Our Song

by Runow, Lauren

  Adam turns his expression to me, making my heart flutter.

  “Daddy.” Cailin comes running up and into his arms.

  “Hey there, Sugarplum,” he says as they rub noses before putting her down. “Go get back in line with your class.”

  She waves her goodbye and joins her other classmates.

  My happiness halts when my eyes meet with Mrs. Everson’s, Ashley’s mom. She glares at me and then Adam before flipping her hair and storming off.

  I try not to let her ruin my joy, and instead, I turn my smile back to Adam before saying good-bye. Heading back to my class, I guide them the rest of the way for the parade.

  * * *

  My mom stays until the first recess and is quick to get back to the topic of the day. “So, how long have you known Adam?”

  I take a deep breath, not sure where she’s going with this. “A few weeks,” I say as I lean down to pick up some papers on a student’s desk.

  She stops me by putting her hand on my arm. “Sarah.”

  I meet her eyes, and I can read them like a book. “Don’t say it, Mom.”

  “I’m not saying anything.” She feigns innocence.

  “Yeah, but I know what you’re thinking. He’s a great guy, and I’m really falling for him.”

  “I wasn’t lying when I said I noticed there’d been a change in you.” She sighs as she looks around the room where she practically lived for thirty years. “I know you don’t love it here. I didn’t realize how unhappy you’d been until these past weeks. I see that shine in your eyes again, and your smile is genuine now. I just worry about you. I want to make sure you’re stable enough to go back to that world.”

  I crumble the piece of paper I was holding and toss it into the trash. “Don’t worry. I’m not. He lives here now, remember? Far away from other people in the industry.”

  I step away, and she reaches out for me.

  “That’s not what I mean. We just worry about you.”

  “We or you?”

  “You know your father worries just as much.”

  “Enough to let me live my life and not judge Adam before he even gives him a chance?” Her head drops, and I have my answer. “That’s not fair, and you know it.”

  “Just come clean with him. Talk to him, so he can understand.”

  “Understand what? That I’m finally happy? That the man of my dreams is saying I’m his girlfriend? This has nothing to do with what he does for a living when it comes to how I feel about him. He’s an amazing man and father and shouldn’t be judged as anything but.”

  I head out the door, and am surprised when she allows me. I know she has my back here, telling Adam she noticed how happy I’d been, but when we’re around my father, it’s a totally different story. She’s right about one thing; I need to just come clean and stand up to the man.

  * * *

  Adam picked Cailin up after school, and I told them I’d meet up with them later for trick-or-treating. I didn’t tell him why, and thankfully, he didn’t ask.

  After changing quickly, I pull up to church. Before I can second-guess myself, I head straight to my dad’s office.

  When I open the door, he glances up. The face that normally smiles sweetly when he sees me is completely gone. A glare in its place makes my stomach turn as he tosses his pencil on the desk and leans back.

  “I had a visit from a parent of a student in your class,” he says, hiding none of the anger in his voice.

  “A parent of mine?” I ask, confused. “Who?”

  “Mrs. Everson stopped by to express her concerns about who you’re hanging out with and your influence on her daughter.”

  I want to scream. The gall of that woman.

  She knew going to my father would be more impactful than going to Principal McAllister. I just don’t understand people who want to interfere in someone else’s life.

  I’m done though. I’m sick of people judging me, judging Adam for no reason other than what they perceive.

  I step toward his desk, not backing down. “Did she tell you he’s a father of another student?”

  “Yes, actually, she did. I’m guessing this is the friend you spoke of that you were up with at Mix Canyon too. I looked into it and found out he’d been hiding her for years. What kind of father does that? Poor girl was raised by nannies on the road while I’m sure he was on drugs, too high to actually take care of her.”

  He pushes me over the edge, and I can’t hold back anymore. “No! That’s nothing like what happened. You’re assuming that, but you know nothing about how much of an amazing father he’s been the entire time. He only kept her a secret to protect her.”

  He pushes back and stands up to face my same stance. “Exactly, Sarah. To protect his daughter from the awful lifestyle he leads. He didn’t want what happened to you to happen to her.”

  I know he meant that as a slap in the face, but I’m over his words and how he uses them to hurt me to get what he wants.

  “This is nowhere near the same thing.”

  “Yes, it is. You just can’t see it because you’re blinded by the glitz and glamour that’s behind him.”

  Is that really what he thinks this is all about? Being famous? I wanted to touch people with my music. That has nothing to do with glitz and glamour.

  “You’re being ridiculous. Do you realize his daughter is the same little girl who sang on the stage with me a few weeks ago?”

  His eyes waver, but he doesn’t change his tone. “I guess she was lucky to have those nannies. At least he was smart enough to hire them to raise her.”

  This man is so frustrating. Will I ever get him to listen to what I’m saying?

  “No, Dad, he raised her to be the little girl you saw. The nannies only watched her when he was onstage. Otherwise, he was by her side. He loves her more than anything. How can you judge him like that? Do you not practice what you preach? Matthew 7: Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

  “Don’t use a Bible verse on me! I can judge him because that’s who he is. I showed you the article in the paper about the riot they caused. I’m not judging because it’s the truth.”

