Breaking Through (The Breaking Series Book 3)

by Juliana Haygert

  Gui chuckled. “Glad you like it.”

  After that, Bia strode off to continue offering chicken hearts to the guests, Garrett went with her, Ri and Lauren walked off to receive more guests, Pedro took Ivy to dance, and Leo did the same to Hannah.

  A smile on my lips, I watched as they danced like Gui and I had danced last night, but much better.

  Gui brushed his fingertips on my elbow. “Hey.”

  I looked up at him. “Hm?”

  “Want to say hi to Pampa?”

  “I would love to.”

  Gui

  Hilary extended her hand over the stall door and brushed Pampa’s muzzle. The horse took a step closer, pressing against her touch.

  “He likes you,” I said, smiling.

  I liked her.

  Fuck, she looked so beautiful today. She wore a floral green and white dress with high heels that wrapped around her ankles, and her golden hair fell into waves down her back. I knew she had makeup on, but it was only a small touch that accentuated her beauty, the fullness of her lips, the bright shine of her green eyes.

  Right now, she looked feminine and hot.

  She turned that wide smile to me and I inhaled sharply. Damn, she would kill me.

  “I like him too,” she said, pulling her hand from my horse. Slowly, she turned around and looked at the other stalls in our main stable. “So, if Minuano, Preta, Midnight, and Felicity are all at Hannah’s ranch, whose are all these other horses?”

  I beckoned her to walk along the stable’s main corridor with me and presented her to all the horses. There was Poncho Negro, Astro, Limão, Charrua, Generoso, Trovão, Ricardo’s horse, Crioulo, and Pedro’s horse, Coronel. All the others were João Pedro’s horses.

  “All of these are from Brazil?” she asked, peering into Astro’s stall. He was a horse with a dapple coat—a pretty mixture of white and gray that looked like splotches of paint all over his body.

  “No, not all, but most.”

  Suddenly, the song coming from the big speakers Ri and Pedro installed this morning died, grabbing my attention. What was happening? Would Ri stand up on a chair and thank everyone for their presence?

  Hilary and I walked to the stable main gates and looked out. In the distance, everything looked normal. Tio João Pedro handling the churrasqueira, tia Agnes helping him out while also in charge of the kitchen, and the guests mingling, talking.

  “That’s odd,” Hilary said. “It’s like, the speakers lost power.”

  “I’m gonna check it out.” I took a step toward the house when a new song played from the speakers.

  All the gaúchos cheered. This song was like a little anthem to our people.

  Hil gasped. “Wasn’t this the one you played yesterday while trying to teach me how to dance?”

  I noticed the emphases she put on the word trying.

  “Sim. The one and only.”

  Ri, who probably was changing songs looking for this one, rushed down the porch steps and grabbed Lauren, taking her to the spot that now doubled as a dance floor. Leo and Hannah, and Pedro and Iris were already there. Then, Bia showed up with Garrett. And even tio João Pedro paused his work at the churrasqueira to take tia Agnes to dance.

  A sudden pride and urge filled me in.

  I extended my hand to the girl beside me. “Want to dance with me?”

  She gaped at my hand, and then her eyes shifted to the crowd behind the big house. “Hm.”

  I lowered my hand and disappointment made its way into my chest. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “No, it’s okay.” She made to reach for me, but stopped and clasped her hands behind her back. “It’s just … big crowd. I don’t really know the dance, and …” She reached to her feet and pulled her shoes off. “Ah, much better.” She let the shoes fall beside her and spread her toes in the grass. “Damn these new shoes. They were assassinating my feet.”

  I looked down and saw angry red marks on her ankles and her toes.

  “Oh yeah, you wouldn’t want to dance with those.” I frowned. “Those look bad, though. Want to go in and grab some ice? Or something else to help out?”

  She waved her hand, dismissing it. “It’s okay. It doesn’t hurt too much.”

  Silence fell over us as we watched the dancers.

  Ri dipped Lauren and, too excited, he tripped and they both almost fell.

