by Anna Scott
There also hasn’t been any more mention of the ‘L’ word, I’d let that go as just a thing to say instead of a confession of true love. Besides, the last guy who professed his love for me, was cheating on me at the same time, so I was a little wary of throwing that word around too soon.
“Baby, get up, it’s almost noon.”
I immediately rolled over and sat up in the bed, the pillow falling from my face into my lap. When I moved, Luke’s hand fell away from my ass, and now he was lying on his side in the bed, head propped up on his hand. His smile was immediate, when he saw my surprise at the time. I’d actually slept in; probably because Luke had gotten up early with the dogs, so Sadie hadn’t woken me up. Her cold, wet nose woke me up often.
“How long have you been awake?” I asked.
“I got up early and let the dogs out, then came back to bed. I’ve been awake for about an hour.”
Our day progressed from there. I wanted to go back to Nolan’s, and sort some more of his stuff. Luke needed to work out. He agreed to meet me later, then we could go to dinner. I also needed to check in with Reed, to be sure he’d gotten in touch with Jake.
I’d seen Reed again on Thursday, he brought me coffee; but he hadn’t gotten a hold of Jake yet. I was starting to worry about him. I knew that Jake was sometimes out of touch for a few weeks. As an undercover DEA agent, his job could be intense. I had a feeling though, that his absence from our lives had more to do with Nolan’s death than his job.
I worked steadily on Nolan’s house, I was able to get his clothes boxed up for donation, which would be picked up later this week. It was an emotionally taxing job, but I knew that I’d feel better once it was done. Sadie was with me today, she spent the majority of her day sniffing around the house. My heart ached when I realized, she was looking for Nolan. She loved my big brother; he had always played with her, and gave her way too many treats. He even called her, his first niece.
The one good thing about the day, I didn’t cry once. I was able to keep my emotions in check. I found some old pictures, boxed those up, and put them in my car. Anything personal I wanted to take home. I checked in with the neighbor as well, and had found a yard service to take care of the lawn maintenance. All in all, it was productive.
Returning to my house, I expected to find Luke already there. Instead the house was empty. Forty-five minutes after I’d gotten home, Luke texted me, telling me he’d been called in. He apologized for canceling our plans, but didn’t say anything else. I hoped everything was all right. I flipped on the TV and found the evening news playing. There was no mention of the Dallas PD involved in anything; I figured that was a good sign.
The next week flew by. I met various local charities at Nolan’s house, so they could pick up some of his things. I worked every day, getting ready for a great designer’s new line. I had dinner with Amber, lunch with Reed, and checked in with Hope. Hope seemed to be struggling. Her grief and guilt were eating at her; I could see it on her pretty face. It looked like she wasn’t sleeping well. I encouraged her to seek help, and welcomed her to talk to me, anytime.
Luke and I talked at some point every day. He still stayed at my house most nights. A couple of nights, though; he’d worked so late that he’d opted to stay in the quiet room at the precinct, since he had to be back at work in just a few hours. Rusty had stayed with me. It was strange, almost like it had been before. I was glad I had decided to wait before making any drastic changes to my schedule.
He was still affectionate. He still made love to me every morning he was at my house. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something was wrong. The only difference was, that this time, I wouldn’t push him away. I’d be here, until he didn’t want me to be. I didn’t think his actions had anything to do with me. Neither of us was used to being in a relationship like this.
My next full day off was Sunday, and Luke was working overtime. I convinced Amber, and Hope to go out with me Saturday night. We hadn’t had a girls’ night out in months. Amber was able to convince Gillian to join us as well; we all met at my house and piled in a taxi, headed into downtown Dallas. There were some great clubs downtown, even a couple of new ones we wanted to check out.
After several hours of dancing, and drinking, I was ready to call it a night. The girls were done too, everyone but Hope. She’d thrown herself into drinking tonight. She was currently dancing with some guy who wasn’t even that cute. The dude was all over her. Amber was able to coax her away from the guy, long enough for me to pull out my phone. I needed to call a cab.
