Persephone’s Curse

by Sandra Bats

  Elin snuggled into my arm, her hand tracing a pattern across my chest.

  “I was scared,” Elin murmured. “When you came back, I didn’t even care if they saw me kissing you. I wasn’t sure before then, you know. I thought maybe we could be official but keep a low profile, but that all went out the window when I saw you there. I worried I’d lost you.”

  I knew that feeling. Could remember it all too well. The sudden dimness of a future without her. Her words stirred something in me. I brushed my fingers over her cheek and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

  “You’re never going to get rid of me, you know.”

  She pulled back enough to give me a stern look. “What about Abby? If Rowan has information on her, you’ll need to find out what it is. I won’t stop you. I don’t want you in danger but I understand that you need to find out if he told you the truth.”

  “Yeah. Not tonight though. Tonight, I don’t even want to think about it.” I brushed my thumb over her knuckles and she flinched. I glanced down to find them raw. Raw like they were after punching something.

  “What happened to you?” I asked.

  She grinned sheepishly. “Cam gave me a boxing lesson.”

  “Ah. He must’ve been real pissed at me then.” I laughed. Cam sometimes, when he was pissed at the world, or me for making Josh grow up too fast, let his anger out on punching bags.

  Surprise colored her face. “You know about that?”

  “That he’s hitting the punching bags and imagining it’s me when I pissed him off? Yeah. Well, I’m glad about it. He did punch me once. My face is too pretty for his right hook. Besides, I might deserve it for using Josh against him. Were you angry at me, too?”

  Elin shook her head and sat on the couch. “No. Just a bit frustrated over staying behind.”

  “Well, I could make up for it.” I grinned and leaned in close.

  When Elin let me kiss her, I felt at peace. With her, I managed to forget my surroundings and relax. She made everything a little brighter, a little easier.

  ◆◆◆

  February and March passed. April rolled around without incident. Pablo recovered from his bullet wound. The snow had melted. Elin hadn’t gotten bored with me yet. We kept an eye out for Rowan, but he disappeared as expected.

  Cam was telling me about Josh’s newest escapades. I had a hard time focusing, though. Instead, I stared at Elin. She stood towards the back of the cafeteria, chatting with Kathy. I knew they were talking about what to grow in the atrium. They were getting ready to plant now that the snow was gone, and I could see the excitement pouring off of Elin. Her hands moved about as she spoke and her body language was giddy.

  The same hands that had raised gooseflesh all over my skin that morning. The same body that had arched into my touch, trying to get closer.

  As if she knew I was thinking of her, she turned. She smiled one of those small smiles she only ever smiled for me. Then bit her lip for just the briefest second. It’d become her way of torturing me since I’d told her how hot it was.

  Cam kicked my shin under the table. “Dude, you’re not even listening to me.”

  “Yes, I am,” I lied. “You said Josh was being childish and trying to grow up too fast.”

  “Nope. Actually, I’ve just been stringing random words behind each other for the last thirty seconds.”

  “Really?” I hadn’t thought I’d been that out of it.

  “Yeah. Since obviously my life isn’t that interesting, you wanna talk about something else? Or someone?”

  I grinned then stared at my hands. Tried feigning nonchalance. “We’re good.”

  “Good, huh? Did you guys …?”

  I rolled my eyes at his curiosity. “Nope. I’m still suffering.”

  “Is it worth it?” Cam joked.

  I looked over at Elin. She was still talking, completely oblivious to what she was doing to me when she threw her hair back or tilted her head a little when she laughed.

  “Yeah. Every painfully hard day. Pun intended.”

  I was sure Cam’s response would’ve been witty and sharp. Luckily, he kept it to himself as Elin sat down at our table. I tried idle conversation as she ate.

  “So, you and Kathy know what you’re going to plant?”