  Beside me, Hilary laughed, unbound and free, and I glanced at her, admiring how beautiful she was when she let her walls down. That smile, that laughter … I wanted to see them stamped more often on her pretty face.

  When the song was done, Ri yelled, “De novo! De novo!” and someone restarted the song.

  Chewing her bottom lip, Hilary turned those big, green eyes to me. “I changed my mind.”

  I lifted an eyebrow. “About?”

  “Dancing with you.” My eyes widened. She raised a finger and said, “One condition, though. We have to dance here.”

  I laughed, and then took her hand in mine. “I can do that.”

  I pulled her to me—trying to focus on the fact that we were two friends having a good time, and not on the fact that she was too hot and looked so beautiful and fragile and small without her shoes, and that she was too close to me, looking up at me with a big smile—and we danced.

  Chapter Seventeen

  After a quiet Sunday, Monday was busy at work. Margot and Karl showed me their projects and asked my opinion, which led to long conversations about the best color, the best cut, and best details. Then there were the wedding clothes, which took a lot of my time.

  Thirty minutes late, I left work and found Gui pacing on the sidewalk in front of the parking lot.

  “Gui?” I called, approaching him. He stopped pacing and turned to me.

  “Hey.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  He pulled off his baseball hat and ran a hand through his hair, then tucked the hat back. “I heard there’s a great new ice cream shop around the corner, and I know how much you like ice cream.”

  A knot marred my forehead. So, he had come here to take me to eat ice cream? That didn’t make much sense.

  A trickle of fear ran up my spine as a burst of yearning filled my chest, but yearning for what?

  Both emotions made me feel self-conscious. I drew in a sharp breath, well aware that my cheeks were probably red right now.

  Gui shifted his weight. “I thought … I thought you would like to go check the place out.”

  I snapped out of my trance and cleared my throat. “Yeah, why not?”

  Stuffing his hands in his jeans pockets, Gui turned to the street and I fell in step with him. We walked the first half block in complete silence.

  Then I suddenly halted. “Wait. You don’t even like ice cream?”

  He stopped beside me and shrugged. “But you do.”

  As if not wanting to talk more about it, Gui jerked his chin toward the street and started walking again. Still dumbfounded by the sudden revelation, I resumed walking too. After scurrying for four steps, I caught up with him and decided it was best if I didn’t say anything else for now.

  But … what the hell was going on?

  “I’m going to Los Angeles tomorrow morning.”

  “Oh yeah, the tournament, right?

  “Sim.” We turned the corner and Gui pointed to a yellow and blue sign almost a block away. “There.”

  The Blue Bowl was the name of the place, and yeah, it was new because I didn’t remember seeing it before.

  “How did you hear about this place?”

  “Bom, I—”

  “Gui!” someone shouted.

  Both of us stopped and turned to the voice. Shock hit me in the face as I saw a pretty girl with long, black curls jogging toward us, a big grin on her face.

  “Gui!” she exclaimed, throwing herself at him. Her arms were around his neck before I could blink.

  But Gui looked as shocked as me. His arms were slack beside him, and he didn’t seem to breathe un
til the girl pulled away and smiled at him.

  “Haven’t seen you in a while? How are you?”

  “Hey, Ashley.”

  She clasped his biceps. “Hm, someone has been working out. How is polo? Still the love of your life?”

  I couldn’t help the crazy feelings that swelled in my chest. Jealousy, disappointment, and embarrassment. Always embarrassment.

  Without meaning to, I took a few steps back as the girl chatted with Gui, and he seemed … lost? Surprised? Ashamed for being caught with one of his many girls?

  Another pang of jealousy exploded in me. Damn it. I couldn’t feel this way. It was not right. Gui was nothing more than a friend. He could do whatever the hell he wanted, and if he wanted to change our ice cream plans to go out with this girl instead, so be it.

  The girl wore a short dress that hugged her perfect body. With that hair, that face, and that body? Why wouldn’t a guy want to spend time with her?

  I looked down at myself. Pencil skirt and a loose blouse and pumps hiding what wasn’t there—my small breasts, my narrow hips, and my thin legs.

