Reckless (Deathstalkers MC Book 9)

by Alexis Noelle

  "Tracker, we almost done with this shit? I gotta roll." Pres sent us to pick up some information from a snitch. It's all-hands-on-deck trying to figure out who's been hitting our shipments.

  "Yeah, got everything we'll be able to from him. What's got your panties in a fucking bunch?" He laughs as he climbs on his bike.

  I don't even bother replying to him as I pull onto the street and race back to the club. We're almost an hour away, but I'm determined to cut that time in half. I know that's still too long though and thinking about Brick being with my girl has lightning shooting through every inch of me.

  I fucking told Carly to stay away from the club unless she was with me. I can't protect her from my brothers. Not that I should have to. I made a pretty clear statement this morning that she was with me and off-limits even if I couldn't claim her.

  We’re all gathered at church listening to the plans Pres has to try and catch whatever dickheads keep hitting our shipments. “Anyone else have business they need to be brought to the table?

  I raise my hand, and he nods in my direction. "Just to let everyone know, the new girl Cece, her real name is Carly, and we have history. Club rules say I can't claim her but just know she's fucking mine. Should have been a long damn time ago."

  Pres stands up and his eyes narrow in on me. "I already told you that ain't the way shit works around here. She's an old lady, or she isn't. Point. Fucking. Blank." He starts to sit back down but pauses halfway. "And if you're still confused, let me clear it up. She ain't a goddamn old lady. I don't want to hear anything else about this shit and don't let me catch you acting like a fucking teenager starting fights and shit. You need to think about whether this club whore is worth your fucking patch."

  I open my mouth to reply but Brick's hand lays on my arm, and he shakes his head. I know he's right, but he doesn't get it.

  Guess that prick wasn’t listening either. He’s one of the guys I think of as more than just my club family but my real family.

  Brick and I joined the club as prospects together. We got our cuts together, he's been through a whole bunch of shit with me, so the fact that this shit is going down with him has me seeing fucking red.

  The hour drive turns into twenty minutes, and I hop off my bike so fast it crashes to the ground, and I couldn't give a fuck about it. I race toward the door and Tracker grabs my arm.

  “What the fuck, brother? You need to calm down. You cannot go in there like this. Pres will fucking kill you after this morning.” He lets go of my arm.

  I know he’s right but what the hell am I supposed to do?

  I walk into the club, and every brothers' eyes are on me. I walk toward the hallway where our rooms are, and Pres steps in front of me. "Remember what the fuck I said to you this morning." He walks away, not even waiting for a reply.

  I keep walking and just as I turn the corner, I see Carly walking out of Brick's room. My eyes roam over her, and she doesn't look any less perfect than normal. Her hair is in place; her clothes aren't wrinkled. Either nothing happened, or she cleaned up first. I hope to fucking God it's the first one.

  I walk up to her, and she offers me a small smile. When the door opens again, and Brick comes out, the smile on his face reignites the fire I had inside of me coming in here.

  “Motherfucker.” I swing at him, hitting the bastard right on the jaw.

  Carly yelps and I hear footsteps coming toward us.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” Pres’s voice booms behind me.

  “This your work, shithead?” Looks at me and then at Brick who is on the floor.

  “Nah, I just fell.” Brick stands up, meeting my eyes.

  "Get it the fuck together. This isn't fucking high school." Pres walks away, and the crowd that gathered follows him.

  I take Carly’s hand and pull her down to my room, locking the door once we’re both inside. “You okay?” I study her body looking for any reason to go out there and beat Brick’s ass some more.

  "I'm fine," she says, but I don't know if she's telling me the truth.

  I grab her hand, pulling her over to my bed and down onto my lap. “What the fuck happened in that room?” My hand threads through her hair and she winces. “He hurt you?” My muscles go rigid as I wait for her to answer.

  She quickly shakes her head. “I just have a headache.”

