Size Matters

by Alison Bliss

  Leah glanced at him and, without answering, turned her attention back to Sam.

  His laser-beam gaze seared into her. “Leah?”

  No way would she let him see how much he’d hurt her. Even if it had been unintentional, which she was sure it was. Sam would feel terrible if he knew he had hurt her, and then he would probably try to comfort her by telling her what a great person she was. Because that was what nice guys like Sam did.

  But she didn’t need his pity. Or want him to feel bad.

  Leah planted a fake smile on her face. “Everything’s fine. If you guys are ready to go home, we can head back to the beach house now.” She spun on her heel and stalked toward her family, not bothering to check to see if Sam followed.

  Her dad raised a suspicious brow, as if he still wasn’t certain what to believe. “You sure you two are okay?”

  “Yep, let’s go,” Leah said, then headed down the sidewalk toward the parking lot.

  The car ride back to the beach house was excruciatingly painful. Though her grandpa’s driving hadn’t improved any since that morning, Sam and Leah sat stiffly in the backseat listening to the oldies radio station playing quietly in the background while her grandma prattled on about the thunderstorms expected to make an appearance later in the evening.

  Sam’s somber expression told Leah that he wasn’t happy about something, but she was damn tired of trying to decipher his thoughts and actions. Besides, she almost always got it wrong anyway. Like here she was hoping he was upset because he realized he’d somehow hurt her, but deep down, the man was probably just disgruntled by the injustice of having a small penis.

  The errant thought passed through her mind so quickly that she couldn’t help the unexpected giggle that accidentally slipped past her lips. She covered her mouth and glanced over at Sam to see if he’d heard it.

  “Something funny?” Sam asked, shifting his eyes onto her, though there was no amusement in them.

  Oops. “Um, no. Nothing.” She smirked as she turned her head to look out her passenger window. Okay, so it was a low blow…even if it was supposedly true.

  Sure, the information Valerie had shared with her about the size of Sam’s package had come from Max, and he was one of Sam’s closest friends. But that didn’t mean he had knowledge of how big his buddy’s dick was. Friends or not, that kind of intimate detail probably wasn’t shared often among men. And even if Max had seen it for himself, Leah doubted Sam would have been fully erect at the time. Otherwise, I have way more to worry about than the size of Sam’s dick.

  What constituted big or small anyway? The average penis was only around five or six inches in length, though most guys probably thought that was tiny in comparison to a porn star’s equipment. Not to mention the different elements that factored into it all: length, girth, and even swelling.

  Maybe Sam was just a grower.

  She started to glance over at his crotch, but a twinge of remorse settled inside her. Oh God. Stop it, Leah. Quit thinking about the man’s junk already. He’s not even into you. Releasing a plaintive sigh, she went back to staring out her passenger window and watching the palm trees blur past.

  By the time her grandfather pulled into the driveway, the late afternoon sun had already begun its descent toward the horizon, and the heat had started to dissipate. The others stood below the beach house chatting while Leah politely excused herself and headed upstairs to busy herself in the kitchen.

  She’d promised she would make chocolate mousse for dessert, and if she was good at anything, it was at keeping her word. Unlike Sam. If she had known he was going to pull this crap and back out on her at the last minute, then she would never have let the fake engagement ruse continue.

  In such a short period of time, everything had become so muddled. Now she needed to figure out what she was going to do before she and Sam got in any deeper with her family. Basically, before her mother started planning the wedding of the century that neither of them would be attending. Sheesh.

  Twenty minutes later, the front door creaked open. Leah figured it was her grandmother coming up to grab the hamburgers they were supposed to toss on the grill for dinner. But just as she spooned the last of the mousse into the glassware she’d lined up on a tray, a man’s voice said, “Can I help with anything?”

  Leah’s head shot up to see Sam standing in the kitchen doorway with his hands shoved deep into his pockets like a little boy who had been scolded for something he’d done wrong. “I think you’ve done enough,” she said, setting the empty mousse bowl aside and reaching for the plastic wrap.

