Then Comes Baby (Hanna’s Happily Ever After Book 2)

by Lillianna Blake

  It stunned me that his view on the situation had been so different. Was it really possible that he could be more attracted to me now?

  Chapter 14

  I had just started to think about taking Zara to her crib and crawling into bed for a quick nap when there was a knock on the door. I wasn’t sure who it could be until a text came through on my phone from Blu.

  It’s me, I just want to say hi, but if you’re not up for it it’s okay!

  I smiled at the thought of seeing her and fired a text back.

  Be right there.

  I eased Zara up into my arms and tiptoed to the door. She was still sound asleep when I opened it.

  “Oh, there she is!” Blu nearly squealed but stopped herself when she saw that Zara was sound asleep. “I’m sorry—you should be resting if she’s sleeping.”

  “Please come in. I’d love to spend some time with you.”

  “Okay, since you’re twisting my arm.” She winked and followed me inside.

  As soon as we were settled on the sofa together, Zara began to stir.

  “Oops, someone knows she has a visitor.”

  “Oh, gimme, gimme.” Blu grinned as she held out her arms.

  “Here you go.” I handed her Zara and smiled as I watched Blu cradle her in her arms.

  “She is just so beautiful, Hanna. I’m so proud of you.” She looked up at me and smiled.

  “I’m not sure that I did too much.”

  “Sure you did. You overcame your fear and let Jake in, you took a big step into marriage, and now you’ve become a mother. Really, how many more changes can you leap through with such grace and determination?”

  “I don’t know about the grace.” I laughed as I recalled running through the living room nearly nude. “But there was a good amount of determination.”

  “So what’s next?” She tickled Zara’s chin lightly. “Are you going to start working on a sibling soon?”

  “Ugh! If you weren’t holding my baby, I would throw something at you.” I shook my head.

  “Not interested yet?” She laughed. “Okay, okay. But seriously, are you looking forward to getting home?”

  “Yes, so much. I think once I’m there, I’ll be able to relax more. My mom has been texting me like crazy for pictures. She can’t wait to see Zara.”

  “How do you feel about that?” Blu met my eyes.

  “I know my mom and I had our issues growing up, but honestly, I’m really looking forward to her meeting Zara. One thing I love about my mom is how she was always honest about who she was. So she wasn’t that maternal, but she still loved us, and she was true to herself every step of the way. I think that’s pretty amazing.”

  “Yes, it is. And it’s important not to lose sight of yourself, no matter how much you love this little bundle of joy.” She sniffed the air. “Speaking of little bundles...”

  “Oh boy.” I laughed and reached for her.

  “I can do it if you want.” Blu stood up. “I know you’ve probably been on diaper duty full time since Jake left.”

  “Really? You don’t mind?”

  “Of course not. I might not have any kids of my own yet, but I was a nanny for a long time, remember?” She winked at me and set about changing Zara’s diaper.

  I was amazed by how gentle she was with her. Blu had all of the confidence that came from experience. She’d probably changed quite a few diapers in her life, but she still treated Zara as if she was the most precious being on earth.

  “Thanks, Blu.” I sighed as I relaxed back into the sofa. “I can’t wait until I get my energy back. I was hoping we might be able to go for a run.”

  “No, no. Not yet.” She handed Zara back to me, disposed of the diaper, washed her hands, then sat back down beside me. “Your body needs time to heal, Hanna. There will be plenty of time for running after that.”

  “But don’t you think I should get back to exercising as quickly as possible?”

  “How much have you slept in the past twenty-four hours?”

  “Uh.” I smiled. “What day is it?”

  “Right.” She grinned. “So right now the best exercise that you can give your body is getting a good amount of sleep, then you can start building from there. Back to basics—nutrition, rest, mental and emotional well-being. Right?”

  “Yes, you’re right. I needed that reminder.” I snuggled Zara close. “It’s so strange how different I feel now, as if everything I do is so important. It didn’t feel that way before.”