  “What did he do when you were in there?” I almost don’t want the answer to this question, but I know I need it.

  She bites her lip, and I tense even more. "I-uh-I can't tell you."

  "What? Why the hell not?" My voice is harder than I want it to be and when she flinches, I feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

  “Brick told me to keep what happened between us. I can’t really say more than that.” She looks away from me.

  I try to take a few breaths and calm myself down, but it's not fucking working. "You're my girl. You don't keep shit from me, Carly."

  She looks back at me, and I can see how torn she is. "I am yours, Jax, but from what I understand, I also can't betray Brick's trust because I'm technically club property."

  Fucking asshole. Brick is a goddamn dead man. Hearing her say she's club property fucking kills me, but it's the truth.

  Doesn’t mean I need to accept it.

  Chapter Eight

  Carly

  He is staring at me so hard I feel like he can almost see into my soul and he knows exactly what happened. However, if that was the case, he wouldn't look so pissed off.

  Brick made it clear that I can’t tell anyone what happened and if I did it would give him a case to get me banned from the club and then I wouldn’t get to be with Wrench either way.

  My thumb brushes over the stubble on his face, trailing over his lips. I'm still rattled from what happened earlier with Tony, and all I want right now is to pretend like no one else exists in this world but us. I lean down, pressing my lips to his, our connection instantly calming the nerves running rampant through me.

  He pulls away quickly, his hands tightening on my hips. “I need to know what the fuck happened, Carly.”

  “And I told you I can’t say.” I hate this. I should have listened to him and just texted him instead of coming here on my own.

  "You can and you will." His voice is rough, and nothing like I'm used to when he speaks to me. My mind instantly goes back to Tony. How he would be so sweet one minute and then a switch would flip, and he'd turn into a monster.

  Counting all of the chips, I can't believe that I actually won a poker night. We have been playing with Tony's brother and his wife every Saturday for a couple of months, and I've never come close to ending the night with the most money. I look over at Tony who is laughing with his brother and offer him a smile hoping he's proud of me.

  “You ready?” Tony looks over at me, his speech slurred a bit.

  I had a couple of drinks tonight, but he had way more than me. He usually does, if I'm honest, I wish for a night that he didn't work and didn't drink. I love him so much, but I hate the person he becomes after drinking too much. We usually end up fighting most nights he drinks, and I just say a silent prayer that tonight isn't one of those nights.

  "Yep, all cashed out." I grab my purse and say goodbye. Fishing the car keys out, I head to the driver's side, but Tony grabs them out of my hand.

  “I’m driving.”

  I don't want to argue and have him get pissed off at me, but there is no way he should be driving. He isn't okay, and to top it off if he were to get pulled over it could really screw up our lives. He'd most likely get fired, and I'm not working right now.

  "No, it's okay. I don't mind, and I haven't had much to drink tonight." I have a brave moment and I grab the keys back from him. I try to lighten the mood by sticking my tongue out at him, but it doesn't help the scowl that is already planted on his face.

  "You want the fucking keys?" He grabs them roughly, causing one of them to cut my palm. He throws them over my head, and they land in the street with a clink. "Go fuckin
g fetch."

  Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to cry. Whenever I let them fall, it only pisses him off more because he thinks it's some form of manipulation to make him feel bad for me. I've always been someone who wears their heart on their sleeve, but with him, I've learned I can't.

  I turn around and walk into the street to pick them up. I wish I could talk to someone about times like this. I have great friends, but a part of me feels wrong doing it. We have good times, and I don't want to leave him. If I talk to my friends, I know they'll resent him, and I don't want that.

  When I turn to face the car, Tony isn’t standing by it anymore, he’s walking toward me. I take a few steps. “Why don’t you just let me—”My voice dies as he picks up his pace and drops his shoulder hitting me in my chest.

  I'm immediately knocked off balance and fall to the ground the back of my head slamming against the curb, and I cry out.

