Road to Recovery

by Ann, Natalie

  After a few seconds when she didn’t return, curiosity got the better of him, so he set her suitcase down to make his way in her direction. He noticed her in his closet. “What are you doing?” She was browsing through his suits all neatly hung on one wall.

  “I’m picking one out for you. Or would you rather do it yourself?”

  Excited, but still doubtful he asked, “Really? No never mind, don’t answer that. Let me get the rest of my stuff quick.”

  He grabbed a shirt and matching tie from their spots in the closet. Throwing the rest of his clothes into a small travel bag, he walked back to the bedroom to get her suitcase, then stopped and looked at her questioningly as she smiled at him. “All set now?”

  “All set, when you are ready to leave.”

  His only response was a laugh.

  In Brooklyn

  Eyes still closed, Lucas reached for the alarm clock, only to encounter air when he tried to turn the music off. Sliding closer, he tried a second time with the same results. Realization dawned, and he remembered he was in Brooke’s bed.

  When the music finally shut off, he opened one eye to see Brooke starting to climb out of bed. He quickly grabbed her arm and pulled her back to his side, positioning her across his chest, her head on his heart. “What time is it?” he asked sleepily, running his hand up and down her back. He loved how she arched into him. Just like petting a kitten.

  “Five.”

  Continuing to caress her, his sleepy voice tried to coax. “Come back to bed. Too early to get up.”

  She chuckled lightly, refused to give in to the urge and tried to move out of bed. “Sorry, I need to get up and get ready before your alarm goes off. Go back to sleep.” She leaned up and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “I might even have the makings for pancakes this morning.” She quickly climbed over his body to get out of bed on his side.

  ***

  When she reached her bathroom, she turned on the light and looked back at him to see he was fast asleep with a faint smile on his face.

  Trying not to dwell on the fact that she could feel herself sliding further and further toward loving Lucas, she turned on to the water and stepped under the warm welcoming spray. She knew it would be a mistake to lose her heart again. She wasn’t ready for this. She wasn’t ready for the consequences if things went wrong again.

  It was still too early for them, definitely too early for any declarations of love. Not that she planned on declaring anything, least of all anytime soon.

  She’d sworn to herself she would never be the first to say it again in a relationship. Besides, she thought to herself, maybe she wasn’t even feeling love right now, because it sure wasn’t like anything else she ever felt before. It was most likely a strong case of attraction. Serious attraction. And lust. Lots and lots of lust.

  Thinking back on their time together these last several weeks, she realized that was mostly likely what it was. Attraction and lust.

  She’d always been a romantic at heart, even though she hid that secret well. And he seemed to be able to find all the right things to say and do to make her pulse kick up a notch.

  The sex was fantastic, but it wasn’t just that. It was all the little things he did for her. The hand holding, the teasing, the text messages telling her good night when they were apart, and the way he looked at her.

  Especially the way he looked at her, with so much heat and intensity in his eyes. All she could think of when she saw that gaze was power. He had the power and the ability to turn her to mush with one look.

  And she decided to keep that little secret to herself, too.

  ***

  “Did you go anywhere interesting this weekend?” Mike Lester asked Lucas in the elevator later that morning.

  Even though Brooke didn’t need to attend the meeting that required Lucas to wake so early, she rode in with him anyway. She told him after the long weekend she was ready to jump right back into work. Get back on schedule. Focus on her job. The weekend was a nice break, she reminded him when they left, but everything needed to go back to normal at work. Professional.

  But it was so hard, he thought. It was so nice to let go this weekend and not have to think about who was around and who might see them. He sighed and looked at Brooke while she focused on the wall in front of her, ignoring the conversation between the two men. He was feeling a bit snarky after the morning chat with her. He didn’t understand after this weekend, how she could turn it back off and go back to her robotic self. Mike gave him an opening to have a little fun with her.

  “Actually I spent most of my weekend in Brooklyn,” Lucas answered, then watched Brooke’s back stiffen in front of him. Good, let’s see if you can ignore that, he thought to himself with a smirk.

  “I can’t say I’ve ever been in Brooklyn before,” Mike said, but paused when he heard a choking sound from Brooke standing in front of him. “I prefer Manhattan. Do anything exciting there?” Mike continued on, oblivious of the game going on around him.

  Lucas’s lips twitched and he tried his hardest not to laugh as he responded, “Actually, there are plenty of exciting things to do in Brooklyn.”

  The choking from Brooke turned into a cough, which caused Lucas to put a hand over his mouth to hide his own smile.

  The elevator doors opened and Lucas watched Brooke take a step out, stop to turn her head and glare at him quickly, then march away. He couldn’t hold the laughter back any longer as the door closed on him and Mike.

  “What was hell was that?” Mike asked, puzzled.

  Lucas shrugged and then grinned. “Who knows? Maybe she got up on the wrong side of the bed.”

  ***

  “It was so embarrassing, Cori,” Brooke explained over lunch in the cafeteria a few hours later.

  “I’m sorry, but, Brooke, that’s hilarious. Admit it, you know you want to laugh about it. At least now, but maybe not at that time,” Cori prompted after Brooke had finished telling her about Lucas’s comments in the elevator earlier that morning.