When I looked at my phone screen, I saw that I had four missed calls and seven texts. I quickly scrolled through and saw that both the calls and texts were from Luke and Reed. Knowing Luke was at work, I called Reed back, worried that something was wrong.
“Hey, Reed? Sorry, I can’t hear you very well. Hold on, let me step into the hallway.”
“Aurora! Where the FUCK are you?”
“I’m at the Blues Club, why? Is something wrong?”
“Yeah, something is wrong. Why haven’t you answered your phone?”
“Reed, is someone hurt? What’s going on? The girls and I were just about to call a cab. Should I go to my house?”
“NO! Fuck, Aurora, are you drunk?”
“Reed! What the hell is going on? Why do I have so many calls and texts from you and from Luke?”
“We didn’t know where you were, there was a fire, Luke thought you might be in the house, but there was no sign, FUCK! Why didn’t you tell anyone where you were going?”
“A fire! Where?”
“At Nolan’s. The Blues Club is in Dallas, right?”
“Yeah, what happened in Nolan’s house?” I was terrified. Not knowing what had happened, obviously it must have been bad, but I was relieved that I’d gotten the heirlooms and family pictures out already. I’d hate to lose those last things from my mom.
“I’ll be there in twenty minutes. Stay inside until I get there.”
“Reed!” I shouted, but he had already disconnected.
I made my way back to the girls; who looked at me with concern. I explained what little I knew and told them that Reed was coming to pick us up.
Almost an hour later, Reed had dropped the girls off at my house so they could get their cars. Amber was taking Hope, since she was drunk and couldn’t drive herself. Reed and I pulled up in front of Nolan’s house. It looked okay from the front, I couldn’t see any damage, just fire trucks all over, and cars from the McKinney police department.
“Come on.” Reed’s terse command irritated me, it wasn’t my fault that there was a fire.
I climbed out of the black Chevy Tahoe and stepped onto the sidewalk. I was still dressed for the club and felt stupid now. I hadn’t wanted to take the time to change at my house, but I wish I’d at least grabbed some yoga pants and a hoodie. I looked like an idiot in a teal blue satin club dress and silver strappy five inch heels.
I hadn’t walked five feet from Reed’s SUV before Luke was in front of me. I could see the rage on his face.
“WHERE-IN-THE-EVER-LOVING-FUCK-HAVE-YOU-BEEN?” He bellowed so loud, several officers who were milling around stopped their conversation and turned to stare at us. Luke was still in uniform; I assumed he was supposed to be at work, and here he was again, dealing with my problems.
I was freaked about the house, irritated by his yelling and embarrassed by both his behavior - like I was a sixteen year old late for her curfew - and because I was dressed like this. Instead of answering, I made eye contact with Luke for just a minute, long enough for him to see me roll my eyes, then stepped around him. I wanted to speak to someone who would actually tell me what was going on, what had happened?
I’d asked Reed and Luke both, neither of them told me anything, just yelled at me about being out. I could see that there was no active fire, but I could smell the remnants of smoke in the air.
As I moved to walk away from Luke, he reached out and grabbed my upper arm to stop me. Thanks to c
ountless self-defense classes, I twisted my arm just right to remove his grasp, and stepped back. Like a flash, Reed was right there, coming between us and facing off with Luke. I heard the men yell at each other, but I opted to ignore them. I made it to the officer I’d met the night of Nolan’s suicide; Dan, I think.
“Good evening, Ms. Williams.”
“Good evening, Dan, right?”
“Yes, thanks for remembering.”
“Would you please tell me what happened here?”
I felt Luke step up behind me, but when he moved to put his hand on my hip, I moved out of his reach. The way he’d spoken to me and the way he’d grabbed my arm was not acceptable. I was pissed at him, and at Reed. I heard Luke mutter obscenities under his breath, but he didn’t reach for me again.