  “I’ll fucking walk home. Hope it was worth getting your way. I can’t even stand the sight of you, you fat fuck.” He looks down at me in disgust as the tears I tried to control come falling out.

  After a minute, I sit up, my hands brace against the cold pavement as everything around me is spinning. Slowly I get up and make my way over to the car. I just want things to get better. I want him to treat me better.

  Maybe I’m just kidding myself though.

  I climb off of Wrench. “I told you I can’t. You can accept that or you can’t, but it is what it is.”

  "Accept it?" He stands up, and he's so close to me our chests are almost touching. I have to lift my head to look up at him as he towers over me. Memories of fighting with Tony are blaring in my head, and it's getting harder to make the distinction between the two of them.

  “Yes.” My voice is no longer strong, it’s quiet and weak.

  “Sorry, I can’t accept that my girl is okay being a whore with my brother.”

  It happens before I can stop myself. My hand reaches up, and I slap him right across the face before turning around and walking out of the room.

  How dare he say that to me.

  This is his world, and I was okay being a part of it because I care about him.

  I guess this was just another case of me wanting something so bad that I compromise myself. I thought he was worth all of this because in the short time since we reconnected, he’s made me feel things I’ve only seen in sappy love movies.

  I was wrong.

  Again.

  Chapter Nine

  Wrench

  My cheek stings from the impact of her slap. I watch her walk away knowing I'm an asshole and I need to go after her. She didn't deserve that, and I know that no matter how I feel, she couldn't have said no to whatever Brick asked of her. If she were to deny a brother, he could ban her from the club and then it wouldn't matter if by some miracle the rules changed because once you're banned, that's it. There’s no coming back.

  It’s killing me trying to move past whatever went on. Fighting the urge not to strangle Brick is taking up all of the energy that I have. Even now, my fists are clenched so tight thinking about it that I wouldn’t be surprised if the bones just snapped.

  My words replay in my mind.

  I called her a whore.

  The look on her face when I said it is enough for me to want to beat my own ass. I know her ex was a douchebag and said nasty shit to her all the time, now I've done the same goddamn thing to her.

  I have to go after her. Opening my door, I see Izzy and Nikki standing there. “I do not have time for this shit.”

  "Well, make time, buddy," Nikki says, crossing her arms over her chest. Out of all the old ladies, Nikki is probably the one I'd want to mess with the least. Not only is she Pres's girl but she's tough as nails. Izzy isn't much better, and she isn't afraid to call us on our shit. Right now, the two of them are looking at me like they're ready to rip me a new asshole. They take a step into my room, and I contemplate just pushing past them, but I'm already on Pres's shit list.

  "I don't know what you said to that poor girl, but whatever it was, you're an asshole." Izzy looks at me as if I make her sick, which I probably do. "Whatever she had going on that made her come here today, I can tell you it messed her up. She didn't ask to be thrown into this life, but she is trying to make it work for you."

  “I get that but— “

  “Did it sound like she was done talking?” Nikki sneers at me.

  I shut up knowing that I need to just let them talk and then get the hell out of here.

  “You don’t get it. She needed you for whatever reason today. She got taken into a room with Brick to do whatever and then still was going to hold her head high and try to figure shit out with you. As damaged as she looked when she got here she’s strong as all hell. This is the life you brought her into, don’t be pissed at her for following its rules.” Izzy turns away and walks out of the room.

  Nikki is still standing there, but she hasn't said a word.

  “You thinking of some more shit to give me or can I leave?”

  She shakes her head. “Just be careful. Words can hurt more than hands sometimes. You ever need someone to rant your bullshit to before you say something you’ll regret, come find me.” She cocks an eyebrow at me before walking away.

  I shut my door and see Brick walking down the hallway toward me. He looks at me as if he is about to say something. “I don’t want to hear shit from you, brother. You and I are done unless it’s got to do with club business.”