  With a sigh of resignation, Brooke aggressively took her frustration out on her salad, stabbing at it with her fork. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I want anymore. Or what I think anymore.

  Looking concerned, Cori waved her hand in front of Brooke’s face as Brooke concentrated on attacking her salad instead of eating it. “Hey, what is there to be confused about? Are you nuts? You’ve got this amazingly hot sexy guy paying all sorts of attention to you. I know you don’t share any details of your love life, wish you did, but I can read between the lines.”

  Cori paused until she knew she had Brooke’s undivided attention, then looked around to see who might be within hearing distance. Once she was satisfied with both, she leaned in closer. “Come on. I know you aren’t the type to kiss and tell, but I’m betting he is the best you’ve ever had. All that consideration he pays outside of the bedroom has to work its way in. It has to, am I right?” she asked, dying to know some little detail.

  Cori knew Brooke wouldn’t answer her directly, but when the blush crept up her friend’s neck and face she congratulated herself. “I knew it!”

  “Can we change the subject, please?” Brooke begged.

  “No way. You started it. I’m going to finish it,” Cori said, slapping her palm on the table. “Besides I’m still trying to figure out what you are so confused about.”

  Cori started to count things off her fingers. “He’s hot and sexy as all hell. With that boyish grin and ice blue stare of his, mmm, yum. He has a great job. He is one of the most laid back people I’ve ever met. And he worships you. What is there to be confused about?”

  Brooke frowned. “Worships? Really, who uses that word?”

  “I do,” Cori exclaimed. “Now answer my question. What are you so afraid of?”

  “What makes you think I’m afraid?”

  “Seriously? You’re joking. That is the only explanation for it. I just listed off everything that any woman in their right mind wants in a man. You’ve got it all
and you are confused. The only explanation is you are afraid of something. So what gives?”

  “I don’t know what he sees in me.” Brooke’s shoulders shrugged then drooped. “We’re total opposites. It hasn’t been that long. What if he grows tired of it, of me?” she asked in a shy childlike voice lacking the confidence Cori had never seen Brooke without.

  “That’s what it is? You think he will grow bored with you. Why? Because you don’t act like he does? Because you don’t return all those sweet things he does for you? Did you ever stop to think that maybe he likes doing those things? Maybe he likes to make you smile. Maybe he doesn’t have an agenda of his own and is really a sweet guy. Who likes you, and who wants to make you happy? Who’s really into you?” Cori stopped, gasped for breath, and then continued. “Did you ever think of that? Has no one ever done anything nice for you just for the heck of it?” Her voice rose with agitation. “I wish I had some guy like Lucas in my life.”

  Brooke waited till Cori was finally done with her tirade, then answered, embarrassed, “Well, no, not really. No one has ever done those kinds of things for me.”

  “Huh?” Cori said, her eyes almost popping out of her head. “No one. Not one person has ever done anything nice for you. Just for the heck of it?”

  “Probably Mac. Though nothing is coming to the top of my head, but definitely not my parents. I’ve told you, everything was very structured in our house. Nothing was done that wasn’t on an agenda or having some ultimate purpose,” Brooke patiently explained again.

  “No other boyfriends?” Cori pushed some more, astonished by Brooke’s revelation.

  “I don’t have too much to compare to. No boyfriends in high school. It wasn’t allowed. And really there wasn’t much time. Again, my mother scheduled my time accordingly. One boyfriend through college, and it definitely wasn’t the romance of the decade. We were friends. It turned into more and then ended as calmly as it started. End of story.”

  “One boyfriend? I don’t believe it. You are way too hot to only have had one boyfriend.” Cori held her hand up when Brooke started to interrupt. “I don’t care how standoffish you come across. Plenty of guys find that attractive and you know it.”

  Brooke couldn’t help but agree. “Yes, you’re right. But I was focused on my career. I dated on and off, but that was all. Until...” She trailed off.

  “Until what?” Cori pressured.

  “Until Robbie. I guess you could say he was my only serious adult relationship. And it didn’t turn out so well for me. Or for him either in the end.” She glanced at her watch and started to pick up the remains of her uneaten lunch. “I need to head back now. See you at the gym later.”

  Cori had been dismissed. Brooke shut down, the conversation over.

  Anniversary

  Hanging up the phone, Lucas looked at his watch and pushed away from his desk. On the way out of his office door, he called to Rhonda, “I’ll be back in about twenty minutes.”

  He had spent all day trying to carve out time to see Brooke. Something wasn’t right with her. The last several days she had been distant. She always put on a good front, tried to act like everything was fine, but he knew better. It was all too forced, even for her.

  He chalked it up as a bad day when it originally started. But now her solemn mood was going on day three and she was further away than before. He was afraid she was pulling away from him and he needed to get a handle on what was happening. He needed to know what was going on in her head.

  Everything had been perfect Memorial Day weekend. More than perfect. He knew they were moving fast, but he couldn’t seem to slow down, no matter how hard he tried. And he was deathly afraid she was putting the brakes on.