  “Yes!” Her face lit up. “We thought about planting quinoa now and red amaranth later in the year, cause quinoa is better for colder weather. Takes about three months to grow. Next to that, we’ll plant green beans. They’ll be ready to harvest in two months or so, and if we keep reseeding them, we’ll have beans all through fall. Kathy will can what we don’t eat, for winter. Oh, and radishes. Kathy says it’ll spice up the food. And rosemary and sage as spices too.” She clapped her hands in excitement. “It’ll be awesome. And broccoli in late summer. Tonight, in town I want to find a farmer. They should’ve sowed already so if they have any leftovers, maybe we could buy those cheap. We’ll have so much food! You won’t regret me doing this.”

  Her hands moved all over the place. I shook my head at her.

  “What’s so funny?” she asked.

  “You! You get all excited about crops. It’s cute.”

  I leaned over and kissed her. She leaned forward, her hands resting on my thighs. Cam was talking to Pablo. Man, even if he hadn’t been, I couldn’t have cared less. Elin’s breath tickled my skin as she bent close to my ear.

  “You do look like you didn’t get much sleep last night, you know.” Her whisper was low. I nearly groaned at the memory. Me not sleeping much had had very little to do with the intel mission we’d been on and so much more with her having driven me nuts with her kisses and little innuendos.

  “You’re really not very helpful right now,” I muttered.

  “No?” She faked surprise. “I thought I was helping with all sorts of things.”

  I was about to kiss her again but stopped in my tracks when Cam called out my name. “We need to run through tasks and inventory!”

  I plastered a smile on my face, halfway turning towards him. “You know, I think it’s time I give you more responsibility. You’ve earned it. I’m sure you’ll handle it just fine.”

  I didn’t give him time to object, just laughed when I heard him call after me as I quickly got up — something inside urged me to grab Elin and rush to our room. There was no stopping me.

  ◆◆◆

  Elin stood in our room and the light reflected off her hair, turning it all different shades of red, from copper to burgundy. Her eyes watched me intently. Expectantly. I could see her chest heaving with every breath she took. She didn’t see it, but she was beautiful.

  I took a step closer and buried my hands in her hair. Tilted her head back so I could touch my lips to hers. I teased her a bit, brushing my lips over hers, then pulling back again. I liked those moments. The ones when I just hovered there, breathing her air. She got on her toes, trying to press her lips to mine. I straightened up a bit, just out of her reach. Elin huffed and grabbed my collar to pull me close again.

  “Mhm bossy,” I muttered just before I kissed her.

  She kissed me back, her hands moving from my collar under my shirt. She drove me crazy just like that. I brushed my fingers over her cheeks, over her soft skin. Down over the curve of her waist. Rustled the fabric of her shirt as I did.

  I pressed her back against the wall. Braced on one arm, my other rested at her waist. My fingers itched to sneak under her shirt. To touch the sliver of naked skin that showed right above her waistband.

  Her hand moved over my chest. Her cold skin was a sensual shock. Her fingers trembled the slightest bit. They always did. Like a hum of electricity was constantly transmitted through them. Her eyes were steady on mine when she pulled back to catch her breath. I dropped my head to her shoulder and kissed the soft skin right beneath her earlobe.

  “Do you even know what your teasing does to me?” I asked helplessly.

  The question had left my mouth between kisses. Man, I wasn’t even surprised at how husky my v
oice sounded. She stroked a hand through my hair.

  “I do. Wanted to let you know what was on my mind,” she whispered.

  It sounded like more teasing, but I knew Elin well enough to recognize it as honesty. I lifted my head to look at her. Might’ve raised an eyebrow in surprise as her words sunk in.

  “My, Elin! Are you telling me you were trying to let me know you’re feeling a little frisky?”

  Her reaction spoke more than words could have. Her cheeks, already flushed, darkened more. Her eyes shifted aside for a brief second in the cutest, most bashful gesture. She bit her lip like she was begging me to bend down and kiss her again. Like that would get her out of answering my question. As if that was going to make me forget how much I wanted to hear her answer. She gave a small tilt of her head, almost unnoticeable, if not for the muttered “maybe” that accompanied it.

  I tried thinking of something to say. Something smart. Or charming. Even just anything that wouldn’t sound like some stupid line. I asked what she was going to do about it.

