Reckless (Deathstalkers MC Book 9)

by Alexis Noelle

When I pull away from her, the desire in her eyes makes my dick hard.

  "I can't do this with you," she says, but I don't believe a damn word of it. "I have somewhere I need to be."

  She moves to get up, but I hold her in place. "I'll take you."

  “No.”

  It's all she says, but her tone is weak, and I can hear the need in it. "Yes." I stand her up and hand her the extra helmet I brought.

  She shakes her head. "No, you shouldn't come, and even if you did, I need my car."

  “Babe, I’m coming one way or another. Rather have you on my bike though. What’s going on?”

  She sighs before looking at me again. “I need to go pick up some of my things at my ex’s house.” Her voice is weak and laced with pain.

  Whoever the fucker is, I want to shove my fist down his throat just from the way her demeanor changed at the mention of him. I shut my bike off and grab her hand. "Let's go get your shit." I don't wait for a response, and when we get to her car, I grab the keys from her hand. Opening the passenger door, she climbs in, I slide behind the wheel and adjust the mirrors laughing at the difference in our heights. “Okay, tell me where I’m going.”

  She rattles off an address and I know the neighborhood it's in. Just outside the city but close enough to come in whenever you need something. She doesn't say anything the entire ride, but it's almost like I can feel her anxiety building as I get closer to the house. Turning down her street, her hands start to wring in her lap, and my grip on the wheel tightens to the point that my knuckles are white.

  I stop the car, and she doesn't move, looking over at her it's like she isn't even there. "Carly?"

  She jumps at the sound of my voice, turning my way, her eyes are filled like she might start crying at any moment. “Yeah, okay.” It’s all she says before reaching for the door handle and getting out.

  I hope this fucker isn’t home because I’m ready to kick his ass.

  The steps creak as I follow her to the door. Before she can even knock it opens and I immediately recognize the asshole that opens it.

  Tony Benson.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in.” He smirks at Carly not even looking my way.

  She doesn't say anything to him as her shoulders slump, and I see all the fight she has drain from her body.

  “Watch your mouth, asshole. You won’t get another warning.” My tone is clipped and barely steady as I try to keep myself from pulling my gun and ending him right here.

  I knew from that first day he would hurt her. Seeing how she is with him, it’s like he destroyed her. Her gaze hasn’t left the floor since we got here.

  “Excuse me? Who the fuck are—“ A cocky ass smile crosses his face. “Peters? You really traded down huh?” He looks back to Carly who still hasn’t moved.

  "I came to get my stuff like you asked." Her voice is small and weak; I can barely fucking hear her.

  “Yeah, well get it and get out.” He steps to the side to let her in. When I try to follow, stupid fuck thinks he can stand in the doorway.

  I shove his chest sending him flying to the floor on his ass. “You think I’m letting you fuck with her anymore, you’re dumber than you look.” I walk past him.

  “You—“

  "No. Last warning. Open your fucking mouth again, and I'll rip your cock off and shove it down your throat." I stare at him waiting for him to test me, to give me a fucking reason.

  Heading upstairs, I find Carly throwing stuff in bags and when she turns to me, a tear slips down her cheek.

  Fuck that.

  I walk over to her taking her face in my hands. “Knew from the first time I saw you talking to that asshole that he would never deserve you. It’s why I knocked him out that day. I was coming to tell you I had loved you for fucking years. I wanted you to be mine.”

  She blinks a few times before standing on her tiptoes and pressing her lips against mine. I slip my hands down her body, to her hips and pull her tight against me. Her nails dig into the back of my neck, and I pull away, needing to get her out of here and in my bed.

  “Show me where your stuff is, I’ll help.”

  She smiles before giving me a nod. “That dresser and the floor of the closet.”

  Prick put her shit on the floor.

  He’s lucky he stayed downstairs and quiet.

  It takes us about ten more minutes to get all of her stuff. The tension between us in the room is thick, and I keep catching her looking over at me. It only makes me move faster, needing to be out of here with her.

