Size Matters

by Alison Bliss

To avoid Penny’s eyes, Sam glanced out over the field and let his gaze wander to the other visitors in the park. They strolled back and forth, checking out the water features and tossing coins into the fountains. Some even sat on blankets in the grass, breathing in the fresh air and admiring the beauty of the fountains from afar. Because although the sun was high in the Texas sky, it really wasn’t all that hot. Not with the warm breeze blowing over the water and the fine mist cooling the air. It was like Mother Nature’s own personal air-conditioning.

  Penny apparently had quickly shaken off Sam’s comment about the toilet bowl because she lifted the lid on the wicker basket and began unpacking it. “I brought us all some turkey sandwiches, chips, fruit salad, and apple fritters. There’s bottles of water in here too. If you don’t want that, there’s a soda machine at the top of the stairs.”

  Without a word, Leah’s brother took off at a dead run, making Sam grin. By the time Ethan returned, everyone had sat down, ready to eat. The group made light conversation as they took turns chatting in between bites. Almost immediately, Sam noticed Leah wasn’t saying much of anything. Actually, she’d barely said two words since they’d left the aquarium.

  His gaze shifted onto her, but she didn’t seem to notice. At first, he thought it was because she was people watching or marveling at the water fountains, but when she continued to stare off into space then grimaced, he knew something was wrong.

  “Everything okay, sweetheart?”

  She must’ve been deep in thought because it took her a moment to realize he’d spoken to her. “Um, what?”

  “You all right? You seem a little out of it.”

  “Oh, I’m fine. Just thinking, that’s all.” She paused for a moment, then changed the subject. “If everyone is finished, we can wander around and check out the other fountains inside the park.”

  “I’m done,” Sam told her, sliding his legs out from under the picnic table and the others followed suit.

  After throwing away their trash and tossing the empty bottles and cans in the recycle bins, Ethan ran his grandma’s basket to the car while the rest of them waited for him near the top of the stairs. When he returned, they strolled leisurely through the park until they happened upon a dancing water feature.

  Rows of small fountains spouted water in sequence to classical music emitted from mounted speakers. The soothing arrangement started slow and graceful, then escalated to a faster, dynamic tune, while the rhythmic water hypnotized them. Toward the end, the well-choreographed show delighted its audience with a surprisingly high spurt of jet-streamed water.

  “That was pretty cool,” Sam told Leah.

  She gazed up at him with her bright green eyes. “You should see it at night. They turn on the color-changing lights, which really make it spectacular. Next time we come back—” Her words cut off, and a fleeting look of disappointment flashed in her eyes. “I mean, if we had more time here together, I would show you, but…I know we don’t.”

  The finality of her words sank in, and his smile dissipated. Tomorrow was Sunday, and they would be heading home. Not only that, but he was supposed to make her family hate him, and at this point, he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to anymore.

  When he’d first suggested the idea to Leah, they had all been strangers to him, Leah included. Sure, he’d been attracted to her, but he still hadn’t considered any real longevity to their liaison—romantic or not. It was supposed to be a temporary relationship…a fake one at that. And although he hated to think it, if he hadn’t gotten her into a jam with her family to begin with, he would have already parted ways with her.

  But since then, he’d spent so much time with her and had gotten to know her better. They’d become fast friends, and he’d started to imagine—for some stupid reason—that they’d remain that way even after the charade came to an end.

  That couldn’t happen though. Not realistically.

  Once he upset her family enough to want him out of her life for good, Leah would dump him, and they would be forced to go their separate ways to keep her family from becoming suspicious. Because it wouldn’t make sense for Leah to break up with her fiancé one day and then hang out with him the next like nothing had happened.

  His chest tightened at the thought of not talking to her again. “Leah, I need to talk to you,” he said, unable to tone down the urgency in his voice. His eyes flickered to her family members, who were still watching the dancing fountains, then landed back on hers. “Alone.”

