NICK (Carsonbrothers Book 3)

by S R Dyble

  "Nick, please let me go, I can't do this anymore," I begged and my eyes started to well up with tears.

  "I'm never gonna let you go," he said, close to my face, "because I want you to be mine, do you understand me?"

  "Nick." I tugged at his arm while getting more and more upset.

  "Lilly," He fought against me to calm my arms so he could return his gaze on mine. I had to leave. He was dragging me back in.

  "You want me as your private little toy, I told you I can't do that anymore!"

  "I love you, Lilly!"

  I stopped struggling and stared at him between tears.

  "What?"

  "You love me, don't you?" he asked, desperately.

  I couldn't answer him, I was afraid to tell him the truth.

  "Lilly," he placed his forehead against me, "please tell me you still love me."

  I cried harder and slouched against the tree in defeat. I couldn't fight him anymore and had come to the realisation in my defeat.

  "You're just going to hurt me again." I shook my head.

  "No," he pleaded. "I know what I want."

  "I didn't know back then until I lost it, I didn't know until it was taken away from me. You wouldn't talk to me for so long, every day hurt more than the last and I hung on your every move, praying you'd let me talk to you again one day. I knew I didn't deserve it. I've loved you since that day at the hotel when you flooded the damn bathroom with bubbles. I knew sitting in the bath with you that I couldn't imagine being without you and it scared the shit out of me, so I fought it. I wouldn't allow myself to believe it or give in to it. So when that cleaner came on to me, I didn't stop her. I regretted it from the moment it started and I'm so sorry I let it happen, Lilly. I'm so sorry," he looked down and for a second I thought I heard his voice break. I brought my hands under his chin and made him look at me but he turned his head away so I couldn't see.

  "Nick, look at me."

  "No, I'm acting like a pussy," he answered before wiping away the single tear out of the corner of his eye.

  My heart expanded at the sight of him being so emotional, so full of guilt.

  "I'll leave you alone if you really want me to," he said defeated and lowered his arms so I could walk free if I wanted to. I stared at my way free, and then back at him. He looked so unhappy, so angry with himself that I couldn't contain myself anymore. I gripped a hold of his face and kissed him. His mouth opened partially as he stared at me in shock and it allowed for my tongue to creep inside to glide against his. Straight away his body answered mine and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing me back against the tree as his mouth and body moulded against mine.

  "I love you, Lill'," he breathed before continuing.

  "I love you too," I admitted as my hands ran through his hair and pulled him closer.

  I couldn't get him close enough but he pulled away, leaving me hungry for more.

  "Really?" he asked and I nodded.

  "I never stopped."

  A smile spread across his face before he continued to kiss me. The forest had been too beautiful to argue in, but was the perfect place for him to take me like this. We stood there for a while, just devouring each other in a rush of need. Nick's hand gripped my waist under my dress and ran his hands up my back and against my bra strap where he gripped me closer.

  "Lilly," he breathed, trying to separate our lips long enough to talk to me, but I wasn't having any of it and continued gripping at his body beneath his t-shirt.

  Then I began tugging at his shorts in an attempt to yank them down. I knew that what I was doing was crazy, but Nick made me crazy—crazy with need.

  "Not here," he said against my lips.

  "Here," I told him, a frenzy taking over my body.

  "I wanna make love to you somewhere special, Lill'."

  Hearing him say make love made my heart swell and it made me want him even more.

  "Make love to me against this tree, Nick, please," I begged.

  His eyes ignited with desire as I spoke to him, and his fingers gripped harder at my skin.

  "You want me to thrust into you against this tree? Right here?" he asked, gripping onto the tree.

  I hummed in agreement and closed my eyes as he trailed his lips down my neck.

  "Please, Nick."

  I knew I was starting to sound pathetic, but I needed him so desperately that I didn't care and he seemed to love the sounds of me begging. Nick let go of me and pulled my knickers down in one go, then he lifted me into the air and against his body. He'd also lowered his shorts and looked into my eyes.