  “Just keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect mother, okay? Don’t get caught in that trap.”

  “I’m going to try not to, but I can’t guarantee it. Luckily you will all be around me to remind me. I can’t tell you how thankful I am to all of you. I’m so sorry all of this happened at your wedding.” I frowned as I recalled the commotion I made when my water broke.

  “Hanna, stop. Zara is the best wedding present ever. Besides, now we will always be able to remember our anniversary, because it’s also Zara’s birthday.”

  “Good point.” I grinned. “How is married life?”

  “Uh, I’m getting used to it.” She quirked a brow. “You know it’s funny, I didn’t think anything would really change. We already live together, we operate a business together, so how could a ceremony and a signature change anything?”

  “But it has?” I nodded.

  “Yes, I think it has.” She frowned. “I know it’s not the best time to chat, but can I confess something?”

  “Anything.” I took her hand in mine and wondered what she might have to say.

  Chapter 15

  Blu’s lips curved into a frown as she leaned closer to me.

  “I don’t think I like it.”

  “Like what?” I stared into her eyes.

  “Marriage.” She winced.

  “Well, it’s not even been two weeks yet.” I smiled. “It takes a little time to settle in.”

  “Is that true, though? I mean, I hear everyone say that the first few months of marriage are the sweetest. But I don’t feel that way. At all.” She slouched back against the sofa. “I feel like I’m constantly doubting myself. Before, I’d make decisions at the bar without the slightest hesitation. Now I feel like in order to be a good wife, I need to check with AJ first. Then he gets frustrated because I’m asking him so many questions. Don’t even get me started on the house chores. I have no idea what’s his job and what’s mine and what should happen if either of us doesn’t do them. Where is the fun in all of this?”

  “It sounds like maybe you’re taking it a little too seriously. I did that when I first married Jake. I thought I needed to have everything clean and be attentive to his every need.” I rolled my eyes. “It was pretty ridiculous.”

  “That’s the thing, though, it makes me so angry. All of it.” She shook her head.

  “AJ makes you angry?”

  “Not him exactly, but the fact that he exists—or his role—or I’m just not sure. I mean, he doesn’t do anything different to make me upset. But just being around him makes me feel like I want to throw something through a window.”

  “Ouch.” I studied my friend with some concern. “I know how much you love AJ. I know that it was a big decision for you to get married. Maybe there’s something you’re holding in that you need to express? Do you think he’s somehow different now that you’re married? Does he treat you differently or expect different things from you?”

  “Not really. In fact, we can’t even seem to get on the same page in bed. We haven’t had good sex since the wedding night. And I mean I have never, in our entire relationship, had a bad time with AJ. I feel like maybe he sees me differently. Like somehow I’ve changed. But I can’t figure out how.”

  “It sounds like you’re under a lot of pressure if you can’t relax and enjoy each other. You do have the bar to juggle and your postponed honeymoon to think about. Maybe you two just need to get away for a little while and spend some time one on one.”

  “That so
unds like a good idea, but what if he doesn’t survive?” She sighed. “I feel like the worst person in the world. I married an amazing man and I just don’t appreciate it, I guess. Honestly, I kind of wish we had never gone through with it.”

  “Oh, sweetie.” I shifted Zara in my arms so that I could hug her. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this, but I promise you, you’re not going to regret marrying AJ. We just have to get to the bottom of what is going on between you.”

  “The thing is, I don’t really think it’s going on between us. I think it’s between me and me—if that makes any sense.”

  “It does. You’re in a new role. Even though it shouldn’t be any different, it is. You promised to spend the rest of your life with AJ. Maybe you have some resentment toward him for that. Is it possible that you think he might hold you back? You went from being a nanny, with a lot of freedom, to being chained to a business and then dedicated to your husband—and all in a pretty short period of time. That’s a lot of freedom to give up, no matter how much you love AJ.”