  I wanted to smack myself. Whatever had happened to my penchant for sweet-talking? It was as if she’d completely knocked my brain out. Well, there was that. I tried pulling myself together and looked for something smarter. Didn’t really come up with anything.

  “That was a cheesy and dumb thing of me to say, wasn’t it? Please forget that ever happened,” I sputtered.

  It might not have been the smartest thing I ever came up with, but it made her chuckle and relax a little. She leaned into me, her head against my chest. The sound she made was somewhere between a moan and a huff.

  “What?” I asked, brushing a stray lock from her face.

  “It’s embarrassing.” She looked up at me. Eyes wide and insecure.

  “Oh, come on. I just made a total fool of myself. And I’m supposedly the experienced one here. Whatever’s on your mind can’t be as bad as that stuff I just spouted. C’mon, tell me. I won’t laugh.”

  A soft frown wrinkled her forehead as she leaned back against the door. I wanted to reach out and smooth those lines from her skin. She let out another puff of air.

  “It’s just so frustrating!” She glanced down at her hands. “I want you … but I’m not ready for that. And I just feel so … ugh … and I know it must be as bad for you, right? I mean, damn it. I just don’t know what to do!”

  I stared at her for a moment. Scratched the back of my neck in a distracted gesture and tried choosing my words carefully.

  “You’re asking me what I’m doing about feeling horny when we make out?” She blushed. I exhaled a deep breath and shrugged uneasily. “Well, cold showers are supposed to help.”

  “Do they?”

  I grinned. “Not the least bit. Not when I know that I’m just going to come back to you right after.”

  “What else then? I feel like I’m losing my mind. I’m all wound up and needy.”

  She whispered the last word. I contemplated lying because it would have been the subtle thing to do. I’d told her to ask anything though. She was trusting me with this despite it obviously embarrassing her.

  “Well, it’s not a big help, but good old handwork does take the edge off a bit.”

  She frowned. I could almost see the wheels turning in her head. Her mouth formed a small oh. She glimpsed down, blushed bright red and looked everywhere else but at me.

  “Oh! I didn’t … I don’t know … I never have …” Her eyes snapped back up to mine, her voice a whisper but steady with curiosity. “How?”

  “How?” I repeated.

  Took a second to slowly sink in. She’d been imprisoned for most of her teen life. Lived on the streets afterwards. Of course this hadn’t been her priority. Sometimes I forgot how little she knew about such things. It occurred to me that I had no idea how much she did know. By that point, she was embarrassed, and I felt a little off, too. Nothing left to lose there.

  “You do know what an orgasm is though, don’t you?”

  Smart of me. Instead of an answer she shoved me. Gave me an annoyed look and rolled her eyes.

  “Of course I know that! Just because I never did anything doesn’t mean I’m stupid!”

  She raised an eyebrow to mock me and we both laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation. That at least made it a little easier. I held my hands up in an apology.

  “Ok, that was a dumb question. Ok, well …” I paused to think about it. “Let me show you.”

  Her eyes widened, and she took a tiny step back. She pressed into the door behind her. I was an idiot. A complete helpless and dumb idiot.

  “I’m not ready.”

  “I know,” I interrupted her right there. “I wasn’t trying to … I didn’t mean that we …” That went great. I took a deep breath. “We’re not going to have sex. I need you to believe me that we won’t, ok.”

  “Well, of course we won’t.”

  There she was again. All defensive and tense. I sighed and brushed my fingertips over her cheeks.

  “No, listen because I’m really bad explaining this. I wasn’t even implying that. I know you’re not ready. I’m just asking you to trust that I know that. That I’m not going to try that and that I think I can actually show you something you might be ready for.”

  I was really eloquent there. She stared at me like I was trying to coax her into giving up her virtue. After all, this was Elin. Elin, who made my blood run hot and made me stumble over the words in my mouth.

  She inhaled shakily then softly said she trusted me.