  Her brows drew together. “Okay. Um, Mom, we’re going to walk ahead. You guys catch up when you’re done here.”

  “Okay, sweetheart. See you in a few minutes.”

  As Sam put his hand on Leah’s back and guided her away from her family, his mind reeled. Sure, he and Leah would probably see each other around town once in a while. Maybe even stop to say hello. But that wasn’t the same as spending time together and making each other laugh. And Sam really liked that she made him laugh.

  They followed the sidewalk near a jogging path while he tried to think of a way for him to still see her. After they broke up, they would have to cool it for a while. No question about that.

  Maybe after a few months though…

  Yeah, that might work.

  But damn, even a few months seemed like an awfully long time to wait before seeing or talking to her again. As it was, the more time he’d spent with her, the less time he wanted to be away from her. Not just because she was pretty to look at or made him desserts though. No one made him smile or laugh as much as she did. Not even his friend Max. And although he’d only known Leah for a short time and they would soon be parting company, the thought of not seeing her again made Sam feel like…he was losing his best friend. His heart rate kicked up, and his skin crawled at the thought. Shit. No. There’s got to be another way.

  Once they were completely out of her parents’ sight, Leah stopped abruptly and turned to face him with genuine concern flashing in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

  She was warm, genuine, kind, and an all-around decent human being. Her easy charm, laid-back personality, and remarkable sense of humor were some of his favorite things about her. Leah always went out of her way to keep from hurting other people’s feelings, even if that meant taking a lot of flak in the process.

  He admired her ambition in opening her own business and respected how hard she worked to achieve her dream of running a successful bakery. Even for a girl who had self-esteem issues when it came to her body, Leah was completely confident in the desserts she created in her kitchen. And rightly so.

  Sam recalled what she’d said the night before about how being with a jerk was sometimes better than being alone, and it still pissed him off. Royally. Because no woman should ever feel that way. Especially one as sweet as Leah. She deserved better than that.

  Sonofabitch. He liked her. A hell of a lot more than he should.

  “Sam?”

  “We need to figure something else out.”

  “About what?”

  He ran a nervous hand through his hair. “I mean, we need to come up with another way out of this engagement. Something that doesn’t require your family to hate me.”

  She blinked rapidly. “What? Why?”

  Shit. Good question. If only he could answer it without getting her hopes up that they were anything more than just friends. He wished he could tell her how beautiful she was, how amazing he thought she was. But doing so would only complicate things between them. It was unfortunate, but his physical attraction to her was going to get him into deep shit if he wasn’t careful. “Because.” Jesus. That’s all I could come up with?

  “Because? What the hell kind of answer is that?” She gazed at him for a moment, and then her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared. “Damn it, Sam. Don’t tell me you’re backing out on me. You promised to help me get out of this mess.” When he didn’t respond right away, she threw her hands in the air. “Oh, that’s just great. So this is why you’ve been on your best behavior today? You c
hanged your mind about helping me and didn’t want to tell me?”

  “No, no, that’s not it. I’m not backing out on you. I’m just…wanting to amend our previous agreement.”

  “How come? What changed?”

  “I guess I did.”

  She crossed her arms and glared at him.

  He sighed. “Look, I know you’re upset. I’m sorry. I don’t really want your family to hate me, okay? They’re good people, and…well, I like them.”

  Most of them anyway.

  Leah closed her eyes and rubbed at her pulsing temples. “God, I can’t believe you’re doing this to me. You’re putting me in a position where I have no choice but to tell my family the truth.”

  “No. You won’t have to do that. I’ll help you figure out a different way for us to end the engagement. That way we can do so amicably and no one has to get thrown under a bus.”

  Her eyes shot open. “Are you nuts? That’ll never work. Who the hell breaks up with their fiancé on good terms?”

  “Leah, it’ll be fine. We’ll make it work, I promise. Just give me a little more time to figure out—”

  “Bullshit!” Her whole face reddened as if liquid fire ran through her veins, flaring her anger. “This was your idea. You told me it would work, and it didn’t. I’m not going along with any more of your half-baked schemes.”