  Warily, he entered the kitchen but stayed near the door as if he expected he might need a quick getaway if kitchen utensils started flying toward him. “Look, we need to talk.”

  “I don’t want to talk to you right now. I’m still mad at you for the crap you pulled earlier.”

  “Leah, just let me just explain.”

  “What is there to explain? You want to change our agreement and come up with a new plan. But there’s no time. I can’t keep lying to my family. The old plan was fine.”

  “Not if we were going to remain friends, it wasn’t.”

  Leah eyes met his. He wanted to be friends with her. Just friends. And the thought made her want to bawl her eyes out. Because what she wanted was something completely different. Something he wasn’t willing or able to give to her.

  Wordlessly, she covered the entire tray with a sheet of plastic wrap before carrying it over to the fridge. She moved a few things around to make room for it, then set it down inside and closed the refrigerator door to find Sam standing on the other side. She tried to maneuver around him, but he blocked her path.

  His piercing eyes held hers, not allowing her to look away. “We are friends, aren’t we?”

  Yeah. Friends. Leah stuffed all of her unwanted feelings for him into an emotional storage compartment and shoved it into the attic of her mind, hoping it would grow dusty and moldy and she’d forget all about it. “Sure,” she muttered, shrugging a nonchalant shoulder. “Of course we are.” Damn it.

  His stance immediately relaxed, and she moved away from him. “Then how do you feel about being friends with benefits?”

  Leah froze with her back to him. What did he say?

  “Leah.”

  She turned to face him. “I…don’t think I know what you mean.”

  He grinned. “Oh, I have a pretty good feeling you do.”

  As he eased toward her slowly, Leah backed away until her ass bumped into the counter behind her. He couldn’t possibly mean…

  Sam placed his hands on the counter, caging her between his arms. “Well?”

  “Well, what?” she asked breathlessly.

  He chuckled. “Come on, Leah. You can’t possibly be this surprised to find out I’m attracted to you.”

  Wanna bet?

  She shook her head in denial. “Are you kidding?”

  His heated eyes glanced down her body and back up to her face. “Do I look like I’m at all joking?”

  No. Actually, he looked like he wanted to eat her up. But she still couldn’t wrap her brain around this new development. Sam was attracted to her? Since when? And why? “I…I don’t know what to say.”

  “You don’t have to say anything. I don’t want to push you into doing anything you’re uncomfortable with. Just think about it, okay? You know how I feel about relationships. I may not be looking for a serious one, but that doesn’t stop me from being your friend…or from wanting to fuck you.”

  Holy shit! Heat pooled in her abdomen, blazed up her neck, and landed in her cheeks. She tried to remain calm, but her vagina wouldn’t stop yelling Yes! Yes! Yes! from beneath her clothing. “I’ll…um, think about it,” she said coolly.

  “Okay, good,” he said, dropping his arms and taking a step back to give her room. “No matter the answer, it’s not going to affect our friendship any. Just let me know what you decide.”

  She nodded and let out a slow breath. “Where are the others?”
she asked, changing the subject as quickly as possible. “We need to get the hamburgers on if we want to eat dinner sometime tonight.”

  “They’re still downstairs. Your dad set fire to the grill.”

  Leah looked at him funny. “You mean he lit the grill?”

  “No, I mean he set fire to it. It looks like a goddamn bonfire down there,” he said seriously. “I was on my way upstairs when your grandma asked me to get the hot dogs because our hamburger cookout has now turned into a weenie roast. She also asked me to get you out of the house before your dad burned it down and accidentally killed his only daughter.”

  Leah smiled. “So you came to play white knight and save me, huh? And here I was thinking you were just hoping to get a sample of tonight’s dessert.”

  “Who, me?” His eyes widened, feigning innocence. “I would never resort to putting your life in danger just so I could get my chocolate fix,” he said while eyeing the empty mixing bowl she had used for the mousse.