  I drop my shoulders, pleading with him to actually hear the words I’m saying. “No. If you actually read the entire article, you would have seen that they helped stop the riot, finished their entire performance, and then visited the few who had been injured in the hospital.”

  “Oh, how nice of them. They visited the people they’d injured. So, if David had visited you in the hospital after killing your friends and trying to kill you, it would have made it okay?”

  My face drops. “How dare you compare the two things. You know they’re two completely different situations.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. They are not. God is looking down on you just as he was looking down on them, guiding them on the path to righteousness.”

  My blood boils as I clench my teeth and close my eyes. I know whatever I say won’t make a difference. He made up his mind before I even walked through the door.

  I decide to take the high road. “That’s really sad, Dad. That you, a man of God, would not give another human being the chance to prove their worthiness before you toss them to the curb. But what about me? Your daughter. Doesn’t my happiness mean anything to you? I’ve been living the life you wanted me to live, and yet I feel like I’m dying inside. The person I am here is not me. Adam has made me happy. Why don’t you want me to live the life I want?”

  I turn to leave, and he yells after me, “You tried that, remember? And someone tried to murder you for doing so. You will end this, Sarah. I forbid it.”

  I stop and stare him right in the eye. “Well then, it’s a good thing I’m not a little girl anymore, and I get to live my life the way I choose. You have no say in the matter.”

  He holds up his hand. “God is watching you.”

  “I know. He’s watching
you too.” I exit his church, not sure if I’ll ever step foot in it again.

  27

  Sarah

  Once I’m able to breathe without fuming, I head to Adam’s to take Cailin trick-or-treating.

  Cailin comes running out of the house. “Yay! Let’s go trick-or-treating!” She gives me a big hug, and it’s the final thing I need to get me back to my happy place, away from my dad and his close-mindedness.

  Adam steps out of the house to join us on the front porch. “She’s been bouncing off the walls, waiting for you.” He leans in to kiss me and stops short. “Everything okay?”

  I thought I’d be able to hide my emotions, but I guess my puffy eyes gave it away. I smile and lean in to kiss him. “Everything’s fine. We can talk later, but don’t worry.” I place my hand on Cailin’s shoulder. “Do you have your bag ready?”

  She grabs it from the front step and holds it up high. “Right here! Now, let’s go.”

  She runs toward Adam’s truck. We’re going to our downtown where they offer a stroll for the kids to get candy from the businesses and show off their costumes to the community.

  Adam wraps his arm around my back and pulls me into him. He doesn’t say anything, but his touch is soothing and exactly what I need.

  After we park, Adam hops out of the car with his hat pulled low. At the zoo in a bigger city, the hat worked well to disguise him, but in this small country town, he sticks out like a sore thumb.

  I’ve heard whispers of people asking if they’ve seen him yet or wondering if the rumors are true, but there’s no stopping the gossip wheel now.

  As we head down the block, people gawk as we walk by, and I notice others across the street pulling out their phones to take pictures. A few ask to shake Adam’s hand, and more than one gives us dirty looks.

  Adam’s sole focus is on his daughter and the fact that he’s finally able to take her trick-or-treating without hiding behind a costume, so no one knows who he is. His only role in life at this moment is being a father, and he’s loving every second.

  I’m in awe that he can ignore the comments, looks, and everything that’s happening around him.

  After we hit up every business in town, we head to a new part of our city where the streets are fully lit, so she can do some real trick-or-treating at people’s houses. Adam and I stay back as she approaches each house, ready to show off her gown to the people who open the door.

  I love seeing her joy as she runs from house to house with a group of kids we ended up hooking up with. She doesn’t know them, but their common quest for candy was all they needed to welcome her into their fun.

  I notice one of the parents who attends our church.

  “Sarah, is that you?” she says, covering her eyes from the overhead streetlight to see me better.

  “Hi, Danielle. Is that Joey in the baseball uniform?”

  She smiles with pride. “Sure is. I guess it saves money if he wants to wear his uniform as his costume.” She laughs as she shrugs.

  “Hey, take it. Costumes can be expensive.”

  She walks closer, and I pause, feeling weird not introducing her to Adam, but not sure if he wants to be introduced. I don’t even know what the protocol is when it comes to someone like him. I know he likes being just Adam Tyler in these situations, but what if she wants to meet Adam Jacobson?

  Thankfully, she doesn’t even give him a second glance as she puts her hand on my arm. “I just wanted to tell you how amazing your performance was last week at church.”

  I’m speechless. “Oh, um, well, thank you very much.”

  “Really, it blew me away. I knew you could sing, but wow, not like that.” She turns to Adam and smiles. “She might even put you to shame, rock star.”

  A harsh laugh escapes my lips for two reasons. I can’t believe she just tried to show him up like that, but I also love that she was so nonchalant about who he was, not afraid to say anything and not treating him any differently than a normal person.

  “Maybe I’ll get her to sing with me sometime,” Adam quickly returns.