  "You're still on the pill, aren't you?"

  I nodded and hummed as he lowered my body over his dick and slid inside of me. He gripped tighter onto my thighs as he held me pressed against the bark. It started digging into my back but I didn't care and wrapped my legs around him as he slowly started making love to me against the tree.

  "Oh God, Lilly," he groaned against my ear and kissed me there. "I've missed this so much," he breathed while gripping at my bare arse cheeks.

  I hummed in response and stared into his eyes.

  It had been so long since we had done this, but something felt different. Every stroke and thrust was fuelled by something different alongside the passion I'd felt from the very beginning.

  "I love you, baby," he said, burying his head into my neck.

  "Will you still love me once this is over?" I asked him, which caught him off guard.

  He looked directly into my eyes, making sure I was looking at him before he spoke.

  "Forever," he said, thrusting back into me.

  The word alone sent a bolt through my body and ignited my pleasure so much more, but the way the words rolled off of his tongue in his sexy as hell accent added to it.

  He began thrusting into me faster, gripping a hold of my thighs to give him some room to move backwards then thrust back into me again. It drove me absolutely insane until I was shouting his name and quivering against his body. I had come undone against him and felt my insides clenching around his length. It made him moan and he continued moving until he groaned and I felt him shoot inside of me.

  We each gasped for air, holding onto each other for just a few minutes longer before Nick gently slid out of me and lowered me to the ground.

  "That was…" he spoke against my lips, "fucking amazing…" he breathed before kissing me.

  I agreed and pulled his bottom lip into my mouth. His lips were so plump and silky soft. I didn't want to stop.

  "You gonna say something?" he asked once I stood there half naked, still wrapped in his arms.

  "I'm sorry, I just think I'm in shock," I answered. I never, ever expected Nick to admit he loved me. Never in a million years.

  "I meant everything I said," he told me and I nodded.

  "Me too."

  He smiled and nuzzled his nose against mine.

  "It's been a long time coming," he smiled.

  I felt so unsure heading back to camp and being amongst the others, but Nick gave my hand and little squeeze and I looked up at him. He offered me a smile and brought my hand to his lips.

  "I assume you've both hashed things out." Teddy smiled knowingly. "Coming back all happy and flushed looking and all…" he teased, making me more embarrassed.

  "Wouldn't you like to know, Teddy?" I said, smiling at him and taking a seat by the log.

  "Yes, yes I would," he grinned, winking at me.

  "You're heading in the right direction for a sucker punch, Ted," Nick said, smiling ever so slightly before sitting beside me.

  Teddy and Sawyer laughed and I searched around with my eyes to see where the girls were. Then they appeared by the water and made their way towards us. The second they got close, Nick got up and walked towards Olivia.

  "Livvy, can we talk?"

  Livvy?

  I knew he had to do this, but knowing they had a history and now Nick was walking away with her, I couldn't help but feel the jealousy.

  I tried to focus on th
e chatter around the fire and noticed Omar wasn't here. I frowned and wondered where he was when I saw him making his way to the fire. He sat beside me and I knew this was going to be brutal.

  "Judging by the redness to your cheeks, I assume you both worked it out?" he asked, making me feel embarrassed.

  Thankfully the others were talking amongst themselves and music was playing, meaning they couldn't hear.

  "Yes," I answered simply.

  He nodded. "Be careful, Lilly... he's dangerous," he said before getting up and leaving me there.

  My frown deepened as I watched him walk away. I already knew the dangers involved in being acquainted with the Carson brothers, nevermind being romantically connected to one, but what had Omar meant?

  Nick and Livvy returned shortly after and I watched as Nick hugged her then left her there to sit beside me where Omar had just vacated.

  "What did he want?" he asked me.

  "What do you think he wanted? He thinks I'm a sodding idiot," I told him before getting up and walking away from him.

  I knew Nick and I had had the most beautiful connection together in the forest, but I still couldn't hide the fear I had from everything that had happened between us. Nick had the ability to break me completely and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I couldn't stay away from him if I tried.

