Size Matters

by Alison Bliss

  “Oh, come on, Leah. We’re both mature adults here. It’s a natural act, one that most women tend to like. Besides, it’s just a yes or no answer. Has a man ever—”

  “No,” she said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. “The answer is no.” He was completely silent so she cracked one eye open and caught a glimpse of his dumbfounded expression. “Stop looking at me like that.”

  He shook his head and forced his jaw to snap closed. “Sorry. I guess I’m just surprised, that’s all. It’s not really the answer I expected.” Then he continued to stare at her, apparently not knowing what else to say.

  “See? This is why I didn’t want to talk about it.”

  Sam took a swig of his beer and tapped his foot insistently, as if he were nervous or something. “It’s not a crime to be a virgin, Leah.”

  “Virgin? I’m not a…” Leah realized she had misunderstood what Sam was asking her. She thunked her head on the back of his couch. “God, this just keeps getting worse.”

  He laughed. “Wait. So if you’re not a virgin, then what the hell did you think we were talking about?”

  “Um, I never had a guy…” She glanced at him to see if he was following her. “You know.”

  His eyes widened, as if he understood, but he grinned and played dumb by asking, “Do I know?” At least she thought he was playing.

  “God, don’t make me say it out loud. This is embarrassing enough already.”

  “No reason to be embarrassed, Leah. They’re just words,” he said evenly. “Just say it. You’ve never had a guy…” He waited for her to finish the sentence, but she didn’t. “Aw, come on! There’s like a hundred ways to say it. Just pick one: perform oral sex, go down on you, yodel in the canyon, eat your pu—”

  “Okay, stop. Now you’re just being crude.” She shook her head at him and laughed. “Yodel in the canyon? Who makes up this shit?”

  Sam chuckled. “No telling. But when you run a construction crew, you tend to pick up a few things.”

  “No kidding.”

  “Mind if I ask one more question?”

  “I doubt it could be any more embarrassing than the last one so why not? Go for it.”

  He stared into her eyes, and his face turned serious. “Why?”

  Okay, maybe I was wrong. “It’s just…well, I didn’t want them to.”

  He looked even more puzzled now.

  “Look, Sam, I know you think my mother is being mean by making comments about my weight, but she’s right about one thing. I’m not a size two. And the last thing I want is anyone in the male population to get an up-close view of my thunder thighs and realize that for himself.”

  A vein throbbed on the side of Sam’s forehead as he scowled at her. “Sweetheart, I’ve seen you in your underwear and any guy would be lucky to have your bare thighs wrapped around his ears.”

  Though a familiar heat seared her cheeks, she couldn’t help thinking the one thing he wasn’t saying aloud. Yeah, sure. Any guy except him.

  Chapter Nine

  Leah flung open the doors of her closet and tore through it looking for something to wear. One by one, she whipped clothes off their hangers, tossing them onto the bed as possible choices and continued searching for something better.

  “What are you looking for?” Valerie asked, watching her friend rush around the room like a maniac.

  “My pants. I can’t find my dark rinse Levi’s. Those have a slenderizing effect.”

  “Didn’t you already pack for your trip down to the coast?”

  “Yes, but I haven’t figured out what I’m wearing on the drive there. I need something that doesn’t make me look fat. Well, fatter than I already am.”

  Val rolled her eyes. “What’s wrong with the pair of pants hanging in front of you?”

  Leah shook her head violently. “God, no! Those are skinny jeans. Too tight. Too tapered. I’ll look like a chubby baby seal in those.”

  “Maybe you should’ve gone shopping for a new outfit like I suggested.”

  “No way! I hate trying on clothes. The dressing rooms are always hot, and nothing ever fits right. It’s mentally and physically exhausting.”

  “Aw, sweetie, if you’re this unhappy with your weight, why don’t you just join a gym already?”

  Leah shot her a searing look. “I told you why. I want to lose weight before I go to a gym.”

  Val groaned, reclined on the bed against the headboard, and stuffed another cheesy nacho chip into her mouth.

  “You’ve been the same size for three years. How do you eat that crap without gaining more weight?”

  “I work out.”