  “Damn it, Leah. It would have worked…had I actually given your family a good enough reason to hate me. But I didn’t. I couldn’t, all right?”

  Leah crossed her arms and shifted her eyes away from him, breathing heavily. She was pissed, and he couldn’t blame her one bit. Her gaze hovered over his right shoulder momentarily then flickered back to his. “Well, that’s just too damn bad because I can.” She put her hands on her hips, and her face bent with rage. “You cheating prick!”

  His head snapped to her, along with some other nearby heads who overheard her remark. “Huh?”

  “Who is she?” she said, raising her voice even louder. “Who’s the whore you’ve been sleeping with behind my back?”

  Sam squinted at her and shook his head. “What the hell are you talking about?”

  “Oh, don’t play innocent with me. I knew you were a player when I met you, but I didn’t think you would keep seeing other girls on the side. God, I’m such an idiot. I should’ve known better than to get mixed up with someone like you.”

  A throat cleared behind Sam. “Is everything okay, Leah?”

  Fuck. Sam recognized that voice. He twisted his neck to see her father standing ten feet away. The rest of her family was there too, and all of them were witnessing Leah’s ridiculous, uncalled-for temper tantrum with wide eyes. Just fucking great.

  “Oh, everything’s perfect, Dad,” Leah said with sarcastic flair. “Only Sam is apparently cheating on me.” She covered her face with her hands and fake-sobbed into them.

  Goddamnit. That shit looks believable too.

  Sam turned back to her family and held up both of his hands in surrender. “I’m not cheating on her, I swear,” he said before spinning back to Leah. He lowered his voice to keep the others from hearing. “Leah, stop this. What the hell are you doing?”

  She kept her hands over her face but whispered back in a clear, determined voice, “I’m ending this…with or without your help.” Then she fake-cried into her hands some more, jerking her shoulders up and down as if she were expelling brokenhearted tears.

  Christ, he wanted to throttle her. And he probably would have if she hadn’t drawn such a large crowd of onlookers. Her family members weren’t the only voyeurs who had stopped to watch the one-woman show starring Leah while glaring at Sam like he was something they’d scraped off the bottoms of their shoes. Damn her. He was a lot of things, but a cheater sure the fuck had never been one of them.

  Sheepishly, Sam held up one finger to her family, silently asking them to give him a minute alone with her, and then steered Leah away from the growing crowd. He pulled her around a corner, where a long line of bushes blocked them from view. Once he was sure they were far enough away that her family couldn’t overhear anything, he stopped and wheeled around on Leah. “Okay, stop this shit right now.”

  Her face straightened instantly, and she glared back at him. “Nope. If you don’t want to help me anymore, then that’s fine. But you aren’t leaving me a choice. I’m tired of lying to them, and I want this over with…today.”

  He shook his head adamantly. “Not like this.”

  “Why? What do you care if they hate you? I mean, it’s not like you’ll ever see them again anyway. I’m the one who has to face them for years to come, not you.”

  “I know, but…”

  “But what? Jesus, Sam. Do you plan on becoming my dad’s bowling partner or something?”

  He shrugged lightly. He did like to bowl on occasion, but he didn’t think now would be a good time to bring that up. Especially since she was insistently tapping her foot, waiting for an answer to her question.

  When he didn’t give her one, she huffed out an irritated breath and threw her arms in the air. “Perfect. So now you have nothing to say?”

  Actually, he had plenty to say, but the words clung to his tongue for dear life.

  After another moment of silence passed between them, Leah said, “Damn it, Sam. Say something already. What the hell is your problem?”

  Without thinking, Sam replied, “You are, damn it. At the moment, you’re my fucking problem.”