  I was thankful that he left me alone, and I walked to the end of the dock and sat there with my legs hanging over the side into the water. I'd placed my converse neatly beside me and stared out at the water, feeling the heat on my shoulder blades.

  I sat that way for about thirty minutes when I felt the wooden beams shudder beneath me. Someone was walking up behind me and I didn't turn around to look who it was. Then I felt large hands on my shoulders.

  "Just as I thought, you're burning," he said before I heard him squirting something into his hands.

  Nick started to spread sunscreen onto my shoulders and I stared at my feet in the water. The feeling of having his hands on my shoulders made my chest leap. He continued massaging my shoulders, pushing my bra straps down my arms to get an even coverage. My eyes closed as he continued massaging my shoulders.

  Once he'd finished, he sat beside me and slid his feet into the water with me. We sat that way for a short while before I looked at him.

  "Have you got sunscreen on?" I asked and he shook his head.

  I took the bottle and stood up with it, before kneeling behind him and squirting some onto my hands. Everyday I'd lathered myself in sunscreen because being in the beauty industry, I knew the damage that UV rays did to the skin. I now had an even tan despite the sunscreen being on my skin every day.

  Nick didn't have a t-shirt on which meant my hands could easily glide over his shoulders and around his neck. I made sure to do his arms too.

  "You've gotta stop, Lilly, you're giving me a hard on."

  I stopped instantly and stared at his shoulders before lowering myself to sit beside him.

  "Sorry," I said, staring at the water.

  He chuckled. "Why? I loved it. Just probably a bit too much…"

  I tried to hide my smile but it was no use.

  "You can't hide that smile from me, Petal," he teased and I looked at him before placing my head against his shoulder.

  "What's wrong, Lill'? You having second thoughts about us?"

  "Us?" I stared at him and he nodded.

  "You and me—us," he said as if it were obvious.

  "Well, you never actually specified the terms of us being us," I told him and he rolled his eyes.

  "Then let me make it really clear for you. I want you to be mine, I don't want anyone else touching you or thinking they can threaten or upset what's mine. I want you to be my girlfriend and I want us to be together."

  I gulped. This was the first time Nick had said he wanted me to be his girlfriend—the first time he'd been so open with me, and that wasn't all.

  "I don't need to tell you that I've never loved anything aside from my brothers, but I haven't."

  "Not even Olivia?" I asked and he shook his head, looking ashamed.

  "I explained everything to her and apologised for everything that I put her through. I didn't realise how much I'd hurt her because I was too selfish to even consider it."

  I hated hearing Nick doubting himself, but it was good that he was thinking about Olivia's feelings.

  "I don't wanna hurt you anymore, Lill', I know what I want now."

  I nodded and lifted my feet in the water. "I want you too. It's just gonna take some time for me to fully trust you again. Can you handle that?"

  "If it means I have you, I can handle that, of course I can," he answered.

  As night time neared, I was shocked by the lads offering to cook the food. They prepared burgers and beans over the fire and it tasted bloody amazing. Absolutely stuffed, I stared around at each of the people I'd met on this unplanned holiday and realised I would miss them once I went back home. Even Olivia in a strange way… I caught her looking at me earlier and she actually offered me a genuine looking smile. I wasn't sure exactly what Nick had said to her, but she returned looking much better and her attention seemed to shift more towards Sawyer who was lapping up the attention.

  "What are you thinking?" Nick said as he placed his plate down onto the grass.

  The music was still playing and the sound of gentle chit chatter relaxed me much more than I thought it would.

  "Does Sawyer have a thing for Olivia?"

  He nodded. "Since before me and Olivia ever…. You know… before we turned 14."

  "Wow, that has been a long time… I mean, you're practically ancient now…" I smiled.

  "Hey, I'm only 3 years older than you."

  I giggled as he pulled me into his lap, facing the fire. It was so surreal to have his arms wrapped around me sitting around a fire in such a beautiful location. The fresh air mixed with Nick's scent which was intoxicating and it drifted me into a deep relaxation against his body.