  “Oh really? Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to lick the bowl, but since we are in danger of burning alive…” She placed the bowl in the sink and turned the water faucet on high, rinsing the leftover chocolate away.

  Sam shook his head. “Damn it, woman. What the hell are you doing? We could’ve spared a few extra minutes.”

  “Ha! I knew it.”

  He grinned at her. “You are an evil woman.”

  “Says the man willing to let me die for the sake of chocolate.”

  Sam belted out a deep, rich laugh. “Actually, I was hoping you would run screaming from the house and leave me in here alone with the dessert. But I guess you probably figured that tactic out already.”

  “So you lied about the weenie roast, huh?”

  “Nope, not at all. That part was true. Except the grill is in the middle of the backyard now rather than under the house, and the only danger you were in was me eating everyone’s dessert.”

  “It wouldn’t be any good right now. It has to chill for at least half an hour so it will set up properly. Otherwise the mousse will be runny.”

  “Well, we can’t have that, now can we?” He nodded toward the door. “So are you coming downstairs with me or what? I wouldn’t want your grandma to get onto me if I don’t get her granddaughter to safety.”

  “Yeah, I guess so. But only for a little while.” The corners of her mouth lifted. “I probably shouldn’t leave the dessert unguarded for too long.”

  Sam winked at her and nodded. “Smart girl.”

  After loading their arms down with all the fixings for hot dogs, they headed down to join the others. Sam really hadn’t lied about the bonfire. The flames on the charcoal grill were so high that Leah was surprised the fire department hadn’t been called out.

  “There you are, Leah,” her mother said, sitting at the picnic table with the others. “Your grandmother and I were just discussing some ideas for the wedding.”

  Leah grimaced. “Mom, we don’t have to do that right now. There’s plenty of time to do that later.” Like when I am engaged to a man who is actually going to marry me rather than one who just wants to sleep with me.

  God. She still couldn’t believe what Sam had proposed upstairs. The thought of sleeping with him sent a shiver up her spine.

  “Sweetheart, we have to start talking about these things now. Do you know how much thought goes into a wedding?” It must have been a rhetorical question because her mother barely took a breath before the next question flew out of her mouth. “What do you think about having canapés served at the reception rather than a full-course meal? It would be much more sophisticated, I think.”

  Sam plopped down at the far end of the table, cleared his throat, and fiddled with the collar of his shirt, seemingly uncomfortable with the entire conversation. After everything he’d told Leah about his past with women, the last thing he obviously wanted to do was plan a wedding. Even a fake one.

  Of course he should have thought about that before he bailed out on their plan and then let her family believe they had made up at the park. If he had just left things alone, the engagement would already be called off, and he wouldn’t have to endure the torture of listening to her mother go on and on about a stupid wedding that would never take place.

  Leah rubbed her temples. “Mom, we haven’t even set a date yet.”

  “Well, that’s easy enough. I’ve been thinking about where we should have your wedding, and I had a great idea. It should be at the Water Gardens. It’s a wonderful location, and the fountains would make a beautiful backdrop for the wedding photos.”

  Leah shifted her weight and bit her lip. “Um, I don’t know, Mom.”

  “Well, why not? It would be perfect. You always said you wanted to be married here, but it would be a much more suitable location than what you had in mind.”

  Leah glanced over at Sam, and her right eye twitched nervously. She thought he would still be slinking away from any talk of marriage or wedding plans, but his gaze was glued to her, as if he were waiting to hear her response as well. “Mom, let’s not talk about this right now. There’s plenty of time for that late—”

  “What other location?” Sam asked, injecting himself into the conversation and effectively cutting Leah off. When she didn’t answer him right away, he shifted his eyes onto her mother. “What other place, Nancy?”

  Her mom waved her slim hand through the air dismissively, as if she couldn’t even bother considering the idea. “Oh, Leah had this crazy plan about having a wedding on the beach. But I told her it isn’t a smart choice for formal wear.”

  “And I told you that I don’t want a formal wedding,” Leah corrected, crossing her arms.