  “That may be it.” She snapped her fingers. “Hanna, you know me so well. I’m sure that’s it. I keep thinking about all the places I’d like to go and visit, but I know that I can’t because we’re working on the business. But even if the business does well, AJ isn’t the type to roam. He’s so easily satisfied. He’d rather stay home than spend the money on a vacation. Which makes me feel foolish, because I do want to explore. I love little Zara.” She brushed her palm along the top of Zara’s head. “But I’m not ready for a baby of my own. Maybe it feels like that’s the next step in this. That could be why I feel some pressure. That you get married and you have a baby—that’s just how it goes.”

  “No, that’s how it went for me.” I laughed. “But that isn’t how it needs to go for you, Blu. You have plenty of time to figure out what you want. You’ve always been so independent. Maybe you need to go on a few trips on your own or with a friend. You and AJ don’t have to be attached at the hip just because you’re married. You can still make your own decisions and spend your time the way you want. Of course you want to be considerate of his feelings—which I know you always would be—but honestly, you can still have just as much freedom.”

  “I sure hope so.” She smiled. “You know, I came here to visit you and see if there was anything you needed, but you just gave me the best advice I could ever get.”

  “You know I’m always here for you—always. You’ve always been there for me. Life may change, but our friendship never will.”

  “Thanks.” She gave me another warm hug. “I love you, Hanna.”

  “Love you too.”

  As we broke apart, the front door swung open and music began to play.

  Chapter 16

  “What is that?” I stood up as Blu walked toward the door.

  Zara’s eyes opened at the sound of the music. It wasn’t too loud, but it was definitely peppy.

  Zoe walked in first, with bags up and down her arms, and Callie stepped in front from behind her, just as loaded down but with her cell phone playing music in one hand. Both had on sunglasses and dramatic hats.

  “Uh? What is going on here?” Blu laughed.

  “Oops.” Callie winced as she saw Zara squirm in my arms. “I didn’t really think about the baby when we decided to make an entrance. Sorry, Hanna.”

  “It’s okay, I think she likes it.” I grinned. “It looks like you two had a good time.”

  “Oh, we did.” Zoe smiled. “We found you a few cute outfits and of course us a few cute outfits and we decided we needed to make it a fashion show.”

  “A fashion show?” I stared at them.

  “Sure, we’ll set the lights to the right level, put on some music, and eat some expensive tiny snacks while we parade around.” Callie laughed. “Trust me, I’m an expert at this runway thing, remember?”

  “Oh boy. So sorry. I have to get to the bar.” Blu cast me a wink and a smirk as she headed for the door.

  I knew she wasn’t about to get in the middle of this. She might have worn a dress for her wedding, but otherwise she tended to be a tomboy and preferred plain clothing.

  I waved to Blu as she slipped out the door and wondered if maybe I should go with her.

  “I don’t know about this, guys.”

  “It’ll be fine. It’s just us.” Callie waved her hand. “Besides, you have to try everything on so you can decide what you like and what you don’t.” She set down her bags and held out her arms for Zara. “I’ll take care of this beauty while you see what you like.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, of course.” She grinned as I handed Zara to her. “I have so much to tell you about our shopping trip, Zara. You would not believe the cutie I saw behind the pretzel counter—”

  “Hey, watch it!” I laughed as I headed into my room with the bags.

  As uncertain as I was about trying the clothes on, I was also a little excited. Zoe had the absolute best taste in clothes and she had an eye for knowing what would look best on different body types. I knew anything that she picked out would be amazing. But I wasn’t sure if I would be able to feel amazing in it.

  I was going to make an effort, though, not just for myself, but for Zara—and Jake as well. I wanted the confidence back that I had somehow misplaced going through the last few months of my pregnancy. I knew that I could get there again, but I would have to be willing to work toward it.

  I spread the clothes out across my bed as I took in all the colors.

  Zoe loved color. She added it to everything she wore, everything she cooked, and it was a big part of her apartment decor.