  "Do you still wish you'd never come here with me?" Nick asked against my ear so only I could hear. I looked around at him and shook my head.

  "I didn't mean that. I was just angry, I didn't know your intentions and thought you were just using me."

  He nodded, understanding what I was saying.

  "I'm sorry," he said again and I used my hand to direct his lips to mine.

  "I know," I said before kissing him.

  "Sparkler time!" Luna announced and got up to hand everyone a sparkler. I thanked her and stood up with Nick to light it in the fire. Once lit, it sparked up, throwing splashes off light from every angle. I stood back and began writing my name with it while Nick rotated his in a circle. Then I had the cheesiest idea and I wrote I love you, using a heart to shorten the text so he could see it before it faded.

  He smiled and pulled me closer to kiss my forehead. "I love you too," he said and then we moved closer to the others to join in. We each created different shapes until the sparklers died down and we dampened them in the water.

  We all stayed up late, but I could only fight sleep for so long and wandered over to our tent. Tomorrow I would have to attempt cleaning myself in the lake, that should be interesting I thought as I pulled my dress to pull it over my head. I gasped when the tent zip opened. I took a sigh of relief once I saw Nick climbing into the tent. He smiled at me and apologised with a grin to his face.

  "Did you pack some PJ's?" he asked and I nodded.

  "Good, just in case someone walks in, you never know with this lot..." he said then moved closer. He didn't have to move far considering the tent wasn't that big. It was strange to come from a huge beach house to a two-man tent with limited space.

  "Although I wouldn't complain otherwise."

  I smiled at him and pulled at his t-shirt, bringing it over his head before sliding it over mine and removing all of my underwear from underneath.

  "Now I'm naked, but I'm also not…" I told him and his eyes ignited as he lifted his hands beneath the hem of the top
and up my outer thighs. He ran his hands over my arse and took a deep breath.

  "God, you're gonna kill me," he said, pulling me over his body so I was straddling him.

  I quickly tugged at his shorts, removing everything and positioning myself over him. I still felt sore from having sex earlier in the forest, but I couldn't stop myself. I wanted Nick as much as he did me and I rode him as quietly as I could so that everyone else couldn't hear my gentle moans of pleasure.

  Once we'd both found our release, I laid beside him and he wrapped his arms around me after pulling his boxers back on. Somehow, we managed to share two sleeping bags by unzipping one and lying it flat onto the floor, then unzipped the other and used it as a blanket. His arm was my pillow and I snuggled further into his body. Despite being exhausted, I stayed up talking with Nick in the darkness. I told him about my parents discharging themselves. Once he'd reassured me as much as he could, it was time to change the subject. We spoke about the first night we'd slept together and the dress I had on. Nick made his remarks about it, just like he had done back then. Then we spoke about Kit, Eve and Erin, and about Delta. I told him how worried I was about what was going to happen and he held me that little bit tighter, kissing my forehead and telling me that everything would be okay. After talking for what felt like hours, I drifted off into a sleep.

  I woke up before Nick and had to untangle myself from his arms and body. Still in his t-shirt from the night before, I pulled on my shorts and gathered a few bits and pieces before making an appearance. I checked my phone and remembered I had zero signal here, then checked the time. It was 6am and somehow despite not getting much sleep last night, I was awake and desperate for a shower. I stared out into the lake and realised that it was going to be my only option. I walked over to the forest and hid behind a tree as I put my bikini on, then made my way to the water with my toiletry bag. I tried not to squeal as I lowered myself into the water, realising it was very cold first thing in the morning. I'd left my toiletry bag on the dock and reached inside for the 3-in-1 shower gel I'd taken from the bathroom. I first washed my body and looked around before cleaning in-between my legs and beneath my bra. It was so open here but I still didn't notice Omar heading my way. He walked down the dock and smiled down at me as I tried not to get shower gel in my eyes. I'd lathered up my hair and now just needed to rinse it. I just couldn't keep my head submerged long enough to rub my hands through it.