  I snorted. Dr. Walker would be proud of me at this moment. I was finally showing more emotions than I had in years. I hadn’t felt jealous or cared if a guy found me attractive in three years.

  Before, when I was desperate for being rid of my past and the weight it held over me, I would say that this kind of self-consciousness and the jealousy would be welcomed at any time.

  Now, I wasn’t so sure.

  I turned to leave.

  “Hil, wait,” Gui called out. He took two steps toward me, then stopped and looked back at the girl. “Sorry, Ashley, but I’m here with Hilary. See you around.” The girl, finally seeing me, shot me daggers with her eyes as Gui turned his back to her and halted in front of me. “Sorry about that. I hope you’re still up for ice cream.”

  I opened my mouth to ask him why. Why was he doing this? Why was he ignoring this girl, and not doing whatever the hell she wanted, to take me to eat ice cream, which he didn’t even like? Why was he wasting his time with me? Why?

  But the words didn’t form. They got stuck in my throat. The truth was, I was afraid of what would happen if I did utter them, if I asked him all that.

  I wasn’t that brave. Actually, I wasn’t brave at all.

  So I swallowed those words and came up with new ones. “Yeah. Let’s go.”

  ***

  This time, I arrived earlier. Half an hour earlier. I wanted to beat Gui and be the first one at the ranch. To do what, I had no idea. I just wanted to beat him.

  To no avail. His Jeep was already in the parking lot—at eight in the morning on a Saturday. We had scheduled for Thursday evening, but Gui had sent me a text asking if we could change the date and time because of the tournament in L.A.—to a Saturday morning. Seeing as I had nothing more interesting to do, I agreed.

  “Did you sleep here?” I asked as soon as I entered the stable and found him at Belle’s stall, brushing Belle’s coat.

  “Nope.” He continued brushing Belle. “And bom dia to you too.”

  I tilted my head and examined him. As usual, he wore jeans, a Montenegro polo shirt, and a baseball hat. As usual, he looked good. “You always come so early. Much earlier than me.”

  “It’s because I need to set up for whatever we’re doing. I don’t want to waste your time just watching.”

  Okay, but he was wasting his time preparing something for me. I didn’t get him.

  “You know, you could let me help you set up. I might not be able to saddle a horse, but I could learn. I mean, it’ll probably take me a few tries to calm down and do it, but I would like to try.”

  He stopped brushing Belle and looked at me. “Okay.” He exited the stall and beckoned me to follow him into the tack room. “How was the rest of your week?”

  Despite this past week in which I knew Gui had been at the tournament, I didn’t see Gui around too much. Sometimes I wondered if we really lived in the same building. Or maybe he spent so many nights out, partying or with girls or both, that it was hard to bump into him there.

  “It was okay,” I said, watching as he placed the brush in a box of similar brushes, and stopped in front of a wall where all kinds of equipment hung on hooks. “I called Evie the other day, to check on her. She was hiding at the women’s center. She apologized for Mike’s behavior, but it wasn’t her fault.” Even if she had given him details about me, it wasn’t her fault. I knew she didn’t mean to. I bet that if a man was hitting or threatening me, I would also blurt out any information he wanted.

  His jaw tensed as he watched the stuff on the wall. “Did the guy show up again?”

  “No. I don’t know. I’ve been careful to leave only when someone else does, so I’m never alone. If he was there and hiding, I didn’t see him.”

  Gui picked a saddle, stirrups, and reins. “I wanted to be there every time you went or came back from work, just to make sure you were okay, but I have this damn tournament and—”

  “You’re still in the tournament?” I asked.

  He nodded, chuckling. “Yeah. Why? Thought we were that bad and we were done already?”

  “No, but … your text. You said you couldn’t come Thursday, so I thought you had a game. Then you texted again saying you could come today, so I thought you guys had lost and were out.”

  “Não. We’re still in the tournament.”

  I gaped at him. “That same tournament? In Los Angeles? What are you doing here, then?”

  He smiled, taking my breath away. “It’s okay, relax. When it’s close, it’s easy to come and go as we want. I canceled on Thursday because I had a game that afternoon and wouldn’t make it back in time, but I didn’t have a game this morning, so here I am.”