  Stunned, Leah’s mouth fell open, lip quivering, and her incredulous gaze fixed on him. She may have faked the whole crying bit with her family, but there was nothing pretend about the moisture now glistening in her glassy eyes. Her gaze lowered, and she bit into her bottom lip as if she were contemplating what she’d done to upset him.

  But she hadn’t done anything. Not really. Unless acting like her adorable self was something. She looked so worried though, as if she was concerned that he really was mad at her. And he was. Because he hated that she didn’t know how beautiful she really was. Even when she was completely fucking clueless.

  “I…I don’t understand. Why do you care if my family hates you or not? Are you mental or something? You can’t possibly enjoy being fake-engaged to a woman you aren’t even attracted to.”

  He reached out and snagged her arm, pulling her closer. “You seriously don’t know, do you?”

  “Know what?”

  Unable to stop himself, Sam slid his hands up her neck, threaded his fingers into her hair, and pressed his mouth to hers. Her breath hitched at the unexpected gesture, but she didn’t protest or push him away. Good. He liked knowing that he affected her the same way she did him.

  His lips continued to move against hers, seeking more of the response he so desperately needed, until she tangled her fingers into the front of his shirt and leaned against him as if her legs were unable to hold her upright.

  Desire flooded over him, attempting to wash away any senses he had left. But he didn’t care. He angled her head, slid his tongue past her lips, and deepened the kiss. Every part of her mouth tasted like warm molasses. Sweet. Decadent. Intoxicating. Enough to drive a man entirely out of his mind. And the vanilla scent perfuming her fevered skin only worsened his craving.

  Which was exactly why he broke the kiss and tore himself away from her. They were in a public park where there were children around, and he was practically dry-humping her leg. Jesus.

  Leah licked her plump, swollen lip as if she was still trying to taste him there, but confusion filled her eyes. “W-what…was that for?” she whispered, sounding unsure of what the hell had come over him.

  Sam’s gaze darted briefly over her head and then back to her. He breathed out an expletive. “It was for me,” he said, knowing damn well that, in about three seconds, she’d never believe a word of what he just said.

  When a thoat was cleared behind her and Leah wheeled around to see her family standing there, her body tensed. She stared at their smiling faces for only a moment before turnin
g back to gaze at him with a scowl plastered on her face.

  He knew exactly how it looked. Although he’d spotted her relatives standing behind her after he’d kissed her, she undoubtedly believed he’d done so for their benefit to make them think the two of them had made up.

  And as much as he wanted to correct her assumption, he wouldn’t get a chance until he got her alone.

  * * *

  Leah’s heart sank.

  The moment she caught sight of her family, she quickly realized what a fool she had been. She lowered her eyes and felt the heat of embarrassment rush into her cheeks. She had thought he kissed her because he wanted to, not because he had to. Damn it. Why did she keep doing this to herself?

  He’d told her not to read into anything when it came to the two of them pretending to be a couple, yet she couldn’t seem to help herself. Each time he kissed her, touched her, or made some offhand remark about their nonexistent future together, she had been dumb enough to let herself hope that, somewhere deep down inside him, he’d meant every bit of it.

  But he hadn’t. Not once. There was nothing between them, and if that hadn’t been perfectly clear before, it sure as hell was now.

  Disappointed, she focused on the pavement beneath their feet, blinked away the unshed tears burning her eyes, and swallowed the lump forming in her throat. Her lips pinched tightly together.

  I can’t do this to myself anymore.

  Even just being friends seemed like an unlikely feat for the two of them after everything that had happened. Relationships—including friendships—were already complicated enough without the added stress of one person having feelings that the other didn’t return.

  Maybe that didn’t matter to Sam since he was the one who wasn’t returning the sentiment, but it sure as hell mattered to her. Unfortunately.

  From this point forward, she couldn’t allow herself to keep hoping he’d come around or change his mind. Not only because it made her feel worse about herself, but…well, it hurt too damn much.

  “Is everything okay over there?” her father asked, the sound of his husky voice wavering among neutral bystander, overprotective father, and fierce executioner.