  “Sure you do, dear. Every girl wants to look beautiful for her wedding. Besides, squeezing into a fancy gown on your special day would give you a good incentive to lose a few pounds.”

  Leah swallowed the gasp that tried to vacate her mouth and scowled at her mother. My God, did she have to say that right in front of Sam of all people? It’s like the woman purposely tried to embarrass her at times.

  “That’s enough,” Sam said, his eyes focused firmly on Leah’s mother. “I don’t want to hear those kind of insulting remarks about my fiancée.”

  Leah cringed. Oh, no.

  Her mother blinked in apparent shock. “Insulting? I…I’m not insulting her.” Then she pushed her hair away from her face as she regained her composure. “I’m just trying to give my daughter some good advice. Lord knows she never listens to it anyway.”

  “Nancy,” he said, lowering his voice in warning. “I asked you nicely to stop nagging Leah, but now I’m telling you, drop it already.”

  “Oh, Sam, don’t be ridiculous. I’m just trying to point out—”

  Sam slapped his hand down on the picnic table so hard the entire table shook, and her mother startled. “Damn it, Nancy! What part of this do you not understand? I’ve let this go on far too long, and I’m ashamed of that, but I’m not going to do it anymore. I won’t stand by while you embarrass your daughter—or yourself—any more than you already have.”

  Her mother huffed out an exasperated breath. “I’m not embarrassing her. There’s nothing shameful about Leah wanting to improve herself.”

  Sam’s eyes narrowed as he shook his head. “I agree. But the only person here who wants to improve Leah is you.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sam bit his tongue so hard that he swore he tasted blood.

  He’d had enough of Nancy’s bullshit, and if he had kept his mouth shut any longer, that would have made him just as bad as the rest of them.

  Without a word, Nancy rose from her seat and went upstairs without so much as an apology. There goes her Mother of the Year award.

  Not that she would have ever received one from Sam. What kind of mother needles her only daughter nonstop about her weight? It was as if she was oblivious to how she snuffed out the light in her daughter’s eyes every time she publicly humiliated her.

  The tension
hovering in the air was so thick that Sam had to clear his throat to keep from choking on it. Thankfully, Leah’s grandmother took control of the situation and turned everyone’s attention to the food.

  As each of them took turns burning their wieners in the blaze, Sam noticed how quiet everyone had grown. The silence had settled over them like a warm, comfortable blanket. Soon after everyone had finished eating, Jack and Penny retired for the evening, reminding Bill to make sure the fire was completely out before he left it unattended.

  While Bill stood in the middle of the yard dousing the fire, Sam glanced over at Leah. “You okay?”

  “Sure. Everything is fine,” she said, trying to sound cheery, though her low, remote tone gave her away. Not allowing her gaze to meet his, Leah moved to a nearby lounge chair and sat on the end of it. With her shoulders slumped and her chin down, she twisted her fingers together over and over again, growing more and more distant by the second.

  Sam sat behind her on the same lawn chair, his weight making her rise a little as he positioned himself and scooted closer to her. He leaned forward until his chest was almost touching her back. “You don’t have to pretend with me,” he whispered.

  “I—I’m not.” Before he had a chance to say anything else, she rose from her chair. “I think I’m going to turn in too.” Then she started for the house.

  Sam couldn’t let her walk away without telling her one thing though. “Leah?”

  She stopped in her tracks and spun toward him. “Yeah, Sam?”

  “A beach wedding sounds perfect to me.”

  An appreciative smile spread across her face, then she continued on the path to the stairs and disappeared from sight.

  Bill came over and plopped down in a plastic lawn chair that was adjacent to Sam’s. “Do you mind if I have a few words with you, Sam?”

  Sam nodded. “Sure. What’s on your mind?”

  Leah’s father glanced over at his teenage son, who was sitting at the picnic table playing a game on his phone. “Ethan, why don’t you do me a favor and go grab us a couple of beers from the fridge upstairs? I’d like to talk to Sam alone.”