  Leah sighed. Figures.

  Valerie laughed. “I only work out a couple of times a week for the health benefits. And so that I can eat crap like this without gaining weight.” She stuffed another chip into her mouth and grinned. “But if some guy doesn’t like me for who I am, or the size I am, then that’s too bad. It’s not my issue, it’s his.”

  “Yeah, says the girl who actually goes out on dates and can get any guy she wants.”

  “Oh, please,” Valerie said, shaking her head. “Leah, we’re roughly the same size. The problem with you is that you worry too much about what other people think. You’re beautiful. You just need to stop letting other people tell you how you should see yourself.”

  “I know…and I’ll try.”

  “Promise?” The moment Leah nodded, Valerie grinned and held up the bag of chips. “Want some?”

  Leah laughed. “No, that’s okay. I apparently was so hungry earlier, I ate my lipstick off. Now I have to reapply it.”

  “Those are just your nerves. You really should learn to calm down.”

  Calm down? Ha! Easy for her to say. She isn’t about to deliver the performance of a lifetime to her family with a guy whose sole purpose is to make them hate him. All because he feels sorry for me.

  She snatched a random pair of pants off the hanger and punched her legs through them, one at a time. Then she jumped up and down as she yanked them up over her round hips. Sucking in her stomach, she buttoned and zipped them, but with such a tight waistband, her slight, yet unflattering muffin-top would clearly poke through any shirt she paired with these pants. A bummed sigh escaped her lips.

  “Problem?” Valerie asked.

  “You mean besides me feeling like sausage encased in entrails? Or how easily I can wind myself just by squeezing into a pair of pants?” Leah shook her head. “This isn’t going to work. I don’t have a shirt baggy enough to hide my mushy middle in these jeans.”

  “Hmm.” Val cocked her head, then jumped off the bed and strolled to the closet. She sifted through the rack until she found what she was looking for. “Try this one on,” she said, tossing Leah a black top. “It’s the same one you wore under your apron on opening day.”

  Without arguing, Leah slid into the shirt and waited for her friend’s assessment, though she’d already formed her own opinion. The ruching of stretchy fabric in the front of the shirt had a slimming effect on her tummy and was just loose enough to conceal any unsightly bulges. The fair amount of cleavage it displayed served as an added bonus, since it might be enough to keep a man’s eyes from traveling farther south to notice the more unseemly curves of her pear-shaped figure. “Well?”

  Val’s face broke with a slow grin. “Perfect.”

  The rumble of a truck pulling up had them both racing to the bedroom window overlooking the front of the bakery. “Oh, shit!” Leah said as Sam stepped out of his red truck and shut the door behind him. “He’s here early.”

  Sam’s muscular, denim-clad legs stopped on the sidewalk while he adjusted the collar of his green button-down shirt and ran his fingers through his dark chestnut hair. His biceps bulged against his short sleeves, stretching the pressed shirt tighter across his broad chest and causing Leah’s inner muscles to clench.

  “And hellooo, totally delish!” Val exclaimed.

  Leah nudged her with her elbow. “I don’t know why you�
��re acting surprised by that. You’ve already seen him before.”

  “Uh-uh. Not looking like that, I haven’t. Holy hell. No wonder you’re ignoring Max’s warning about him being the anatomical equivalent of a Ken doll. A girl doesn’t need a dick at all when the man can make you come just by looking at him.”

  Leah snorted and took another appreciative glance at Sam. Maybe Val had a point after all. Not that it mattered though. Sam was only doing all of this to soothe his conscience and get her out of the jam he put her in to begin with. He wasn’t interested in anything more.

  “Don’t worry,” Valerie said, double-timing it to the stairs leading down to the bakery. “I’ll stall him. Just finish getting ready.”

  “Val…”

  “It’s okay. I’ll be good, I promise.” Valerie winked.

  Well, Leah could use a few more minutes to get ready. If only a dab of lip gloss would make her look twenty pounds lighter. “All right, tell him I’ll be down in a minute.”

  Valerie started down the stairs, then hesitated and glanced back at Leah. “Honey, are you sure this is just him doing you a favor?”