  It had taken me some time to get used to the idea of wearing color. I’d gotten into the habit of choosing my clothes based on what would prevent people from noticing me. I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that I was different—that I felt too big, too shy, too hopeless.

  But I’d built up my self-esteem, thanks to my friends and to Jake. Now I loved to wear color. The shades weren’t an issue for me, but much of the clothing showed a lot of skin.

  There were tank tops with the sleeves pinched together with a thin piece of fabric. There was a skirt with slits so high that I wasn’t sure it’d be safe to wear on a windy day.

  I was receiving the message loud and clear. My friends wanted me to remember that I could be sexy, even if I didn’t feel that way.

  I avoided the more revealing clothes and stuck with some that were mild but pretty.

  As I changed, I expected many of the clothes to be too small. Even if they were the right size, that didn’t mean they would fit. I didn’t really know what my size was after having Zara, plus my stomach had shifted in ways that I hadn’t expected. I doubted that anything would fit.

  As I pulled the clothes on, I found that the blouse was a little snug across my chest, but the skirt that went with it was actually a little loose. I adjusted it, thinking that I just had it in the wrong position, but it was still loose. When I checked the size I was surprised to see that it was the size I had been wearing before I’d become pregnant. I expected that I would have gone up at least two sizes.

  Stunned, I wondered if maybe the tag had been printed wrong or attached to the wrong skirt.

  I turned to look in the mirror and expected to be disgusted with my reflection. Instead, I was surprised. The outfit was cut in just the right ways to accentuate my curves while downplaying the size of my stomach.

  I knew my friends were waiting in the living room to see me. After a deep breath, I headed out.

  The music was still playing.

  “No, no.” Callie laughed as I started toward them. “You have to walk the runway, you have to do it with attitude.”

  She joined me near the bedroom door, then stomped forward with all the confidence that she always exuded. I admired the fluid movement of her body and the way she nailed each step.

  “I’m not sure I can do that, but I’ll try.” I grinned as I tried to imitate Callie’s movement
s. However, I forgot that the living room was down a small step and my ankle rolled at the edge of it.

  I cried out as I tumbled forward and headed straight for the carpeted floor.

  Chapter 17

  “Oh, Hanna!” Zoe jumped up but she had Zara in her arms so she couldn’t stop me from face-planting into the carpet. Luckily it was quite plush.

  “Hanna, are you okay?” Callie rushed up behind me. “I’m so sorry!” She burst out laughing in the middle of her apology.

  “Callie!” Zoe giggled and turned around to try to hide her face.

  “Thanks a lot, guys!” I laughed as I pushed myself up onto my knees. “Wow, I think it’s clear that I would not make it in the modeling business.”

  “It does take a little practice.” Callie winked at me as she helped me to my feet. “But you looked great until that last step. Is your ankle okay? That looked like it hurt.”

  “It’s okay.” I smiled as I tested it. “My ego, on the other hand—that’s pretty bruised.”

  “On the upside, the outfit looks fantastic.” Zoe looked me up and down. “Though it is a bit conservative.”

  “Yes, I noticed the skirt that was missing quite a bit of coverage.” I raised an eyebrow.

  “Honey, you’ve got a great body—especially those legs—you should be happy to show it off.”

  “Sure.” I sighed and put my hands on my hips. “I do love everything you picked out. And I was really surprised that the skirt is actually a little loose. I guess most of my weight sunk lower than my waistline.”

  “Hanna, you look great.” Callie patted my back. “Did you ever consider that you might have actually lost weight?”

  “At least six pounds.” Zoe grinned as she rocked Zara in her arms. “This one is out cold. Do you want me to put her in the crib for you?”

  “I’ll take her, thanks.” I smiled as I took her into my arms. “Honestly, I hadn’t thought about it. I just figured I would have a lot of work cut out for me after I had her. I mean, my body certainly shows I have plenty to lose.”