  My body freezes. He can’t be serious. There’s no way in hell.

  “Now, that’s a show I’d want to see.” She turns after her son calls her name. “Bye, you two.” She waves, and just as easy as she arrived, she’s gone, leaving me stunned.

  Adam starts to walk, and it takes me a second to catch up, but when I hear his question, I wish I had stayed behind.

  “So, tell me about this song.”

  I chuckle under my breath. “Oh, it was nothing.” I try to blow off the subject.

  He pulls me closer to him. “Obviously, she was impressed. How was it different than your other songs?”

  I shrug. “Let’s just say, it’s a newer age song, so the tempo was more her wavelength.”

  “I’d love to hear you sing it.”

  Memories of my conversation with my dad come pouring back, making my body tense. I’m thankful when Cailin comes running up with a bag so full that she can hardly carry it.

  “Dad, here. I can’t even hold this.” She lugs it up to him.

  “I’d say it’s time to go then.”

  Cailin says goodbye to her newly made friends, and we make our way to his truck.

  Once we’re at his house and Cailin gets a few pieces of candy, we get her ready for bed and promise to go through the rest of it, so she can attack it in the upcoming days.

  After putting her down to bed, Adam stands at the kitchen counter, holding up two pieces of candy. “Kit Kat or Snickers?”

  I rummage through the bag. “I’m more of a peanut M&M’s kind of gal.”

  He takes both and opens the Snickers first. “Your loss. I’ll have both.”

  “Should we feel bad for stealing her candy?”

  He gives me a deadpan expression. “Seriously? Have you seen the loot she got? We’re saving her teeth and a future dental bill. I’ll slowly toss it out, and she won’t even notice.”

  I playfully hit his stomach. “You wouldn’t.”

  After popping the last bite of the mini Snickers in his mouth, he says, “Watch me.”

  I shake my head, laughing under my breath as I pull out the M&M’s and pop one in my mouth.

  “So, now that you have chocolate, want to talk about what happened today?” He lowers his head to catch my eyes with the most inviting smile I’ve seen all day.

  I can’t help the grin that follows even though I don’t want to bring back the memories from today.

  When I don’t say anything, he steps closer and grabs my hands in his. “Please tell me it wasn’t because of me. I wondered what would happen after meeting your mom today. Did she tell your dad we’re dating?”

  I shake my head, still in disbelief. “No, actually, a mom from my class went to him.”

  His eyes squint in confusion. “What? Why would she do that?”

  I drop my shoulders and sigh into the air below me, trying to figure out how to help Adam understand the dynamics of this town. “This mom already came to me, saying she was unhappy about me seeing you.”

  “And you didn’t tell me?” His eyes widen, making me feel guilty for not telling him sooner. “Sarah, why would you keep something like that from me?”

  “I thought I had handled it. I didn’t want to worry you about me or Cailin at school.”

  “This is more than just us. This is my daughter’s school. Sarah, you can’t keep this kind of stuff from me. I need to know what’s going on with Cailin and you.” His eyebrows rise, and I can tell he’s serious.

  My stomach feels like it’s in my throat. I didn’t think he’d get so upset. I also wasn’t thinking about Cailin.

  “I put her in her place, and she never went to the principal like she threatened. I saw her there today though. She knew how to get me back even worse than going to my boss.”

  “By going to your dad? What is this, high school?”

  I laugh out loud. “Some things never change in small towns. My dad might only be the pastor,
but he runs this town. The mayor, the city council members, even the police chief turn to him for guidance. It’s like we’re stuck in the olden days.”

  “Then, what did he say?”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m an adult. God is watching him just as much as he says he’s watching me.”

  “Sarah.” He leans down to meet my eyes, making sure he has my attention. “You can’t keep doing this. You have to let me in. I’ve watched you do this a few times, and I don’t like it, especially when it involves my daughter. I’m asking you, what did he say?”

  “He said he forbids me from seeing you,” I shout louder than I should. I shouldn’t take my frustrations out on him, but I’m sick of having to lie and hide to save everyone else’s feelings.

  He flinches back but narrows his eyes. “He can’t be serious.”

  I stand up, reaching for my purse. “Yes, Adam, he’s very serious. You don’t understand my father.”

  He grabs my wrist, keeping me there so I can’t run away. “Then, what did you say?”

  “I told him he had no say in the matter, and there was nothing he could do to stop me.”

  He places his hand on my cheek, forcing my eyes to him. “I don’t want to come between you and your dad. I’m a dad, remember? I’d die if some guy stole Cailin away from me.”

  “What am I to do, Adam? He won’t even take the time to get to know you.”

  We stare into each other’s eyes. I know he’s torn, but this is a completely different situation that he and Cailin would never be in. He needs to understand that. He’ll never be like my dad. He’s going to want her to follow her dreams, and he’ll always listen to her first before jumping to conclusions.

  “I’ll do right by him. I promise,” he says.

  I shake my head, sighing. I love his ambition of even wanting to try. It’s a hopeless cause, but I don’t want to tell him that right now.

  28

  Adam