Dan explained that the fire was contained in the back of the house. The damage wasn’t extensive, but the kitchen seemed to be the central point of the fire. He told me that the fire captain on duty would come and speak with me shortly to explain things further. There was still furniture in the house, but only the items I hadn’t arranged for pick up yet. Thankfully, there wasn’t anything important left.
Reed stepped up and stood to one side of me; Luke was still behind me, but angled forward to the other side. I was surrounded by the two men I was most irritated with. I kept my shoulders back and chin held high. I was determined to be strong throughout this ordeal. I could do this on my own.
Once I was done speaking with the police officer, he motioned me forward to speak with the fire captain, who had just emerged from the back yard. Fire Captain, Benjamin Massie, introduced himself. He seemed to notice the tension between Reed, Luke, and me; because he looked up at the two men, nodded in greeting, then motioned me to walk with him to the back of the house. The two nuisances followed, but Captain Massie bent his head and spoke quietly. I appreciated that he was showing me respect, by speaking to me directly and allowing me to share information if I chose to.
Standing outside at three o’clock in the morning; I felt the chill in the air and began to shiver. Now, faced with the back of Nolan’s house, I wasn’t sure if my trembles were from the cold or from the sight of the kitchen. The wall around the back window was broken and the walls were blackened. I could see inside; thanks to the emergency lights the fire department had set up. The kitchen was almost entirely gutted.
“Are you cold, Ms. Williams?” The fire captain noticed that I was shaking, he was a kind man, maybe in his early to mid-thirties.
“Yes, a little. I was out and didn’t change before coming here.”
“Let me see if we have something.” He turned and walked away before I had a chance to object.
Luke took this opportunity to move in next to me. He stood very close but didn’t touch me. Trying not to be an immature bitch, I didn’t walk away from him as I was tempted to do. If I gave myself a moment to think about it, I was uncomfortable with the way he grabbed me earlier. It didn’t hurt, but it was more aggressive than I was comfortable with.
“What did he say?” Luke asked, clearly pushing past what happened earlier.
“Not much, thankfully almost all the damage was in the kitchen. One of the neighbors heard the smoke alarm and called it in, so that is a good thing, it could have been much worse.”
“I’ll call one of the companies to come out tomorrow and –“
I turned to face him, cutting off his words. “Luke, thank you, but I can handle it. It will all need to be done through the insurance company. I can take care of this.”
“Seriously, Aurora? You’re out tonight doing god knows what, with god knows whom and you get pissy with me?”
I moved in, until my face was just inches from his. “Luke, why are you here? Why aren’t you at work? You’re not a firefighter. You’re not with McKinney PD. You don’t own this house. Oh, and by the way; if and when I want to go out with my friends, I’ll do it. You are NOT my father! I wasn’t cheating on you, I wasn’t doing anything you should be upset by. You have no right to treat me the way you did tonight!”
Luke stayed close to me - we were practically nose to nose. “I’m here Aurora, to support you. I’m here to help you. I’m here to be with you during a difficult time. YOU took precedence over the job I was working tonight. YOU are more important to me than that. I THOUGHT that was obvious. I don’t know what the fuck you want from me. I’m here and you’re pissed. If I weren’t here you’d probably be just as pissed. Luke turned and started to walk away from me, but my whispered words stopped him cold. “You were not here to help me, to support me, nor to be with me. You screamed at me the second I got out of the car and when I tried to walk away from you, you grabbed my arm in a way that I really didn’t like. If you were here for ME, I think you would have behaved differently. Maybe, when I got out of the car, obviously upset, you would have consoled me, shown me compassion or even just stood by my side while I dealt with another difficult situation.”
With that, I turned and walked toward the fire captain, who was standing several feet away, holding a blanket for me. I wrapped the offered blanket around my shoulders, finished talking to Captain Massie, walking with him to the front of the house. Seeing Officer Dan near the front sidewalk, I joined him and asked for a ride home. Being the considerate man that he was, he obliged.
Chapter 14
“AURORA!”