  Walking down the hall to her office, he heard her on the phone and paused outside her door, not wanting to interrupt. He tried not to think of it as eavesdropping. But when he heard her say her brother’s name, he held on to the hope that he could get a clue as to what was really going on with her.

  ***

  “I’m doing good, Mac. There was no need for you to call me in the middle of the day. I know you’re busy,” she scolded him.

  “It’s been almost a week since we last talked. I miss my baby sister.” He laughed into the phone.

  She rolled her eyes, returned his laugh. “Who are you kidding? You wanted to check up on me. Admit it.”

  He sighed guiltily. “So what’s wrong with that? In all seriousness, Brooke, I know what today is. I needed to hear from you directly. I needed to know how you were handling it.”

  “I’m handling it. I’ve had a few moments the last couple of days. I’ve been trying to forget about it, and I was doing a good job of it. But the closer today got, the harder it became.”

  She paused for a moment and swallowed the lump in her throat. “On the bright side, the doctors told me in one year I would be good as new, and they were right. I actually think I’m better than before. So that’s a plus, right?” she asked lightly.

  Mac ignored her question, instead asked one of his own. “How much does Lucas know about your accident? And don’t try to put me off. I’ll keep calling you back. And then you can feel guilty about making all my patients wait while I badger you.”

  “You’re stubborn, you know that?” she asked in exasperation.

  “No more than you are. So, I repeat. How much does Lucas know?”

  Laying her head on the back of the chair and closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. “Not much. The basics. Just the accident and my injuries, nothing more.”

  Clearly shocked at her answer, he berated her. “Are you telling me he knows nothing at all about Robbie? Who he was or that he was in the car with you? You are playing with fire here and you’re the one that’s going to get burned. I thought things were getting serious between the two of you.”

  Brooke’s breathing grew heavy, but he didn’t stop. “You owe it to him to be upfront. And more importantly, you owe it to yourself,” he added softly.

  She knew Mac hated lecturing her. She got enough of that from their parents. But he always told her there was a time to be a supportive big brother and a time to be a stern one. Brooke guessed this was one of those stern times.

  Blinking back tears before they could fall, she composed herself while Mac patiently waited for her to respond. “I don’t know what to say now. I don’t know how to even start. I didn’t expect this to happen. It’s all moving so fast. I could never find the right time or opening, and now it seems like that time has passed.”

  His voice held firm. “Just do it and get it over with. There will never be a good time, but the longer you wait, the harder it will be. Brooke, you need to do this to move on. It will be better for you to get it off your chest.”

  He stopped for a moment. Brooke assumed he was gathering his thoughts. “You don’t have to tell him everything. No one knows the whole truth but you. I’m convinced you haven’t even told me everything. That’s for you to decide, if and when you tell anyone. But he needs to know what he could easily read on the Internet.” She inhaled sharply, but he ignored her. “It will only be worse if he found out that way. It only takes a few clicks and part of the story is right there for him online. Don’t you think it would be better if he heard it from you?”

  Brooke never thought of all that. Mac was getting through to her. It scared her, but he was right. “I didn’t think of it that way.” She sat up straighter in the chair. “I guess you gave me the push I needed. Tonight would have been perfect, on the one-year anniversary. What better way to put it all behind me? Too bad Lucas has a late meeting. Not the best conversation to have on the phone,” she said as an afterthought.

  Feeling a little bit better, she opened her eyes and forced a smile. “Mac? Thanks. I’m terrified, but I know you’re right.”

  “Of course I’m right. I’m the older brother. Older brothers are always right. And you’re welcome. I’ll even do one better for you. I’ll hold off Mom because I know she will be calling you soon. I’ll
send her a message that we spoke and you were unavailable until tomorrow.”

  “Now I really owe you.” A genuine laugh escaped her mouth.

  “I’ll be collecting soon. And Brooke? Good luck. I’ll check in on you in a few days.” He hung up the phone before she could tell him he didn’t need to.

  ***

  The one-year anniversary of her accident, Lucas thought to himself. He knew it had been close to a year, but she never talked about it. And he never wanted to push her. Maybe he should have. Maybe he should have brought it up. But she always had it all together. Nothing ever seemed to bother her. She seemed to have a handle on everything going on around her. He hated that he took that for granted.

  There was one thing to do, really the only thing he could do at this point. Turning on his heel he walked back to his office.

  “Hi.” She leaned in for a quick kiss when he walked through her front door hours later. “Did you eat? I was getting ready to throw something together for myself. Your meeting ended earlier than I thought, so I didn’t expect to see you tonight,” she explained when he followed her into the kitchen.

  She didn’t need to know he bumped the meeting up an hour so that he could leave at a reasonable time. “No, not yet. But don’t to go to any trouble. I know it wasn’t planned. We can order something if you want.”

  He pulled her forward and wrapped his arms around her, placed her head against his heart. His favorite position, and he continued to hold her quietly for a minute. Lifting his hand under her chin, he brought her face up to his and leaned in for a soft kiss, then whispered against her lips. “I needed to see you tonight.” She leaned into him. It’s going to be alright, he thought to himself. Or so he hoped.