  I lost Carly once.

  There’s no way I’ll let that happen again.

  Chapter Five

  Carly

  Last night Jax told me that the day he got expelled he was going to tell me he loved me. When he said that, I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I never knew he felt that way about me. Having him tell me in a place where all I could remember was pain was the craziest feeling. It was like he was erasing all the hurtful memories and replacing them.

  When we left, Tony was sitting on the couch, and he didn't even look our way. I don't know what Jax said to him, but I was thankful.

  Being at that house, I felt powerless and weak.

  I hated it.

  I let Tony treat me as if I were less than him. For so long I had convinced myself that if I changed everything about myself things between us could be what I always wanted. The problem with that was the changes I tried to implement never stuck because I was trying to change myself for someone else.

  After everything that happened, I realized that Tony could never love me like I wanted him to because I could never change enough to be what he wanted from me. With Jax, I don't feel like I need to make a change to any part of myself. I feel like I can be me, and still be happy.

  I look over at the man lying next to me knowing I can feel my heart starting to open to him. It scares me because of how hard it was to put myself back together, but at the same time it's exciting, and I've never been happier.

  I always thought love was a slow progression. Something that took time and work. I'm learning that love is a force, it takes hold of you when you least expect it to and pulls you under. It's never a perfect time, and you may not find it where you expect. When it hits you though, you know inside that you'll never feel the same again. I never expected to find Jax when I did. In fact, I don't even know that I was ready to rediscover what I found in him. Now, in this moment I know there is nowhere I'd rather be than in his arms.

  His arms tighten around me. “You look like you’re thinkin’ too much.” His raspy voice sounds in my ear sending chills through my body.

  "Maybe, but it's all good things." I turn my head, pressing my lips against his. Looking into his eyes a sense of calm fills me. I feel like a teenager again, completely overtaken by the way I feel about him. I would always read books where the girls fell for the guys in a matter of a few days, and I'd think they were crazy. There's no way you could have those kinds of feelings for someone in such a short span of time. I was so wrong.

  "You gonna let me in on the secret?" His head dips while he brushes his stubble against my neck. I open my mouth to speak, but I'm interrupted by the sound of his phone ringing. He reaches over grabbing it off the nightstand. "Yeah…got it." He looks down at me placing a kiss on my lips. "Gotta go, babe."

  Before I can reply, he’s out of bed and pulling his jeans on. “What was that all about?”

  “Club business,” he says as he pulls his t-shirt over his head. “Remember what I said about going to the club.”

  I nod my head, trying to hide my disappointment that he’s leaving.

  After he leaves, my room feels bigger and emptier than it ever has before. I get out of bed needing to distance myself from his smell lingering in my sheets, it only makes me want to call him and beg him to come back, and I'm so not that girl.

  Walking into the living room, I see Jess sitting on the couch. "So, he stayed over?"

  I nod my head. “He actually came with me t
o get my stuff from Tony’s last night.”

  Jess arches an eyebrow at me. “Don’t hate me, but…” She trails off before crossing her legs on the couch. “Are you sure that you’re not latching onto Wrench in an effort to get over everything with Tony? I mean it’s like you went from being heartbroken to completely in love in a day.”

  I try to take in what she's saying, and I really get where she is coming from. I'm sure from the outside that's what it seems like. "The thing is, hindsight is 20/20. I grieved the relationship and the love I felt for him. After that grief, I was really able to see it all for what it was. Tony hasn't liked the way I've looked for years. He always said how I could stand to lose a few pounds. We would actually fight when we got home if I had eaten crap food while we were out. The things he used to say to me completely destroyed any confidence I had ever had in myself." I feel my eyes well with tears. It's not for the relationship; it's for the person I let him destroy during it. "Once I realized how unhealthy and abusive our time had been it was easy for me to move past it. When you're in that situation, blinded by the love you feel, you don’t see that you'd be better without it."