I heard Luke’s yell coming from the front of my house. He had a key, of course, and the alarm code. Apparently, he decided to let himself in. About five minutes after I was safely inside Officer Dan’s patrol car -about an hour ago - my cell phone started to vibrate. Call after call, text after text, I ignored them all.
Officer Dan looked over at me with sympathy; after that, I shut the phone off. I was much too angry, and hurt, to talk to Luke or Reed just then. Both men professed to care about me. They were supposed to be my friends. Luke was supposed to be something more than that. Their behavior tonight had me questioning everything about our relationships.
When had I shown them that I couldn’t handle myself; that I needed to be coddled? Yes, I will admit, the week after Nolan’s death, I let Luke do a lot for me, I leaned on him. Obviously, I leaned on him too much. Now, he had the misguided opinion that I needed him to do that anytime something difficult happened.
Sitting in my home office, I got up and quietly closed the door. I wasn’t ready to speak to Luke. I didn’t know when I would be, but I knew for sure that now wasn’t the time. Closing the office door was cowardly, it would only buy me a few minutes, but I’d take it. Luke called out to me several more times and I could hear that he was moving around the house looking for me. I put my earbuds in and turned on Nickelback, nice and loud.
I was sitting, staring at my computer monitor, looking at sales spreadsheets for the store when Luke barged into my office. I was determined to stay calm and cool. No matter what he did or said, I would keep it together. I looked up at him and made eye contact. I slowly removed my earbuds, then looked down long enough to pause my iPod. Folding my hands on my lap I leaned back in my chair. Staying silent, I just watched him and waited.
“Aurora, why did you leave?” Luke’s voice was clipped, his level of anger and irritation was obvious.
“I was no longer needed.” My response held just the right amount of ice; though I was pretty sure he picked up the underlying message of ‘fuck you!’
Luke visibly held himself in check and kept his voice even and measured. “How did you get home?”
“Officer Dan.” Short and sweet. I left out the part where he had looked at me with pity.
“I see. Why didn’t you come and get me? I should have been the one to bring you home.”
Instead of responding to that, I kept my lips tightly shut. I was doing my best, after all, not to shove my stapler up his ass.
“Aurora, I –“
Standing from my seat, and using the same quiet, ice cold voice I’d used earlier tonight, I interrupted “Thank you, Luke for coming to check o
n me. Now, if you’ll excuse me. This has been a very challenging night. It’s almost four thirty in the morning; and I’m tired.”
I stayed rooted, behind my desk. I didn’t want to move to my room, since Luke was currently standing just inside the doorway and I’d have to squeeze past him to get out. I was hoping that he would just turn around and go.
If I was honest, what I really wanted him to do was to tell me how sorry he was. To come to me, wrap me in his arms and tell me that everything was going to be okay. The way I felt right now, I wasn’t sure it ever would be again. Not because of the house, that could be fixed. But because I was certain that I was in love with Luke Jackson. I had been sure for a while now. The worst part of it was, after tonight, I wasn’t sure that loving him was a good thing for me.
“Baby, please, don’t act like this. Talk to me.” His words were cajoling, almost pleading even.
“As I said - it’s late, I’m tired. I am not ready to talk to you, which should have been obvious when I didn’t answer your calls. I am much too angry right now; I need time before I’ll be ready to talk. Do you think that you can find some small amount of respect for me and grant me that one request?” Okay, that last sentence was bitchy. I was starting to break. I could feel the tears preparing to flow, so I needed to get him out of here.
“Rory, I respect you.” Luke’s voice was so solemn, and even quieter now.
I pursed my lips, raised a brow in challenge to that statement and waited him out. After several minutes, that seemed to stretch on for hours, Luke turned and walked away from me, down the hall and toward the front of the house. His steps were quiet, I wasn’t sure why he was being so quiet, I didn’t even hear the front door when he left, but I did hear him set the alarm.
I walked into my room and went straight to bed. Fortunately, when I’d arrived home earlier, I’d changed into sweats, and had washed my face and brushed my teeth. I’d known I wouldn’t sleep, besides; I’d had a feeling that Luke would show up.