  “Ok. Well, promise me something.” She looked up expectantly, waiting for me to go on. “If you feel uncomfortable or rushed or anything, tell me. I need to trust that you’ll tell me if I’m doing something you don’t want me to. This isn’t the place for feeling embarrassed at not wanting something, ok?”

  She promised and I stared at her. Why were my hands shaking? It wasn’t like I was going to sleep with her. This was just going to be about making her feel good. Why was this so much more difficult with her than it had been with any other woman? I looked at her. A hesitant smile tugged at the corners of her mouth and it all fell into place. This was Elin.

  Never before had I cared about what would happen afterwards. Yeah, I’d tried treating women well, but it’d never been about them. Not until it was about Elin. I wanted her to not regret this. I wanted her happy and safe. I wanted her to … I wanted her.

  Not that it was a new thought, but it had never been so clear in all its consequences. It had always been an abstract thought along the lines of someday. This wasn’t sex, but it was the next step and she looked at me expectantly. I pushed away from her for a moment, making her frown.

  “Hang on.”

  I turned and quickly strode over to the window. I pulled the curtains closed. She still stood by the door. Leaned forward a bit and bounced on the balls of her feet. I took a few steps towards her, then held my hand out to her.

  “Come here,” I murmured and pulled her close for a kiss.

  Thirty-One

  Elin

  He was nervous and I felt it in the way he kissed me. It was at once endearing and nerve-wracking to know that he was just as jittery as I was. I started losing myself in his kisses. We collapsed onto the bed. Jayden hovered above me and I longed to feel his skin, eagerly dragging his shirt up over his head. Feeling his chest pressed on mine reassured me that this was Jayden, whom I trusted and who loved me.

  While his hands were gentle on my body, his mouth was hot against mine and we were both breathless. He pushed my shirt up, it hit the floor silently, and without respite his mouth moved over my body, making me shiver. I pulled him back up, kissing him again and arching into his touch, sighing each time his fingers brushed my skin.

  He carefully nudged the waistband of my jeans lower, gently tugged on the button and zipper. I grew hesitant for a moment, holding my breath. But I knew that ultimately everything was under my control.

  I stared at him and released a shaky breath. His eyes eagerly
absorbed every one of my reactions, ready to stop when I’d tell him, but I nodded in reassurance. I had goose bumps from the cold air grazing my overheated skin, when Jayden carefully brushed his hands up over my legs.

  His mouth met mine again, his eyes still open, watching me. I was watching too, excitedly anticipating what he’d do next, gasping when his fingers softly brushed along the hem of my panties, making me shift. My body seemingly had a mind of its own.

  I gasped again when I felt the pressure of his fingers against me, just the flimsy fabric separated his skin from mine and — wow, it felt good — it made me crave his touch even more. I squirmed, not really sure if I tried moving closer or farther away. I was only peripherally aware that he’d snuck his fingers under my panties as those perfectly lazy kisses diverted my attention, the kind of kisses that were in such stark contrast to everything else going on and they calmed me, kept me from losing my mind altogether.

  My breath sped up, everything felt so surreal, this couldn’t even be me — I was sure I couldn’t take much more yet I moved into his touch. I moaned against Jayden’s lips as my longing built to a point where it became almost unbearable, but it still felt … oh … so good. My fingers were clenched into the sheet, I tried to hold myself together but it felt like I was slowly shattering.

  Blood rushed in my ears and my heart hammered against my ribs. I wanted to tell him that it was too good to bear, that I couldn’t take any more but all that escaped my throat was a moan that sounded more like whimpered begging. I wasn’t sure what I was begging for, but Jayden seemed to translate it somehow, undoing me. My muscles tensed on their own accord, tingling warmth spread through my body. I sighed, might have moaned, and definitely panted rapid breaths.

  Eventually the warmth ebbed, and that tension slowly pulled from my body, leaving me exhausted and strangely sated. Jayden cradled me against his chest, wrapping me in his arms and for a few minutes I just listened to his breathing.

  I was still processing and hadn’t said a word to Jayden, but I felt as if I should. I worried he might think me selfish if I wouldn’t do something to make him feel as good as he’d made me feel.