  "I'm sorry, girl." Jess stands up and gives me a hug. "I wish you'd have been able to get yourself out of that situation sooner. You deserve so much better."

  I shrug. "In a way, I'm happy that it happened the way that it did."

  Jess pulls away from me, and I can tell my statement shocked her.

  “If Tony hadn’t done what he did, when he did, I don’t know that I would have crossed paths with Jax like I did. In a crazy way, as much as I hate him, I’m thankful.” I pause, knowing how dumb that sounds. It’s completely true though.

  “Well, if you really are happy then I’m happy for you. It’s all I’ve wanted for you since everything happened.” She offers me a smile.

  "I know, and I don't know how I would have gotten through everything without you, Jess, you're as close to a sister as I'll ever have." She hugs me again, and now both of us are crying.

  "Jesus Christ, we are such girls," Jess says with a laugh.

  My phone buzzes and I look down at it.

  Wrench: Just got to the club and goddamn all I want is to be back in your bed with you.

  I smile and can feel my cheeks turning red.

  "Lord, I'm going to grab something to eat. You're blushing like a teenager, and the cheese factor is bursting right now." Jess walks away shaking her head.

  Me: It’s all I want too, as soon as you walked out of the room I missed you.

  Wrench: Fuck woman, you can’t say shit like that to me.

  If it's possible, I smile even bigger. My cheeks hurt and I shake my head at how stupid I probably look grinning at the screen.

  A part of me thinks back to my past relationship, and I don't ever remember feeling like this. I loved Tony with all my heart. However, I didn't need him. I didn't feel incomplete when he wasn't at my side. I feel that now and it's incredible.

  Chapter Six

  Carly

  A knock sounds on the door and I laugh knowing it’s probably Jess. She always forgets her key and usually six other things before she actually makes it out of the building.

  “You know one day I won’t be here to—” My voice catches in my throat as I open the door and Tony is standing there. My muscles tighten as my whole body goes rigid.

  “Cat got your tongue?” he smirks at me.

  My heart starts beating at three times its average pace. I can't move, and as much as I want to tell him to go to hell, I can't speak.

  "Thought you were cute bringing that piece of fucking biker trash to my house? Just remember I'm the one who threw your ass away. I'm sure in time he'll see what I did and then you'll be all alone again." He laughs, and my stomach turns.

  "Y-you need to leave," I stumble over my words, and he smiles at how affected I am by him being here.

  Before I can react, his hand reaches up as he takes hold of a handful of my hair, tugging me toward him. I wince, and pain radiates through my entire body like a lightning bolt. "Don't forget that I took care of you for all these years, you fucking owe me, and I can cash in on that shit whenever I damn well feel like it." He releases me with a push, and I fall onto the floor. "Just wanted to remind you of your place. Don't make me have to do it again."

  He walks away, and I'm stuck in that place for what feels like forever.

  Tony always had a way of intimidating me. Whenever we would argue, he would stand in my way as I tried to walk away from him, or tower over me if I were sitting down. Anything he could do to make me feel as if I were less than him. I hate that he still has that power over me. I hate that he can still make me feel shitty about myself because I know it’s what he thrives on.

  I look around almost expecting him to pop out from behind the doorway. I need to get out of here. I grab my purse and send Jess a text that I'm going to the clubhouse to see Jax. I know he said not to come alone, but it really can't be that bad. I'll just let them know I'm waiting for him.

  The drive is short, and I thank God for that because my hands are still shaking from everything that happened with Tony. I wrack my brain trying to come up with a good reason to just show up at the clubhouse. I don't want to tell Jax what happened, I know he'll go crazy, and I don't want him to go after Tony. Not that I care what happens to him, but I care what happens to Jax. If he were hurt or anything else because of me, I wouldn't forgive myself.

  Pulling up to the gate, I give a wave to the guy standing there. His jacket doesn’t have any patches but I know I saw him the last time I was here. He looks at me for a few seconds before realization crosses his face and he pushes the gate open.