  “You could have canceled today too. I don’t mind.”

  His smile slipped away. “I didn’t want to cancel.”

  I gulped and lowered my gaze, feeling too hot under his stare. “Okay.” I turned to the equipment. “What do I do with this?” I gestured to the things he had laid on a bench in the middle of the tack room.

  “You will only watch this time.” He picked everything up and jerked his chin to have me follow him again. We stopped by Belle’s stall. “I’ll tack her up, explaining everything I’m doing. Take notes, I might quiz you later.”

  Like a good girl, I paid attention to every detail as Gui saddled Belle, but I doubted I could do that alone if he had asked me to. I was still afraid of touching and being too close to horses, and I would probably get too nervous and forget all the steps. Besides, I wasn’t only paying attention to what Gui was doing. I was also paying attention to him.

  As much as I tried to fight it, there was no way to resist. He was too handsome for his own good. Being a designer, I sometimes wondered if his clothes were made for him, because they fitted him like a glove, revealing enough of his hard body to leave me wondering what else lay under there.

  In shock, I realized I was lusting after a guy. Not only admiring how cute he was, but I wanted the guy. A man. A male. Lusting. Wanting. That was huge! I hadn’t felt this way since before that terrible night three years ago. Giddiness bubbled inside me.

  There was still hope for me!

  Then it all came crashing down. I couldn’t feel this way about Gui! He was my brother-in-law’s cousin. He was practically family. No, damn, it wasn’t right.

  “What?” he asked, exiting the stall, pulling Belle out with him with the reins.

  “Nothing,” I said too quickly. Gui narrowed his eyes at me, but didn’t prod me for more. He finished tacking her and turned to me. “What now?”

  “Now we ride.” Gui effortlessly jumped onto Belle and extended his hand to me.

  I gaped. “You’re kidding.”

  “Nope.”

  I gulped. “I …”

  He leaned forward and reached for my arm. “Come on, Hil. I promise you’ll be fine. I’ll be here with you the entire time.”

  Okay, okay. Deep breat
h in and out. I can do this.

  With my stomach twisting in knots, I rested my hand on his and let him help me onto the horse, right behind him. Immediately, I scooted closer to him, gluing my chest to his back, and my thighs to his, and wound my arms around his waist.

  Gui chuckled. “I was going to tell you to hold on tight, but I guess I don’t need to anymore.” He jerked the reins and Belle started moving. “Here we go.”

  My arms started shaking and my breaths came in small snippets. If I weren’t so nervous and scared, I would have enjoyed the warmth of Gui’s body pressed against mine, and the spicy scent of his deodorant.

  Belle walked slowly, but each step she gave, her entire body moved, which meant the saddle moved, and I swore I could see me falling headfirst and then her hooves falling over me. I buried my head in Gui’s back.

  “You’re okay, Hil.” He rested one of his hands over my interlaced hands on his hard stomach.

  Slowly, Gui guided her away from the stable. I dared a peek or two, and saw that we hadn’t left the arena. It was large enough for us to walk around in circles for a while.

  After a few minutes, I stopped shaking, but my muscles were still wound up. Every time Belle moved in a different way or stomped a hoof or did anything I didn’t expect, I tensed even more and dug my nails into Gui’s stomach.

  “Sorry,” I whispered, trying to loosen my hold on him a little bit and failing.

  He chuckled. “It’s okay.” Absentmindedly—or not, Gui ran his hand over my forearms, from one elbow to the other and back. “Tell me, what’s the next fear on your list?”

  That question surprised me. “Why?”

  He shrugged. “Just curious. Maybe I can help you with that too.”

  I didn’t have to pick up the list to look at the next fears. I knew the list by heart even before I wrote it down. I didn’t answer his question right away, though. Admitting having fear of horses wasn’t too bad—I bet lots of people were at least skeptical about these massive four-legged animals, but admitting to the rest? That would expose more of me to him, and I wasn’t sure I was ready to make holes in the walls I had put around myself.