  Leah nodded, confused as to why her friend was asking such a thing.

  “Then do yourself a favor,” she said, her eyes lowering as if she were deep in thought. “Don’t get too attached to Sam this weekend. It will only lead to heartbreak—yours, not his.” She offered Leah a sincere smile then disappeared from sight.

  Of course, Valerie was right. Maybe if Leah reminded herself of that enough, she could keep from growing too fond of Sam. Though it was probably a little too late for that already. The only way she’d be able to protect herself was by not reading into anything that happened. Because pretending to be engaged to a guy she liked for an entire weekend wasn’t going to be an issue. The problem was knowing he’d never reciprocate those feelings.

  Leah sighed heavily and slipped on her favorite pair of sandals. She was lucky to find anything in her closet to wear but hated that she still felt like a frumpy louse. Surely, there was something more she could do.

  According to every guy she’d ever dated, there were two things a man preferred bigger on a woman—her breasts and her lips. And since Leah had an overabundance of both, it was probably best she play up her strengths. Grabbing her pink makeup case, she rummaged through it until she found her lipstick and compact mirror. Then she carefully applied the bright red stain to her full lips, admiring her handiwork as she smacked them together.

  There. All done.

  Now maybe between the pouty red lips and the lack of clothing covering the boob zone, Sam would be too distracted to look elsewhere. Unfortunately, both still held a strong sexual implication she should be trying to avoid altogether, but it did make her wonder if he’d notice. Guess it’s time to find out.

  With her duffel bag in hand, Leah headed downstairs, rounded the corner, and stopped in her tracks. Valerie leaned lazily against the counter next to the cash register while Sam had his back turned to her, working diligently on an electrical outlet on the opposite wall. That particular outlet hadn’t worked since Leah had acquired the place.

  He already had the cover off and three wires—a black, a white, and a copper one—exposed, hanging loosely from the small square hole in the wall as he set down the broken outlet and picked up another. Where in the hell did he get that?

  Sam grasped the white wire and wound it around the end of the screwdriver he held, making a loop, and connected it to the new outlet. Just as he began to tighten the screw to hold it in place, something dawned on Leah. All of the lights in the bakery were glowing as bright as ever, meaning only one thing. Unlike before, he’d forgotten to turn off the power running to the outlet. Crap.

  “Sam, no!” Leah shouted, dropping her bag to the floor.

  Startled by the sound, Sam jumped, and his hand grazed across the black wire. His fingers twitched, and his arm tightened before he jerked back, quickly freeing his hand of the live wire as he swore under his breath.

  “Oh my God! Are you okay?” Leah raced to his side. “The wire shocked you, didn’t it?”

  Sam fisted his hand and then relaxed his fingers before letting them slowly stretch out once again. “Nope. I was just done looking at it.” He glanced at her sideways and gave her a yeah, right look.

  “Stop being such a guy and let me see,” she said, grabbing his hand and flipping it back and forth to check for burns.

  “It’s fine,” he said, wiggling his fingers in her palm. “See, everything still works.”

  Leah scowled at him. “What the hell are you doing changing out an outlet while the power is still on? Are you trying to kill yourself?”

  “Of course not. Valerie said you were still upstairs getting ready, and I wasn’t sure if you were using something that required electricity so I made do without turning off the main power. It was quicker than shutting off each individual breaker to figure out which one went to this outlet.” He turned to the loose wires and got back to work. “And for your information, I would’ve been fine if you hadn’t come in shrieking like you did.”

  She gasped. “So you’re saying this was my fault?”

  “Yep.”

  “Well, who the hell asked you to fix my broken outlet in the first place? Certainly not me.” Her gaze shifted to Valerie.

  Val was grinning her ass off at the verbal exchange as if it were her favorite TV show. “What?”

  “You asked him to fix it, didn’t you?”

  When Valerie shrugged innocently, Sam spoke up. “She didn’t have to,” he said casually. “I noticed the scorch marks on the outside of the outlet and happened to have a new plug in the toolbox of my truck. I was just trying to keep your bakery from burning down. Because, after all, isn’t that what a doting fiancé would do for his electrically ignorant bride-to-be?”