  My heart starts to beat faster as I park my car and get out, walking up to the door. Do I knock? Should I just walk in?

  "You look lost, and that's dangerous here." A voice sounds from behind me, and I turn to see a brunette with blond highlights. She's smiling at me, and I recognize her as one of the girls that Jess referred to as an old lady. "I'm Izzy."

  “Hey, I’m Carly. I’m actually looking for Jax…I mean Wrench.” I quickly correct myself knowing that no one around here calls him by his real name.

  She laughs. "The whole road name thing takes some getting used to huh?" I nod, and she opens the door to the clubhouse. "Follow me."

  I walk behind her through the door, and the room isn't as crowded as it was the last time I was here. It makes the space feel so much bigger. As I walk, I can feel eyes on me, and I have the urge to cover myself even though I'm wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

  She stops at the bar against the wall. “Hey, Torch.” One of the guys looks over at her and lifts his chin. “Wrench around?”

  “Nah, he just ran out. Should be back in a little though.” His eyes move over to me and go wide, although I have no idea why.

  "If you want to, you can hang out here." Izzy smiles at me, and I take a seat. A couple of guys walk up to the bar, and before they even ask for anything, she grabs a few glasses, a bottle of whiskey, and pours them a drink. "So, Cece, why do you look like a lost, injured puppy?"

  I look at her completely dumbfounded at how to answer her question. “I uh…I.”

  Izzy laughs. "I'm just messing with you. Although you remind me a lot of myself when I first came to the club. Innocent, naive, scared but not wanting to admit it." She cocks an eyebrow at me, and my silence is basically acceptance of everything she just assumed. "Well, don't worry, they aren't half as scary as they seem. Most of them are just big teddy bears, but don't let them know I told you that."

  I laugh as she winks at me. “So how long have you been here?”

  She glances up like she’s trying to do the math. “A little over four years. My story is a little long and heavy for right now, but I’m with Lady, and Pres is my brother.”

  I pull my eyebrows together in confusion. Does that mean she’s gay? I’ve never seen any girl bikers here. “Lady? I didn’t realize— “

  "Hold on girl," she laughs,
and I just look at her confused at what's so funny. "Lady is over there by the door." I turn around and see two guys who are both about six feet tall. The one with the jacket and patches on is huge and no one I'd ever want to piss off, the other one is dressed in plain clothes. "His name is kind of a long story and mixed up with mine."

  I laugh at the fact that this big tough biker is named Lady. I don’t know why the other guys would have done that to him.

  “Come take a walk with me girl.” A voice from behind me makes me jump. I turn, seeing Brick standing behind me.

  “I’m actually just waiting for Wrench.” I offer him a smile and turn back to Izzy whose eyes are wide as saucers right now.

  "Not askin', you're in my club, you aren't claimed, you do as you're told. Let's go." His voice is a little more forceful this time, and it makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. His hand grabs my arm and tugs me off the bar stool.

  I look back at Izzy, and she's looking at me as if she wants to step in and say something, but she doesn't.

  Brick leads me by my arm almost as if I'm a rag doll. I want to fight back, but for some reason, I don't. This is why Jax told me not to come here alone. I look around trying to make eye contact with someone, anyone who might save me. I wish I were strong enough to save myself, but I never have been my entire life.

  He takes me down the same hallway where Jax's room is. We reach one of the doors, and he unlocks it before leading me in and shutting the door. "Been hoping you'd go against Wrench and come here alone."

  A knot forms in my stomach, my whole-body freezes.

  What the hell did I get myself into?

  Chapter Seven

  Wrench

  My phone buzzes and I look down at it.

  Izzy: I shouldn't even be doing this, but her wide eyes really got to me. The girl you had with you the other night was here waiting for you and Brick just led her back to the rooms.

  Rage fills my entire body. Fucking asshole. I was just talking to that prick about Carly yesterday. He knows what the deal is.