  Not waiting for a reply, I head out to my bike needing to find Carly and hope that she forgives me for acting like such a prick.

  The ride to her apartment is short, but at the speed I'm traveling it's like nothing. Heading upstairs, I bang on her door. "Carly, I know you're in there. Answer the damn door before I break it down!"

  It opens, but the chain is still latched, so I'm staring at her through the couple inches the door is open. "You need to leave." Her voice is quiet.

  “No. I need you to open the door. I’m fucking sorry. I’m an asshole. Please let me in and let me explain.”

  "Just go, Jax. I can't do this to myself again." Hearing the tremble in her voice cuts me deep.

  She starts to close the door, but I stop it with my foot. "Do what again? This is the first time I fucked up, if I'm honest, it won't be the last, I'm sure. I need you to open the door and let me talk to you." She doesn't respond. "Open it, or I kick it down."

  I hear her sharp intake of breath, and a sigh as the door closes, and I can make out the sound of the chain rattling. When the door opens, I wrap my arms around her. She pushes against my chest and takes a few steps back creating a small distance between us that feels like it's the size of the Grand Canyon.

  Her eyes are red, and the fact that she's been crying only makes me feel worse. "What is so important, Jax?"

  "You." It's all I say, but it's true.

  She shakes her head and turns away from me. “I can’t go down this same road again. I can’t let myself follow this pattern knowing how miserable it made me before.”

  I walk around so I'm in front of her again. "What are you talking about babe? You aren't making sense."

  She sighs as her eyes meet mine again. "I'm talking about the fact that for years I let someone treat me like shit. The name calling, the anger, apologizing for it after but doing the same thing again. I can't put myself through it again. I learned that a snake can shed its skin, but no matter how many times they say sorry and swear they'll change, at the end of the day they'll always be a snake."

  The fact that she’s comparing me to him pisses me off. “Don’t do that. Don’t sit here and hold shit he did to you against me.”

  "I'm not." Her voice has more of an edge to it this time. "I'm holding what you did against you. It's just the fact that it's the same things he used to do. I'm not willing to be that girl again."

  "I get it, I really do. I should have never said what I did to you. I shouldn't have pushed you and made you feel guilty for following t
he rules of the world I brought you into." I take a step toward her, and she doesn't retreat. "I'm learning how to deal with this just like you are. I've lived this life for years, but I have never wanted to share it with someone."

  At that statement, her face softens. I take my chances and close the gap in between us pulling her against me. "I loved you all those years ago, Carly Ferguson. The woman you are today is even more amazing, and I can say without a doubt inside of me that I love her even more."

  Her body freezes as I say those words. “How can you say those things to me? We barely know each other aside from when we were kids. You can’t even have me in your life as your girl because of how I chose to come into it. Love is a big word to use and— “

  “I know it is. I also know that every single minute I’m not with you I’m thinking about you. When I’m not near you, it physically fucking hurts. I count the minutes until I see you again as soon as I walk away from you. Just because it’s fast doesn’t mean it isn’t real. I don’t care what anyone else says, I know that the way I feel is unlike anything I ever could have imagined.” I press my lips against hers needing her to not only hear what I’m saying but to feel it too.

  Her body relaxes against mine, and I can finally take an easy breath. "I don't want you to say anything back to me right now. I just want to show you how much I mean what I just said to you.” Lifting her into my arms, I walk toward her bedroom.

  Once I'm done with her, she won't have a single doubt.

  Chapter Ten

  Carly

  It’s been two days since we had the fight at the club and now I’m in the car with Jess on our way to a party at the clubhouse. Wrench didn’t want me going but since I technically had signed up to be one of the club girls I am required to attend.

  I was so ready to drop this whole thing, say screw it, and never mess with the club again. Then I got a check this morning from them and as shallow as it sounds I could really use the money. Jess said that they usually get money from the club once a month and it's always a good amount. I guess that's why they are so strict with the rules they expect us to follow.