  Val belted out a laugh, but Leah eyed him suspiciously. “You’re looking to get another dessert out of this, aren’t you?”

  His mouth quirked in answer as he finished screwing the outlet cover back on. “Damn straight.”

  * * *

  Leah gestured to the driveway up ahead. “Slow down. You’re going to take a right here.”

  Sam tapped the brake lightly and turned onto a narrow driveway covered with loose, thick sand. His tires bogged down and slowed the truck to a crawl. He pressed the gas pedal harder, gunning the engine until the truck accelerated and glided over the soft drive with much less effort, then he followed the path up to a large yellow beach house that sat high off the ground on pilings. A white Avalon and a black BMW were parked beneath the home as if it were one giant carport so Sam guided his vehicle in next to them.

  He glanced over at Leah, who plucked at the jeans on her thighs with her fingernails. She’d been fidgeting since they’d left the bakery two hours ago. “Nervous?”

  “Aren’t you?”

  “Not particularly. Is there a reason I should be?”

  “Well, since we’re about to spend the weekend lying to my family about how much in love we are, and they’re probably not going to buy it, I’d say that’s a definite yes.”

  Sam didn’t miss the panic that flashed in her eyes, and the urge to lessen her fears took over. He gently covered her hand with his and squeezed. “Leah, you worry too much.”

  Her shy smile sent a buzz through him that stopped short of his groin, and he had no doubt it would only travel farther south if he stayed in such close quarters with her. “Everything will be fine,” Sam promised, removing his hand and climbing out of the truck. “Just play along with everything I say or do.”

  “Yeah, that’s the part that has me worried.” Leah sat there with her head down and limbs stiff, as if she were willing herself to move but was unable to do so.

  Sam had a sinking feeling he might need both hands free to drag Leah upstairs to the front door of her grandparents’ beach home so he ignored the overnight bags in the backseat. He strolled around to the passenger door, opened it, and offered Leah his hand.
/>
  “I just…need a minute.”

  “No, what you need is a tranquilizer. Look, the quicker we go inside, the quicker we get this weekend over with.” When she didn’t respond, he lifted her chin with his finger and gazed into her concerned eyes. “It’ll be fun. I promise.”

  Sighing, Leah shook her head. “Easy for you to say. It isn’t your family we’re about to screw with.”

  “I know,” he said, a grin spreading across his face. “That’s the fun part.” He grasped her hand, yanked her from the truck, and looped her arm through his as he led her toward the stairs.

  “What about our bags?”

  “We’ll come back for them later. Let’s just go up and say hello first so you can stop holding your breath. I don’t want you passing out on me.”

  The old, dry wooden stairs creaked and bowed under their feet as they climbed each step, leading them to the large, sun-faded upper deck. From there, Sam spotted the ocean sparkling under the late afternoon sun. It was immeasurable, stretching out as far as his eyes could see. The warm breeze coming off the water wafted over his face, leaving behind a salty residue he could taste on his lips.

  Leah stood there, staring at the front door of the beach house, then placed her hand on her stomach and shook her head. “Sam, I…I don’t think I can do this.”

  “Too late to back out now. We’re already here.”

  “We can leave. I’ll call my mom from the road and tell her we couldn’t make—”

  The front door swung open, halting her words.

  Leah’s uptight mother appeared in the doorway wearing a navy blue pantsuit, gaudy overpriced baubles, and sporting enough high-grade silicone to caulk an entire bathroom. “Darling, you made it. And you brought Sam with you.”

  Leah looked confused. “Mom, you knew we were coming. You invited us, remember?”

  “Yes, but after you left Gavin’s wedding reception so quickly, I thought maybe there was a problem, and perhaps things wouldn’t work out after all. It’s not like it would be the first time you—”

  “Nancy, it’s so good to see you again,” Sam said, purposely interrupting her. He wouldn’t have minded putting a piece of duct tape over her mouth, but instead he grabbed her slender shoulders and pulled her to him, giving her a big, awkward hug. Then he punctuated his rudeness by releasing her and stepping through the doorway, not bothering to wait for an invitation. “You have anything to eat? I’m starving.”