I did have Jayden to talk about my past.

  She showed no hurt feelings, I imagined that maybe she was even relieved because people skills weren’t exactly Jane’s strong suit. Those had been Jayden’s words, at least. My thoughts were interrupted by Jayden returning with two bowls filled with a weird beige mush. Jane let us know that I was doing well so far and should keep resting. When she was done and almost turned to leave the room she grinned at Jayden.

  “Just for future reference: if you want people to believe you slept on the couch, people who sleep on couches are grumpy and have an aching back. They don’t smile like you do.”

  We grinned sheepishly and before we could respond, Jane had already disappeared, leaving us to our breakfast.

  As it turned out, Jayden had been interrogated about my health half a dozen times and I was surprised at how much people actually worried about me, despite them still mourning Chris. Jayden stated that I was family now and as such they’d try to suffocate me in the most well-meant way because they worried.

  Going to the bathroom turned out to be a bit difficult that morning. For one I was a bit dizzy — Jane said it was the result of the blood loss I’d suffered — and secondly Jayden was worried I’d slip and fall. He insisted I couldn’t go to the bathroom on my own. At least I managed to talk him out of carrying me there, but he did wrap his arm around my shoulders to steady me. Well, he said that was why he did, but I joked about him merely wanting to mark me as his territory.

  I sat on the bench in the locker room, trying to catch my breath while he gently slipped the T-shirt aside, revealing the dark purple hickey he had given me last night, his voice barely louder than a whisper.

  “If I wanted to mark my turf, this is what I’d do. If I didn’t think you’d take it badly to be considered anybody’s territory. So, I’m not marking anything.”

  “Right. That’s why you follow me into the bathroom,” I joked, handing him my IV bag as I went into the stall. He held it over the top of the wall, making sure it wouldn’t dislodge from my hand.

  “Nope. This is purely for medical reasons. Same rules apply for everyone who’s injured. One time I had to shower with Cam right there so I wouldn’t fall and hurt myself. You think peeing with me here is awkward just imagine Cam helping me shower. That’s weird.”

  I giggled a little and then without thinking I told him that the next time I’d help him get cleaned up like he’d helped me the night before. Jayden sucked in his breath and then quietly stated that he’d always be willing to let me do that — even without being injured. Once done and dressed I took the IV bag back from him and opened the door, completely unprepared for how quickly Jayden cradled me close.

  He held me gently, always mindful of my injuries, but his mouth crushed to mine, not gently at all as we were chest to chest, my back pressed against the wall and I kissed him back feverishly. My shaking legs would have failed me if his arm around my waist hadn’t kept me upright. My hands were shaking so badly I was about to drop the IV bag, but Jayden took it from my trembling fingers.

  All I could do was wrap my arms around his neck, pull his mouth closer to mine and hold him there. My heart raced so fast it should’ve hurt my strained ribs but instead it felt just right, I felt just right. That time Jayden pulled back, still holding me close and the blazing passion in his eyes was quickly replaced with worry as he searched my face.

  “You’re not going to faint on me, are you?”

  ◆◆◆

  I opened my eyes to Jayden anxiously kneeling next to me and my legs propped up on the bench. It took a moment for all my senses to return, sight first, then hearing and slowly I also felt the chill of the tiles seep into my back, realizing that I must’ve fainted right into Jayden’s arms. There was no discussion about me walking back to the room, he just picked me up, announcing he’d get Jane to check on me as soon as I was back in bed.

  “I’m fine. I just fainted. Not like it’s a big deal. Besides, she’ll ask what I did before fainting and then what are we going to tell her?”

  Jayden scoffed, kicking the door to our room shut and setting me down on the bed. “The truth. Making out with me can’t be embarrassing enough that you’d risk your life for it.”

  “I just fainted. I’m not about to die.”

  “You had a serious injury and you fainted, yes. You could have internal bleeding or a blood clot in your brain, for all I know. I already lost a friend this week, I’m not losing you because you’re too ashamed of making out with me.”

  He slammed the door as he exited the room. So, maybe I was childish, but that gave him no right to decide what was best for me. Of course the last few days had been hard on him. I knew he was still mourning Chris, but he didn’t understand what telling Jane meant. He didn’t think of the consequences, of people looking at us differently, people judging me, because it was always the girl who was judged, never the guy. I was so terrified I could barely move when the door opened again.

  I wondered what he’d told Jane as she checked my blood pressure, then the injuries for infections or ripped stitches and asked whether I’d hit my head in the fall. How was I supposed to know? I’d been unconscious. Jayden replied that he’d caught me in time.

  His arms were crossed in front of his chest, his answers curt, and he avoided eye contact with me until Jane asked the dreaded question of what I’d been doing prior to fainting. I hesitated. Jayden looked at me with his jaw locked, then shook his head in annoyance and turned to Jane.

  “We were kissing. Right before she fainted she was swaying, and her knees didn’t keep her steady. I thought it was my doing, but apparently it was just good old low blood pressure.”

  Jane stared at him for a while, then she looked at me and eventually declared that this was exactly why I should be resting, because my body was still unable to keep my blood pressure up once my pulse spiked.

  “You know, if walking to the bathroom could be too much for her body, making out definitely is. Seems it was your doing, after all. Just take it easy for a while,” she reprimanded him.

  She playfully winked at us before closing the door and leaving us in silence. A silence that made me wish Jane back into the room. Eventually, Jayden seemed to ease up a little, but he remained by the door, his gaze locked onto the bed instead of my eyes. I spoke as he seemed to fumble for words “I’m sorry. I’m not ashamed of being with you.”

  He raised an eyebrow. At least he looked at me. “Really? Because I don’t understand what your issue is. I’m trying to be patient and all that shit, but I have no idea what I’m doing here.”

  “It’s not you …”

  He scoffed and laughed humorously. “That’s the worst line in the world. ‘It’s not you, it’s me’. Seriously, you can do better than that. I don’t get what I’m doing that makes you so afraid. So scared that you don’t want to tell anyone about us, even if it’s about your
health. I’m not pushing you. I’m giving you nothing but time, but this? Keeping information from Jane that could be important? That’s just too much.”

  His voice was controlled and perfectly level, and I recognized the signs of resignation in the way his shoulders slouched. I was so terrified he’d simply turn and leave the room that I had no control over what came out of my mouth.

  “I’m scared! I’ve lost everybody who ever meant anything to me and I don’t want to lose you but once they know about us, there will be pressure and they will judge me and I know that once the time comes you’ll grow tired of me I won’t be able to stand it. You’ll get to the point where you’ll want a normal girl, one who isn’t broken and messed up, but I can’t be that. You can’t really want this! Everything about relationships is new to me and you’ll have to wait for me to be ready for every little baby step. So when you move on I’ll let you go because it’s best for you and I won’t be able to do that if I let myself fall and let this overwhelm me now.”

  My chest was burning, not only because of my broken ribs being jostled by rapid breathing, but also because my heart was aching, waiting for him to understand that I was right, that maybe he was already tired of the broken, weak person that I was. Jayden stared at me for a moment. He drew a breath, looking like he was going to speak but then he closed his mouth again, instead climbing onto the bed, straddling my legs and bracing his hands to the wall on either side of my head, giving me no possibility to hide, letting him see all of my ugly uncertainty and insecurity.

  He breathed my name, brushed his lips over mine, then uttered my name again. It felt like a promise that I hadn’t just painted an accurate picture of the future.